EII-LSE Duality Relations (INFj-ESTj)

[wacey]

With established LSE/EII couples I see a lot of "helpmate" stuff. LSE is out working, but will call home at lunch hour just to see what's going on. Might end the phone conversation with a simple "I love you".

EII defers to LSE on many decisions (that the EII orchestrated behind the scenes) as though they are LSE idea. "Well what about this (consideration)?" "Or that?" Or that?" Or this?" (note the Ne here) LSE feels useful and EII gets real support, which lets them feel safe. Safe EII feel comfortable being silly in a playful sense, but can turn that off quickly for 'business'. EII notice small unconsidered details and feels useful in return, with reminding LSE. LSE drops the stress associated with time frames and feels reassured someone is "watching the home fires", even if that person still doesn't know how to light said fire (1d Te). "I know hun I'm can't figure out how to do it, but I'm trying to be perfect for you." LSE self esteem gets a boost hearing this. "I will do it for you."

Several "Home Improvement" shows on HGTV portray this couple dynamic.

[UDP]

With established LSE/EII couples I see a lot of "helpmate" stuff. LSE is out working, but will call home at lunch hour just to see what's going on. Might end the phone conversation with a simple "I love you".

EII defers to LSE on many decisions (that the EII orchestrated behind the scenes) as though they are LSE idea. "Well what about this (consideration)?" "Or that?" Or that?" Or this?" (note the Ne here) LSE feels useful and EII gets real support, which lets them feel safe. Safe EII feel comfortable being silly in a playful sense, but can turn that off quickly for 'business'. EII notice small unconsidered details and feels useful in return, with reminding LSE. LSE drops the stress associated with time frames and feels reassured someone is "watching the home fires", even if that person still doesn't know how to light said fire (1d Te). "I know hun I'm can't figure out how to do it, but I'm trying to be perfect for you." LSE self esteem gets a boost hearing this. "I will do it for you."

Several "Home Improvement" shows on HGTV portray this couple dynamic.

The writing is slightly uncomfortable here, but I can confirm its reality.
There are even remarks that can be traced to some of the older profiles about "EII creating comfort/beauty in small details and refinements, and LSE doing this in broader strokes".

EIIs ability to be silly in THE RIGHT moments, and not interfere with Te or Se things (demonstrative Se is ... entitled to its methods) is great.

[wacey]

The writing is slightly uncomfortable here, but I can confirm its reality.
There are even remarks that can be traced to some of the older profiles about "EII creating comfort/beauty in small details and refinements, and LSE doing this in broader strokes".

EIIs ability to be silly in THE RIGHT moments, and not interfere with Te or Se things (demonstrative Se is ... entitled to its methods) is great.

I'm writing in terse sentences these days. Just roll with it.

[UDP]

I'm writing in terse sentences these days. Just roll with it.

No it's uncomfortable because its a truth and sappiness that makes it uncomfortable, not a flaw in your writing.

[UDP]

Actually, a real life couple I know is this way:

The EII is kind of the 'dominatrix' in the classical sense, of the home. At social events she'll kind of power-pout and the LSE , to be honest, looks kind of whipped and jumps to action. It's kind of funny because she's clearly Se POLR in general. He is the military man, she is the creative writer jk rowling nf fairy hippie trope.

She's slightly socially controlling and he's socially yielding in the family sense, but it works out for them.

Earlier in my life, the same EIi tried to guilt-trip me when I backed out of some plans , "you're going to do that now, after i rearranged my whole day to do this for you/us?!", etc. I didn't conform there, but I have from other people in similar ways before - especially if I am close or respect them. I feel like that kind of Fi pull would generally work on people, and I was actually more Fi-pout whipped in earlier relationships myself.

I think 1d Fi people when they are unsure of themselvs or their morality can be somewhat "overly domesticated" in that sense, differing to any semblance of impropriety. Even, I'd say, this is why sometimes LSE are referred to as being secondarily victim erotic role types.