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Thread: EII-LSE Duality Relations (INFj-ESTj)

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    actually, seeing this again..
    @Economist
    "LSE is instinctively attracted to power, beauty, and status, people who are talking charismatically and in control"

    That sounds so..... beta....? Or, enneagram 3?
    I do like people that are doing significant things, but, that sounds mostly like an EII's worst fears about being inadequate than what I would say LSEs are 'instinctively attracted to".

    I will differentiate noticing shiny things vs attraction. Do I notice all of the above? Sure I do. Is that what I want in a partner? Not necessarily. Beauty - why not. Charismatic talking? Less so. "status and power".... I don't feel they have much bearing on whether or not someone can give me what I want relationally.


    Specifically "charismatic speaking" sounds unappealing. I don't want a PMA self-help motivational speaker 24/7, I think I'd rather be put off by that. I am not attracted to people who constantly try boost or alter my moods, I'm rather decidedly against that. That's probably what I like most about Fi dominants is that the are more "honest" even wrt their Fi and Fe ..... IEEs can be... more misleading or less concerned about the implication of some of their expressions. Etc etc etc. Anecdotes aside, I'm very ok with non-charismatic NFness that tends to come from EIIs.

    I do notice a kind of "aversion to power" that EIIs have, which I think can be superficially offputting or weird in one sense. But what matters more to me, or what seems more the case, is that EIIs don't shirk their responsibilities. I think they might not necessarily "like" the pressure or spotlight of certain situations, but I've seen them be much steadier than most. I feel basically like if you offer them Se/Te support they will are very competent at organizing events, conducting research groups, planning trips, and everything else. If you keep people's petty pressures off of them, they seem to excel, even.


    And regarding beauty,
    I do know some LSE who are very stereotypical in their assessment of beauty.
    I know some who aren't.

    Again, I have been told and observed MANY EII who basically feel... inferior , whatever they do. They seem to point to an over idealized example of hair and makeup and perfect photographed smiles, and say oh I'm just not beautiful. A lot of people don't care if you don't put THAT much effort into things. I even prefer not to, to an extent. I don't like gaudy, over the top things. Subdued style, good taste, etc, that's always been more appealing .

    I can understand how delta NFs might feel more pressure to "show" or "do more" than they have, but trust me in that anyone who is substantial enough for a deeper relationship will be able to see through that.


    Also, as soon as someone understands that delta NFS are closeted hedonists, the cat is out of the bag. Outside of all their morality they like pleasure and like to be naked, too. I actually dated a delta NF woman who explained why she didn't buy a lot of fancy underwear was due to her simply not spending a lot of time with it on. I think there's an element of not-extensive effort about things, and that's fine.


    I can agree that sure, there is, in the most superficial way, differences, between all of the duals even. But I don't think it means that "instinctively" people are drawn to very different things. I would think culture , enneagram, and some other factors play into the nature of attraction, more so, even.
    Last edited by UDP; 07-28-2017 at 07:54 AM. Reason: because you're now #blessed for readings this
    Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
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    ~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
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