SLI sx/sp 8w7

[Kim]

Describe, please, Lovelies.

Oh, and Leo.

[Pole]

I want to know as well. It sounds like an interesting type to meet.

[Kim]

I want to know as well. It sounds like an interesting type to meet.

If I were to take a stab at it, I would say assertive, somewhat aggressive, loyal, caretaker, excellent taste (clothes and home) if Si-subtype, extremely passionate and physical, expresses affection through physical touch and acts of service. Arrogant when young, but has humbled himself later in life by embracing his failures as lessons and wanting to improve himself. Still feels superior to most other people, but is generally friendly and respectful as long as he feels they deserve it. Extremely protective of his loved ones, devastated when he feels he disappointed them. Home is his sanctuary, passionate about hobbies or projects. Re: sx first, wants to spend all his time with you, but also might retreat when he feels overwhelmed or fearful of the emotions. Does not respond well to pressure (especially pressure to express emotions), responds well to positive and laid-back people, needs both a lot of intimacy and a lot of space and freedom. Will readily grant the same. Can be self-absorbed and self-centered.

Can be frustrating in relationships if the other person needs affirmation or if they lose his respect in some shape or form. Sx first won't just walk away, but might harbor resentment until it all blows up. Is not good at identifying problems in the relationship (so they might be at a complete loss why someone walks out on them). Likes emotional status quo. Does not trust easily and is devastated when his trust his abused. Will then cut the person out and holds grudge forever.

Sidenote: What I have seen in several SLIs now (regardless of e-types) is that they are more expressive and flirtatious than I would expect from an SLI before you meet them in person (if you meet on a dating site, for example). However, once you have met, they scale that back (and show interest through frequent calling and wanting to meet, etc.). I wonder if this is because as long as they don't know the person, it's just a matter of applying a "template" of flirting?

[Pole]

@Kim

I'm SLI 8w7 Sx/Sp

I'd said that except for the relationship bits it sounds like me. I'm subtype though, and a triple assertive, so that's probably it.

Well finally you showed up lol

[PrettySavage]

Well finally you showed up lol

Turns out it was a false alarm, so sorry for crying wolf

I tried to run and hide in the safe Delta den, couldn't survive a week before being reclaimed by the Beta clan. I should've know when I came out as SLE on last year that once you enter Beta you can't leave (alive)


Better luck next time!

[Pole]

Turns out it was a false alarm, so sorry for crying wolf

I tried to run and hide in the safe Delta den, couldn't survive a week before being reclaimed by the Beta clan. I should've know when I came out as SLE on last year that once you enter Beta you can't leave (alive)


Better luck next time!

LOL. Guess I'm stuck as well.

[Raver]

I know this kind of SLI. They come across as socially extroverted and confident. Not your typical SLI, but a very cool and interesting kind of SLI.

[Kernel]

I thought all SLIs shared those traits What I like about them is that they can be loyal, solid, they know what they want and are very principled, at the same time, very caring, forgiving and never forget people who effected them in some good way. BUT they will always find a reason to push away or ignore people they care about (they become hedgehogs), when there was other (right) ways to approach things. AND you have to find the problem or else they will continue with that strategy! When you seem to them like you're quietly suffering they'll stop too and show their caring side. Then they will start thinking of themselves as bad/evil... But why? so weird. If only SLIs can get rid of this behavior... It reminds me of the frog and scorpion story, when the frog agrees to carry the scorpion across the river, agreeing because frog thought scorpion wouldn't stung him, because if he did, they both sink...but he did anyway because it's just natural in him.

[at sirac son of sirac]

I thought all SLIs shared those traits What I like about them is that they can be loyal, solid, they know what they want and are very principled, at the same time, very caring, forgiving and never forget people who effected them in some good way. BUT they will always find a reason to push away or ignore people they care about (they become hedgehogs), when there was other (right) ways to approach things. AND you have to find the problem or else they will continue with that strategy! When you seem to them like you're quietly suffering they'll stop too and show their caring side. Then they will start thinking of themselves as bad/evil... But why? so weird. If only SLIs can get rid of this behavior... It reminds me of the frog and scorpion story, when the frog agrees to carry the scorpion across the river, agreeing because frog thought scorpion wouldn't stung him, because if he did, they both sink...but he did anyway because it's just natural in him.

Pleased to meet you. From your description, it seems like we've met. Perhaps I can elaborate on what you wrote later?

As for how SLIs get over that behavior. That's the question. It would probably involve opening up, which is the problem. It gets to the point at least for myself, I cannot even fully open up to myself. So the SLI solution? It's to continue, with patchwork fixes

[Olimpia]

Mistype.

[at sirac son of sirac]

@Daisy,

This article http://www.socionics.com/prof/istp2.htm links it to their hidden agenda - Fi

'But here comes a twist. ISTps can often hurt the ones they love. Why would you want to do this? The one way to understand your feelings towards the loved ones is by hurting them and watching them suffer, only then you can be sure of how much you love them. Sounds cruel, but unfortunately this is the strange nature of this particular type of hidden agenda, which cannot be used as an excuse for such behaviour. '

There's some truth to that. It's not quite you don't appreciate the water till the wells dry, at least not consciously.

[Kernel]

@Daisy,

This article http://www.socionics.com/prof/istp2.htm links it to their hidden agenda - Fi

'But here comes a twist. ISTps can often hurt the ones they love. Why would you want to do this? The one way to understand your feelings towards the loved ones is by hurting them and watching them suffer, only then you can be sure of how much you love them. Sounds cruel, but unfortunately this is the strange nature of this particular type of hidden agenda, which cannot be used as an excuse for such behaviour. '

There's some truth to that. It's not quite you don't appreciate the water till the wells dry, at least not consciously.

I read it before, it was my experience too with them.
About what you said in your first post...that's why sometimes I feel like they're a shell that no one can understand, like you said, even themselves... I have met two and both are incapable of stopping it, though one of them is more aware of it and trying to improve.

[at sirac son of sirac]

I read it before, it was my experience too with them.
About what you said in your first post...that's why sometimes I feel like they're a shell that no one can understand, like you said, even themselves... I have met two and both are incapable of stopping it, though one of them is more aware of it and trying to improve.

The best relation I've had was for a few years. We lived in different cities. We'd meet up twice a month, one weekend at mines, one weekend at hers, plus chatting on the phone during the week. It worked really well except eventually she wanted to settle down and I wasn't ready.

My advice is, unless something like that appeals to you, then choose a more mature one - or avoid them. (I'm probably ready to settle down now, and I'm much easier going.) This isn't an offer haha, but, I suppose find one that's mature, and maturity can come at all ages, is my advice for what it's worth.

Good luck! Anyway there's plenty more fish in the sea than SLI :-)

[Kernel]

The best relation I've had was for a few years. We lived in different cities. We'd meet up twice a month, one weekend at mines, one weekend at hers, plus chatting on the phone during the week. It worked really well except eventually she wanted to settle down and I wasn't ready.

My advice is, unless something like that appeals to you, then choose a more mature one - or avoid them. (I'm probably ready to settle down now, and I'm much easier going.) This isn't an offer haha, but, I suppose find one that's mature, and maturity can come at all ages, is my advice for what it's worth.

Good luck! Anyway there's plenty more fish in the sea than SLI :-)

That's similar to my experience, when I started being serious about it, he realized he didn't want to get attached and was clear about it, so I'm trying to distant from him. It honestly scares me sometimes how he has no problem losing people and if I didn't make the effort of wanting to know his reason, I would have probably thought of him as a bad person and we wouldn't have talked at all after it. But the dude planned it well, before all this happens, he hinted to me about it. Now we don't live in the same place anymore so I just remind him of myself from time to time, it's pretty hard for me to lose people just like that.

[Chae]

@Daisy,

This article http://www.socionics.com/prof/istp2.htm links it to their hidden agenda - Fi

'But here comes a twist. ISTps can often hurt the ones they love. Why would you want to do this? The one way to understand your feelings towards the loved ones is by hurting them and watching them suffer, only then you can be sure of how much you love them. Sounds cruel, but unfortunately this is the strange nature of this particular type of hidden agenda, which cannot be used as an excuse for such behaviour. '

There's some truth to that. It's not quite you don't appreciate the water till the wells dry, at least not consciously.

Sounds more like ILI in need of leading 's punishment. SLI wouldn't venture into the discomfort. What I also find good is that it says it's no excuse, this is very important with all things typology.

[at sirac son of sirac]

Sounds more like ILI in need of leading 's punishment. SLI wouldn't venture into the discomfort. What I also find good is that it says it's no excuse, this is very important with all things typology.

The definition of Se is force, not punishment. I'm not sure what you mean by discomfort, but with Se as an ignoring function you're likely to find you can't force - or punish an SLI to do anything.

Other tactics are required.

Actually, in terms of discomfort, you could be advised to appear as needing help, the SLI will then likely help you instead.

They need an understanding partner. Understanding which is Fi related works a lot better with Ne to see the hidden potential in the situation. Force - discipline - Se - it's most likely affect is to cause SLI to depart.

Edit: I went on a date with an LSI who tried to force me in terms of the events for the night (where we're going etc). It worked out so well for her I got out her car at a stoplight. That's Se - force and SLI for you.

[Chae]

The definition of Se is force, not punishment. I'm not sure what you mean by discomfort, but with Se as an ignoring function you're likely to find you can't force - or punish an SLI to do anything.

Other tactics are required.

Actually, in terms of discomfort, you could be advised to appear as needing help, the SLI will then likely help you instead.

They need an understanding partner. Understanding which is Fi related works a lot better with Ne to see the hidden potential in the situation. Force - discipline - Se - it's most likely affect is to cause SLI to depart.

Edit: I went on a date with an LSI who tried to force me in terms of the events for the night (where we're going etc). It worked out so well for her I got out her car at a stoplight. That's Se - force and SLI for you.

Dittoooooooo

[Kernel]

@at sirac son of sirac
I'm not sure of this but I think when they depart (or also when they use hedgehog strategy) it's like because they want to feel like they are in control. Sometimes I really feel like they're in a battle with everyone (perhaps LSE too? I really want to meet this type) and for them ennemies are everywhere. They need a reminder that that's not true and that not all people are trying to harm them in some way.

[Kernel]

Actually, in terms of discomfort, you could be advised to appear as needing help, the SLI will then likely help you instead.

Soooo trueeeee. I feel like sometimes it's the only way to get through them. They hurt you then, then when they see you helpless, they come and embrace you. Weirdoooos. lol. Then you freaking can't not forgive them... ugh. I both love and hate you SLIs!

[Adam Strange]

I have lived with SLI’s all my life (father, ex-wife, and son), and every word on this thread about SLI behavior is true.

[lkdhf qkb]

@Daisy,
'But here comes a twist. ISTps can often hurt the ones they love. Why would you want to do this? The one way to understand your feelings towards the loved ones is by hurting them and watching them suffer, only then you can be sure of how much you love them. Sounds cruel, but unfortunately this is the strange nature of this particular type of hidden agenda, which cannot be used as an excuse for such behaviour. '

There's some truth to that. It's not quite you don't appreciate the water till the wells dry, at least not consciously.

If this is a characteristic of SLIs, I think I'll pass forever romantically speaking. I would never date someone who I knew from the start would disappoint me. Honestly, who would want to associate with someone who plays this sort of games?(even if it's not on purpose)

I probably have the avoidant attachment style, so this behaviour does not jive with me at all. And like most humans, I hate it when people let me down, hurt me, or do some other kind of manipulative shit because they don't know what they want. Got no time for that. I have some experience with SLIs, and this sort of thing happened from time to time, so that I hold those friends "at arms length" now. They message me sometimes to meet up. I'm always friendly but I prefer to have some distance to the whole clusterfuck their emotional life is. Seeing each other once a year, OK, but me coming to visit you? LOL

Let's hope I'll find someone that I can trust to be there for me, because no one should settle for less than that.

[WVBRY]

I think SLI 8w9 is not rare.

Never seen an SLI 8w7.