Quote Originally Posted by empineer View Post
very interesting! As much as I would like to think I am independent from the material world (sound extremely odd I know ), I actually am NOT! Of course! My dual is someone who cares about how elegant things are and should be, the professional person. So, before having been dualised, I always wondered, why is it that I give all I can to my friends or the people I care for and I see nothing in return? Or very little? After being dualised though, I can also see what I should see. I mean, I was simply overgiving in many cases. Now I make it into a trade. I know the value of the time I am putting for someone and therefore I do not feel guilty to expect the same thing back. My LSE friend says the most valuable thing a person can give you is their time and I agree with it up to a certain point. I have an LIE friend was really close to me and we had these friendship weekly rituals in which we talked about us and back then mainly about her problems and she appreciated the time we spend together and how much I am putting effort for solving her issues or helping her out (expressing it verbally). So when she afterwards disappeared because that set of problems were solved (thanks to my humenguous efforts - as she put it and I agree with her) and the new set of problems appeared for which she did not need my help apparently and she had found a SEE to spend all her time with, I was deeply hurt. It felt like my heart is literally torn into pieces! It is being slowly put back together though. But our friendship lost its original color to me.

I think you should be paying attention how much you are actually giving to the LSE and how much you are getting back. You shouldn't feel guilty about doing that. We EIIs are good at that. There is nothing wrong with doing some accounting there. But we have to be careful also not to break our friendships for no good reason. If there is any type who will understand us in that, it is LSE. Go for it, be frank, express it frankly, say it out loud. These things are only solved by direct discussions. LSEs also need to hear it since they are not good at those calculations at all and they will love it if someone helps them understand it. If your LSE is interested in keeping the friendship real and alive as much as you are, he will find a way to make it up to you I am sure. Also, I think you should come in good terms with yourself whether or not there is any chance that you are even a teeny tiny bit romantically interested in him (are you a girl? sorry I do not know anything about details I am just talking too much now ) since LSE gets confused if there is a hidden interest towards them unexpressed. They need to see hints. Ok I stop talking now
Do you think that LIE could have done anything differently so that you could have stayed closer friends? What is your friendship like now? Do you think she also feels it is different?

Yes, I am a heterosexual female, and I've been romantically interested in him on and off for the past three years. He knew after the first year and made it clear he wasn't interested, though we've never directly discussed it. I hope I don't seem like one of those people who are only friends with someone to try to get in their pants, because I'm not--I've been a very supportive friend of his for years since then--but I've been increasingly feeling that there is some fundamental lack of respect from his side, taking me for granted, perhaps even attempts to take major advantage of my fondness for him. I feel like he looks down on me.

I'm just kind of tired of him for now, like I think we need some time apart, some breathing space. For the past year, we've been operating at the same psychological distance as a romantic relationship, and I think people just get annoyed by people they're close to. I'm being at least a little unfair to him. He does try to listen to me about emotional stress in the same way that I listen to him about it. But I have to stop getting wrapped up in his academic problems, which he doesn't listen to me for anyways.

Hehe thanks for listening to my rambles and rambling back. EII therapy rambles for the win!