I think especially younger eiis realize they have so much ability to perceive and interpret external situations that they become used to this intermediate level 'work' - or 'conversations' as your son may have said
the problematic side of it is that it is in part training but also in part manipulation
or the desired result can be so appealing that with just a degree of rearranging thoughts and words and feelings on their part - there you go - the good result is achieved
this can lead to martyr complexes at times or just general delta nf 'bad accounting' about efforts and who's needs are tended to
especially if hey are 9 6 2 in the enneagram even
eventually delta nfs have to come to terms with this disparity
they can have the kind of relationships that they want but they can't assume their processing will go appreciated or just act like it is being appreciated or understood -- but when it is they can be happy
and they won't have to cry when they are face to face with not feeling heard or appreciated



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