Quote Originally Posted by DavidH View Post
What a neat topic. My son is an EII.

I recall a time when we were fishing and he asked me in sincerity what I always think about. I found it to be an odd question out of the blue. But then I thought it more odd that I never thought to wonder what other think about. I told him that I think about things to do around the house and ways I can accomplish those things and similarly for work. He was quiet for a while and then asked if it was pictures or words. I told him I hadn't thought of such before but that it was mostly pictures. After being quiet for longer he said that he only ever thinks about people. I asked him what he meant. He said that he thinks about things that have happened and about people who were upset or not happy. He was quiet and then continued that he talks to himself constantly. He continued that he has conversations with people in his own head. He has the same conversation in different ways with different things said between the people. I asked him how long he has these conversations for. He said until things are better. I asked what if they are not better. He said that he keeps having them. I asked him when does he get tired of it if he doesn't find an answer. He said he doesn't remember. I asked how long is the longest conversation he ever had. He said the entire time and was quiet. I didn't ask him any more questions.

It occurred to me after this that he was afraid but had no fear. What he does he always does but it never does seem to be about him. And I thought about our conversation. And I thought about how it must be to spend so long in arguments inside his own head to make other people happy.

Someone mentioned stating that EIIs enjoy knowing they make a difference. I don't think anyone will ever know the difference my son makes on a day to day basis. After that conversation I wonder every time he speaks how much time he has spent on those words and if that conversation will ever really end. With so many things to value I wonder if anyone even knows the value he brings. When he is around people are better and the world shines brighter. I do not know if anyone else notices this or not.

I also know that he has a keepsake box full of the most trivial things that people have given him. A picture of a plate would not surprise me. When someone is kind to him I think he will always remember it.
@DavidH, I find yours to be an amazing post. It never occurred to me that someone would spend huge amounts of time going over conversations in their heads, because I almost never do this, and when I do, I don't spend much time on it and I don't stress about it. (My thoughts on convos usually go "This person said precisely X. What are their motivations for saying X and what will this mean in the future?) However, your post explains very well a great deal of the behavior that I see in EII's.

Caring about others, wanting to be helpful, wanting to be appreciated.

I have been going to lunch occasionally with an EII (semi-dual) secretary for five years, and she is terrific. She does an amazing job, sets a great example of professionalism and good taste, thinks clearly if not as legally-creatively as I might like (which is actually good, I guess), and gives terrific advice which I almost always take. I always let her know that I appreciate her advice (because I really do). Professionally, she and I are an almost perfect match, but I have exactly zero hots for her, which is Infantile-Victim, I guess.
The last time we were at lunch, we were talking about socionics types, and I described her dual, the LSE, as being a lot like me (a self-involved guy who could be an unfeeling asshole, but better than me because he has the benefit of being respectable and is able to perfect things around him), and she said those traits sounded exactly like her husband.
I thought this was pretty good, because it means she is with a dual and I happen to believe that dual relationships are a good thing. But then she said, "He never considers things from my standpoint. He won't listen to what I have to say. He only wants what he wants, and my wants aren't important to him."
And then she started crying. At lunch.