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Thread: Post Enneagram Paradoxes or Vicious Cycles

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    Default Post Enneagram Paradoxes or Vicious Cycles

    ...and how to escape them:
    Like this, for instance:


    5 wants the be competent but when they explain things without people asking, they achieve the opposite effect showing their inadequacy and how non-smart they are, further wanting to master the situation intellectually, making it worse.

    Solution: The 5 can learn about when to say something (they love learning) and can stay detached when mistakes happen.


    1 wants to be perfect but the more they criticize, the more of a mess they create.

    Solution: 1 can realize their hypocrisy and remind themselves that they should be the role model first.


    3 wants to be adored/confident but their self-aggrandizing antics to get praise make them look like an insecure idiot. The second paradox: They know it since they're the most self-aware type, but still can't help it as they're trapped in their own image and go on being delusional, otherwise they'd have to invalidate themselves.

    Solution: 3's virtue is being truthful so when they let their image down humbly, people likely won't resent it and will praise them more.


    2 wants to help but ends up immobilizing the other person because they take on way too much. In fact, many 2s make themselves so dependent that the other person ultimately has a very hard time without them, further creating the need for their "help" - it goes round and round. The love they want to receive and actually get is usually something due to the other person's immense guilt or emotional debt.

    Solution: 2 can see how they experience love through seeing the other person independently handling their problems, being more fulfilled.

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    Enneagram is a paradox and vicious cycle.

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    When 6s think they trust something, they distrust their feelings of trust because they want to truly trust that their trust is truly trustworthy, but this distrust in trust tragically truncates any of the tentative trust they so tenaciously try for
    Phobic So/Sp 6w7 3w2 9w1
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stellafera View Post
    When 6s think they trust something, they distrust their feelings of trust because they want to truly trust that their trust is truly trustworthy, but this distrust in trust tragically truncates any of the tentative trust they so tenaciously try for
    That's why I have trust issues with sixes...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chae View Post
    That's why I have trust issues with sixes...
    also why 6s have trust issues with themselves
    Phobic So/Sp 6w7 3w2 9w1
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stellafera View Post
    also why 6s have trust issues with themselves
    Great comeback because now we have the vicious cycle: once more.

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    Oh yeah. I don't trust myself on anything. Literally everything is second, third, fourth, fifth guessed. I'm pretty sure I'm 614 tritype, which doesn't help since that's best summed up as "barrel of raging anxiety."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nanooka View Post
    Oh yeah. I don't trust myself on anything. Literally everything is second, third, fourth, fifth guessed. I'm pretty sure I'm 614 tritype, which doesn't help since that's best summed up as "barrel of raging anxiety."
    Is there a paradox about this? To make it topic-related. 4 and 1 sort of help each other out, 6 in charge could be the main problem. To make something raging you need 8.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chae View Post
    Is there a paradox about this? To make it topic-related. 4 and 1 sort of help each other out, 6 in charge could be the main problem. To make something raging you need 8.
    Hm. Well, the 1 fuels a 6's perfectionism and the 4 a 6's waffling emo tendencies. Those are both the most anxiety-inducing parts of 6-ness.

    So the 614 frets and frets and frets and turns into a barrel of neuroses and can't solve any of it because they're too busy fretting except HOLY SHIT I JUST SOLVED THE FERMI PARADOX but wait no that can't be right because eh I don't even know if it's right it's probably not right who am I to say it's right thinkthinkthinkthink.

    ^What a normal snapshot of thought looks like, pretty paradoxical. The 614 tritype summaries usually describe similar, it's described as one of the most flagrantly anxious but also the most cerebral style of 6.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nanooka View Post
    Hm. Well, the 1 fuels a 6's perfectionism and the 4 a 6's waffling emo tendencies. Those are both the most anxiety-inducing parts of 6-ness.

    So the 614 frets and frets and frets and turns into a barrel of neuroses and can't solve any of it because they're too busy fretting except HOLY SHIT I JUST SOLVED THE FERMI PARADOX but wait no that can't be right because eh I don't even know if it's right it's probably not right who am I to say it's right thinkthinkthinkthink.

    ^What a normal snapshot of thought looks like, pretty paradoxical. The 614 tritype summaries usually describe similar, it's described as one of the most flagrantly anxious but also the most cerebral style of 6.
    Nah, any tritype can be that neurotic barrel. Look at me, nutcase #1 Enneagram is already geared toward this way of thinking. But it stops here, "oohh my tritype is the ABSOLUTE worst" is not a cool game. Instead, can you think of a solution for these mechanisms? The OP is also aimed at provoking thoughts on how to deal with the issues. Anything else gets into 4 territory quick.

    Cerebral either way but especially when winging to 5. How does your 7-wing come in?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chae View Post
    Nah, any tritype can be that neurotic barrel. Look at me, nutcase #1 Enneagram is already geared toward this way of thinking. But it stops here, "oohh my tritype is the ABSOLUTE worst" is not a cool game.
    Oh no, I'm not saying it's the worst. Every tritype has their share of problems. I was just saying: yeah, 6-ness is exactly like described in this thread, particularly the more stereotypically neurotic variants of it. As someone who is, I was saying I identify with that.

    There are some variants though where the neuroticism, while still there, is on a lower simmer and more beneath the reach of the conscious mind. They might not identify quite as strongly with the paradox stated above. 6s with 3 in the tritype are often described as a lower-simmer less immediately graspable neuroticism, though clearly not all are since Stella is and she's the one who made the quote.

    Instead, can you think of a solution for these mechanisms?
    Unfortunately, not particularly. A series of therapists have tried.

    I'd like to, though.

    Cerebral either way but especially when winging to 5. How does your 7-wing come in?
    Yeah, a 6w5 even moreso.

    I'm bouncier, less explicitly calculating, more ingratiating and overtly nervous than 6w5s generally are. More the Tom Hanks type of 6 than the Richard Nixon type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stellafera View Post
    When 6s think they trust something, they distrust their feelings of trust because they want to truly trust that their trust is truly trustworthy, but this distrust in trust tragically truncates any of the tentative trust they so tenaciously try for
    wow such recursion, Ni likes recursion

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