Quote Originally Posted by Bullets View Post
And her fate could have been avoided... if only she had a Sassy Gay Friend!

it just doesn't feel right. like if u try to get closer it will be dramatic and wanting him to be more intimate. if you're sexually attracted, just sex with him is fine if you can truly put your heart aside but sadly the problem with a lot of women is they are unable to do this cuz they don't compartmentalize sex like we do so i think it's probably not a good idea.

But i hate telling people what to do and i could be wrong but what u said about him sends redflags and like he could have some mild form of antipersonality disorder...... me personally depending on how t urned on i was i'd just think of it as a quick good time and to protect my heart. ymmv.
Communication has dropped significantly over the last several days, so it all may be a moot point anyway.

No, I don't compartmentalize sex at all. A little while ago I had a guy demean me because I wasn't ready to kiss him yet and I had implied I might not be for awhile. He called me archaic and essentially rules-bound, but it wasn't about rules at all for me. I simply was not feeling safe or close enough to him. Plus he wasn't super attractive to me...


...of course now I'm going to be wracked with "what exactly pushed him away?!" Not the "you're archaic" guy, the Te-y guy.



Quote Originally Posted by Herzy View Post
I'm alive, and I'm glad you are too!
As for a SLE typing, the whole post made me go, "Nah, that doesn't work." There's no way I (or any of the SLEs I know) would've engaged long in a Fi conversation like that, especially on the first date. As soon as the conversation turned to respect, I would've probably subtly steered it in another direction. As for the discussion on the people in the room, I would be more likely to talk about the general "people-vibe" of those around me, or about specific things about specific people and such. Basically, there's no way the conversation would've worked the way it did if you were with a SLE.
Makes sense. Thank you! I can get all theoretical in my head, but it helps a ton to have real live person feedback.

What about encouraging / pushing for performances from your date? E.g. "You like to dance? Show me some moves!"