Wilhelm Reichs Character Structures
The types are:Characterology
Wilhelm Reich is considered the Western originator of the science of Body Mind Psychotherapy. Freud and early psychologists discovered that there is a childhood developmental process that is now known to be windows of plasticity in the brain where the developing child has their beliefs, feelings and attachments to parents, others, and objects influenced in a positive or negative way. Wilhelm Reich explored, analysed, and first proposed working archetypes of 5 key types of individual personality groups develop from this process, where developmental arrest occurs. Reich explored how the early patterns of relating and attaching to others, if problematic, interrupted, or subject to trauma, can get “wired” into the brain and the body, and then repeated as recreations in adulthood. The literal posture, body shape, muscular and fatty deposits as held in the body, as well as sense awareness organ functioning (e.g. eyesight), are affected in this process, and there develops an outcome of a correlating body structure/shape to a personality with its emotional and mental defences or adaptations towards life. This is what Reich called Characterology.
1. Schizoid (felt threatened and unsafe in relations to the parents)
2. Oral (didnt get enough nurture from parents, absent)
3. Masochist (forced compliance by parents)
4. Psychopath (authentic selves were not enough for the parents)
5. Rigid (parents denied the childs sexuality)
1. Schizoid "The unwanted child"
The Unwanted Child essentially perceived or experienced their earliest life, from conception till birth and beyond, as a hostile reception where they were rejected not just in their own nature and humanity, but for existing at all. The child felt threatened and unsafe, and may have wanted to die rather than continue in life.The childhood dynamics that setup a person to have an Unwanted Child Personality outcome are typically those where the environment, which typically is represented by the mother, or what is happening to the mother, turns hostile against the vulnerable and totally dependent foetus or child.
Their history will normally show the mother was also often not able to be there for the child. This disconnection or self-obsession can occur where the mother may have been depressed, a drug addict or alcoholic, unable to cope with the pregnancy, was an unwanted or difficult pregnancy, was forced to work long periods of time rather than rest and nurture the child and themself. The mother may have been a single parent, quickly had another child close before this one, already had numerous other older children to look after, or were in poverty or survival consciousness due to lack of resources or from living in a war zone or disaster.
The mother may be in a unsafe or abusive relationship, or the mother’s partner may be emotionally shutdown or resent the unborn child’s presence, be unable to communicate emotionally in general with the mother, not support them, or attack or rage at the mother and therefore the child. By default, what affects the mother and makes them upset or unsafe, will then make the child feel unsafe or unwanted.
The birth of the child may also be traumatic and create the sense of hostility and the world being unsafe in the child. The mother may not bond with the child at birth, or get post-natal depression, or have problems getting the breast feeding process going, so affecting the mother-child bond. Birth can be traumatic for either mother or child, and a long labour, breech or other complications such as tearing of the uterus may lead to hospitalisation of either the mother or child, and so force their separation.TYPICAL PRESENTING PROBLEMS (when first arriving to therapy)
- Lack of feelings, numbness, little or no joy or pleasure in life;
- Inability to engage in intimate relationships;
- Intense fears, paranoia, phobias, panic attacks, dissociative episodes, chronic anxiety, intense perfectionism, procrastination;
- Physical problems that could not be diagnosed medically; hypochondriasis;
- “Existential angst”, questioning one’s right to exist; feelings of emptiness and meaninglessness;
- Suicidal/homicidal ideations, impulses or actions; excessive concerns about death;
- Episodes of explosiveness, which may include physical violence;
- Self-mutilating behavior (biting, burning or cutting of the skin);
- Primary “falling” fear: falling apart;
- Primary holding pattern: holding together
- Primary longing: to feel whole;
- Primary survival struggle: the right to exist.INTERPERSONAL AND SEXUAL FUNCTIONING
- Reaching out or self-assertion in connecting to others is avoided (very little eye contact or physical closeness can be tolerated);
- Intimacy and emotional and physical letting go are intensely feared, so relating is mental and abstract; others will often experience this person as “spacey” or “not really there”;
- Sexual interaction is mechanical, with fear of losing control; sex is desired mainly to subscribe to a romantic or erotic idea, rather than for actual feeling; some warmth and closeness physically is desired, but in limited quantities; orgasm is not an important objective;
- Others, including love objects, are idealized (positively or negatively) as are relationships, which are seen in a lofty spiritual light with little real human contact.
PREDOMINANT NEGATIVE CORE BELIEFS
- “I should not exist.” “There is something essentially wrong with me.”
- “I am my mind.” “I think therefore I am.”
- “Life is threatening to my life.” “I will survive by deadening myself.”
- “I must control my feelings and others with my mind.” “If I feel, I will disintegrate.”
- “My rage will annihilate others and me.” “The world is a dangerous place.”
HIGHER SELF ASPECTS
- Strong connection to and awareness of the profoundly spiritual nature of life;
- Access to vast universal wisdom and the capacity to teach others how to make the connection to that wisdom;
- Great courage and fearlessness to connect with feelings;
- Great capacity to create and appreciate beauty, including through artistic abilities.
THERAPEUTIC TASKS
- Become grounded and energized in physical life and in the body as a whole;
- Develop basic trust in the self, others and life;
- Become aware of, feel consciously, accept and express the deep primal rage and terror in a non-destructive way without retreating to primitive defenses;
- Face original state of helplessness and hurt underlying perfectionistic attitude;
- Reverse the denial of early trauma at the hands of parents and the environment;
- Develop tolerance for ambivalence in oneself and others (correct “good-or-bad”, “right-or-wrong” and other dualistic images); and heal the splits between thoughts and feelings, and between positive and negative feelings;
- Acknowledge and experience the different aspects of the personality (child, adult, higher self), opening the lines of communication between them, while establishing an identification with the adult self;
- Become aware of the erroneous conclusions, images and beliefs of the mask/false self, and the limitations and unreality of the idealized self image;
- Experience pleasure and expansion and recognize and express one’s higher self aspects with less fear of being annihilated;
- Primary negative expression that needs release: “I hate you!” “I kill you!”
- Primary positive self-affirmation that needs assertion: “I have the right to be.”
2. Oral "The needy child"
The “Needy” character encountered some developmental arrest or interruption to their satisfaction of early needs, dependency and dependency gratification. The needs may have been physical in terms of enough breast feeding and therefore nutrition, enough physical needs such as touch, clothing, stimulation in their environment, or emotional such as mothers touch, presence, love, loving eyes, and verbal coo-ing to the child.
We understand today more than ever the importance of the presence of the birth mother to the infant, but as a society we practice abandonment and neglect of the child’s needs at the same time. As such it is stated that this Oral or Needy wounding shows up in us all in Western society at some level. In some it is primary and defines their body and their personality whilst in others it is secondary and may only show a secondary effect in the body and personality.
The childhood dynamics that setup a person to have a Needy personality outcome are typically those that result from a lack of mother-attunement with the child. The father plays a secondary but still important role of both support and nurturance to both child and mother at this stage, but the mother is the key defining relationship that shapes the child at this stage of development. Typically there was deprivation or unreliability of the parents towards the child’s nurturance needs.
The Needy personality gives the impression of being undercharged, deflated, “not filled up” or deprived of energy and their body shows a corresponding undercharge, thinness, weakness or dependency. They are still looking for someone or something to “fill them up”.
Their history will normally show the mother was not able to be there for the child. The mother may have been depressed, a drug addict or alcoholic, unable to breast feed, was forced to work and be away long periods of time up until age 3 of the child, been a single parent, quickly had another child close to this one, already had numerous other older children to look after, were in poverty or survival consciousness due to living in a war zone or disaster. The mother may be emotionally shutdown or resent the child’s neediness, be unable to communicate emotionally in general, or rage at the child or make the child feel unsafe or unwanted.
The net effect of whatever dynamics are playing out is the child then grows into an adult who still feels dependent and needy. Two main outcomes result. In one outcome, the Needy personality may disapprove of the neediness, and be stubborn in admitting they are needy of others in some way. In this variation they experience their needs as alien and wrong, and become needless and wantless. This reflects the pain of having had needs and wants once which were painfully not met, and so now it is better not to admit them, than to have them and be hurt again.TYPICAL PRESENTING PROBLEMS
- Inability to sustain relationships, projects, jobs or interests, often after a brief period of intense involvement;
- Lack of motivation and energy, chronic fatigue;
- Addictions, eating disorders, chronic money problems (under-earning/compulsive spending);
- Depression and/or chronic mood swings, manic-depressive disorder;
- Inability to let go of relationships, or recover from loss;
- Intense fears of being alone or abandoned;
- Difficulty delaying gratification, impatience, chronic irritability;
- Frequent physical injuries with slow, drawn out recovery periods;
- Dependency on institutions, parents or others for basic survival needs well into adulthood;
- Primary “falling” fear: falling behind;
- Primary holding pattern: holding on;
- Primary longing: for independence;
- Primary survival struggle: the right to need.INTERPERSONAL AND SEXUAL FUNCTIONING
- Trying to get love and support is the predominant motivation in relationships; this is often attempted either through insistent care-giving (that is experienced by the recipient as intrusive, controlling and demanding), through a helpless, deprived presentation of the self (hiding a covert demandingness and feeling of entitlement); or by direct, self-righteous demanding (“You owe it to me!”); the alienating effects on others of these behaviors will seem to reinforce the experience of early abandonment, causing the person to “give up” on relationships at times;
- Relationships will go back and forth between intense, totally “lost-in-love” involvement to sudden and absolute endings as the symbiotic struggle is acted out (wanting to merge with the all-powerful, giving parent versus wanting to separate from her and individuate);
- Relationships are frequently sought out with people who are extremely needy as the defenses of denial, projection and identification are employed (“I’ll take care of you as the needy me that I’m not.”);
- Love is related to as both “manna from Heaven” and potentially suffocating or devouring (“Can’t live with it; can’t live without it!”);
- Sexual interactions may be used to avoid abandonment and loneliness and for some sense of belongingness; orgasms may be frequent and easy but not particularly charged or strong in women, and men may not have full erections or they may ejaculate easily and prematurely without much charge; being held or cuddled is often more desired than actual sex;
- Surrendering to the love feelings for another brings up intense fears of abandonment and falling behind, losing oneself, being left alone.
PREDOMINANT NEGATIVE CORE BELIEFS
- “I must not need.” “If I need, I will be abandoned.”
- “I am alone.” “No one will ever be there for me.”
- “If I connect with another, I will lose myself.” “If I am independent, I must be alone.”
- “I cannot stand on my own two feet.”
- “I must give to others in order to get.” “The needs of others will devour or suffocate me.”
- “There is not enough.” “The world is a depriving place.”
HIGHER SELF APSECTS
- Great capacity to give to others in a deeply nurturing, truly healing way;
- An appreciation for the vastly abundant nature of existence and the joy of sharing;
- Genuine independence, autonomy and self-confidence with full capacity to surrender to the oneness with another;
- Powerful intuitive abilities and the capacity to follow insights through to fruition by sustained, patient effort.
THERAPEUTIC TASKS
- Acknowledge, accept and express emotional needs and longings;
- Develop the capacity to reach out, while releasing clinging or grabbing impulse;
- Face the reality of the early deprivation in childhood and finish grieving for losses;
- Face and move through the fears of rejection and abandonment;
- Develop the capacity to experience the self as autonomous without needing to be alone in the world;
- Develop the capacity to connect to others without feeling the loss of identity and autonomy;
- Relinquish addictions to transitional objects and self-numbing substances by experiencing direct pleasure and self-nurturance;
- Create a foundation of support in the physical world by stabilizing and sustaining relationships, work-life and income, and basic self-care functions;
- Energize and strengthen the feet and legs as a foundation of support;
- Recharge the chest and open the capacity to receive life and give and receive love;
- Energize aggression and release rage held in the oral segment and the hands;
- Acknowledge and experience the different aspects of the personality, opening the lines of communication between them, while establishing an identification with the adult self;
- Become aware of the erroneous conclusions, images and beliefs of the mask/false self, and the limitations and unreality of the idealized self image;
- Experience pleasure and expansion, and recognize and express one’s Higher Self aspects with less fear of losing one’s self;
- Primary raw negative expression that needs release: “Give it to me!”
- Primary positive self-affirmation that needs assertion: “I have the right to need.”
3. Masochist "The endurer"
There is a constant ongoing dynamic within us all to be free and to find acceptance within the community or group or family we are part of. The Endurer personality essentially underwent ongoing intrusion, control, and humiliating subjugation at the hands of one or both parents till they gave up their free will and freedom.The highly aggressive responses that occurred along the way in this losing fight for their separate existence were eventually eliminated and disowned, till they became docile and compliant. Resistance was futile and squashed till it stopped. The rage at this suppression went underground and into the Childs body.
The child starts to no longer trust their own impulses about when they are hungry, when to go to the toilet, how much to eat etc, for all this is now under the control and direction of the intrusive parent(s). In this sense the child learns to no longer trust, and to reject their own nature and humanity, and seeks instead to be guided and directed by the parent instead. They lose self determination and self direction. They are good, compliant, docile, pleasing, and falsely happy all the time, but are seething inside.
The parent may threaten the child to force compliance to the adult’s expectations. This can involve such dynamics as the threat of punishment, the threat the parent would leave the home and abandon the child, or that the child would be thrown out of home and abandoned by the parent. In many cases it is “smothering” rather than “mothering” that occurs, and occurs at the socialisation skill level of the child, but it can also occur around bodily intake impulses(eating & drinking), and bodily elimination impulses(Excretion and urination).
Basically if you corrupt the intake and/or elimination processes in the child they can start to lose their will and control over such processes, and capitulate to the parent. There is often then an interruption to the “flow” of these processes, meaning too much intake of food or drink under coercion of the parent, or pressure to eliminate according to dictated timetables. Sometimes the child starts to “hold in” and the body will start to take on a “pressure cooker” look which matches the inner psychic world of the Endurer who fears intrusion, control, smothering, and loss of freedom by other people.
The Endurer presents in life as a self-depreciating, self-defeating, and often self torturing or self humiliating individual who seems to have a need to suffer, and in their suffering, torture others. This personality type will have a need to whine, to complain, and a sense of suffering or absence of real joy. They may also at the same time present with a fixed smile which is what they were forced to put on for their parents as a child, and is now unconsciously in them the “expected thing to do”.
Wilhelm Reich noted this personality had a condition known as the “Masochistic morass”. In this dynamic, anyone who tries to help this individual will be defeated and frustrated by the Endurer’s helpless immobility, which in fact is a passive-aggressive stance towards others and towards life itself. In this stance, their disowned rage and anger “leaks out” in passive aggressive way, from non-compliance via inaction, being late, forgetting, simply not answering a question, or a hundred other ways of resisting passively.
These people trust no-one as those who should have loved them, instead intruded and abused them. The absence of trust in others and in the world promotes helplessness. In therapy the person may make a breakthrough and improve, but will then relapse. This unconsciously relates to the fact they distrust the help, the helper, and leads to a spiteful retaliation against the helper, as the helper is more powerful and therefore the parent, and so now the parent must be defeated. Trust invites humiliation in their world. The Endurer resists change and has negative pleasure in their own stuckness.
Other people get fooled at first by the pleasing presenting face of the Endurer, and then quite triggered by the underlying spite and resentment bound in this person, and by their passive-aggressive and defeating gestures, actions and inactions. This in turn often triggers others to retaliate and be hostile towards the Endurer who then gains apparent justification that you cannot trust anyone who claims they want to help you or befriend you. At this point the Endurer feels permission to vent their held-in rage and anger, which brings them great relief and satisfaction from all the pent-up energy their carry around inside themself. They then complain of being victimised. They are negatively self-reinforcing in this dynamic.PRESENTING PROBLEMS (When first coming to therapy)
- Chronic feelings of suffering and chronic low-level anxiety, both emotionally and physically;
- Submissive behavior, and lack of self-assertion (inability to say, “No”);
- Intense feelings of shame and humiliation;
- Feeling trapped;
- Self-destructive behavior patterns (sabotaging success in jobs and relationships, accidents, sexual acting out, etc.);
- Obsessive/compulsive problems, particularly around sex, cleanliness and orderliness;
- Preoccupations with sex, masturbation, pornography and/or excretory functions, accompanied by intense guilt, shame and self-punishment;
- An inability to let go of or change repetitive patterns in abusive or ungratifying relationships;
- Inability to tolerate pleasure or success without guilt or anxiety;
- Sadistic, cruel and abusive acting out, or pervasive worrying about urges to do so;
- Primary “falling” fear: of the bottom falling out;
- Primary holding pattern: holding in;
- Primary longing: to be free/spontaneous;
- Primary survival struggle: the right to be assertive.
INTERPERSONAL AND SEXUAL FUNCTIONING
- Relationships, while able to be engaged in and sustained, are fraught with tension and pressure, at times exploding into outright hostility and abusiveness as the suppressed and highly charged negativity seeks an outlet;
- Trying to get appreciation and approval, permission to feel, and relief from guilt are predominant motivations in relationships; this is attempted either through exaggerated pleasing, servile and submissive behavior (that is experienced by the recipient as hostile, controlling and contemptuous), through self-deprecating attitudes and self-damaging behavior, constant whining and complaining, or through directly provocative behavior; the angry reactions provoked in others by these characteristics will then seem to justify this person’s self-righteous fury and/or self-punishing guilt;
- Intense preoccupation with sex and frequent masturbation are common as this person continually seeks pleasure and release, both of which are intensely desired and also inhibited; fascination with pornography and/or sadomasochistic fantasy is common (seeking to turn pain, submission and humiliation into “pleasure”); orgasms are controlled by pushing and squeezing actions (of the buttocks, thighs and pelvis);
- Surrendering to love is related to as both potentially liberating and potentially crushing, with pain as a necessary ingredient and good feelings in love and sex as “too much.”
PREDOMINANT NEGATIVE CORE BELIEFS
- “I will be loved as long as I submit to the will of others.” “If I assert my independence, I will be crushed.”
- “To get love, I must please others.” “I can never say no.”
- “I must never express my negativity.” “I will hurt myself to prevent others from hurting me.”
- “If I feel too much, I will explode.”
- “I am inferior and disgusting because of my negative feelings.”
- “Life is hard and suffering unavoidable.”
HIGHER SELF ASPECTS
- Great capacities for pleasure, humor, optimism, playfulness and joy;
- Genuine supportiveness, strength and desire to be of service to others;
- An expansive, open heart with deep compassion, true kindness and understanding;
- Positive assertiveness and healthy aggression with substantial amounts of energy;
- Ability to be spontaneously creative in the moment, surrender ego control and trust the natural order in all things;
THERAPEUTIC TASKS
- Develop spontaneity, assertiveness and healthy aggression without fears of humiliation or retaliation;
- Become aware of, accept and release negative feelings and attitudes, and sadistic impulses, without guilt or anxiety;
- Relinquish the obsessive-compulsive patterns, and the excessive need to control and not mess up;
- Recognize and relinquish the self-sabotaging and passive-aggressive behavior patterns that have been a resistance to expansion and an illusory form of vengeance against the dominating parents of childhood;
- Stretch and decompress the body, opening it up to its full length; release the held aggression everywhere in the body, and particularly let go of the spasticity in the entire pelvic floor area;
- Experience sexual feelings freely without guilt or the fear that the bottom will fall out; let go of the pushing and stopping as a way of controlling the energy flow;
- Release the judgmental attitudes and disgust toward bodily functions and needs, particularly sex, eating and excretory functions;
- Acknowledge and experience the different aspects of the personality, opening the lines of communication between them, while establishing an identification with the adult self;
- Become aware of the erroneous conclusions, images and beliefs of the mask/false self, and the limitations and unreality of the idealized self image;
- Experience pleasure and expansion, and recognize and express one’s Higher Self aspects with less fear of exploding;
- Primary raw negative expression that needs release: “No!”
- Primary positive self-affirmation that needs assertion: “I have the right to be free.”
4. Psychopath "The controller/seducer"
The childhood dynamics that setup a person to have a Controller/Leader outcome are typically those that follow, but other dynamics can also lead to this same outcome. The basic need of every person is to be healthily esteemed. Self esteem issues are at the core of this personality type. Like the Perfectionistic character, this person creates a false self to cope with a rejection of their own nature and humanity. The difference is the rejection came explicitly from the parent who constantly puts down and “narcissistically injures” the child. The adult does not operate to the truth that we are born and designed to be human and live within that humanity which is the paradox of perfection within imperfection.The parent judged and belittled the child’s authentic self expression as either “not enough” or “too much” for the parent, or the parent demanded the child provide more gratification, excitement or meaning for the parent than was possible, or a combination of all of these.
There is a degree of chaos and instability operating here in the parents. The parent essentially rejects their child’s own nature and humanity, and seeks instead to force the child into an idealised version of themself, one in which grandiosity and a form of perfection is the only choice in all aspects and dimensions of life. The child normally fails to live up to the grandiose false idealised image that the parent compels them to be.
Often one parent is a Narcissistic personality themself in this dynamic. They effectively create the idealisation of the child via their own projection of a false idealised and narcissistic self. They ask the child to join them on their pedestal where they can worship each other and be worshipped by the other. This creates a “puffed up” self, including the body structure that we will touch on again. Often the other parent is frozen out of this relationship, and so a triangle develops. The frozen out parent starts to resent both the parent and the child, and the attention that is happening between them. This parent may then humiliate and shame the special child, and pull them off the narcissistic pedestal, and further and more directly narcissistically injuring the child.
Because the child needs and wants love it will give up its authentic self, and start to live from the false self created for it by the parent who is effectively using the child for its own narcissistic or unmet needs. The child learnt to restrict those parts of them self that were not reinforced, and to inflate those parts that were highly valued and demanded of them. They may have been able to “get love” by being beautiful, the winning athlete, the intellectual, or a combination of performing roles.
PRESENTING PROBLEMS (when first arriving to therapy)
- Intense fears of being defeated, humiliated, controlled, or used;
- Feelings of falseness, insincerity, and a lack of integrity;
- Feelings of emptiness and boredom, counteracted by episodes of recklessness, risk-taking and thrill-seeking behavior;
- addiction to intensity;
- Conflicts with authority (including employers, institutions and the legal system);
- Impulsive sexual acting out, promiscuity, many shallow relationships, but no real intimacy or trusting friendships;
- Criminal, sociopathic behavior; antisocial personality disorder;
- Primary falling fear: falling down;
- Primary holding pattern: holding up;
- Primary longing: to have integrity;
- Primary survival struggle: the right to trust.
INTERPERSONAL AND SEXUAL FUNCTIONING
- People are primarily related to as objects, as sources of “narcissistic supply” to support images of power and specialness; since others are objectified, anything can be said or done to get what is wanted from another without concern for the other’s feelings or well-being;
- A “divide and conquer” approach is often taken to gain control of others, individually and in groups, pitting people against each other, then sometimes taking the role of mediator or peacemaker;
- Eccentric, radical, dramatic, unpredictable or extreme behavior and appearance are often used to gain attention and/or to keep others off balance;
- The need to have “followers” is felt as an essential reason to engage with others; it is through the “needing to be needed” that the person with this character structure maintains his or her feeling of power, while denying the inherent dependency (orality) of the dynamic at the same time;
- Antisocial behavior may be engaged in with very little provocation, though it may be seen as justified by the person in the moment; these actions are not followed by feelings of remorse afterwards; only getting caught or confined is of concern, not hurting others or the self;
- This person looks directly at others, but doesn’t really see them as real (whereas the schizoid character sees but doesn’t look!);
- Sex is seen as a means to an end, or a contest, often used to gain power, not pleasure, or to express revenge feelings; sex is related to as a conquest of the other person and as further proof of one’s prowess;
- In men, maintaining an erection is more important than having an orgasm, and extreme pride is taken in the penis; in women, likewise, being seen as sexually powerful and technically skilled is more important than sensual or orgasmic pleasure; feelings in the genitals are greatly diminished, so performances of great endurance are possible, but genuine surrender to sexual feelings and orgasm is experienced as humiliating or terrifying.
PREDOMINANT NEGATIVE CORE BELIEFS
- “I must never surrender.” “If I surrender, I will be helpless.”
- “Everything is a lie, including love, including me.” “Whatever I believe in the moment is the truth.”
- “I must never be wrong.” “If I am wrong, I will be humiliated.”
- “I must get others to need me, so I can control them, in order to get what I need.”
- “If I acknowledge my feelings, I will be weak and get abused.” “The world is an abusive place.”
HIGHER SELF ASPECTS
- Great leadership and executive qualities and capacities to bring people with differences together in a harmonious effort;
- Strong abilities to guide and inspire others to accomplish their chosen tasks in life and see their own specialness without competitiveness or separation;
- True innovators and adventurers able to travel “the road not taken”, or “to boldly go where no one has gone before”, without recklessness or excess;
- A genuine seeker of truth, with genuine humility, honesty, loyalty and unwavering integrity;
- A truly big heart full of love and fearlessness to surrender to the flow of feelings, life and the Higher Self.
THERAPUETIC TASKS
Develop the capacity for empathy and compassion by reversing the numbing of pain in the body and the denial of feelings in general;
Deflate the grandiose self-images by facing their falseness and discovering the longing for truth, sincerity and integrity in the self;
Deflate the overcharged upper half of the body and become grounded and energized in the lower half of the body, allowing for the experience of real pleasure and safety;
Release the tensions at the base of the skull and shoulders, and in the diaphragm and abdomen, allowing for the flow of energy between the mind, heart and genitals;
Become aware of the feelings of emptiness from trying to “win”, “be right”, “be on top”, “get revenge”, “have it my way”, etc., when the real desire is to be able to trust;
Face the horror and confusion in childhood that came from being lied to, used and manipulated by the parents that the child was dependent on and helpless to defend against; confront the illusions that the abuse by the parents meant the child was special, powerful or bad;
Express and release the feelings of hurt and rage at the betrayal by the parents that are hidden by the mask of pride and grandiosity and the fear of humiliation, and discover that those feelings are not devastating to the self now;
Acknowledge, feel and release the early dependency feelings and neediness underneath the fear of collapsing and falling down;
Release the addiction to intensity, overstimulation and exaggerated expansiveness by experiencing the true aliveness of surrendering to feelings;
Acknowledge and experience the different aspects of the personality (child, adult, higher self), opening the lines of communication between them, while establishing an identification with the adult self;
Become aware of the erroneous conclusions, images and beliefs of the mask/false self, and the limitations and unreality of the idealized self image;
Experience pleasure and expansion and recognize and express one’s higher self aspects with less fear of being humiliated;
Primary negative expression that needs release: “My way!”
Primary positive self-affirmation that needs assertion: “I have the right to trust.”
5. Rigid "The perfectionist"
The childhood dynamics that setup a person to have a Perfectionistic outcome are typically those where in the emerging oedipal stage from age 3 to 4 up to about age 7, or in early teenage years, the child was continually rejected by the parent of the opposite sex, and possibly also of the same sex. At this age the child will have natural instinctual impulses to gravitate to the parent of the opposite sex, and will undergo an innocent and infantile falling in love process with that parent.This process sees the child become vulnerable and fully open-hearted to this parent, and being at an oedipal stage, it may also involve having infantile sexual impulses towards that parent. The responsibility of this parent is to be aware of this emerging dynamic and work skilfully with it, such that the child is not rejected, used, punished or shamed for having natural impulses of the heart and their sexuality.
The wounding parent is often a Perfectionistic person themself, who by definition, has a closed heart, lives in their head, and is threatened by others feelings. In any event the adult parent will dismiss or criticise or punish or reject the child who approaches them out of love. This crushes the child who will learn from such repeated attempts to form a defence that prevents them from being rejected and from feeling the painful feelings at all.
A parent may also feel uncomfortable with a child’s infantile sexual behaviour and shame them for this, or react angrily, so leaving the child to believe there is something wrong with this part of themself. One parent may use the child’s love interest in them as a tool to trigger reactions and anger in the other parent. Here one parent plays a cruel game where they encourage and exploit the sexuality and love of the child in order to create competition with the other parent. When it becomes too much, or threatens the relationship with the spouse, the manipulator withdraws from the used child, or humiliates or punishes them for these previously encouraged behaviours.
The child learns that it is unsafe to love sexually with an open heart and to experience natural human rivalry. The child will start to control themself so their impulses and urges do not lead them into painful outcomes, and by splitting themself in this way, they disown these impulses and feelings into their unconscious, and start to compensate by wanting to please the parent and win love in other ways.
In one type of outcome, because they feel flawed and wrong for having their natural impulses they decide to become fully in self-control and to become “perfect” and to achieve at whatever will win them praise and love and positive attention. In this first dynamic, the wounding parent will often be critical and perfectionistic themself, and so demand perfect behaviour, perfect academia and sporting achievement from the child if the child is to please the parent, which every child does, and will adopt now as the substitute for the disowned natural sexual love feelings which have been rendered unsafe.
This stance by the parent is abusive and wrong, and effectively uses their own children to promote the false ideal of perfection in the family. Many such parents may also be narcissistic and want “trophy” children they can trot out to others and show off, and whom they can boast about their sporting and academic achievements. The real authentic child is lost in all this, and becomes a false idealised self in order to survive and be accepted.
Another outcome is a person who uses over dramatisation and expression of their feelings in order to prevent them feeling their true feelings. This stance was commonly labelled “The Hysterical Woman” as the literature tended to associate this behaviour with women. It also carries the label of the Histrionic personality. This outcome is often related to a history of inappropriate encouragement and exploitation of the child’s sexuality and the resulting competition it fostered with the other parent.
Yet another outcome was the person distracts themself from their feelings by preoccupying themself in their heads with obsessional thoughts and/or compulsive rituals and behaviours. This outcome is often related to a history of inappropriate encouragement and exploitation of the child’s sexuality and the resulting competition it fostered with the other parent, but in addition there was actual punishment as well of the child for having these thoughts and feelings, despite being encouraged to do so. It is often considered as well that this outcome can also be the result of the previous early life wounding occurring that we know as the Unwanted Child.
The resulting outcome of the bodymind of a predominant perfectionstic person who adopts either the classic “perfectionist” role, or the Histrionic role, can be summarised as a person who presents harmony, order and perfection to the world. Both sexes show an athleticism and harmony in their bodies, with symmetry to their bodies.
PRESENTING PROBLEMS (when first coming to therapy)
- Unwillingness to fall too deeply in love or engage in a long-term, monogamous love relationship;
- Series of broken relationships, marriages or extramarital affairs in which either some sexual or emotional gratification is experienced, but never the two together with the same person;
- Drivenness, competitiveness, restlessness, hyperactivity, relentless need to “look good” and “achieve”;
- Feelings of unfulfillment in spite of substantial success in work-life; never feeling satisfied;
- Intense fears around vulnerability and betrayal and concerns about looking foolish;
- Hysterical outbursts, psychosomatic symptoms, insomnia;
- Primary falling fear: falling forward (on one’s face);
- Primary holding pattern: holding back;
- Primary longing: to surrender;
- Primary survival struggle: the right to love sexually.
I took the information from these websites (theres more info there, i just tried to take the most relevant parts)INTERPERSONAL AND SEXUAL FUNCTIONING
- Relationships often exhibit a push-pull quality, especially around sexual contact, with a constant seeking out of sexual situations and simultaneous flight from them; often one person is chosen as a sexual partner, while another is chosen as a love partner;
- Relationships are often sought out with people who are seen as having status in socially acceptable ways (the "checklist"); others are often related to as either competitors (to be defeated) or suitors (to be seduced);
- There tends to be a superficial or formal quality to interactions, though often with undertones of intrigue (gossiping or a soap opera kind of drama as the style of communicating), argumentativeness, or there may be an hysterical quality to self-expression;
- Something is always held back in relationships to maintain interest and mystery and an “edge”;
- Sex is primarily sought after for validation of one’s attractiveness and prowess and secondarily for pleasure; sexual energy is often re-routed into external or material accomplishments;
- Sexual desires are often experienced as incestuous;
- Sexual pleasure and full orgasm are possible, but often avoided out of the fear of surrendering and appearing vulnerable; orgasms, when allowed, may take a long time and a lot of effort.
PREDOMINANT NEGATIVE CORE BELIEFS
- “If I love, I will be vulnerable.” “I will get love by appearing invulnerable and attractive.”
- “If I desire sexually, I will be rejected.” “I will get sexual gratification by controlling my sexual longings.”
- “I will accept praise, attention and accomplishments as a substitute for love and pleasure.”
- “No one surrenders to another.” “I will survive by never surrendering.”
- “The world is a rejecting, competitive place.”
HIGHER SELF ASPECTS
- Tremendous passion and connection to the sensuality of human relationships, with a true appreciation for and capacity to express the wonder of coming together physically in love with another;
- Great capacity to let go and surrender to the flow of love, to fall in love with life and with others;
- Genuine capacities to make and sustain commitments;
- Strong organizational skills combined with flexibility, patience and acceptance of new approaches to situations;
- A deep appreciation for the beauty of physical life, and sensibilities to integrate the elements of form to create beauty.
THERAPUETIC TASKS
- Develop the capacity to experience love and sexual passion at the same time, connecting the heart and genitals energetically;
- Bring into consciousness and release the guilt feelings and judgements for having had loving desires for the parent of the opposite sex, and reverse the repression of those desires caused by fears of retaliation by the parent of the same sex;
- Develop the capacity to yield to others and to surrender to feelings without fears of becoming weak, vulnerable or losing face;
- Develop the capacity to experience the full pleasure of sexual release without ego control, and the joy of falling (falling in love, falling asleep, etc.);
- Become able to make and sustain commitments without fears of being rejected;
- Relax the fierce competitiveness and hyperactivity and constant need to prove oneself;
- Develop flexibility in the body, particularly the back of the body and neck (will centers) and the tensor and flexor muscles; develop natural sensual movements rather than exaggerated gestures of sexual “come on”;
- Develop flexibility in approaches to life’s tasks and relationships, relinquishing the exaggerated pride and need to hold back;
- Eliminate psychosomatic symptoms by making the connection with the repressed impulses behind them, and allowing those impulses to be felt;
- Become aware of and open up to the true depth and beauty of the self that exists beyond the superficiality of appearances and performances;
- Acknowledge and experience the different aspects of the personality, opening the lines of communication between them, while establishing an identification with the adult self;
- Become aware of the erroneous conclusions, images and beliefs of the mask/false self, and the limitations and unreality of the idealized self image;
- Experience pleasure and expansion, and recognize and express one’s Higher Self aspects with less fear of embarrassment;
- Primary raw negative expression that needs release: “I won’t surrender!”
- Primary positive self-affirmation that needs assertion: “I have the right to love.”
http://fullpermissionliving.blogspot...tructures.html
http://energeticsinstitute.com.au/ps...haracterology/
NOTE: People are often a blend of several, and have different severity in the symptoms. You can have symptoms of one type, but it not be your dominating type.
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Originally Posted by Chae
