Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.
IEI Boyfriend Goes Through Distant Periods?
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Many guys have an exploratory period where they don't want to settle down yet. If you are his first or one of his first long-term relationships and he is younger, he might be going through that right now. Again, think about how much he is worth it to you and how much you might be able to "train him" a little bit, show him the great benefits of being monogamous, like be affectionate but also give him space, be there when he needs you, etc. He may get over that phase, and then those episodes of distancing stop more or less. But he may not even be going through that right now! So all in all, you need to get to the bottom of what exactly makes him act the way he does, and then proceed from there.
Originally Posted by niffer
