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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    Ok so maybe it’s possible, that as a 9, I’m compatible with Estp 8s, 3s and 7s. But I’m thinking that I am probably compatible with more 8s than I am 7s or 3s..as a generalisation. They need to be 8ish maybe. (This is partly based on 7s not seeming interested in me (although they have been in the past), 8s feeling more ‘right’ as opposed to 7s who seem ‘exciting’ and partly based on observations of a few couples).


    I think you can see tritype and instincts as measuring how much of the socionics functions we use..And you need someone who compliments your function ‘measurements’.


    If I look at people of same tritypes, sometimes their personalities seem so similar. Same mannerisms, similar appearance, similar facial expression/way of expressing themselves..it’s actually amazing to notice it. Like we are all works of art reflecting each other.


    Re instincts, I can also think of one other social 9 person I know, and even with them, they have similar mannerisms to me. We both don’t stop laughing


    It’s nice when you can spot your tritype or instinct reflected in someone else- it makes you appreciate yourself.
    Definitely there are other factors that affect this. Some e types cant get along with other e types, since you are e9 that isnt a problem for you Ofcourse, your socio type makes things more selective.

    If we want to combine enneagram and sociotype, for example, there is a slim chance to come across to a SLE with 127 or 359 tritype. SLEs would be more likely 358, 368> 458, 478. So your dual is probably 853, 835, 863, 836, 683, 638.

    Besides all of this, I also like to observe the similarity even if people have very different socio types. For example 417 IEE and 147 LSI are very different in every aspect, but they are such an idealist, although they actualize their own idealism in different areas and ways. The main structure/skeleton is the same, it is truly like a work of art as you well put it.

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    Do we really can find enneagram duality? Good to remind why even ennea was created:
    Oscar Ichazo: spirituality - getting ride of your ego. Find your ego fixations, understand them and free yourself. You are number but should be not.
    Claudio Naranjo: science, but let be real - it ended as pseudoscience (what we, jung community, love the most <3). He adapted teaching of Ichazo (ignoring the core of it) and sold them without his permission to USA.
    Palmer, Riso, etc (most popular) - money. Enneagram Manual: "What animal/celebrity/number are you?" CHECK IT OUT NOW!

    In pure enneagram teaching, you are supposed to get yourself free from your number, not embrace it. There is no place for duality.
    From my perspective: we can talk about ennea duality only if its connected with other pseudoscience systems. For example (Socionic):
    As a merry 7, I cannot see myself with 1. There is no trust and respect here. No trust: I would be manipulative (trying to destroy her ego - what she belive is right and wrong; with my demonstrative Fi, I can even be succesfull here). No respect: she would despise my hedonism and rejection of social values.
    Trying to picture 7 ENTp (Fi-polr) man with 1 woman is even more crazy.
    So:
    Merry 7 (A lot of ENTp, ESTp; sometimes ISFp, INFp): 1 will end as disaster
    Serious 7 (A lot of ENFp, ESFp; sometimes ISTp): 1 is rational/good/right/accepted/fair/divinechoice

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    I’m most attracted to 8s and 9s.
    9s like my self motivation and 8s I won’t let walk all over me.
    7 would be another type I enjoy just because they are so fun and warm!

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    @myresearch Thank you for sharing your ideas and explaining them. Very helpful/insightful The thing about triple/double condition is super interesting. I should have some more comments to come lol.
    Last edited by Bethany; 03-24-2021 at 07:14 PM.
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    This is a good resource, to keep in mind as well.

    Enneagram Relationships - Do Opposites Attract? | 9types (table showing how common different enneagram matches are)

    There seems to be some patterns, but it's quite varied really.
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    4s do like 9s, as I thought. I am not sure how compatible that really is though.
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    Hmm not sure either. Could be good as friends..according to the chart it seems much more common when the female is the 4. Could see that.

    I mean I def enjoy the company of a 4 of course

    I think 4 and 9 could be likened to super-ego relations.
    Last edited by Bethany; 03-25-2021 at 10:07 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    Hmm not sure either. Could be good as friends..according to the chart it seems much more common when the female is the 4. Could see that.

    I mean I def enjoy the company of a 4 of course

    I think 4 and 9 could be likened to super-ego relations.
    I wouldn't personally as I am not really drawn to LSIs that way. I think I maintain distance from most Se egos, honestly. ESI is one that may be more tolerable than the other three.

    Not on purpose, or out of prejudice. Just mentioning something I have observed over my life.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    Hmm not sure either. Could be good as friends..according to the chart it seems much more common when the female is the 4. Could see that.

    I mean I def enjoy the company of a 4 of course

    I think 4 and 9 could be likened to super-ego relations.
    Do you have any ideas on why the male 4-female 9 relationship seems to be so much more uncommon (aside from there potentially being fewer male 4s overall)? I find that really interesting.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aciaradh View Post
    Do you have any ideas on why the male 4-female 9 relationship seems to be so much more uncommon (aside from there potentially being fewer male 4s overall)? I find that really interesting.
    Not sure..I suppose it’s to do with gender roles and expectations. I suppose e-types will look a bit different in women/men. Also it might be to do with the likely sociotypes of men and women which these e-types are. Tritype might come into it, if you believe in that! Tritype could change the energy of someone’s e-type to more masculine/feminine?

    I don’t know many male 4s, but I think if I had a friendship with a male 4, it might look quite different to a friendship with a female 4.
    Last edited by Bethany; 03-26-2021 at 09:16 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    Not sure..I suppose it’s to do with gender roles and expectations. I suppose e-types will look a bit different in women/men. Also it might be to do with the likely sociotypes of men and women which these e-types are. Tritype might come into it, if you believe in that! Tritype could change the energy of someone’s e-type to more masculine/feminine?

    I don’t know many male 4s, but I think if I had a friendship with a male 4, it might look quite different to a friendship with a female 4.
    Okay interesting, thanks for your thoughts! It would kinda make me sad if it was due to gender roles lol, as I feel like 4s (regardless of gender) would ideally be more likely to recognize the arbitrary and constraining nature of societal stereotypes...But at the end of the day, that's probably often not true in practice sadly, esp if 4w3 due to stronger image focus.

    I agree about sociotype/tritypes too though! I think that sociotype and one's IEs would definitely influence how 4s relate to society, and by extension potentially their self-expression and sense of self. Also, I'm a 497 (so really close to yours:) ), and I feel like males would perhaps be less likely to embrace types like that (or 946, etc), as they're so heavily against the norm. Or if tritype isn't innate, maybe they tend to develop their ennea profile slightly differently due to early childhood experience. But yeah, I'm not sure either.. it's an interesting phenomenon :)

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    @myresearch I've been thinking more about what you said. Have been scribbling down numbers in a note pad and will try to share some of it now..they are just some ideas, for people to ponder.

    I have looked at a few tritypes that I think might be compatible for me. I looked at all of the tritypes actually but it is too much to type out for the moment. I had Estp in mind, so for the examples I have selected types with 3,8 or 7 in the tritype as Estp are often e3/7/8.

    I wrote out all the conditions for each tritype. Each tritype has 6. You work this out by finding the condition for each number in the tritype, from BOTH hornevian triad and harmonic triad. For example, for 946: 9 is withdrawn (hornevian triad) and positive outlook (harmonic triad), 4 is withdrawn (hornevian triad) and emotionally reactive (harmonic triad) and 6 is compliant (hornevian triad) and emotionally reactive (harmonic triad).

    So let's take a look at a few tritypes. I have selected 847, 845, 739 and 826. These all share a number in common with my tritype-946. I don't think you necessarily need to share a number for romantic compatibility but I think it is common that couples will share one. I have also chosen examples which only share one number in the tritype. (perhaps having 2 might be too much and you might feel too similar..)

    I've looked at a few examples to try to think about why they might be compatible.

    Examples:

    847 - 847 is emotionally reactive x 2, assertive x 2, withdrawn x 1, positive outlook x 1.

    847 and 946 (mine) between them cover all the conditions except competent. They share positive outlook, emotionally real and withdrawn.

    This seems like it could be a good match as they share 3 conditions in common. This might mean they have good understanding/chemistry/similarity. However, they don't cover all the conditions between them -neither have 'competent' in their conditions, so might find it hard to cover/support each other in this area.


    845- 845 is emotionally reactive x 2, withdrawn x 2, competent x 1, assertive x 1.

    845 and 946 (mine) between them cover all of the conditions. They share 'emotionally real' and 'withdrawn'.

    This seems like it could be a good match as they cover all the conditions, meaning they can support each other in a range of areas. They share 2 x conditions meaning they would have good understanding/similarity.


    739- 739 is positive outlook x 2, assertive x 2, withdrawn x 1 and competent x 1.

    739 and 946 (mine) between them cover all the conditions. They share the condition of 'withdrawn'.

    These seem like they can be a good match as they cover all the conditions. However, they only share one condition in common.


    826- 826 is compliant x 2, emotionally real x 2, positive outlook x 1 and assertive x 1.

    826 and 946 (mine) between them cover all the conditions except competent. They share 'emotionally real' and 'positive outlook'.

    Similarly to the first example, 826 could be a good match as it covers all the conditions except one. They have two conditions in common.


    All of the above seem like good matches, but 847 and 845 seem like they could be slightly better.

    Hope this makes some sense..
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    @Bethany

    I think duality is more about complementing each other than being similar to each other.

    Lets cherry pick all the way

    For your tritype, 946:

    Core type 9: Positive Outlook, Withdrawn, Attachment

    Core type is bolded below since it has more affect on individual's psyche.

    Tritype:
    Harmonic - 2X Reactive 1X Positive Outlook
    Hornevian - 2X Withdrawn 1X Compliant
    Object relations - 2X Attachment 1X Frustration

    Both your tritype and core type require assertive and rejection type. Only type which has assertive and rejection qualities is 8. Hence you must feel drawn to 8 core types the most. Even in your previous post, you selected 4 types and 3 of them were a core 8 type. Most SLEs are 8s btw, maybe there are no coincidence

    You also need support in competency (1,3,5). Since 8 is a gut type, 1 is eliminated. So that leaves us with 83x, 8x3, 85x,8x5 types.

    258 and 378 tritypes have triple condition, which would be too much for your double conditioned type, hence eliminated.

    That leaves: 836, 863, 853, 835, 845, 854 types.

    836 (863 eliminated since it fails to support competency, too much nitpicking you can add it back)
    Harmonic- 2X Reactive 1X Competency
    Hornevian- 2X Assertive 1X Compliant
    Object relations- 2X Attachment 1X Rejection

    835/853
    Harmonic- 2X Competency 1X Reactive
    Hornevian- 2X Assertive 1X Withdrawn
    Object relations- 2X Rejection 1X Attachment

    854 (845 eliminated since it fails to support competency, too much nitpicking you can add it back)
    Harmonic- 2X Reactive 1X Competency
    Hornevian- 2X Withdrawn1X Assertive
    Object relations- 2X Rejection 1X Frustration

    Every single of these types have three condition common with your tritype.

    If you believe you have to share at least one e type then 854, 836 would be a way to go.

    However, since we are cherry picking hardcore, here are the notes of the little downsides of these pairings:

    Downside of 854 and 836, they dont support you enough in competency department as much as 835/853. Both 854 and 836 are very reactive, since you also have 2X reactive, conflicts can create fires at times may not resolve due to lack of competency. However, the burden would be on their shoulders, since they are going to be SLEs, this wouldnt be such a burden.

    Downside of 835/853 and 836, they dont have a frustration e-type, your relations may lack idealism and improvement compared to 854. This time this burden would be on your shoulders since you are IEI again this wouldnt be such a burden.
    Last edited by myresearch; 03-28-2021 at 02:31 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    @myresearch I've been thinking more about what you said. Have been scribbling down numbers in a note pad and will try to share some of it now..they are just some ideas, for people to ponder.

    I have looked at a few tritypes that I think might be compatible for me. I looked at all of the tritypes actually but it is too much to type out for the moment. I had Estp in mind, so for the examples I have selected types with 3,8 or 7 in the tritype as Estp are often e3/7/8.

    I wrote out all the conditions for each tritype. Each tritype has 6. You work this out by finding the condition for each number in the tritype, from BOTH hornevian triad and harmonic triad. For example, for 946: 9 is withdrawn (hornevian triad) and positive outlook (harmonic triad), 4 is withdrawn (hornevian triad) and emotionally reactive (harmonic triad) and 6 is compliant (hornevian triad) and emotionally reactive (harmonic triad).

    So let's take a look at a few tritypes. I have selected 847, 845, 739 and 826. These all share a number in common with my tritype-946. I don't think you necessarily need to share a number for romantic compatibility but I think it is common that couples will share one. I have also chosen examples which only share one number in the tritype. (perhaps having 2 might be too much and you might feel too similar..)

    I've looked at a few examples to try to think about why they might be compatible.

    Examples:

    847 - 847 is emotionally reactive x 2, assertive x 2, withdrawn x 1, positive outlook x 1.

    847 and 946 (mine) between them cover all the conditions except competent. They share positive outlook, emotionally real and withdrawn.

    This seems like it could be a good match as they share 3 conditions in common. This might mean they have good understanding/chemistry/similarity. However, they don't cover all the conditions between them -neither have 'competent' in their conditions, so might find it hard to cover/support each other in this area.


    845- 845 is emotionally reactive x 2, withdrawn x 2, competent x 1, assertive x 1.

    845 and 946 (mine) between them cover all of the conditions. They share 'emotionally real' and 'withdrawn'.

    This seems like it could be a good match as they cover all the conditions, meaning they can support each other in a range of areas. They share 2 x conditions meaning they would have good understanding/similarity.


    739- 739 is positive outlook x 2, assertive x 2, withdrawn x 1 and competent x 1.

    739 and 946 (mine) between them cover all the conditions. They share the condition of 'withdrawn'.

    These seem like they can be a good match as they cover all the conditions. However, they only share one condition in common.


    826- 826 is compliant x 2, emotionally real x 2, positive outlook x 1 and assertive x 1.

    826 and 946 (mine) between them cover all the conditions except competent. They share 'emotionally real' and 'positive outlook'.

    Similarly to the first example, 826 could be a good match as it covers all the conditions except one. They have two conditions in common.


    All of the above seem like good matches, but 847 and 845 seem like they could be slightly better.

    Hope this makes some sense..
    According to object relations group 739 doesnt have rejection element so is your tritype.

    According to harmonic group 826 and 847 doesnt have competency element so is your tritype.

    845/854 is the winner in these types imo.

    Besides these types, 359 also complements your tritype. You also share one e type with this type. However, SLE probably wouldnt have these tritype. As I mentioned in my earlier post, I think 8 core type is more complementing to your tritype.

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    @myresearch thank you, more to consider amazing.
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    It’s interesting because I think I have recently attracted the following Estps: 836, 845, 835. (Could have been 825, hm) There might even be an Estp 359 too.. (Don’t know about order of tritypes). But..there is this other Estp I have noticed, and I believe he could be 847. His face is calling to me lol. Though I don’t know whether he is available. I don’t know if it’s just that I find him attractive..it’s kind of that feeling of- I feel like I know you! After only seeing their face across a room
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    It’s interesting because I think I have recently attracted the following Estps: 836, 845, 835. (Could have been 825, hm) There might even be an Estp 359 too.. (Don’t know about order of tritypes). But..there is this other Estp I have noticed, and I believe he could be 847. His face is calling to me lol. Though I don’t know whether he is available. I don’t know if it’s just that I find him attractive..it’s kind of that feeling of- I feel like I know you! After only seeing their face across a room
    If there is a strong appeal, there is no reason to not consider it. Yes, you may feel that way because he is hot, but again I would say go for it

    Ennegram wise, he still has core 8, if it turns all right, you can get advice about competency issues from other parties.

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    Quote Originally Posted by myresearch View Post
    If there is a strong appeal, there is no reason to not consider it. Yes, you may feel that way because he is hot, but again I would say go for it

    Ennegram wise, he still has core 8, if it turns all right, you can get advice about competency issues from other parties.
    Haha I will be tempted. It’s so interesting to think about the tritypes this way! About what they can/can’t help with. Can be a useful tool for knowing who to approach for help. If you’re not sure who to turn to. And how you can help other people too.
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    For some reason enneagram has been a pretty big constant for me in terms of personality (whereas Socionics has so many existential problems that it becomes harder and harder for me to take seriously in any way). But as a "triple withdrawn" tritype, any of the assertive types 3, 7, or 8, I'm usually drawn to (as long as they are healthy or good-intentioned or good-natured people). I've always admired people of those types to various degrees; compliments/criticisms are easy to accept and encouragement usually feels real and purposeful.

    So that's probably true that withdrawn are drawn to assertives. But then I guess assertives are drawn to compliant types, so I guess this isn't really a dualizing idea when what you are drawn to is drawn to something you aren't. ...and that does sound pretty realistic actually.
    Quote Originally Posted by Aramas View Post
    Just rename this place Beta Central lmao
    Quote Originally Posted by MidnightWilderness View Post
    The only problem socionics has given me is a propensity to analyze every relationship from the lens of socionics and I also see that it is worse in my boyfriend. Nothing makes any sense that way and it does not really solve any problems.





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    Also, just want to say that there is something very interesting about tritypes 369, 147, 258. You guys seem to take on characteristics of each other sometimes. You also sometimes appear to take on characteristics of sociotypes, other than your own. Mostly I find you guys to be a very comforting presence, but I can feel a bit like you have some strange power over me. Maybe this is because my mum is 258. My brother is 693, but I don’t notice this stuff as much with him. I notice it in friends though. I probably notice it more since figuring out their tritypes.
    Last edited by Bethany; 03-28-2021 at 11:47 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nobody View Post

    So that's probably true that withdrawn are drawn to assertives. But then I guess assertives are drawn to compliant types, so I guess this isn't really a dualizing idea when what you are drawn to is drawn to something you aren't. ...and that does sound pretty realistic actually.
    This made me think about the fact that 7s are often drawn to me..and I am often drawn to 6s. I do quite like a 7 though, also occasionally I can’t stand 6s.

    Also, separately..

    I think perhaps 6s are drawn to 3s and 3s are drawn to 9s..

    But supposedly 6s are good for 3s, 3s are good for 9s and 9s are good for 6s (in a general way, not considering tritype..according to the article at the top of the thread)

    Explains all those unrequited crushes lol

    I still believe 6 and 9 have an interesting spark though
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nobody View Post
    For some reason enneagram has been a pretty big constant for me in terms of personality (whereas Socionics has so many existential problems that it becomes harder and harder for me to take seriously in any way). But as a "triple withdrawn" tritype, any of the assertive types 3, 7, or 8, I'm usually drawn to (as long as they are healthy or good-intentioned or good-natured people). I've always admired people of those types to various degrees; compliments/criticisms are easy to accept and encouragement usually feels real and purposeful.

    So that's probably true that withdrawn are drawn to assertives. But then I guess assertives are drawn to compliant types, so I guess this isn't really a dualizing idea when what you are drawn to is drawn to something you aren't. ...and that does sound pretty realistic actually.
    What is your core type?

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    Quote Originally Posted by myresearch View Post
    What is your core type?
    neen
    Quote Originally Posted by Aramas View Post
    Just rename this place Beta Central lmao
    Quote Originally Posted by MidnightWilderness View Post
    The only problem socionics has given me is a propensity to analyze every relationship from the lens of socionics and I also see that it is worse in my boyfriend. Nothing makes any sense that way and it does not really solve any problems.





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    Quote Originally Posted by myresearch View Post
    If there is a strong appeal, there is no reason to not consider it. Yes, you may feel that way because he is hot, but again I would say go for it

    Ennegram wise, he still has core 8, if it turns all right, you can get advice about competency issues from other parties.
    so I did some imagining...I think I might have got the 847 fantasy out of my system lol. Might go for the 845 instead..he is also hot (possibly available). 847 and 739 are my top Estp tritype crushes (this can probably be explained in some way by analysing the tritypes) but I think I am after something more solid I mean it's all hypothetical at this stage, but still super helpful to think about. Thank you again, for the cherries! haha The inner workings of an LII mind are a beautiful thing to me. (I never know how to say thank you to an LII, it always come out silly lol)

    What I would like to do next is think about the dual couples I know/know of, and try to figure out their tritypes and see if it fits your above system. I do know one 268 girl and I believe her boyfriend may be 739.

    Also, I think I may have known an Estp 835 in the past..I always thought of him as strange but incredibly nice (I think he's Estp? and lovely Estps exist?? Unless he wasn't Estp) But I wasn't ever physically attracted to him. Maybe he also wasn't the right 'instinct stack' for me. But then sometimes, I do think the instinct stacks are somehow something to do with physical attraction.

    Also, back in uni there was an Estp 721 guy who liked me (didn't happen coz I wasn't in a good head space) but I was very attracted to him.
    Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

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    My sister has always said that my mum prefers ‘the boys in the family’ (my brothers)..over me and her. Well, both my brothers have triple condition tritypes, as does my mum. Makes sense!
    Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    My sister has always said that my mum prefers ‘the boys in the family’ (my brothers)..over me and her. Well, both my brothers have triple condition tritypes, as does my mum. Makes sense!
    What is her type and your brothers' types?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nobody View Post
    For some reason enneagram has been a pretty big constant for me in terms of personality (whereas Socionics has so many existential problems that it becomes harder and harder for me to take seriously in any way). But as a "triple withdrawn" tritype, any of the assertive types 3, 7, or 8, I'm usually drawn to (as long as they are healthy or good-intentioned or good-natured people). I've always admired people of those types to various degrees; compliments/criticisms are easy to accept and encouragement usually feels real and purposeful.

    So that's probably true that withdrawn are drawn to assertives. But then I guess assertives are drawn to compliant types, so I guess this isn't really a dualizing idea when what you are drawn to is drawn to something you aren't. ...and that does sound pretty realistic actually.
    If you mean triple withdrawn types are drawn to tritypes who have assertive types(3,7,8) in it, I totally understand.

    If you mean they are attracted assertive to core types, some but not all withdrawn types could be depending on their core type and other typology types like socionics. However, I don't think this could be generalized, because although triple withdrawn types need some sort of assertiveness, they also need compliance. I think this should resonate more with you since you are LSI. Personally as 5w4-549, I am not attracted to assertive core types more than other types.

    Again as a whole, Fe ego 7 or 8 type wouldnt be common, yes EXE 7 types exist, but they are generally heart types, when assesing the attraction as a whole, it again doesn't make sense why you are attracted to these types typology wise if attraction isn't caused by NTR variables.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    What I would like to do next is think about the dual couples I know/know of, and try to figure out their tritypes and see if it fits your above system. I do know one 268 girl and I believe her boyfriend may be 739.
    I dont know if you mean they are socionics dual or enneagram dual, but they are definitely enneagram dual, cover each other's weak aspect in every sense. But if we cherry pick for them, their biggest downside would be that they are too positive as couple, would over look some problems and sweep it under the rug. Again other problematic areas in that duo, that there is too little competency, again problems and conflicts could be remain unresolved sometimes due that. On Hornevian aspect, none of them are really efficient at knowing when to back away.

    268 Tritype:
    Harmonic - 2X Reactive 1X Positive Outlook
    Hornevian - 2X Compliant 1X Assertive
    Object relations - 2X Rejection 1X Attachment

    739 Tritype:
    Harmonic - 2X Positive Outlook 1X Competency
    Hornevian - 2X Assertive 1X Withdrawn
    Object relations - 2X Attachment 1X Frustration

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    Quote Originally Posted by myresearch View Post
    What is her type and your brothers' types?
    Mum is 258/285. Brothers are 738 and 693. Btw, I doubt I would ever date either of these tritypes. Had a lot of issues with both mum and brother, however.. I do sense that our relationships could improve with time.
    Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

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    @myresearch I think I am starting to get the hang of figuring it out still a bit slow but have more scribble in my note pad, ha.

    Btw..

    I was thinking about this SEI so/sx 639 guy I know. I liked him and he hurt me :/ and atm I’m not speaking to him. I always thought there was something a little about him which reminded me of my brothers (not in a creepy way lol). Anyway, my two brothers (both younger) are LSI so/sx 693 and SEE sp/sx 738. So there is a similarity to SEI guy.

    This morning I was thinking about how much I would miss the SEI guy if I totally cut him off. I think it’s mostly the ‘6’ and the ‘3’ part I would miss I don’t have many other friends with these numbers in their tritypes. And then I thought about my brothers..how my LSI brother is a social 6 (with 3+9) and my SEE brother has sx 3 in his tritype. (Social 6= smart, sexual 3= entertaining) Made me think..I don’t necessarily NEED SEI guy, when I have two brothers, who remind me of him, and are not going anywhere It’s not the same, but it’s still cool Quite an empowering thought.

    edit: 639 SEI needs someone with 'rejection' condition in object relations triad I suppose, someone with a 2/5/8 in the tritype. Seriously, the whole mess of our friendship was me basically putting up with his rubbish and rejection, when in fact, it should haven been me rejecting him (basically ignoring him) to make him realise how serious and hurtful the situation was, and perhaps make him care a little more? hm.
    Last edited by Bethany; 03-31-2021 at 12:04 PM.
    Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    @myresearch I think I am starting to get the hang of figuring it out still a bit slow but have more scribble in my note pad, ha.

    Btw..

    I was thinking about this SEI so/sx 639 guy I know. I liked him and he hurt me :/ and atm I’m not speaking to him. I always thought there was something a little about him which reminded me of my brothers (not in a creepy way lol). Anyway, my two brothers (both younger) are LSI so/sx 693 and SEE sp/sx 738. So there is a similarity to SEI guy.

    This morning I was thinking about how much I would miss the SEI guy if I totally cut him off. I think it’s mostly the ‘6’ and the ‘3’ part I would miss I don’t have many other friends with these numbers in their tritypes. And then I thought about my brothers..how my LSI brother is a social 6 (with 3+9) and my SEE brother has sx 3 in his tritype. (Social 6= smart, sexual 3= entertaining) Made me think..I don’t necessarily NEED SEI guy, when I have two brothers, who remind me of him, and are not going anywhere It’s not the same, but it’s still cool Quite an empowering thought.

    It is good that you cut him off, he hurted you so he deserves it but I don't know the length of the situation.

    I love the bolded part. It is beautiful and explains so much. You are using attachment (your core type 9 and maybe 6 in tritype) to create rejection condition.

    aka I dont need you (rejection) because I already have associations (attachment).

    I think we all do this all the time, for me it would be like this:

    I can move towards (compliant) and against (assertive) you because I can move away easily (withdrawn).

    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    edit: 639 SEI needs someone with 'rejection' condition in object relations triad I suppose, someone with a 2/5/8 in the tritype. Seriously, the whole mess of our friendship was me basically putting up with his rubbish and rejection, when in fact, it should haven been me rejecting him (basically ignoring him) to make him realise how serious and hurtful the situation was, and perhaps make him care a little more? hm.
    369 tritypes are very adabtable to their partner due to triple attachment, almost as chameleon like. Best partner for them, would be a tritype who is perfectly balanced in terms of objects of relations(126,459,378,135,279,468). They need tritypes who are master of object of relations since they aren't able to manage this area. These balanced types manage it so well. They are able to look ways to improve relationship further (frustration), control the direction of relations (rejection) and adapt themselves so they can associate with their partner (attachment).

    Rejection is about creating some control in relations and they may even blind to this and reject this fact 2/5/8 types built their ego defense mechanism subconsciously thinking that they are rejected so they reject themselves first and then reject others because of that.

    They reject that they may have needs and their own vulnerabilities. They keep their guards up to protect themselves from future rejection. On the otherside, they provide nurture /care(2), knowledge/expertise(5), protection/strength(8). They help and they reject. These things create some sort of hot/cold, push/pull effect some kind of control.

    According to order and core type, their presentation changes. 5/8 types are more likely to be seem independent, literally say or think that they don't need people while 2s seem dependent on surface, even may scared of rejection openly on the surface.

    Btw, I never met a 258 tritype, I am very curious about them.

    369 tritype needs rejection since rejection types have different strategists to prevent themselves getting hurt due to future rejection, they control the course of events from the start. 369 need the control provided by these types. Otherwise, they can shapeshift in a way that their partner does not want.





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    Quote Originally Posted by myresearch View Post
    It is good that you cut him off, he hurted you so he deserves it but I don't know the length of the situation.
    It was a tricky situation, a complete farce really. Now I know why! (basically I liked him, he didn't like me, but he found it hard to not flirt with me, then it felt like he pushed me away when I was at my most upset) I think at the moment, I still feel like I'd be too attached to him..yet, I have so many bad memories of him making me feel rubbish, it's just a bit too confusing to feel so attached to someone who upset me a lot. I think he needs to feel REJECTED by me, perhaps, and then we can start again as friends. Unless he feels the rejection, I don't think he'll understand the actual depth of our friendship. (Even if it's not good compatibility, it's a very fun one although I'm scared to even say this as I am having to fight hard to stop feeling attached).


    Quote Originally Posted by myresearch View Post
    369 tritypes are very adaptable to their partner due to triple attachment, almost as chameleon like. Best partner for them, would be a tritype who is perfectly balanced in terms of objects of relations(126,459,378,135,279,468). They need tritypes who are master of object of relations since they aren't able to manage this area. These balanced types manage it so well. They are able to look ways to improve relationship further (frustration), control the direction of relations (rejection) and adapt themselves so they can associate with their partner (attachment).
    Fascinating. Yes, I worked this out too, I was too curious lol. This is really well explained thank you. I need to read up on this more. Uh the 639 SEI is a true shape-shifter. It's what gives me doubts we can be friends again. There is something very freaky about how quickly his personality shifts from one moment to the next lol. My little brother is not obviously like this...and he is the same tritype. I think it's maybe something to do with the sx 3, with the SEI it's really 'in your face, look at me, let me stun you and put your under my thrall'. (I know an 369 IEE girl who is similar). But with the SEI guy, the next minute he could be be all soft and vulnerable seeming, and the next minute tough and stoically silent.

    Will pm you about 258 tritype. Although I did have a date the other day with an SLE who could have been this type. He reminded me of my mum HA. He bought me loads of food, was a bit tv obsessed (like me) and he started off really shy on the date, before he came out of his shell. He made a comment, on the date that I seemed to have a 'defensive' manner lol. I mean I had my guard up pretty high, knowing he was SLE :s (still I felt bad telling him I wasn't into it).
    Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

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    @myresearch I've been thinking about some people I've met in the past (people who are compatible tritypes for me according to the above discussions.) I knew two guys- one was SEI and one was ILI. (sei was probs a 5 and ili was probs an 8) I believe they both could have been 853 tritype. I did get on with them, and there was attraction both ways. Also, earlier in the thread I mentioned that I thought I knew an SLE 853. Well, I realised he is LSE! We got on really well- this may have been due to his tritype. I also realised I have known a couple of 863s in the past too..I remember there was this e3 EIE guy I knew and I had this feeling about him- I fancy you but I don't want to really date you. (he sort of seemed interested too) Anyway, it was at work, and I think he also lost interested. It was like, the instinct was there, but I misread it Thought I would share this aaaand I have a lovely ILE friend who is 548. I do think there is truth in these ideas love it.
    Last edited by Bethany; 04-19-2021 at 11:18 AM.
    Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

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