Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 40 of 70

Thread: Your "Enneagram Dual"

  1. #1
    Olimpia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Europe
    TIM
    So/Sx Introvert
    Posts
    7,961
    Mentioned
    712 Post(s)
    Tagged
    8 Thread(s)

    Lightbulb Your "Enneagram Dual"

    There are countless theories on the ideal Enneagram matches out there. Most of those theories are largely based on personal experience. Other experts argue that there are no ideal Enneagram type matches generally, and that it depends on the specific individual and their goals, desires, etc. While I tend to subscribe to the latter position (with the exception that I do believe that certain instinctual stacking pairings are significantly better than others), I have recently thought more about the ideal Enneagram type matches, or in Socionics-infused words, one's "Enneagram Dual".

    The problem is, that Enneagram compatibility is not black and white. There are many nuances that must be taken into consideration. And also, the theory must be able to have its roots in reality – meaning, people need to actually be drawn to and experience satisfaction and attraction with those particular matches.

    As I was looking up the properties and qualities of the Enneagram types (mainly the canon Harmonic Triad and Hornevian Triad distinctions), I started to see how each of those traits was unconsciously looking for or would at least greatly benefit from their complement.


    Before I continue, here a short overview of what the Triads entail:


    Harmonic Triad
    (how the type deals with life obstacles):

    Competency: 1, 3, 5
    Positive Outlook: 2, 7, 9
    Emotional Realness/Reactivity: 4, 6, 8


    Hornevian Triad
    (how the type approaches the world and interacts with people):

    Compliant (weakened Mind center): 1, 2, 6
    Assertive (weakened Heart center): 3, 7, 8
    Withdrawn (weakened Gut center): 4, 5, 9



    The complements would be as follows.


    Emotionally Reactive with Positive:

    "(...) Emotional Realness types are probably best at working through their emotions as well as those expressed by others. It is just a matter of not over doing it, of being aware of how venting your own frustrations can significantly impact others."
    Positive with Competent:

    Competent with Emotionally Reactive:

    "The advice for the Competency group is that feelings, though messy and irrational, are necessary part of reacting to problems. Dealing with them, instead of denying or repressing, not only provides cathartic experience but also increases our empathetic connection with others, bettering relationships with all people."
    Withdrawn with Assertive:

    "Types of the Withdrawn Stance can all benefit from moving themselves into the world and really being present within it. Often the types can develop great skills and talents in their time by themselves but do not ever present these to the world, focusing rather on keeping it all to themselves. It is good to learn that using these skills and showing them to the world can be as rewarding as developing."
    Assertive with Compliant:

    "The general advice for the Assertive Stance types is to be aware of the other people. The types can often act without thinking about how their actions are affecting people, sometimes with very negative consequences. It the simple notion of thinking before acting but also thinking about others before doing."
    Compliant with Withdrawn:

    "For the Compliant Stance, sometimes its good to look inward at their own desires. Each type can be self-sacrificing in some way and so to be aware of how your own desires may not be in line with your society’s desires is important in acting in a way that can attend to both."

    As you can see, each tendency is looking for something else; in that manner, there is no symmetric and mutual attraction in the "Duality" sense, similar to the instinctual stacking matches. Even so, I still found this issue of Enneagram core type compatibility worthy of extra exploration and refinement.


    Consequently, I went ahead and combined my findings with the types, and this was the result:

    1's most beneficial type being 4.
    2's most beneficial type being 5.
    3's most beneficial type being 6.
    4's most beneficial type being 7.
    5's most beneficial type being 8.
    6's most beneficial type being 9.
    7's most beneficial type being 1.
    8's most beneficial type being 2.
    9's most beneficial type being 3.


    You may say that looks fine, or you are like me and find that this overview does not truly reflect reality well enough. For instance, I cannot see all 1s gaining the most benefit from a relationship with a Type 4, or all 3s benefitting the most from being with a Type 6 etc. Mainly because those types are their disintegration points, which not all individuals of that particular Type would benefit from.

    I kept thinking about this issue, and came to the conclusion that Tritype matters.
    I discovered an intriguing "Enneagram/Tritype dual" connection in several long-term married couples, including my own parents (my mother is the "Enneagram/Tritype Dual" of my father), which lead me to believe that I was more unto something with including the Tritype.


    So it looks like your "Enneagram Dual", the Enneagram core type you'd benefit from the most, is the opposite/complementary pole to your Enneagram Tritype's main orientation.


    Each Tritype (e.g 125) has either one or two main orientations (here: Competent and Compliant) or none (meaning, they are Balanced), and its corresponding "Enneagram Dual" is the core type that is its complement (here: Type 4, who is Emotionally Reactive and Withdrawn). So if I knew someone who was 125 and they asked me what their "Enneagram Dual" was, I'd say Type 4. The order of the types in the tritype do not matter; the same would apply to 215 and 512 etc. The wing of the "Enneagram Dual" does not matter, either: here, their "Enneagram Dual" would be either 4w3 or 4w5.

    Whether you will be strongly attracted to your "Enneagram Dual" or not depends on which Enneagram type(s) your Imago has. Just like you may not be that attracted to your Dual if they do not fit your Imago well enough – that does not mean that your Dual is not the most compatible with your personality type. On the other hand, just because you are in a relationship with someone who is your Enneagram Dual, or you are theirs, does not mean the union will be secured for eternity either. Having said that, one partner being the "Enneagram Dual" creates a special "glue" in relationships, which tends to keep partners together and attracted to each other for longer and better. Consider yourself lucky if you have found yourself in a good relationship with your "Enneagram Dual".


    Finally, here are the "Enneagram Duals" for each Tritype:


    125 (The Mentor): Type 4
    126 (The Supporter): Type 4, 5, 9
    127 (The Teacher): Type 5
    135 (The Technical Expert): Type 4, 6, 8
    136 (The Taskmaster): Type 4
    137 (The Systems Builder): Type 6
    145 (The Researcher): Type 8
    146 (The Philosopher): Type 9
    147 (The Visionary): Any Type
    258 (The Strategist): Any Type
    259 (The Problem Solver): Type 3
    268 (The Rescuer): Type 9
    269 (The Good Samaritan): Type 5
    278 (The Free Spirit): Type 1
    279 (The Peacemaker): Type 1, 3, 5
    358 (The Solution Master): Type 6
    359 (The Thinker): Type 8
    368 (The Justice Fighter): Type 2
    369 (The Mediator): Any Type
    378 (The Mover & Shaker): Type 1, 2, 6
    379 (The Ambassador): Type 1
    458 (The Scholar): Type 7
    459 (The Contemplative): Type 3, 7, 8
    468 (The Truth Teller): Type 2, 7, 9
    469 (The Seeker): Type 7
    478 (The Messenger): Type 2
    479 (The Gentle Spirit): Type 3

    So yes, if you are for example the 147 Tritype, then every Enneagram type could be your "Enneagram Dual". Or rather, because of the inherent balance in your personality, there is no need for you to benefit from or have a preference for a specific Enneagram type.

    Note: Based on my observations, the crucial aspects in Enneagram compatibility are (besides health): instinctual stackings and sharing at least one type in the Tritype (e.g 496 with 631). (Following that, the "Enneagram Dual" is just the icing on the cake.) There hasn't been a long term couple to my knowledge that has NOT shared a type in their tritype; and whenever they claimed they did not, I discovered one of the individuals was mistyped. Psychological studies usually conclude that Similarity is very important when it comes to people matching up; similarity in attractiveness, in background, in values, and so forth. Sharing one type in the Tritype creates an added sense of Similarity. People who share one type in the tritype usually have more similar interests, goals, and even childhoods or upbringings.


    If you want to read more like this and be up-to-date, follow my blog here.
    Last edited by Olimpia; 04-12-2017 at 09:59 AM.
    New Youtube [x] Get Typed! [x]
    Celebs [x] Theory [x] Tumblr [x]

    *********** 21-04-19:
    "Looks like a mystic that just arrived to battle and staring out at the battle, ready to unleash"



  2. #2
    Olimpia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Europe
    TIM
    So/Sx Introvert
    Posts
    7,961
    Mentioned
    712 Post(s)
    Tagged
    8 Thread(s)

    Default

    There you go @Chae
    And @Adam Strange
    New Youtube [x] Get Typed! [x]
    Celebs [x] Theory [x] Tumblr [x]

    *********** 21-04-19:
    "Looks like a mystic that just arrived to battle and staring out at the battle, ready to unleash"



  3. #3
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    10,584
    Mentioned
    1094 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cassandra View Post
    There you go @Chae
    And @Adam Strange
    Very interesting, Cassandra.

    For the past two years, I've been mentally preparing myself for life with an e6, based on the chart I posted above and on Helen Palmer's description of an e6-e8 partnership. Yes, the e6's seem like they need more support than the e5's do that I'm used to, but who knows? Maybe I'm anticipating problems where there aren't any.

    I was aware, from the chart, that male e8's also pair up with female e2's, but I figured that the e2's would be too boring for me. I have been talking to a secretary at work for the past five years who is an e2 EII, and she is a great helper and super easy to get along with and to confide in, but she just lacks a certain flair. Also, her desire to be helpful sometimes seems like a form of manipulation, and I like my manipulation right out in the open. She appears to be too sane to me, because I think I'm looking for someone who is a bit less of a Helper and more of her own random person. Someone with some level of unpredictability, artistry, and a lot of self-direction thrown in.

    I'm basically looking for a person who has her own interests, with me being just one of them and not necessarily the main one at that.

  4. #4
    Dauphin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    North Carolina
    TIM
    EIE
    Posts
    946
    Mentioned
    23 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Herzy View Post
    I'd rather off myself than land with a type 1, lol.
    Don't be so casual with suicide.

    I wouldn't want an 8 for a wife, I don't like masculine girls. I'll take an sx 4w3 girl instead, that'll do nicely.

  5. #5
    squark's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    2,752
    Mentioned
    277 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think levels of health for the enneagram matters a lot more than any of this bullshit. It's a tool for growth and development, not some kind of astrological match-making chart. And if two people are healthy and their best selves how much does the rest even matter?

  6. #6
    Bertrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    5,896
    Mentioned
    484 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by squark View Post
    I think levels of health for the enneagram matters a lot more than any of this bullshit. It's a tool for growth and development, not some kind of astrological match-making chart. And if two people are healthy and their best selves how much does the rest even matter?
    I agree, a lot of this feels like an end run negotiation around actually getting healthy, which is the only real answer... I think all types tend to converge at the top and you can only get true congruence in that way. trying to fit the pieces together any other way is just like a poor half solution

  7. #7
    Olimpia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Europe
    TIM
    So/Sx Introvert
    Posts
    7,961
    Mentioned
    712 Post(s)
    Tagged
    8 Thread(s)

    Default

    Well, this overview is just an attempt at getting closer to some kind of Enneagram type compatibility idea, or rather which type(s) would benefit your personality structure the most.

    I do agree that health is quite important, however I've found this "Enneagram Dual" stuff applying to both healthier and less healthy married couples.
    If you don't care for it, fine. This overview is not really supposed to be followed.

    I have not mentioned it in the article, but based on my observations etc etc, the real importance in Enneagram compatibility are (besides health, but that is a no brainer): instinctual stackings and sharing at least one type in the Tritype (e.g 496 with 631).

    There hasn't been a long term couple to my knowledge that has NOT shared a type in their tritype.
    And whenever they claimed they did not, I discovered one of the individuals was mistyped.

    Psychological studies usually conclude that Similarity is very important when it comes to people matching up; similarity in attractiveness, in background, in values, and so forth. Sharing one type in the Tritype creates an added sense of Similarity. People who share one type in the tritype usually have more similar interests, goals, and even childhoods or upbringings (yes, I believe a big part of Enneagram is nurture, @Viktor has explained the role of nurture for Enneagram types well recently).
    Last edited by Olimpia; 04-12-2017 at 07:54 AM.
    New Youtube [x] Get Typed! [x]
    Celebs [x] Theory [x] Tumblr [x]

    *********** 21-04-19:
    "Looks like a mystic that just arrived to battle and staring out at the battle, ready to unleash"



  8. #8
    Bertrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    5,896
    Mentioned
    484 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Sorry, I wasn't trying to shit on your project; I realize now maybe it came off that way. Just trying to emphasize the importance of health in general

  9. #9
    meme hotline Chae's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    TIM
    ethic 3
    Posts
    9,082
    Mentioned
    714 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Oww yesss I live for this.

    So the best relationship is a love triangle! Hello, 6s (the counterphobic ones) and 9s please apply right here.

  10. #10
    maniac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    TIM
    EII
    Posts
    3,978
    Mentioned
    235 Post(s)
    Tagged
    7 Thread(s)

    Default

    Again i dont think there are good and bad matches with enneagram types. But i think you often are attracted to the opposite of you, for example I usually am drawn to 479 tritype and core 9 and 7, but I dont think they are better for me than any other types. Only a matter of attraction.

  11. #11
    Olimpia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Europe
    TIM
    So/Sx Introvert
    Posts
    7,961
    Mentioned
    712 Post(s)
    Tagged
    8 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Slugabed View Post
    So, yeah, I'm really curious, I hope someone could explain how a 3 would be the dual of a 952/259…(please note that 2 is also a "helping" type, who with 9 would just reinforce the 9 tendency to accept, agree and else).
    The Type 3 can show the 259 how to be more assertive and goal-oriented; how to stand up for oneself and make their dreams a reality.

    Of course an unhealthy Type 3 could easily push the buttons of a 259 and harm them in that way; but that applies to all "Enneagram Duals", in one way or another. Someone who is the balance to your weaknesses could in the worst case scenario be your worst enemy. To some extent, that could even apply to "real" Socionics Duals who for some reason cannot stand each other.
    New Youtube [x] Get Typed! [x]
    Celebs [x] Theory [x] Tumblr [x]

    *********** 21-04-19:
    "Looks like a mystic that just arrived to battle and staring out at the battle, ready to unleash"



  12. #12
    meme hotline Chae's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    TIM
    ethic 3
    Posts
    9,082
    Mentioned
    714 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    @Slugabed how about a healthier 3 with a 2-wing, they seem to be suited for what you look for. I think they can very well motivate someone else and make them succeed if only they are sober-headed and altruistic enough. Maybe hard to find among young threes, honestly most of us are completely fuqed in the head by circumstances of our time and the overvaluing of 3 characteristics. And we're stupid enough to buy into it so it's our fault. A 3 will only become less hungry for applause and resistant to failure/critique when life beats them down. Usually through illness, typical 3 scenario. And they realize it's not about pleasing others. You heard that right, 3s are already attuned to the standards outside of themselves. So they need to focus on themselves first. Sounds counterintuitive but the narcissism you talk about is essentially the defense to having other people devalue you. Hence 3 needs to care less about others and the expectations they imagine they have before being able to become another person's cheerleader. 3 doesn't see this role when young, they think they appeal through being the successful ones themselves. 2s know that role of sacrifice way better and already meet other's needs intuitively but again it takes time for a core 3 with this wing to manifest it, also integrating 6. That happens during adolescence when career gets tough so - pick someone who's older and through some really bad shit that made them grow.

  13. #13
    Olimpia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Europe
    TIM
    So/Sx Introvert
    Posts
    7,961
    Mentioned
    712 Post(s)
    Tagged
    8 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think you are confusing general Type 3-ness with "full-blown" narcissism.

    Not every Type 3 has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

    You very well may have had negative experiences with "real" narcissists. That doesn't mean you'd have that kind of experience with every 3.
    Nor is every person with NPD Type 3 core. Some are 8s with a 3 fix.

    You could argue that NPD is the unhealthiest level of a 3. Even so, the average 3 doesn't have NPD.
    New Youtube [x] Get Typed! [x]
    Celebs [x] Theory [x] Tumblr [x]

    *********** 21-04-19:
    "Looks like a mystic that just arrived to battle and staring out at the battle, ready to unleash"



  14. #14
    Olimpia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Europe
    TIM
    So/Sx Introvert
    Posts
    7,961
    Mentioned
    712 Post(s)
    Tagged
    8 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Slugabed View Post
    The ppl that I know irl dont have NPD, they are just average 3 (they have gone to psychologist and else, if you want to know why I'm so sure of it). The link doesnt talk of npd btw, its just ppl with narcissistic tendencies (and I know that there could be other types with narcissistic tendencies, but the ppl that I'm talking of, specifically are type 3).

    I dont want to argue or anything obviously, but I dont see a real support for 259: 3 duality. If we are talking about "ideal" matches, on some ideal world, then, ok, this is right, but I guess that this personality stuff should have a real application to life at some point.

    Anyway sorry for asking or making my point out.
    No need to feel sorry for voicing your concerns.
    Things like that can help with refining thoughts, and trying to reach a better understanding or perspective on an issue.

    As I have said before, health matters a lot. If someone's too mentally unhealthy, they can be any kind of "Dual", it is not really gonna work well with you two.

    So, in that sense all those things are pretty relative. An unhealthy Dual is gonna be worse than a healthy Semi-Dual.
    That's how those things play out in reality...
    New Youtube [x] Get Typed! [x]
    Celebs [x] Theory [x] Tumblr [x]

    *********** 21-04-19:
    "Looks like a mystic that just arrived to battle and staring out at the battle, ready to unleash"



  15. #15
    Akira's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    TIM
    Га6eH
    Posts
    3,325
    Mentioned
    405 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    @Chae

    Not sure if it would make a significant difference, tbh.

    But thanks for your words, and I'm still loving 3s, failures and all, because natural attraction

    I love 3 for real but I don't think that we can talk about duality on enneagram as in socionics, since duality talks about mutual benefit/complementarily.
    Last edited by Akira; 04-22-2017 at 10:11 AM.
    "All nations will place their hope in him."
    (Mt 12:21)

  16. #16
    I sacrificed a goat to Zeus and I liked it
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Durmstrang School
    Posts
    2,845
    Mentioned
    164 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    "Enneagram duality" is an awful idea. All of the type relationships are asymmetrical, so basically you have to make a value judgement and decide who should be prioritized over who. The closest thing to a dual would be same type but different wings, and tritype dual would be that you have to have one of your non-core centers integrate to another one of your partner's or vice versa, and that only works if they aren't actually prioritized beyond the first one, which people always argue over.

    This also reminds me, when you said couples usually have one of the enneagram centers in common, that pretty much always just happens by chance. The chance of having one center in a tritype in common is 23/27, although I don't think self-typed -PoLRs care about that. So basically, people are just marrying random people. But with the divorce statistics, I'm not sure why anyone expects anything else.

    Anyways, what is "healthy"? We're all mad here...

  17. #17
    Olimpia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Europe
    TIM
    So/Sx Introvert
    Posts
    7,961
    Mentioned
    712 Post(s)
    Tagged
    8 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wyrd View Post
    "Enneagram duality" is an awful idea. All of the type relationships are asymmetrical, so basically you have to make a value judgement and decide who should be prioritized over who. The closest thing to a dual would be same type but different wings, and tritype dual would be that you have to have one of your non-core centers integrate to another one of your partner's or vice versa, and that only works if they aren't actually prioritized beyond the first one, which people always argue over.

    This also reminds me, when you said couples usually have one of the enneagram centers in common, that pretty much always just happens by chance. The chance of having one center in a tritype in common is 23/27, although I don't think self-typed -PoLRs care about that. So basically, people are just marrying random people. But with the divorce statistics, I'm not sure why anyone expects anything else.

    Anyways, what is "healthy"? We're all mad here...
    My idea on "Enneagram duality" just stemmed from someone asking for whether there is Enneagram Duality, and I discovered that there is none because of the asymmetry (same for the instinctual stackings). I think I have made it clear that technically, there is no "real Enneagram Duality." I use the term because people are gonna look/search for it, trying to find an answer to that question, and because it is an attractive "buzz word".

    Regarding the idea being awful and having to make a value judgment, that's your speaking there, I guess. It is not like people will consciously decide what kind of "Enneagram Duality" to choose, I have seen that kind of thing happening without any of the people knowing about Enneagram.

    Why would an "Enneagram Dual" be the same type with another wing? There is not much complementary action going on if both your main types are the same. Regarding the "tritype duality", maybe that is how it works, but as you said that is debatable and again brings up the issues of asymmetry.

    Sharing similar tritypes "by default": I suppose that is true to an extent; as far as I know, the vast majority of people in the world have a 6 fix, so if you do too, your chances of finding or being with someone else with a 6 fix are very high. People like me who don't have a 6 fix will have more trouble finding someone to connect with on that tritype basis, and if you have a tritype that both lacks a 6 and 9 fix (the most common fixes, as far as I know), you are gonna have even less people to connect with on that level. The chance of 23/27 would be "real" if all fixes were equally distributed, which I doubt they are based on anecdotal evidence and this overview.

    The divorce statistics are the way they are because previously, divorces weren't a common or tolerable practice in society (aka people divorced less because they couldn't), and also because we humans aren't naturally monogamous, but that's a whole other debate. I don't think that's Enneagram related.

    At last, I suppose this forum (or the Internet in general) attracts more "mad" or unhealthy people, but that doesn't mean it's impossible to be healthy or at least have an average health level. My guess is that most people in the world are in-between Level 4-7. As a reference, 4-6 are the "average" levels. 1-3 is "healthy", and 7-9 is "unhealthy".
    New Youtube [x] Get Typed! [x]
    Celebs [x] Theory [x] Tumblr [x]

    *********** 21-04-19:
    "Looks like a mystic that just arrived to battle and staring out at the battle, ready to unleash"



  18. #18
    I sacrificed a goat to Zeus and I liked it
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Durmstrang School
    Posts
    2,845
    Mentioned
    164 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    @Cassandra The reason this forum keeps going is that people use theories to run their lives. "Enneagram duality" is an awful idea because it's incoherent. You're just subjectively deciding who should marry who. Socionics duality has a theoretical basis, and it's not even about what's pleasant for couples or what "works well", it's about mathematical completion in the social economics system. Your system has no theoretical basis, it's just about what you think is healthier or unhealthier. You can't even type anyone correctly, so you just have these ideas of who "duals" are and you type people after looking at their relationships in retrospect. As far as your typing competency goes, you have a lot of explaining to do to justify me as a bubbly Ep type and I'll leave you to flounder at that.

    The reasons the "wings" would be the closest thing to enneagram duality is that both people of the same type, say 4, have the same goal/values, but 4w3 expresses that through the 3 wing and 4w5 expresses that through the 5 wing, so that's vaguely complementary. Pairing 4 with 1 is basically like a supervision relationship, not duality. If you think that's what's beneficial, you have to go through and explain why, but you'll have the whole socionics community on you so have fun.

    And it's no bad thing that we're all mad here "Health" is an incoherent idea, people have different behaviors that are subjectively adaptive or maladaptive in different situations. But what is thought to be bad at one point can turn out to be good at another point and vice versa, so I'm not sure how much I can care about people's "health". Madness was a state desired by the ancient Greeks and Norse and basically every culture with "shamans", because you come out with something else that you couldn't get any other way. Poets had "divine madness" according to Aristotle, and people don't usually say "divine" to mean something bad last time I checked. Never mind what the original quote refers to...
    Last edited by Pallas; 04-24-2017 at 02:22 AM.

  19. #19
    Guillaine's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    TIM
    IEE 4w5 sx/so
    Posts
    394
    Mentioned
    29 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think there is a natural affinity between 469 and 478 tritypes because the 469 is quite anxious and the 478 a bit overconfident/zealous so they reassure while the 469 can ground and bring humor and lightness to the pair. The downsides are both are intense in their inner worlds/feelings but my experiences are with two F types. I've had close friendships/relationships with every 469 enneagram type. The other type that works well with 478 is 268 (with 6 as base type). i am still deciding which is better but I think there is something to be said for having the same gut type, as ultimately the intensity level is matched and the kinds of conflicts are even...if that makes sense.

  20. #20
    Aramas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    2,264
    Mentioned
    126 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Enneagram duality is based on the natural instinct associated with the types.

    These groups belong together:
    258 - sp
    369 - so
    147 - sx

    Beyond that, the same stacking adds to duality. There's no need to invert or switch things around.

  21. #21
    chocolatte's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    TIM
    IEI 417
    Posts
    421
    Mentioned
    28 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aramas View Post
    Enneagram duality is based on the natural instinct associated with the types.

    These groups belong together:
    258 - sp
    369 - so
    147 - sx
    Where is this information from? It's very interesting.

  22. #22
    Aramas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    2,264
    Mentioned
    126 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    Where is this information from? It's very interesting.
    Tbh I just memorized it years ago. I don't know where I got it from. I'm sure I got it from somewhere online.

    Enneagram is very holographic. Patterns in patterns.

  23. #23

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-H 946
    Posts
    450
    Mentioned
    21 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Yeah that post caught my eye recently
    Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

  24. #24

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-H 946
    Posts
    450
    Mentioned
    21 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    There’s also the hornevian groups

    https://enneagramexplained.com/ennea...nevian-groups/
    Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

  25. #25
    myresearch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    606
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    There’s also the hornevian groups

    https://enneagramexplained.com/ennea...nevian-groups/
    Yes, there are also object relations:

    http://www.fitzel.ca/enneagram/Objec...20or%20touched.

    that's why OP think some types are more balanced, in fact, every theory is symmetrical, there are no balanced types.

  26. #26
    voider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    TIM
    SEE-H 2w3 so/sx
    Posts
    640
    Mentioned
    77 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I am 268 and find myself involved with 9s for the most part, which correlates with the original post. Hmm.

  27. #27

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-H 946
    Posts
    450
    Mentioned
    21 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I get on well with 268 in real life (and I’m e9)..and I remember enjoying some of your posts @voider. Coincidence? Haha
    Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

  28. #28
    myresearch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    606
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by voider View Post
    I am 268 and find myself involved with 9s for the most part, which correlates with the original post. Hmm.
    9s are the easist enneagram type to get along to. I also find it easier to get interaction with them. I am 549 and I dont find myself get involved with assertive types (3,7,8) more than other ennegram types.

    268 has no e type falls into competency (1,3,5), withdrawn (4,5,9), frustration(1,4,7).

    For example, when 268 has a relation with 926, they could ofcourse get along. However, how they would support each other in competency and frustration department?

    I dont think this is duality.
    Last edited by myresearch; 03-23-2021 at 03:06 PM.

  29. #29
    Outlier's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    कलियुग
    TIM
    ILI-C
    Posts
    2,467
    Mentioned
    98 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think a e2 would make most sense for me. I usually attract e4's cuz the attention I can provide is like a laser to a moth. But I'm going to let go of trying to control every aspect and have some of that understanding I'll hand out so readily in return. Try it out for size.
    "The society that separates its scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting by fools." ―Thucydides

  30. #30

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-H 946
    Posts
    450
    Mentioned
    21 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Ok so even though I do get on with 268s..I’m not sure I could see myself with one, as a couple. 847, 836, 845 seem better..or an e3. 7s...well they are attractive (a 749, cute..) but are 7s too similar to e9s?
    @myresearch btw I have a 549 friend and although we get on, it has an off/on quality to it. It’s like we’re too similar.

    I’m not sure the enneagram duals in the article actually would work in reality (for duals at least). I think they work for friendship or non dual relationships or less serious romantic relationships.
    Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

  31. #31
    voider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    TIM
    SEE-H 2w3 so/sx
    Posts
    640
    Mentioned
    77 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Yes, @myresearch I guess you're right, it's not really "duality" as much as it is general compatibility, and probably on surface level at that.

  32. #32
    FreelancePoliceman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Maizistan
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    2,039
    Mentioned
    173 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    The Enneagram describes neuroses. You shouldn't be seeking out any particular e-type, but someone who tries not to appear like any e-type.

  33. #33
    myresearch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    606
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    Ok so even though I do get on with 268s..I’m not sure I could see myself with one, as a couple. 847, 836, 845 seem better..or an e3. 7s...well they are attractive (a 749, cute..) but are 7s too similar to e9s?
    @myresearch btw I have a 549 friend and although we get on, it has an off/on quality to it. It’s like we’re too similar.

    I’m not sure the enneagram duals in the article actually would work in reality (for duals at least). I think they work for friendship or non dual relationships or less serious romantic relationships.

    Two of my oldest friends (LSI and IEE) have 147 tritype in different order, they are also friends with each other. IEE's boyfriend is SEI 954 and they are dating for years. He is nice and I relate to him a lot, although, we are similar I am drawn to 147 much more due to our differences.

    Looking at my past relations and my friend's relations, I see that we are drawn to people who have triple condition in different triads. For example, I have triple condition (triple withdrawn type- 459) in hornevian triad, I am drawn to people who have triple condition in harmonic (135, 279,468) and object relations group(258, 147, 369). Because they are only exteremly bad in one area like me unlike double conditioned ones who are bad (but not bad as much as triple types) at multiple areas.

    For example, 468 (triple reactive) types can have problem with dealing things, problems without reacting to it, which comes easy to me to control that area. It is easy for them to control where I lack, since they can be assertive, compliant or withdrawn and know how and when to move towards, away or against people.

    People who double condition are more drawn to people who have double condition in other areas. For example, based on your own tritype (469), you can easily support and get supported by 127, 358, 368, 359, 458 as you mentioned some. If we were to cherry pick, we could order these according to your own tritype and socio type etc.

    Some triple conditioned people (351, 378, 258) can also provide support and get supported by you but there might be less understanding between you compared to types listed above.

    @voider 268 type would support and get supported by 125, 145, 146, 379, 458 (in different orders). Also would support and get supported by triple conditioned 459, 147, 135 types. I dont know if these types resonates with you or not.
    Last edited by myresearch; 03-27-2021 at 08:06 PM.

  34. #34
    voider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    TIM
    SEE-H 2w3 so/sx
    Posts
    640
    Mentioned
    77 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    @myresearch I like 379, 458, 459. The ones with 1 are on thin ice, and if they're 1 core I'm never going to date them. Too rigid for me, lol.

  35. #35

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-H 946
    Posts
    450
    Mentioned
    21 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Ok so maybe it’s possible, that as a 9, I’m compatible with Estp 8s, 3s and 7s. But I’m thinking that I am probably compatible with more 8s than I am 7s or 3s..as a generalisation. They need to be 8ish maybe. (This is partly based on 7s not seeming interested in me (although they have been in the past), 8s feeling more ‘right’ as opposed to 7s who seem ‘exciting’ and partly based on observations of a few couples).


    I think you can see tritype and instincts as measuring how much of the socionics functions we use..And you need someone who compliments your function ‘measurements’.


    If I look at people of same tritypes, sometimes their personalities seem so similar. Same mannerisms, similar appearance, similar facial expression/way of expressing themselves..it’s actually amazing to notice it. Like we are all works of art reflecting each other.


    Re instincts, I can also think of one other social 9 person I know, and even with them, they have similar mannerisms to me. We both don’t stop laughing


    It’s nice when you can spot your tritype or instinct reflected in someone else- it makes you appreciate yourself.
    Last edited by Bethany; 03-23-2021 at 06:53 PM.
    Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

  36. #36
    myresearch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    606
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by voider View Post
    @myresearch I like 379, 458, 459. The ones with 1 are on thin ice, and if they're 1 core I'm never going to date them. Too rigid for me, lol.
    lol I figured but they were the types that get corresponded, I asked just in case.

  37. #37

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-H 946
    Posts
    450
    Mentioned
    21 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    @myresearch great post, I need to get my head round it..
    Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

  38. #38
    flowers and sugar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    Location
    Stairway to Heaven
    TIM
    Sniffing flower type
    Posts
    199
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    The Enneagram describes neuroses. You shouldn't be seeking out any particular e-type, but someone who tries not to appear like any e-type.
    I met a woman who was a 2 in her integrating process, I know she was because she described previous behaviors which sounded heavy 8 disintegration.
    It was beautiful to witness.

  39. #39
    myresearch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    606
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    Ok so maybe it’s possible, that as a 9, I’m compatible with Estp 8s, 3s and 7s. But I’m thinking that I am probably compatible with more 8s than I am 7s or 3s..as a generalisation. They need to be 8ish maybe. (This is partly based on 7s not seeming interested in me (although they have been in the past), 8s feeling more ‘right’ as opposed to 7s who seem ‘exciting’ and partly based on observations of a few couples).


    I think you can see tritype and instincts as measuring how much of the socionics functions we use..And you need someone who compliments your function ‘measurements’.


    If I look at people of same tritypes, sometimes their personalities seem so similar. Same mannerisms, similar appearance, similar facial expression/way of expressing themselves..it’s actually amazing to notice it. Like we are all works of art reflecting each other.


    Re instincts, I can also think of one other social 9 person I know, and even with them, they have similar mannerisms to me. We both don’t stop laughing


    It’s nice when you can spot your tritype or instinct reflected in someone else- it makes you appreciate yourself.
    Definitely there are other factors that affect this. Some e types cant get along with other e types, since you are e9 that isnt a problem for you Ofcourse, your socio type makes things more selective.

    If we want to combine enneagram and sociotype, for example, there is a slim chance to come across to a SLE with 127 or 359 tritype. SLEs would be more likely 358, 368> 458, 478. So your dual is probably 853, 835, 863, 836, 683, 638.

    Besides all of this, I also like to observe the similarity even if people have very different socio types. For example 417 IEE and 147 LSI are very different in every aspect, but they are such an idealist, although they actualize their own idealism in different areas and ways. The main structure/skeleton is the same, it is truly like a work of art as you well put it.

  40. #40

    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    TIM
    IEI-Ni 7w6 ELVF
    Posts
    19
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Do we really can find enneagram duality? Good to remind why even ennea was created:
    Oscar Ichazo: spirituality - getting ride of your ego. Find your ego fixations, understand them and free yourself. You are number but should be not.
    Claudio Naranjo: science, but let be real - it ended as pseudoscience (what we, jung community, love the most <3). He adapted teaching of Ichazo (ignoring the core of it) and sold them without his permission to USA.
    Palmer, Riso, etc (most popular) - money. Enneagram Manual: "What animal/celebrity/number are you?" CHECK IT OUT NOW!

    In pure enneagram teaching, you are supposed to get yourself free from your number, not embrace it. There is no place for duality.
    From my perspective: we can talk about ennea duality only if its connected with other pseudoscience systems. For example (Socionic):
    As a merry 7, I cannot see myself with 1. There is no trust and respect here. No trust: I would be manipulative (trying to destroy her ego - what she belive is right and wrong; with my demonstrative Fi, I can even be succesfull here). No respect: she would despise my hedonism and rejection of social values.
    Trying to picture 7 ENTp (Fi-polr) man with 1 woman is even more crazy.
    So:
    Merry 7 (A lot of ENTp, ESTp; sometimes ISFp, INFp): 1 will end as disaster
    Serious 7 (A lot of ENFp, ESFp; sometimes ISTp): 1 is rational/good/right/accepted/fair/divinechoice

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •