Any observations you have on 4w3 Sx/Sp would be appreciated
4w3 Sx/Sp
Any observations you have on 4w3 Sx/Sp would be appreciated
C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479
It's better if you have a topic or specific questions, I could go on forever otherwiseOriginally Posted by Shaebette
Any observations you have on 4w3 Sx/Sp would be appreciated
@Ghost I wouldn't mind if you went on forever
Last edited by Shytan; 03-04-2017 at 07:59 AM.
C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479
They sound a little hellish to me.
Actually I know a EII girl 4w3, we've been friends since kids but I really dont like a lot of her traits. I dont like so much 4 in general, because of drama,envy, holding grudges and lack of personality (specially 3), and with 3 is all of that plus a need for approval, a wish for stand out and project a certain image of themselves and copycat tendencies...if you add Sx/sp well, these traits are stronger and often hyper sexualized...I personally think that its not a good type match. Of course I dont think that everything is bad, I mean, they can be good friends if they want to, they are prone to support and help others whenever they can, they make social connections and develop intimacy. But I think that maturity and growth is needed for their development (as with every type of course). I dont think that they are bad people, I think that they have a good heart but often is messy. I dont like them so much, not because they are bad people, but because they are kinda annoying if they arent mature enough.
Last edited by Hope; 06-14-2017 at 08:33 PM.
"All nations will place their hope in him."
(Mt 12:21)
So a core thing for sx 4 is competition.. I'm competitive of all areas of life that involve people.obviously the main thing is jealousy in relationships, and that's a thing that annoy me the most. Always scared of being left for someone else. Also, competitive with partners.. like if they've had more experiences in sex or romance (mainly sex) like more partners, or done crazy or fucked up things I havent it bugs me alot and I cant let it rest. 4s always try to find things that hurt them. I try to not ask my partners about their sexual/romantic past because it just bugs me so much, but I have tortured myself in the past with asking more and more ,and i do sometimes now too.
Im also jealous with friends.. if im close to someone and consider them "mine" (not as much with friends because im soc last and partners matters the most) and then they like someone i dont, or someone else is trying to come closer to my friend i get a litte mad about that. Especially with guy friends if they show any sign of appreciation for other girls i dont like i confront them about it.
And, about the mentioning of crazy and fucked up, i see being seen as crazy and fucked up good because that makes me memorable and stick out to my partners. I want to have an imprint on them forever. I have never been able to have a 'clean break' because I'm like "either we are together or we are nothing" and they usually want to keep some sort of contact, for some reason. And im just really bad with breakups because i cling to what i cant have. So theres a huge internal conflict when getting rejected because I can only accept all or nothing but i desperately need them and i go back and forth between spewing hateful shit at them and apologizing and seeing them as ideals, but when this doesnt get a good enough response i go back to hate.
Last edited by maniac; 03-04-2017 at 07:15 PM.
@Shaebette , you think you are one, or is this inquiry about another person?
@mcclane I AM one. I just want to see what shared traits we have.h
C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479
@Ghost Yes yes! I totally relate to the competitiveness. Also, I'm really possessive of my partners even when we're not together. Like, I do that push pull thing when I make my partner and I take a break by starting a fight. Then I try and lure him back in some sort of way. So during that period I'm extra stalkerish and possessive. For example, I had broken up with my current boyfriend and swore to moving on until I saw him follow his ex on Instagram(i'd been jealous of his ex because she wanted him back) so I sent him a screenshot and said something corny like "Stopped this low huh?" and blocked him. That also happens with an LSI that I was sleeping with but not in a relationship with. After I made him like me and have feelings for me despite having a girlfriend (there's something about a guy who's unavailable that's so attractive, and fucked up), I didn't want to continue sleeping with him after I had 'conquered' him. Instead, I wanted my ex boyfriend back but I still wanted the LSI to always give me attention and still have feelings for me. So anytime he'd get interested in another girl, I'd pop back into his life and be who he wanted in a girl and make him have feelings for me again.
I do know that Sx/sps are very sensual in an untouchable way and this is very attractive for some people.
In other aspects, are they more likely to be ambitious or successful?
C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479
...
Last edited by Shytan; 03-09-2017 at 12:14 PM.
C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479
What specific behaviour or tendencies made you conclude or classify it as 'drama' and 'envy' because I don't think we would outwardly show our envy.They sound a little hellish for me.
Actually I know a EII girl 4w3, we've been friends since kids but I really dont like a lot of her traits. I dont like so much 4 because of drama,envy, holding grudges and lack of personality, and with 3 is all of that plus a need for approval, a wish for stand out and project a certain image of themselves and copycat tendencies...if you add Sx/sp well, these traits are stronger and often hyper sexualized...I personally think that its not a good type match. Of course I dont think that everything is bad, I mean, they can be good friends if they want to, they are prone to support and help others whenever they can, they make social connections and develop intimacy. But I think that maturity and growth is needed for their development (as with every type of course). I dont think that they are bad people, I think that they have a good heart but often is messy. I dont like them so much, not because they are bad people, but because they are kinda annoying if they arent mature enough.
C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479
But anyways I think the longing is easily heavily implied in how she said she still wants attention from them and how she wants unavailable guys, etc. Also I'd expect 4w3 to either be much less obvious about melancholy or much more depending on health level, tritype, etc. They are either more outwardly dramatic than 4w5s or much less but the point is that they're much more engaging to the outside world regardless of how they go about it (by blending in more and being more positive and hiding behind the 3 wing more or using the added extraversion to express more).
･ﾟ*✧ 𝓘 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉 𝒶 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝓘 𝒹𝑜 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝑒 ✧*:･ﾟ
There's a 4-ish and 6-ish component to this but it really just sounds like bpd (borderline personality disorder) to me, idealizing and devaluing. Definitely not characteristic of healthy 4.
･ﾟ*✧ 𝓘 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉 𝒶 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝓘 𝒹𝑜 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝑒 ✧*:･ﾟ
Talking about my EII friend, she was specially dramatical in some ways since she was very young.
It was her way to attract or get attention from others, specially adults (and her way to make others doing what she wanted sometimes).
F.e. On other kids birthday parties, she locked herself in the bathroom and refuse to leave until all the party was stopped and the adults were all paying attention to her, asking her to leave the bathroom were she was crying inside. The motives of this was when she felt offended, like when another kids didn't want to do something that she wanted (borrowing toys etc).
She pretty much kept doing this until highschool at least, (crying on parties and stuff like that, I mean). If it wasn't drama Idk what else it can be.
About envy, she accepted with me (I said that we were old friends) that she was envious. And even when she didn't, it was blatantly obvious (for those who knew her in detail). She did a lot of things. From sleeping with friend's exes, to stealing others style (hair, outfits), to feeling completely bad about herself because her sisters were prettier than her.
That 2 things were pretty much what ruined our friendship. Besides that, she's fun and witty, and as I said, she can gives support and be a loyal friend. But the thing is that drama (I mean making scenes) was their way to call for attention and demand love, and her envy was a deep root on her life and it was really uncomfortable at times (like she doing certain out of place comments).
Last edited by Hope; 06-15-2017 at 04:26 AM.
Hm this reminds me of an Sx/Sp counterphobic 6 guy I knew. He was very unhealthy. He'd talk about killing his crush and bathing in her blood...as a joke? He was a misogynist, how he talked about women, geez. He said the worst things about them. He hated women, but he loved them at the same time, so he was pretty conflicted about it all. He was also jealous about the fact she was likely seeing another guy, so he wanted to hurt her as some revenge or something. I don't think he was really serious about it (that was his way of "venting") , but yeah... Unhealthy SX people can get crazy like that... I would not say it is just a Type 4 thing.
ENFP 4w3 478 here to answer!
Hi there!Any observations you have on 4w3 Sx/Sp would be appreciated
im going to be honest, I had a lot of challenges growing up. Many people would make me feel like something is wrong with me and I was constantly trying to suppress who I am. Now that I’m older, I can look back and realize most of these people just really didn’t understand me and so they would constantly try to change me. This created a very dark world for me. I retreated and found an escape in my artistic create works (music, dancing, singing, songwriting, acting) or even binge watching tv for months if I was really depressed.
I think what really saved me was my constant hope and inability and unwillingness to give up on finding inner piece and happiness and accomplishing my dreams.
Some of the descriptions below by other users break my heart a bit, because I can see where they are coming from. I had to do a really huge amount of inner work to really understand myself well enough so I could transform into who I am now.
I truly believe that if you are constantly told something is wrong with you, and everyone is trying to change you because they don’t understanding you or aren’t able to see the big picture, that would be hard on anyone and only worsted their flaws.
A lot of people think they are being helpful, when I’m reality they are only making things worst. We feel very intensely. The pain HURTS and even physicalizes itself. Because we are already very analytical and perfectionists in a way, we are very aware of our short comings and can easily get lost in them without the right support. We are already hard on ourselves so we don’t need that from others. What we need is just love, support, and gentle confrontation not harsh.
I did an extreme anoint of research (on all angles - first hand by going out into the world and conducting my own observations - also from research by other psychologists and the MBTI / enneagrams also helped a lot. I also found self hypnosis (aka guided meditation) and yoga to be very powerful. Moreover I also took free courses on positive psychology, neuroscience, changing your thoughts patterns etc. I also learned as much as I could from other any chance I got. Etc etc etc. I just didn’t stop until I learned how to have healthy relationships in my life and found inner peace etc)
What happens, is most people will have friends and family who can notice their strengths, weaknesses and recognize what they need. It’s easy to offer the right support and advice to someone who is easy for you to understand. Most people don’t need to learn so much about themselves because others can help them with that. Unfortunately, if you are a more complex individual, you get used to people not really knowing how to help you in ways that actually will help. When you realize this, you become defensive and argumentative to protect yourself. It’s hard to know who is going to be giving you helpful tips and whose going to give you tips that you already know will only make things worst because you’ve tried listening to this advice before and it caused more harm then good etc. I’ve learned that I’m just wired differently so it’s my responsibility to learn what works for me and not to ask others too often. When I trust myself, things actually finally turn out amazing!
The more I know myself, the better I can communicate and accurately represent myself to others and get more positive results I’ve always hoped for. The more I trust myself as opposed to others, the more they trust me and even actually like me. I feel like I have no choice but to succeed independently, have inner piece and do things my way. Surprisingly this is when people really like me and when I have the best relationships and build close friendships. People feel inspired being around me, and appreciate my strength, resilience and tenacity. Because I learned to embrace myself, others now do to. I’ve accomplished becoming a healthy version of my personality and that took me 29 years and a lot of hard work.
Because I feel so secure in myself, I can be happy for others when they succeed and are happy without feeling worst for myself. I can actually date without it stressing me out.
haha I will mention however, I am not liking how easily people give up on relationships. If I meet someone where everything falls into place I’m all in. My relationship is #1. If we are compatible, want the same things out of life, have a natural chemistry and humour that matches, amazing attraction and everything just falls into place - dude why would you throw it all away because it’s not the right time.. ugh. If you really want to see a healthy 4w3 478 sx/sp in love let me tell you. I tried everything under the sun so see if we could maybe make it work and how I can offer support. Then when we realized it really wasn’t good timing, I told him very clearly to call me when he’s ready. 3x. Im case I am available. And I am still hopeful. Im suppose I to move on so I’m meeting people but he’s always going to have a piece of my heart. Im just not able to accept or understand how anyone could or would ever throw this kind of rare thing away. Im pretty sure his first one is sp. that’s what he’s focused on right now.
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