Member Questionnaire 1 (kymera)
What is beauty? What is love? Beauty is when you like the form in which something presents, often but not always coinciding with general principles of aesthetics like symmetry and certain ratios between elements. Other times more subjective, personal principles of aesthetics apply for each individual. It is usually understood as referring to the concrete, physical world, but can also describe more abstract domains ('the beauty of a theory').
Love - the way I understand it, there are two different emotions that are collectively referred to as 'love', although they are quite different. The first one is infatuation, the strong sensation of falling in love, which is eventually transient but very intense. The other one is attachment, a long-term commitment to someone we've been in close positive contact for a longer time. Many times, attachment follows after the initial infatuation and that creates a committed relationship. Both types are mediated by chemical substances in the brain (albeit in different ways).
What are your most important values? I've been asking myself that for a long time and haven't yet figured out any set of values that I would not at some point discard just to get things going my way or simply for the fun of not being constrained by anything. I do try and respect the 'not doing harm unless done harm' policy, but there were times when I went and did just that so I'm a bit confused on the whole topic. If there are values that are very important to me, I cannot word them right now.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place? I don't have spiritual or religious beliefs. I cannot make myself believe in something that's clearly invented by people to appease various psychological or emotional frustrations. If you trace religion back to its infancy people were staring at the moon believing it to be a deity, it's hard to give any credit to the subsequent supernatural explanations people have given to various natural phenomena.
As for what concerns spirituality, I'm not sure how to understand it, I have trouble defining it in my mind. It seems abstract and personal and as if again people are explaining something natural like self-awareness with supernatural concepts like spirit or soul. Not to mention, to me, claiming someone is 'a spiritual person' sounds like a pompous brag of sorts as if that someone believes they're somehow a more profound person leading a more meaningful existence.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you? Power to me is the ability to reach one's goals. It can be physical, technical, social, psychological etc. It's not an absolute characteristic either (no characteristic is absolute in my opinion), meaning no one is powerful 'in general', but it's more of a situational trait, depending on the circumstances and personal abilities of dealing with them successfully.
War and militaries - just a consequence of how evolution got us to where we are, competing and fighting for each square meter. Funny enough they bring along so much insecurity, but also without them we cannot have security either. And unfortunately in the wrong hands (and most of them are in the wrong hands), they can lead us to an early end. Somehow the human race managed to have too much knowledge and too little wisdom, thus creating lethal weapons that can actually wipe us off the planet. Very close to self-destruction.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why? To be honest I haven't had a decent, interesting conversation in a very long time. It's all been about about the nitty gritty of everyday life. I remember I used to enjoy talking about myself, my ideas, understanding of various things, philosophy topics, humorous banter etc. I like people asking me questions about myself or analyzing my personality (maybe that's why I'm doing this questionnaire). I have few friends so I don't get to talk that much.
Many of my interests revolve around understanding the world and how it works. I have a strong interest in knowing the human body so I have a solid knowledge of medicine (pathology, pharmacology, medical imaging, physical therapy etc), biology, anatomy, genetics - all unrelated to my actual job which is not something I'm passionate about. I also like psychology and natural sciences in general. Sociology too. I follow politics. Also I have a more unusual hobby of smelling and collecting perfumes and have amassed a rather large collection in the last 5 years. What else - fashion and design are enjoyable, I like studying colors, shapes, textures and the way they go together to create various effects.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body? Like previously stated, I do have an lifelong interest in these aspects. And I'm good at it, I can feel my body well and feel how it works and what it needs. I am focused on my physical self a lot - a bit obsessed with it. I create various 'projects' for myself, like exercise routines and diets and such. I diagnose myself and others with great accuracy based on symptoms and tests. I treat myself most of the time and many times do it better than doctors. I interpret my own bloodwork, x-ray, ultrasounds etc. Also I do not believe in naturopathic / homeopathic medicine and prefer to study actual peer-reviewed medical studies when doing my research.
What do you think of daily chores? I find them mostly boring and find it hard to mobilize and do them. I will do them when push comes to shove though. In our house my (male) partner is the one who does much (probably most) of the housework since I'm so incredibly lazy and can take a lot of messiness before being bothered. I will help out when being asked. But I don't enjoy it.
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome. Books - I enjoy horror, scifi and thriller such as books by Stephen King and stuff like The Exorcist. I did read more 'serious' books like Dostoievsky for example but it wasn't really my style (excessively detailed, depressing, etc). I also enjoy reading non fiction books, probably the overwhelming majority of the material I've read was non fiction.
Movies, I like many genres (comedy, drama, horror, scifi, mystery, animation etc) but avoid musicals and old black and white movies, for some reason the former annoy me and the latter I can't focus on and end up sleeping or doing something else. I also avoid action movies because they often have these overly simplistic stupid scripts. Movies I like: Donnie Darko, Contact, The Others, Back to the Future, K-Pax, Primal Fear, American Beauty, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Requiem for a Dream, Leon, Fight Club, Kill Bill, Alien(s), Schindler's List, etc.
Series - Breaking Bad, X-Files, Seinfeld, Family Guy, etc.
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why? Cry - frustration. When things don't go my way. When I don't get what I want. Sometimes a tearjerker movie will make me choke up but I don't actually go on to cry.
Smile - I smile often. Even when I'm angry a good joke or a funny comment will make me laugh or smile. Also many times I'm almost stuck with smiling socially, especially in unfamiliar situations with unfamiliar people. I find it very hard not to smile because I don't know what else to do (socially) and I'm afraid I will come off as being weird and that's more trouble for me so I will just act friendly even when I'm not. However when annoyed or pushed this friendly politeness disappears very fast and makes room for a very blunt and aggressive response. Which is probably also weird.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging? At home I feel pretty good. Also when I'm with my partner. I feel comfortable with him and don't have that feeling that I need to get away and be alone like I get with almost everyone else, except very rarely.
I do not feel a part of anything really (as in 'belonging') - I don't feel like a part of my city, country, political party, other group etc. I don't have any such particular loyalties or affiliations. I find them restrictive. After all I need to be able to move freely - physically, socially, mentally and don't want to be stuck in some belief or group. Most of my loyalties are to myself I guess.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself? Others have commented negatively on my inability to be sociable and keep in contact with people, my self-involvement and lack of interest towards others. Also laziness has shown up in complaints. Being too aggressive, careless, messy, .
What I dislike about myself - I actually don't dislike anything in particular. I accept myself as I am and don't see any particular weaknesses that I would change. I do sometimes wish I was more energetic and motivated to accomplish more things. Although I do find motivation for things that are important to me, I lack motivation on things that are viewed as important by other people in general (career, money, success for example).
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself? Those closest to me think I'm a great consultant on practical matters such as procedures and technical stuff. Many have come to me for information on various subjects, but especially medical issues. So knowledge / competence is one. Other strengths - intelligence, being logical, reasonable, persistent on things that I care about (I asked, I'm not bragging - I'll brag on the second part of the question
).
What I like about myself - that I am flexible and that I can find a way to do the things that many people say can't be done. That I can rely on myself to understand things better than others and find solutions for myself that work better than whatever else is available. Other less important stuff I like about myself - that I have good taste, a cunning mind, no self-traps like morals, that I can see clearly through a situation and make the rational decision and never have to regret it later like other people tend to do. I like that I am resilient and can snap back from even very strong blows. That I will never give up on myself and I will keep on trying to make things good for myself.
I could use someone who is more social to help me make contact with people because I kind of miss it but I'm not very good at it and find it tiring to keep track of relationships and be attentive towards people. I wish someone would manage my social life so I'm just there to have the fun, make jokes and enjoy myself. And if this someone is really good at keeping me social, I could even show my natural more cynical face and no one would be (that) bothered. I used to have a friend like this but she left the country a long time ago.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it. Yes, I have. Usually it is a lack of motivation - I was not inspired to do anything. I didn't have any goal or purpose at the time and actually my biggest problem is not having the motivation to do the things I want (that I do have), but actually finding things that I want. My biggest issue ever. I rarely want more than to just feel good. So I often slip into just staying at home on the couch watching tv or playing games and shopping online for nice things. And that can go on for days and weeks at a time.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with? I like people who are a lot like me but also a bit different. Who think like me, but also add something new, like new ideas, new hobbies, etc. that I might like or like to try. People who raise my curiosity, my interest to do new things and then feel enriched afterwards. I also like people who are smart, competent and who care about the facts and about how things fit together logically. Illogical, flimsy people bore and annoy me. For relationships especially I like honest and loyal people, more empathetic than me if possible. I also like modest people who do not show off not think of themselves as better than others (even if they are in my opinion). Those are the best.
I don't know what 'types' I get along with... as in Socionics types? Apparently I get along great with the Delta quadra (they're down to earth, rational people with a wonderful temperament even when they're temperamental), terrible with ESE, ESI (especially when telling me what to do, please get out of my ass). Many Betas annoy me but some Betas I also find very inspirational and admire. Gammas is a hit or miss, they are more aggressive and they stimulate my aggression towards them in return. Alphas seem a little too naive overall. A minority of them is brilliant though.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner? Romance came hard to me as a teenager. I found it very hard to approach people I liked - I would mess it up or misread them. I'd be too direct and aggressive, or too aloof and invisible (at least that's how it seemed). I'd get obsessed with various boys and couldn't let them know how I felt, was terrible. So frustrating. I spent a lot of time having imaginary relationships with actors and such. When I was around 20 I met my current partner who was a lot like me and didn't mind me asking him out. It was all so suddenly easy.
Qualities I look for - the same as the previous question
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why? Funny enough it happens that I am starting to raise a child right now (3 months old) and I'm starting to think about my main concerns... and they are physical safety and comfort, emotional stability and mental stimulation (lots of play time, games, discovering the world should be fun). Basically this.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction? I usually don't want to listen to different beliefs than my own, and the more different they are the less I enjoy listening to them and the people who have them. I guess this happens to everyone, I don't know. I usually don't say anything to the person but I judge them internally (as being an idiot for example). I don't feel I need to correct how other people think, you can't teach someone how to think and also I don't think everyone should have the same beliefs as I do. More so I don't care about changing people. I will simply take them or leave them as they are.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one. I have a difficult relationship to society. I resist social customs and traditions that don't make sense to me. I can get into arguments with people because I do not act and feel as they do and I have my own thinking. I have a difficult dynamic in groups, I oppose the general trend, challenge the leader, etc. I'm a non-conformist. Of course if and only if it's in my best interest, I can fake accord with a group but only for so long, until I get whatever I am after. Most of the time I avoid groups and society and don't care to know what they think about me and don't need them to tell me how to live my life.
Prevalent social problems? Group thinking. Manipulation. Suggestibility. Intolerance.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them? I don't really choose friends. I don't really have many friends. I have avoided friendships with others because I didn't like them, but I never actually started a friendship myself. The only relationships I started were sexual/romantic and that was because I was in love (so practically chemical reactions in the brain were changing my usual behavior). How I behave around friends? I guess I'm relaxed, friendly, I make jokes, I'm playful.
How do you behave around strangers? I usually start out as politely friendly, at least until I figure out if these people may be useful to me or until they manage to annoy me in some way.
Member Questionnaire (kymera)
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Originally Posted by Mori
