How does age affect Intertype Relations?

[Iwantpeace]

How does age affect Intertype Relations?

[Beautiful sky]

Except for factual and experiencial knowledge it makes no difference

[Aylen]

I used to be hard on my little sister, (ese) , when we were younger. When she moved in with me she was hating me and we argued a lot. She was mid teens at the time and going through teen heartache over a boy. She didn't want to hear anything like, "this too shall pass" kind of stuff. As we got older I started to realize that I should be treating her with more respect. I admire her energy and spirit so I let her know it. I made a conscious effort to do that. I love her so much. When I think of the things she has accomplished I feel so much "wow" for her.

When she asks me for advice now I try to keep it down to earth. Things she can relate to. She doesn't scoff at any unfavorable predictions my EII sister and I give her anymore but we all know she sees those things as challenges to be met and overcome. My EII sister and I contemplate more than act. She is a doer. If I am objective about it, I am in awe of how she is so integrated in reality. Sometimes I wish she would listen more about possible consequences of her actions but that is because I love her and don't want to see her hurt or disappointed. The three us are at that point where we accept we are different and we have our own paths to walk in life. We are very close.

Edit: I think what made it worse for her, moving in with me in her teens, is that my bf was her conflictor. There was tension because I always felt put in the middle.

[Cosmic Teapot]

Except for factually accumulated knowledge it makes no difference

I think in terms of (emotional) maturity it does.


I find it easy to talk to other ESI, but when they are much younger than me they share worldviews and values that are not "complete" or developed. They seem more strict and unforgiving. That can make communication difficult. (Though I feel sympathy)


My father is SLE. Supervisor-relationships are ...uncomfortable, And in situations where I was treated unfairly I could not do anything, because I was too young and therefore not in the position to be taken seriously by any Adult. (And I thought because I am younger he must be right about everything).
So it depends on the context.

[Adam Strange]

Honestly, I don't think age affects intertype relations, as long as the people are old enough, and mentally healthy enough, to have a type.

[Beautiful sky]

I think in terms of (emotional) maturity it does.


I find it easy to talk to other ESI, but when they are much younger than me they share worldviews and values that are not "complete" or developed. They seem more strict and unforgiving. That can make communication difficult. (Though I feel sympathy)


My father is SLE. Supervisor-relationships are ...uncomfortable, And in situations where I was treated unfairly I could not do anything, because I was too young and therefore not in the position to be taken seriously by any Adult. (And I thought because I am younger he must be right about everything).
So it depends on the context.

Yes I agree that emotional development is important

[Exodus]

Age itself doesn't have an effect. Social status / influence is a much bigger factor (which is tied to age to some degree).

[Adam Strange]

Age itself doesn't have an effect. Social status / influence is a much bigger factor (which is tied to age to some degree).

Social status and influence are not things with which socionics is directly concerned. They do affect the social and power aspects of a relationship, but that is true for any type and any two individuals. They are not directly type-related.

When I first discovered socionics, I had never considered a dual for a relationship (I had only considered Thinking types), and I tried to meet some to find out what they are like. Unfortunately, the first people that I identified as duals were two females about 23 and 19 years old. Nevertheless, we "dualized", in the sense that I felt incredibly comfortable and mentally healthy when talking with them, and it's not just because I'm extremely immature. The dualization was real, and both duals felt it, too. The 23 yo ESI-Fi even suggested we get an apt together, "because she was tired of paying rent." I look about 10 years younger than I am, so I said "Do you know how old I am? I'm old enough to be your father." When I told her that, and showed her my driver's license with my date of birth on it to prove it to her, she said she had been joking, and perhaps she had been. But there is no doubt in my mind that she liked me. I liked her, too, but the age gap just made that a really bad idea.

The other one, the ESI-Se, would have been marriage material if we were within eight years of age. Either her older, or me younger, I don't care. Intelligence, economic potentials, social interests, instincts, and attractiveness were a match. Age was a disaster.

I have since met an ESI-Se IRL who is 37, and an ESI-? IRL who is also mid-thirties (I think), but none yet who have all three characteristics of "within that eight year limit", intelligence match, and social status. They seem to get married and stay married. Dammit.

I'm presently making up a theory about why duals can communicate so well and are so inclined to support each other, and it has to do with the fact that the DS function is basically operating at the level of an infant and is ignored most of the time by the rest of the psyche. When it talks to a dual, it is learning from a competent and sympathetic adult, who's own DS function is also learning from a competent and sympathetic adult. And who doesn't like to learn without criticism and be shown by example how to grow?

[FDG]

I noticed in myself that as I got older my only closer friends are those from my quadra. Previously I used to hang out with lots of betas to go for a brawl, get in trouble, etc etc

[Exodus]

Social status and influence are not things with which socionics is directly concerned. They do affect the social and power aspects of a relationship, but that is true for any type and any two individuals. They are not directly type-related.

...I didn't say they were type-related?

[Rebelondeck]

Maturity and experience, which usually comes with age, definitely does affect intertype relationships. As most age, they focus less on physical attraction and more on the personality so are more likely to see duals as partners. However, much older people are usually far more tolerant of the behaviour of others (many aren't) even though they may be more set in their ways so information processing would likely be less of a factor for them. The gulf between generations is so vast (even though it may not be all that apparent for some) that type would be nowhere on the Richter scale.

a.k.a. I/O

[Chae]

Age itself doesn't have an effect. Social status / influence is a much bigger factor (which is tied to age to some degree).

Age could be more of a factor in Ne-Si couples, status is not too important. Status and influence is a Se-Ni axis thing, influence more than status unless we talk Beta, hence age is secondary. Either way, a more privileged sensory partner for the intuitive counterpart seems to be beneficial? What do you think?

[Exodus]

Age could be more of a factor in Ne-Si couples, status is not too important. Status and influence is a Se-Ni axis thing, influence more than status unless we talk Beta, hence age is secondary. Either way, a more privileged sensory partner for the intuitive counterpart seems to be beneficial? What do you think?

Theoretically an Se leading type would expect a dominant role in the relationship. But in practice gender roles come into play, so it gets complicated. Of all the Se ego types, ESI females seem to be the most content to take a more submissive role.

[Adam Strange]

Theoretically an Se leading type would expect a dominant role in the relationship. But in practice gender roles come into play, so it gets complicated. Of all the Se ego types, ESI females seem to be the most content to take a more submissive role.

In my limited experience, I think this is true, although "submissive" in the context of Se egos is still more assertive than most other types. I found myself butting heads with both ESI's and LSI's almost all the time. Like, sometimes they would yield and sometimes they wouldn't, and vice-versa. They are just at a higher level of assertiveness than most other types. The relations of LIE-ESI and LIE-LSI are very close to relationships where both people have equal power.

For me, this takes some getting used to, but I actually prefer it.

[Exodus]

In my limited experience, I think this is true, although "submissive" in the context of Se egos is still more assertive than most other types. I found myself butting heads with both ESI's and LSI's almost all the time. Like, sometimes they would yield and sometimes they wouldn't, and vice-versa. They are just at a higher level of assertiveness than most other types. The relations of LIE-ESI and LIE-LSI are very close to relationships where both people have equal power.

Yes that's true. Gamma SFs are good at seeming helpless or weak when they are actually in control (as much as they want to be anyways).

[Pookie]

With age people get better with their auxiliary elements. That could make a difference. An 8 year old Te base isnt going to hit my PolR hard enough to matter.

[FDG]

Theoretically an Se leading type would expect a dominant role in the relationship. But in practice gender roles come into play, so it gets complicated. Of all the Se ego types, ESI females seem to be the most content to take a more submissive role.

Well ESIs are still Fi dom IxFx types. Socionics assigns too much weight to Se se as function.

[FDG]

This is interesting to me because the SEE and ESI truly do seem weak sometimes...its hard to spot the Se in the esi. They almost seem like EII until you see their artwork or hear about hobbies.

You mention Se leading being dominant are Se creative dominant in relationships as well?

I think you are basically right, although there are some ESI who are fairly stern and straightforward (but they tend to mellow a lot with age), especially at work and/or with people they don't know well. They're Fi dom so yes they're very similar to EIIs.

[Suzaku]

I think you are basically right, although there are some ESI who are fairly stern and straightforward (but they tend to mellow a lot with age), especially at work and/or with people they don't know well. They're Fi dom so yes they're very similar to EIIs.

I'm ESI and I can be out-right crude/abrasive. I've been told sometimes my mouth shoots daggers. But it mostly happens when someone is actually summing me up to be incompetent. Then I tear them down.

[Exodus]

You mention Se leading being dominant are Se creative dominant in relationships as well?

Like I was saying, it varies a lot.

Well ESIs are still Fi dom IxFx types. Socionics assigns too much weight to Se se as function.

I'm not sure what you're trying to say here.

[Alomoes]

Some people use age to justify superiority. This goes in all ways, with a kid showing subserviance to an adult for example. If the person acquiesces, then a hierarchy is formed. Really, though, it is simply an excuse that has some credibility in biology.

There are other people who do not care about age as stated.