Ok so yes maybe people get into relationships with non-dual types at a young age, feeling drawn to them by passion or curiosity. And then maybe later some naturally move on to a dual who feels like a tamer, safer version of their exes.
Maybe duals, semi-duals, look-a-likes, super-ego do feel like the safer bet in the end, compared to whatever relationship comes before. Or people end up with mirror or activity because it feels misleadingly safe due to shared interests/feelings of friendship.
Originally Posted by Rebelondeck
Ok but I’m sure some couples do break up because they feel too young to commit, even if the relationship is solid. I am wondering which ITR are the ones which are hard to start or don't last (maybe it’s the same question). I’m curious which ITR are the most common for marriage I guess. Even though I think I agree with your ordering for the strength of ITR. It would be interesting to know how it compares to the statistical reality of marriages or long term relationships. Or hear from anyone’s anecdotal evidence. Look-a-like partners seem more common than kindred for example. Maybe there are only a few ITR which truly stand out as the most common (look-a-likes, duals, activity, mirrors, super-ego, maybe semi-duals and supervision). I think it is common for kindred pairs to have some trust issues and semi-duals seem to be more attractive than illusionary from what I've read on here. But I agree that all of these ITR have a lot of potential. (Kindred, illusionary, semi-duals). I couldn't see myself with a IEE although I agree that a good one could be a decent partner. I'm just wondering if in reality, these types would often find a reason to separate after a while of being together.
And yes trying not to fall for the images atm. Although I did have to figure out how to spot a compatible subtype/lack of subtype to be able to do this. I think that’s helpful.
Regarding friendships, I became friends with people of same temperament in my teens, but didn’t become closer with them til a few years later. My closest friend in primary school was an LSI. I thought maybe the friendship was strong because of the thing you said before about children seeming to be unsettled on j/p temperament. So maybe in a way she was like an SLI. Although maybe the friendship simply worked well in a school context and we naturally clicked. Friendships certainly seemed easier as a child or young person, but maybe that was just me or like you say, the lack of having to work on something together/ make compromises. Still, I’m wondering if communication is easier at a young age (under 25) because your type isn’t settled, even simply in a superficial way. Also, I feel like I used to get on better with my little brother who is LSI when he was a kid
I probably do miss having close NF friendships if I’m honest. Generally, from my observations look-a-like, mirrors and quasi-identical seem the most common for adult friendships. As for mirrors, EIEs have the same fantastical sense of hopefulness as I do, for someone who’s had a rubbish past I think that can be a nice thing to share. Just this week I had a long convo with an EIE colleague. It was nice to forget the boring, depressing reality of life and indulge in talking about our dreams and pick apart our emotions in a way that felt quite cathartic. The EJ temperament felt nice too, because she doesn’t fixate on every little thing I say but also listens. She is really young though
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