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Thread: How long did it take you to figure out your Enneagram type?

  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scarlett View Post
    Because 8w7 and 8w9 are different.
    So let's just compare the wings 7 and 9 here, because we know they both are enneagram 8. Both are action oriented. Both trust their anger. Both like power.

    But the 8w7 is aimed at freedom, hence the wings 7.
    They wanna be free to do what they wanna do, and want others around them to be free to do what they wanna do as well.
    They believe that this eventually provides peace. They don't want anyone applying constraints on anyone's behaviour. They're more vocal, opinionated, aggressive.

    And the 8w9 is aimed at peace, hence the wings 9.
    We want the environment to be peaceful and everyone to feel at ease.
    We believe that this environment eventually brings freedom. So we let things go until lines are crossed, then we will crush you. We're more laid lack and protective, very sensitive to the issue of boundaries. Something like "Stay out of my business, and I’ll stay out of yours."
    Yes, your 8w7 description fits me well. I want my freedom and I’m sensitive to even slight intrusions on it. I’m not sure it brings peace. There is no peace, there is only cessation of warfare.

    Your description of 8w9 might be good, I don’t know. It seems a foolish way to live to me. Things could get out of hand. I think it’s important to monitor other people’s business. To thoroughly understand it. Not to interfere, but rather to anticipate.
    I have prediction matrices around everyone I know.

    Incidentally, I’m just downloading my thoughts here without filters. I do that sometimes, particularly with other LIE’s. When you play chess, everyone can see the pieces. It doesn’t change the game.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 01-19-2021 at 07:32 AM.

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    pretty much immediately. That is, when I really started paying attention to it. I had glossed over it out of curiosity before, and almost always got enneagram 4 in test results. With tri-type, it took me a while because I wasn't sure on my head fix. Now that I know, it's very clear but at the time vague tritype descriptions didn't help lol. Instincts took me about a year because I automatically discounted SX first because they were supposed to 1) aggressive 2) very attractive and attract people without even trying and 3) exude sex and charm. It was some oddly romanticized version of the type that I to this day do not connect with, but the descriptions had plenty of Fe in it. And with 4's focus on authenticity, I was automatically put off by the "fakeness" if you will, of that.


    Then about a year later another SX 4 I had been speaking with pointed out what had been my obvious primary instinct or "neurosis" all along.


    this is very redundant, but gosh yes, this is exactly how I felt when I read those sex sex sex SX descriptions:


    "deal with or describe in an idealized or unrealistic fashion; make (something) seem better or more appealing than it really is."


    People do not realize how miserable or ugly this can actually be. At least what I have read on online forums. I feel more drawn to reality as it actually is/ "authentic."

    It is easy for the primary instinct to backfire, turn "ugly" so to speak, because of the emphasis and value put on it to succeed.
    Last edited by asd; 01-19-2021 at 07:54 AM.

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    i know some ppl with obvious types. their 9 or 4 or 8 is just caricature-like.

    I still don't get what my type is.

    I've had a lot of maybes over the years: 5w6, 1w2, 6w7, 7w6, 3....I dunno.

    I keep getting typed as sx/so.

    That stacking, along with high stress jobs/life prolly makes my type difficult to pick out.

    All the descriptions Gulenko, Aushra, et al. have for ENTjs include the aspects I was seeing as indicative of certain plausible enneatypes for me, so I don't know anymore.


    I know I'm not as 9 as my ex, not as 8 as my friends, and not as 4 as my family member.
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    I still haven't figured out my tritype but figuring out my main type didn't take very long, was a matter of deciding between 6w5 and 1w9 and 6w5 was clearly it. Considered 5w6 and 9w1 shortly but those aren't me at all so very short considerations. With instincts, my being sp first is a no brainer, never had to even think about it. Now whether I'm sp/sx or sp/so took years to figure out but at this point I'm pretty certain it's sp/sx

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    I knew my enneagram immediately. There is just no way for me to be anything other than 5w6. I read the other descriptions and the accuracy is not even 50%, while for 5w6 it checks everything.

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    Cool it with the anti-Grenitic remarks bucko! Grendel's Avatar
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    quickly; what others notice here is uniform

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    Quote Originally Posted by LemurianLo View Post
    Now whether I'm sp/sx or sp/so took years to figure out but at this point I'm pretty certain it's sp/sx
    I'm trying to figure out the same. How did you do?
    I rarely feel alone. I rarely talk to anyone, yet in my head i have the most amazing, the most fantastic discussions with the people in my life. In real life, what most people talk about is several orders of magnitude lesser than their inner experiences. Most people never reveal the singularity of their subjective experience.
    Maybe I should learn to explore other people's consciousness. Maybe I should aim for a real space between me and others. Instead of cultivating monologues and fantasies. It's hard, but the alternative to this seems to be madness. ~ lkdhf qkb

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    Quote Originally Posted by lkdhf qkb View Post
    I'm trying to figure out the same. How did you do?
    Don't have anything helpful to say about it, I just kept reviewing my interactions and motivations with others and it increasingly became clearer that I lean more towards spsx over spso.

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    Sort of like the cartoon version of SLE’s is gas-station robber and rapist.
    lmao. How is it so cartoony though when it has a lot of realism to it?


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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post


    lmao. How is it so cartoony though when it has a lot of realism to it?

    It does have some realism to it, but it's not their most common mode of operation. I don't think that any of the SLE's on the forum are robbing gas stations at gunpoint.

    On the other hand, we haven't heard from @niffer recently. She might be a one-woman crime wave across the Pacific Rim for all we know.

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    Well @Adam Strange - I don't think it really applies to female SLEs. I think niffer might be LIE anyway, I always thought that. Or she's just kinda LIE-ish for a SLE.

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    It was instantaneous but also took years at the same time. What I mean by this, is that I immediately felt a strange connection to type 7 right off the bat, even when I was severely depressed at my time of discovering enneagram and looked nothing like the standard 7 should. But I read up on a few of the other types more and overthinked it like I normally do. I am still aware of the possibility that I might not actually be a 7 after all so I try not to put too much emphasis on it. Other types I have tried on were 5w6 (yes lol), 4w5, 4w3, 3w4, 9w8, 6w7, 2w3... that probably covers it. Some of those I clung on to more than others and as you can see there was a lot of heart triad identification in particular, which you would not expect from a 7. If I look back at my childhood, though, my biggest nuisance in life was the feeling of boredom that I often fell victim to. And it wasn’t just your everyday boredom, it was sheer emptiness and pain at its worst and it always controlled me. I was a sociable kid who was utterly hooked on anything that would take away that feeling, and I was always looking to have fun. I’m clearly a more complex person at this stage in my life, but none of those things about me ever changed.

    What I AM 100% confident in is my Sx/So stacking: there is no doubt lurking there. I have reached the conclusion that enneagram really starts to work its magic when you stop taking it so seriously.
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall
    Everyone, pls give Bled some likes. He craves the likes much like Suedehead craves the cock.
    7w6 2w3 8w9 - The Free Spirit

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    Quote Originally Posted by flames View Post
    It was instantaneous but also took years at the same time. What I mean by this, is that I immediately felt a strange connection to type 7 right off the bat, even when I was severely depressed at my time of discovering enneagram and looked nothing like the standard 7 should. But I read up on a few of the other types more and overthinked it like I normally do. I am still aware of the possibility that I might not actually be a 7 after all so I try not to put too much emphasis on it. Other types I have tried on were 5w6 (yes lol), 4w5, 4w3, 3w4, 9w8, 6w7, 2w3... that probably covers it. Some of those I clung on to more than others and as you can see there was a lot of heart triad identification in particular, which you would not expect from a 7. If I look back at my childhood, though, my biggest nuisance in life was the feeling of boredom that I often fell victim to. And it wasn’t just your everyday boredom, it was sheer emptiness and pain at its worst and it always controlled me. I was a sociable kid who was utterly hooked on anything that would take away that feeling, and I was always looking to have fun. I’m clearly a more complex person at this stage in my life, but none of those things about me ever changed.

    What I AM 100% confident in is my Sx/So stacking: there is no doubt lurking there. I have reached the conclusion that enneagram really starts to work its magic when you stop taking it so seriously.
    yeah ur not a 7
    ~ ESTP ~ SLE ~ 7w8 ~ Sp/Sx ~ Fire ~ Aries ~ Beta ~ Gryffindor ~ Summer ~ SLUEN ~

  14. #54
    stare into me flames's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    yeah ur not a 7
    I don’t think anything really fits me 100% for that matter.
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall
    Everyone, pls give Bled some likes. He craves the likes much like Suedehead craves the cock.
    7w6 2w3 8w9 - The Free Spirit

  15. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by flames View Post
    I don’t think anything really fits me 100% for that matter.
    @flames thinking you could be a 3w4 imo
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    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    @flames thinking you could be a 3w4 imo
    Oh, what makes you think so? I can buy it for sure. I would just have to be a very unsuccessful one. (But there have been times in my life where I was adequately successful, I guess)
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall
    Everyone, pls give Bled some likes. He craves the likes much like Suedehead craves the cock.
    7w6 2w3 8w9 - The Free Spirit

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    Quote Originally Posted by flames View Post
    Oh, what makes you think so? I can buy it for sure. I would just have to be a very unsuccessful one. (But there have been times in my life where I was adequately successful, I guess)
    lol well do you relate more to seven here in this comparison 7 vs 3 https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/m...ifying-3-and-7

    it sounds like they can look similar at certain levels
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    Quote Originally Posted by flames View Post
    I don’t think anything really fits me 100% for that matter.
    yeah ur speshul
    ~ ESTP ~ SLE ~ 7w8 ~ Sp/Sx ~ Fire ~ Aries ~ Beta ~ Gryffindor ~ Summer ~ SLUEN ~

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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    yeah ur speshul
    lol no, I hate the whole special snowflake caricature (a lot of 4s can suck my dick). When I said that I was more speaking from my realization that my type might be less clear than someone else’s due to my circumstances and mental illness, etc. I’m not unique in this aspect.
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall
    Everyone, pls give Bled some likes. He craves the likes much like Suedehead craves the cock.
    7w6 2w3 8w9 - The Free Spirit

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    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    lol well do you relate more to seven here in this comparison 7 vs 3 https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/m...ifying-3-and-7

    it sounds like they can look similar at certain levels
    I’ve seen this before. Truth be told, I relate to pieces of both enough that I could argue either way. I don’t find it necessary to solve it right now but I may return to the subject later.
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall
    Everyone, pls give Bled some likes. He craves the likes much like Suedehead craves the cock.
    7w6 2w3 8w9 - The Free Spirit

  21. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by flames View Post
    I’ve seen this before. Truth be told, I relate to pieces of both enough that I could argue either way. I don’t find it necessary to solve it right now but I may return to the subject later.
    lol it’s all good. I understand. I figured you’d prob seen it before.. I just asked because you do seem to care about your image that seems more image tried thing, from what you said. and you seem more extroverted, and 4’s are generally more introverted. 3 is the more extroverted type.


    The thing about feeling negative emotion vs wanting to escape is, at one point, if you want to live, you have to distract yourself. Because once you start dwelling in that negative emotion and it keeps pulling you down and down, it can seem like there is only one way out, and it’s not pretty. I’ve been there several times and if you don’t want to self destruct and keep living you have to learn coping mechanisms. You have to read a book to escape or watch a funny movie or do something fun with friends. Because if you stay home dwelling in the dark place, well... let’s not go there. this is kind of why I think I’m not a 9. I’m not afraid of my emotions and tend to embrace the negative ones. But I know if I want to live, I have to stop and one point. And I’ve learned ways of pulling me out of it, which seems 9’ish, I guess. Tbh, I didn’t think I’d make it to my 30’s in my teens. I thought I’d end up OD’ing in my early 20’s. I wasn’t on a good path. My husband is really the only reason I’m not dead. Because he told me when I was being a dumbass and playing with Fire to my face, in not a pretty way, but not to the point where I felt terribly restricted, so I ended up stopping on my own. Many 4’s commit suicide. Were they looking at a way out from their negative emotion because they couldn’t take it anymore? Does that make them not a 4?

    anyway, whenever you want to talk about it, I’ll be here
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    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    My husband is really the only reason I’m not dead.
    To stay you alive contributed anything what was useful or pleasant, including done by many people.

    Where people with who you communicate the most, for example as your pair and others in a family, affect strongly on your emotional state. When you feel good or bad - those people are among main reasons, and how we deal with them. Main part of life's pleasure and suffering goes from relations and actions with other people. It's doubtful to feel happy when you do not perceive yourself as loved and loving, as humans psyche is collective. And the most pain we remember from events with people, not from physical traumas or diseases.

    When you long feel good or bad emotional state - people near you affected on this much, including the husband. By what they did and did not. It's also your pair's duty so you'd feel good, including emotionally. With other people near you'd could to feel significantly differently - better or worse.
    When you choose a pair with a small attention to mutual personal sympathy - it's hard to feel emotionally good in such relations, as you are among personally alien people who do not give what you want the most. It's useless to try compensate this by material things and by mental distractions. It can be compensated in communications with other people which are more appropriate for you, or somehow to change your relations with those who are near already closer to friendship relations - when you have more what you do together and like how you do that.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    @Sol I know you are trying to ‘help’ but I don’t think you understand my situation. you don’t know the details of my life, and if I told you, you’d probably ignore them anyway and insist your theory is right. I’ve been seeing a clinical therapist and a psychiatrist. your arm chair psychology isn’t really helping. it just feels like gas lighting.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nobody View Post
    When I found out about tritype and the Head, Heart, Gut triads. Then it was easier to paint a more complete picture.
    Same.

    I was initially typed as 9 by some people here who probably didn't know what they were doing. Then I did some in-person test at a socionics meet-up and got 5, which makes a lot more sense in general.

    1 seems like a decent alternative but I prefer to think of it as a strong fix.

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    Same.

    I was initially typed as 9 by some people here who probably didn't know what they were doing. Then I did some in-person test at a socionics meet-up and got 5, which makes a lot more sense in general.

    1 seems like a decent alternative but I prefer to think of it as a strong fix.
    Are LIIs with ennea 9 even common?

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Are LIIs with ennea 9 even common?
    My opinion is that the alignment of Sociotypes and enneatypes is best in the LII e5 categories. Like, 99.44% overlap with no loose ends.


    LIE's overlap with e3 and e8, ESE's are pretty much all e2, ILI's are e5 and e1, LSI's are mostly e5 but with some e9 and e6, and so on, but LII seems to be made for e5.

    Incidentally, @one, this chart shows that female e5's typically marry male e1's, but I do know one LII-LII couple. Very well off, one is in computer science, the other is a chemist in the drug field, with a huge designer house, every toy you can imagine, and no kids.

    https://www.9types.com/writeup/ennea...ationships.php

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    My opinion is that the alignment of Sociotypes and enneatypes is best in the LII e5 categories. Like, 99.44% overlap with no loose ends.


    LIE's overlap with e3 and e8, ESE's are pretty much all e2, ILI's are e5 and e1, LSI's are mostly e5 but with some e9 and e6, and so on, but LII seems to be made for e5.

    Incidentally, @one, this chart shows that female e5's typically marry male e1's, but I do know one LII-LII couple. Very well off, one is in computer science, the other is a chemist in the drug field, with a huge designer house, every toy you can imagine, and no kids.

    https://www.9types.com/writeup/ennea...ationships.php
    Wait, this makes sense, I actually don't want a kid.

    But why did you show this, just why! If I'm not LII then maybe ILI but either way I already had an idea of marrying an SF and removed all extra info and feelings towards people I know, this changes EVERYTHING lol. Anyway thanks a lot.

    Do you think enneagram has more weight than socionics? I guess there won't be much competition if the partners with the same types are in different fields, but who would even pick up the slack in S and F matters? Pretty sure they would seek it eventually.

    But I did read that duals are not created equal, iirc ESE-LII is one of the difficult pairs. So, I guess it's better to get non-dual partner and hire someone else to supply the missing functions?

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Are LIIs with ennea 9 even common?
    impossible
    ~ ESTP ~ SLE ~ 7w8 ~ Sp/Sx ~ Fire ~ Aries ~ Beta ~ Gryffindor ~ Summer ~ SLUEN ~

  29. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Are LIIs with ennea 9 even common?
    After reading a book (I no longer remember) that explained each enneatype and their motivations and how they contrast with each other, along with anecdotes and stories about the different types, I realized I didn't have the 5 core motivation, even though 5 made superficial sense. I did have the 9 core motivation, even though it's not really a cool thing to identify with.

    To paraphrase what I remember about the book:
    Basically 5 was described as a kind of metaphorical child with overbearing parents that gave the child everything they wanted, except space and freedom. So a 5 kind of seeks an independence not out of fear of being weak and defenseless or out of some kind of fear of being deprived or anything like that, but to be able to do their own thing. They want independence.
    9 was described as someone having a natural oversensitivity to things. They will feel negative and positive experiences with greater magnitudes, rather than something more balanced. Creates a fear of being overwhelmed and a person that will use things like entertainment, drugs, alcohol, dissociation, etc. as a form of escape. And schizoid and avoidant personality "disorders" were mentioned here as well.

    So with that said, I do believe I am LII and 9 and see this more as an Si problem personally.
    But the problem with this not being "common" seems to be a problem with typology communities in general and probably is a lot more common than realized. For some reason a lot of self-described "T"s like to correlate their shitty behavior as T or seem to think that if someone is a bit sensitive, they can't be T either. It's just simply not true though, no matter how easy it might be to think that makes sense, even if it does make a lot of sense for them.

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  30. #70
    thehotelambush's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Are LIIs with ennea 9 even common?
    I'm probably not the right person to ask but it seems so. Theoretically 5 fits the 4D TiNi but 9 can fit any type with high priority on Si to an extent. Some say that LII 9s are actually more common than LII 5s, I don't know enough to comment on that.

  31. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    lol it’s all good. I understand. I figured you’d prob seen it before.. I just asked because you do seem to care about your image that seems more image tried thing, from what you said. and you seem more extroverted, and 4’s are generally more introverted. 3 is the more extroverted type.


    The thing about feeling negative emotion vs wanting to escape is, at one point, if you want to live, you have to distract yourself. Because once you start dwelling in that negative emotion and it keeps pulling you down and down, it can seem like there is only one way out, and it’s not pretty. I’ve been there several times and if you don’t want to self destruct and keep living you have to learn coping mechanisms. You have to read a book to escape or watch a funny movie or do something fun with friends. Because if you stay home dwelling in the dark place, well... let’s not go there. this is kind of why I think I’m not a 9. I’m not afraid of my emotions and tend to embrace the negative ones. But I know if I want to live, I have to stop and one point. And I’ve learned ways of pulling me out of it, which seems 9’ish, I guess. Tbh, I didn’t think I’d make it to my 30’s in my teens. I thought I’d end up OD’ing in my early 20’s. I wasn’t on a good path. My husband is really the only reason I’m not dead. Because he told me when I was being a dumbass and playing with Fire to my face, in not a pretty way, but not to the point where I felt terribly restricted, so I ended up stopping on my own. Many 4’s commit suicide. Were they looking at a way out from their negative emotion because they couldn’t take it anymore? Does that make them not a 4?

    anyway, whenever you want to talk about it, I’ll be here
    I agree that I am an extrovert or at least identify as one. Even when it is not always so obvious. You can ask one person how they perceive me and they would describe me as shy, distant and mysterious but you could ask the very next person and they would describe me as talkative, lively, dramatic. It all depends on what point of time they met me because my entire outward character changes all the time. But I simply cannot survive on my own. I need to be around people all the time or as much as possible - I don’t just feel this way, I quite literally live it. I was rarely caught home except for some nights of sleeping there and mornings spent being properly fed but those were more like attempts to show I’m still alive and having interest in being alive. What was I doing in all that time away from home? Hanging out with people. Engaging in outside activities. I am still human, I have times I need to recharge in isolation and react aggressively to its disruption, but my need for people is almost an incurable sickness.

    I embrace negative emotions sometimes - I like to pull as much fun from them as I try to with everything else. Drama with other people is especially wickedly fulfilling. I have thrived off drama in my immature years. I like the futile apologies and reconciliations after the messes just as much. I like anything that will win love from others. I like anything that’s cosmically entertaining. I have wanted to kill myself. I know the single track mind in doomed scenarios. I have actually OD’d before.
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



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  32. #72
    saskiaza21's Avatar
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    I ever mistyped to be 4w5 , coz i was emotional. But my motivation isn't be unique , my motivation is being safety like money , relationship , and safe place. I'm 6w7

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    It didn't took me a lot of time actually, understainding my core fear and motivation was pretty easy. I'm a 9w8 sp/sx. I'm still not sure about my trytipe but I lean to 947.

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