Your parent's types

[Xima]

My mom is a clear cut ESE. I type my dad as LSI, but he really could be SLI.

[Aramas]

Mom is EIE-Ni, Dad is SLE-Ti

How does it feel to be a Delta in a beta household?

[Megatrop]

My dad is LSI (only second alternative typing is LSE, pretty sure he's a STj type).
My mom is a SF, and probably a p type, most likely SEI.

But I haven't pondered about their types too much.

[Aramas]

Haha it's kinda ridiculous. Prior to learning about Socionics, I was convinced that I had gone through some kind of emotional neglect/abuse growing up. I still did (esp. with my dad), but it was interesting to discover that in many ways they just couldn't meet my needs.

My mom used me for emotional processing from a young age--she's very much of the mind that her children are her best friends, which isn't healthy for either party. That's how her mom has been with her. But her narcissistic tendencies are only exacerbated by that, and she's very sensitive so it's difficult to provide real feedback about this or anything else. One thing I remember distinctly was coming home from college for the first time and being so excited to see her and everyone else; I was so happy and verbally expressed this, but she wasn't nearly as excited. It may just have been one of her moods, but her not being willing to meet where I was at, despite the fact that I go along with her Fe needs and provide emotional support all the time, kinda crushed me. I often felt very "put-upon" as well--like being told to come listen to what happened with her family when I had my own emotional day at school.

My dad was very pushy about my sports performance as a kid, and the pressure he put on me and some of my siblings was a lot to deal with. He had/has severe anger issues in general too though, especially when challenged--and so he could really verbally unload on us. Also, this was more when I was a kid, but his Ti schedules and need for orderliness used to irk me a lot.

But growing up in a Beta household taught me all of the things I don't want to be as a parent. I never want to yell at someone ever again after having been screamed at so much for standing up to my dad as a teenager (in an Fi way when his Se would go way too far). My parents' super authoritarian nature makes me want to be as understanding as possible with others. Also, when I have kids, I want to be understanding of them as their own people, rather than extensions of myself. Especially when it comes to political and religious views, my parents take it as a severe threat that I don't totally line up with how they see politics (they have no idea the extent though), and would react the same way with how I see religion. But this just results in me not being able to share myself with them and a one-sided relationship, and I would hate if my kids felt the same way about me. Of course, most of these are traits that I think Deltas would want to avoid anyways, but when you experience those behaviors first-hand, it solidifies your desire to be a better person than that (imho).

I'm curious though, how has it been for you?

Neither one of my parents was healthy even for betas. Dad especially has a lot of problems. You're right about the yelling thing, and the political and religious differences. I don't really want kids at all. Maybe that was due to my childhood, but maybe not. I gain satisfaction more from hobbies and personal interests. I don't feel like spending time and energy on kids.

It was really easy to piss them off. Could hardly speak without offending them. To me they always seemed like frustrated perfectionists too.

[Lolita]

Mom: SEE-D
Dad: LSI-N
Supervision.

I also had very long relationships with LSIs.

[Disturbed]

Mom ESI-Fi, Dad EIE-Ni.

Mom's mom, ESI-Fi, Mom's dad EIE-Ni.

Dad's mom EIE-Ni, Dad's dad LSI-Se.

Dad's mom's mom Beta ST creative function subtype, Dad's mom's dad EIE-Ni.

I fucking HATE being the ethical subtype. The ESI-Se has it so much easier, can make tons of money without having to bust their ass, isn't anywhere near as OCD, is way more gentle and well-coordinated, doesn't require as much control, can have the relationships they want, have better Fi, Ti, Si, Ni, Ne, Se, and Fe, and is so much smarter and more original and more beautiful, isn't anywhere near as self-conscious nor as neurotic in any other way, not anywhere near as needy yet has better social skills anyway and can get out of what they don't want to do.

[eiemo]

Mother - SEI-Si
Father: LSE-Si
Sister: SEE-Se

[PinKDiGiT18]

Mom is ILI-Te, I’m thinking dad is most likely SLI-Si. I didn’t grow up with him. They can’t interact without arguing, which can be comical but not really.

[eiemo]

Mother - SEI-Si
Father: LSE-Si
Sister: SEE-Se

I am rethinking their types at the moment... I don't think that I typed ANY of them correctly, LOL.

[Stray Cat]

Dad - ILI-Te
Mom - ESE-Si

[ashlesha]

Aww you got mine right <3
I forgive u for the creepiness because I believe u were genuinely motivated by Science

[Beautiful sky]

My parents humoured me by independently taking tests to find their socionics type.

mother - ESI
father - LSE

The typings seem correct. Many moons ago we took the MBTI test and scored ISTJ ... !

How do they get along?

[Sanguine Miasma]

Dad - ILI-Te
Mom - ESE-Si

Is this relation the source of cream pie comedies?

[PinKDiGiT18]

Dad - ILI-Te
Mom - ESE-Si

Ouch. my mom is ILI-Te and I was raised by her and my ESE-Fe grandma. in theory the subtypes of your parents make them more compatible, but man, conflict is often UGLY when they live together.

on another note, i see ILIs gravitating toward ESEs very often, more often than other conflictor pairs. I wonder why this is.

[Stray Cat]

Ouch. my mom is ILI-Te and I was raised by her and my ESE-Fe grandma. in theory the subtypes of your parents make them more compatible, but man, conflict is often UGLY when they live together.

on another note, i see ILIs gravitating toward ESEs very often, more often than other conflictor pairs. I wonder why this is.

My dad chose my mom believing she'd help look after my grandma (his mother) in her old age & also that my mom would support him (my dad) while he got his business started.

My dad's polr is Fe, his DS is Se. My mom's strong in both. Not gonna bad-mouth my parents, I'll just recommend people use wisdom when choosing a partner

Appreciate you sharing your personal story, btw

[Beautiful sky]

Ouch. my mom is ILI-Te and I was raised by her and my ESE-Fe grandma. in theory the subtypes of your parents make them more compatible, but man, conflict is often UGLY when they live together.

on another note, i see ILIs gravitating toward ESEs very often, more often than other conflictor pairs. I wonder why this is.

My ILI brother just married an ESE (his second marriage)

[necrosebud]

Dad: ILI (Ni)-ND 1 sp/sx
Mom: SEI (Fe) - NH 2 sp/so

im not really attached to either of them

[PinKDiGiT18]

My ILI brother just married an ESE (his second marriage)

[PinKDiGiT18]

ILI-SEI

im not really attached to either of them

what has your experience been having a beneficiary as a parent?

[necrosebud]

what has your experience been having a beneficiary as a parent?

I seem to have started disliking him more recently
seems to underestimate me
zones out when I use Ne, which is always
does not really know who I am, and when I tell him, attempts to overwrite with his own Ni theory/vision

:/

[necrosebud]

Oops talked about benefactor instead, always mix them up
I like my mom more in some ways but it’s subtle

[Poptart]

ILI mom, ILE dad. Due to my mom’s Fi HA/excessive boundary setting they haven’t spoken in like 20 years lol.

[PinKDiGiT18]

ILI mom, ILE dad. Due to my mom’s Fi HA/excessive boundary setting they haven’t spoken in like 20 years lol.

this is an interesting one, a dual parent and a superego parent. what was that like for you? did you get along with your dad better than your mom?

[Poptart]

this is an interesting one, a dual parent and a superego parent. what was that like for you? did you get along with your dad better than your mom?

It’s not really a fair comparison since my mom did most of the child raising.

[thistle]

@Beautiful sky,

since you asked - They have their ups and downs.

The thing that distresses me the most about their ITR is that mum will shut herself in a room and swallow her feelings of being unappreciated, of being wrong/bad at something, rather than voice anything to my dad. She will press on with housework without complaint, to avoid contact. Dad will wonder why she opts to be "anti-social", but he won't investigate what could have led up to that.

On the other hand, mum is extremely stubborn and will become exhausted and ill before asking for help. I see in my dad's body language that he's rather alone, deflated, when mum turns down his offers to ease her workload around the home. Luckily dad has other "outlets" e.g. physical work (outdoors); things that my mother is too frail to manage on her own.

Of course, all decisions relating to finances or even their daily activities are controlled by my dad. He chooses, plans and has the final say. If it weren't for my dad's need to tick activities from a bucket list and travel abroad I doubt my mum would want such a lifestyle for herself. She doesn't seem to like being uprooted; says she does not need "treats", or vacations. What is the point of all that inconvenience and having to mingle with strangers, she says.

They remain together for 35+ years, even with their misunderstandings.

Sorry for going overboard with the description, I suppose it's hard to explain their dynamic without providing some background...
(which does seem like getting things off my chest. Huh. Feels wrong somehow )

[Sol]

ILI-SEI

It's the most rare IR to make stable pairs and hence low possible.
I recommend to give them not a long test to get other possible types. One dichotomy may change IR to positive/neutral what has more chance to be true.

SLI mother, most likely IEI father. You can guess what happened.

what happened: they wanted to born you so much that ignored Socionics
[types mb other easily]

My ILI brother just married an ESE (his second marriage)

ew... you should understand that the chance of a mistake is higher when you suppose so bad IR of people who agree to marry. if they'll stay for >5 years without clear emotional or relations problems - the mistake is almost not doubtful

Is this relation the source of cream pie comedies?

The experience of very good and very bad IR in significant feelings is among reasons of the interest to Socionics. In my case, for example.
Comedies should be inspired by good IR. while bad IR may be behind horror genre stories.

[Giordano Bruno]

Mom = INFP 4w5 sp/sx, very thoughtful, restored in peace, banquets of random musing and exciting threads of branching off, silent, polarized, conflicted, much tension between desires, very self aware
Dad = ENTP 3w4, active, adventurous, curious, explorative, controlling, shape shifting, drama, feeling, interrogation, work oriented

[necrosebud]

It's the most rare IR to make stable pairs and hence low possible.
I recommend to give them not a long test to get other possible types. One dichotomy may change IR to positive/neutral what has more chance to be true.

they were arranged married and both are SP first