SEE/ESFp and ILI/INTp Duality? (Aggressor-Victim)

[faceonfire]

Earlier this year I had an experience pursuing an ILI for the first time. I'm still unsure why I'm meant to be into them romantically lmao.

The dynamic was pretty stereotypical. I honed in on her and made moves right away, reading her body language to judge how close I could get. The first night we met we were already cuddling and shit. I checked in with her frequently to be sure she was comfortable. At first it was going great. She was quirky, intelligent, and a total fucking nerd. Something about it's adorable to me. But then her shit Se and Fe caught up.

I tried to get her out into the world a lot, which didn't go well. We'd make plans and she'd just... not show up. Getting her moving was really hard. Because she didn't express much emotionally, I started getting the strangest mixed signals. We were really touchy and had some intimate moments, and I was trying to move closer and closer. She'd be very receptive to all my advances and let me take the lead, but wouldn't give indications she enjoyed our time together. I ended up feeling burned because she seemed to feel nothing, despite all my effort. Eventually I got properly turned down, and I can't lie, it pissed me off. Vindictiveness isn't always a good thing.

Whenever we were together I'd roast her to hell and back. Our dynamic was constantly putting the other down, which was pretty fun. She'd give me wandering predictions about my future and advise me to be cautious with my plans. I did appreciate her insight and forethought. She also could absorb information and explain things to me in straightforward terms, which made conversations good. No passion, no energy, but very smart and sober. She was always thinking about her future and making plans also, which I greatly appreciated. I need people who are going places. I do miss having her as a conversation partner.

Fucking weirdo.

[DELL]

^^^^

Yeah, this is a perfect example of what I was getting at, with @Adam Strange about the appeal of duality

Not sure what its like with the FI doms, but I too, am constantly reading the other person to see if they are as happy as I am, and I need that feedback! It seems a bit tough to get that with an FE polr, but maybe with time/maturity it works out.....
Despite the benefits of the match up, due to the reasons above, duality doesn't seem so appealing from the outside...

[faceonfire]

Yeah I struggle with Fe polr because I'm such an exuberant and emotional person. When they don't show anything it's frustrating and gets hard to read. I can tone myself down to match their level, and I don't push feelings on people, but I appreciate enthusiastic feedback. While ILIs have qualities I appreciate, they're not the most exciting people. I find myself craving a strong Ni and Te influence in my life, but romantically I'm more drawn to expressive and colorful people.

[Protozoa]

Earlier this year I had an experience pursuing an ILI for the first time. I'm still unsure why I'm meant to be into them romantically lmao.

The dynamic was pretty stereotypical. I honed in on her and made moves right away, reading her body language to judge how close I could get. The first night we met we were already cuddling and shit. I checked in with her frequently to be sure she was comfortable. At first it was going great. She was quirky, intelligent, and a total fucking nerd. Something about it's adorable to me. But then her shit Se and Fe caught up.

I tried to get her out into the world a lot, which didn't go well. We'd make plans and she'd just... not show up. Getting her moving was really hard. Because she didn't express much emotionally, I started getting the strangest mixed signals. We were really touchy and had some intimate moments, and I was trying to move closer and closer. She'd be very receptive to all my advances and let me take the lead, but wouldn't give indications she enjoyed our time together. I ended up feeling burned because she seemed to feel nothing, despite all my effort. Eventually I got properly turned down, and I can't lie, it pissed me off. Vindictiveness isn't always a good thing.

Whenever we were together I'd roast her to hell and back. Our dynamic was constantly putting the other down, which was pretty fun. She'd give me wandering predictions about my future and advise me to be cautious with my plans. I did appreciate her insight and forethought. She also could absorb information and explain things to me in straightforward terms, which made conversations good. No passion, no energy, but very smart and sober. She was always thinking about her future and making plans also, which I greatly appreciated. I need people who are going places. I do miss having her as a conversation partner.

Fucking weirdo.

It happens. I think neuroticism plays a bigger part in relationship dynamics. Socionics is more a "all things being equal" theory, which isn't always relevant. People still need to work on themselves before they can form positive relationships imo.