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Thread: Ask an SLE woman

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    Quote Originally Posted by nondescript View Post
    How shall I put it, let's see...

    1. Is it true that SLE are actually quite thin skinned due to that Fi PoLR?

    2. Do you have a lot of...khm /sniff "fun"(due to famous SLE "I don't care, let me conquer" attitude)?

    Well, you said ask and I took it to mean ANYTHING?
    1. yes
    2. yes

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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    1. yes
    2. yes
    Well, there's already one issue present that I see with your response to the initial inquiry "Is it true that SLE are thin skinned due to that Fi PoLR", which makes absolutely no sense considering the purpose that the vulnerable function serves in Model A. The vulnerable function is better known as the inept "blind-spot", something that we do not truly understand the point of and cannot adjust to it in a way that is acceptable to society. Instead of the "sore-spot" function, which is often the case of the pain brought with the suggestive function, especially if the need is not fulfilled - or in the case of the mobilizing function - where our attempts at growth in this function are often inappropriate and criticism in this area of the psyche often brings insecurity. The central difference is that the vulnerable function is something we are not skilled at all and do not care about whatsoever. The suggestive function is something that we do care about, but our attempts at using this function are very poor and we gain more pleasure if someone else is able to fulfill this for us and not improving this on our own. The mobilizing function is something that we regularly emphasize and try to improve on, but often results in proving ourselves in using this function and failing miserably. (The mobilizing function does in fact become stronger in adolescence with more experience and practice, while improving the suggestive function is more of a live-long process)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Avalonia View Post
    Well, there's already one issue present that I see with your response to the initial inquiry "Is it true that SLE are thin skinned due to that Fi PoLR", which makes absolutely no sense considering the purpose that the vulnerable function serves in Model A. The vulnerable function is better known as the inept "blind-spot", something that we do not truly understand the point of and cannot adjust to it in a way that is acceptable to society. Instead of the "sore-spot" function, which is often the case of the pain brought with the suggestive function, especially if the need is not fulfilled - or in the case of the mobilizing function - where our attempts at growth in this function are often inappropriate and criticism in this area of the psyche often brings insecurity. The central difference is that the vulnerable function is something we are not skilled at all and do not care about whatsoever. The suggestive function is something that we do care about, but our attempts at using this function are very poor and we gain more pleasure if someone else is able to fulfill this for us and not improving this on our own. The mobilizing function is something that we regularly emphasize and try to improve on, but often results in proving ourselves in using this function and failing miserably. (The mobilizing function does in fact become stronger in adolescence with more experience and practice, while improving the suggestive function is more of a live-long process)

    The resulting behaviour of Fi polrs creates the appearance that we are thin-skinned though.

    The PoLR isn't a complete void. It can still be accessed, just in a very hot and cold, or completely uncontrolled manner. I am not sure why you have added information about the suggestive. Actually, everything you presented here is basic knowledge and I'm not sure why you felt the need to add this.

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    From an "okay, this actually happens" level, are you sexually dominant or passive?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy8419 View Post
    From an "okay, this actually happens" level, are you sexually dominant or passive?
    Although I like to have some role in getting things going, I would say that I'm actually more passive.

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    @Avalonia

    By the way, your reaction to my post is a good example of a Te ignoring interpretation compared to a Te demonstrative one.

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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    Although I like to have some role in getting things going, I would say that I'm actually more passive.
    Just something I've been thinking about. Sex (male/female) isn't addressed in typology. IEI female is known to be the most sexually passive type, so just by straight logic, SLE should be the most dominant female type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy8419 View Post
    Just something I've been thinking about. Sex (male/female) isn't addressed in typology. IEI female is known to be the most sexually passive type, so just by straight logic, SLE should be the most dominant female type.
    Yes, this should make sense. Anyway, it's a known stereotype. If you subscribe to the idea of subtypes though, I would be considered to be the Ti subtype of SLE most likely, which would mean more of a boost in T and N and more subdued S and F, which would make me somewhat more victim-like than most aggressors.

    You asked about sex specifically, so I mostly tried to cover that type of situation in how I answered you. I would say that in the way I approach courtship overall, as well as my gender presentation, I am more masculine. It's just kind covert; I kind of go about it in a roundabout way. That's why I gravitate away from the term "dominant".

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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    @Avalonia

    By the way, your reaction to my post is a good example of a Te ignoring interpretation compared to a Te demonstrative one.
    Did you read what avalonia said?

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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    Yes, this should make sense. Anyway, it's a known stereotype. If you subscribe to the idea of subtypes though, I would be considered to be the Ti subtype of SLE most likely, which would mean more of a boost in T and N and more subdued S and F, which would make me somewhat more victim-like than most aggressors.

    You asked about sex specifically, so I mostly tried to cover that type of situation in how I answered you. I would say that in the way I approach courtship overall, as well as my gender presentation, I am more masculine. It's just kind covert; I kind of go about it in a roundabout way. That's why I gravitate away from the term "dominant".
    SLE-Ti subtype is meant to be kind of passive.

    Some of the passiveness of IEI might just be them being more selective.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Satan View Post
    Did you read what avalonia said?
    He/she said that you're LSI.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Satan View Post
    Did you read what avalonia said?
    His response was sort of textbook and it makes sense. He is also on JOA's team, team, if I remember correctly, and seems to know a lot about the theory.

    Niffer is female though and female SLE seem to be more in touch with their feelings, in general. It might have something to do with how females and males are encouraged or discouraged in certain areas during childhood.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung

     



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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    Yes, this should make sense. Anyway, it's a known stereotype. If you subscribe to the idea of subtypes though, I would be considered to be the Ti subtype of SLE most likely, which would mean more of a boost in T and N and more subdued S and F, which would make me somewhat more victim-like than most aggressors.

    You asked about sex specifically, so I mostly tried to cover that type of situation in how I answered you. I would say that in the way I approach courtship overall, as well as my gender presentation, I am more masculine. It's just kind covert; I kind of go about it in a roundabout way. That's why I gravitate away from the term "dominant".
    A lot of the "types" online treat "type" as a manifestation of their sexuality. SLE women online, for example, more often than not, tend to want to go at a dude from behind with accessories. IEI males online, tend to want such. More like treating the types as an excuse/reasoning for their gender inversion, rather than as simply being in a gradient within their own gender. E.g., SLE "normal" female should logically still be passive sexually, but on the very very low side, whereas the IEI "normal" female should be passive sexually, but on the "lives to get splayed" side (yes, that's an actual stereotype.)

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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    He/she said that you're LSI.
    Yeah, um, no. My mom is LSI as they come and they are not alike.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung

     



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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    Yeah, um, no. My mom is LSI as they come and they are not alike.
    Lol I'm keeping my opinion on him until I see him on video or photo or something.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    His response was sort of textbook and it makes sense. He is also on JOA's team, team, if I remember correctly, and seems to know a lot about the theory.

    Niffer is female though and female SLE seem to be more in touch with their feelings, in general. It might have something to do with how females and males are encouraged or discouraged in certain areas during childhood.
    @Satan @Avalonia

    Gender roles and society do have some impact on expression of behaviours. I, and other female SLEs, might behave in a less emotionally repressed way than male SLEs might. The thing is, that logically this only further highlights the fact that there is something behavioural (read: superficial or conditioned) going on which can obfuscate the internal characteristics of a person. Just because male SLEs may appear to be not thin-skinned, or have been conditioned to behave as if they aren't, doesn't mean they necessarily feel that way on the inside. Personally, I think that Fe mobilizing and Fi vulnerable are two sides of the same coin, as I've discussed in a previous response in this thread -- especially as it pertains to SLEs' emotionality and how it plays out in real time. This is why I take issue to @Avalonia 's comment on my thoughts on SLEs being thin-skinned as being incongruent with Model A somehow. My response is based on what I've seen in myself and what I see in other SLEs, as an SLE myself and understanding their emotional lives on an eye-to-eye level. It doesn't matter how much sense it makes from what you've tried to extrapolate by applying your personal reasoning to the Model A system, because it simply isn't true in reality.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy8419 View Post
    A lot of the "types" online treat "type" as a manifestation of their sexuality. SLE women online, for example, more often than not, tend to want to go at a dude from behind with accessories.
    Yeah, I don't really have this inclination. If my lover wanted it and had the resources available, I wouldn't be closed off to obliging him, but I honestly don't think that it would be a turn on for me.

    Also in regards to the rest of your post, I don't think that people's preferences or sexual inclinations point towards their self-typings necessarily being wrong or presented as an excuse of some sort.

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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    Yeah, I don't really have this inclination. If my lover wanted it and had the resources available, I wouldn't be closed off to obliging him, but I honestly don't think that it would be a turn on for me.
    Thanks. Not something I would ask SLE females IRL out of respect, so wasn't sure if it was an "internet weirdo" thing or not.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    His response was sort of textbook and it makes sense. He is also on JOA's team, team, if I remember correctly, and seems to know a lot about the theory.
    Logic is quite suggestive for you, isn't it Aylen.

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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    Logic is quite suggestive for you, isn't it Aylen.
    *deleted*

    Edit: Maybe I misunderstood so just in case, I am capable of deep analysis without help but I do value Ti in others as long as it doesn't conflict with my Ni. I was just acknowledging that he (ava) does know a lot about theory but not as much about direct experience.
    Last edited by Aylen; 05-27-2016 at 12:48 AM.

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    First, some thoughts inserted into the body of your post here:

    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    *deleted*

    Edit: Maybe I misunderstood so just in case, I am capable of deep analysis without help (yes, I know--my words were ambiguous but I didn't expect this to be one interpretation...if I did, I would have chosen different wording..) but I do value Ti in others as long as it doesn't conflict with my Ni (actually I wasn't talking about Ti specifically, but about "T" overall--that is, I didn't literally mean to imply that I thought Ti or Te was literally your dual-seeking/suggestive function or that you were some other type than what you see yourself as, but I'll get to this below...). I was just acknowledging that he (ava) does know a lot about theory but not as much about direct experience.**
    When I say "suggestive", I mean in the sense that it is an attractive type of information for you. People tend to be attracted to those who have their lower dimensionality strengths in higher dimensionalities. In this sense, our PoLRs, for example, can be just as "suggestive" to us, in terms of finding a good friend/partner/match, as our suggestive or dual-seeking. This is a major part of why people can be so attracted to their conflictors initially, or why we can be attracted to our supervisors or even supervisees and why there are a lot of supervision marriages. E.g. for ethical types, logical information is attractive, and ethical information is attractive and "suggestive" for logical types.

    I mentioned it because I've noticed that you and other people of your type, seem to hone in on displays of logic in a particular way, and I've seen this in numerous instances here on the forum.



    **Regarding @Avalonia, I wouldn't be so quick to assume that he is inexperienced, even in terms of directly dealing with SLEs specifically. In other matters I would venture to say that he's anything but inexperienced.

    It's not even a logical issue; the issue is deeper and to do with a huge way that socionics itself can be problematic for anybody using it, and that is stereotyping. Stereotypes develop because of real issues and because it's easy to rationalize them, which blows up into stigmas that make it more difficult for people to want to explore and see which sides of issues are true or not. The idea that a person is your supervisor also creates instant bias and can instantly make someone excited for a chance to see if they can take them down a notch. Not saying that it was purely this as a driving force in this situation, but it can happen, and based on the wording of his post I do not doubt that it played a role here. [He "already" sees an issue present.....?] Anyway TLDR I don't think it was an issue of logic vs. experience per se in this case, but I already explained my thoughts on this in a post above.

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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    First, some thoughts inserted into the body of your post here:



    When I say "suggestive", I mean in the sense that it is an attractive type of information for you. People tend to be attracted to those who have their lower dimensionality strengths in higher dimensionalities. In this sense, our PoLRs, for example, can be just as "suggestive" to us, in terms of finding a good friend/partner/match, as our suggestive or dual-seeking. This is a major part of why people can be so attracted to their conflictors initially, or why we can be attracted to our supervisors or even supervisees and why there are a lot of supervision marriages. E.g. for ethical types, logical information is attractive, and ethical information is attractive and "suggestive" for logical types.

    I mentioned it because I've noticed that you and other people of your type, seem to hone in on displays of logic in a particular way, and I've seen this in numerous instances here on the forum.



    **Regarding @Avalonia, I wouldn't be so quick to assume that he is inexperienced, even in terms of directly dealing with SLEs specifically. In other matters I would venture to say that he's anything but inexperienced.

    It's not even a logical issue; the issue is deeper and to do with a huge way that socionics itself can be problematic for anybody using it, and that is stereotyping. Stereotypes develop because of real issues and because it's easy to rationalize them, which blow up into stigmas that make it more difficult for people to want to explore and see which sides of issues are true or not. The idea that a person is your supervisor also creates instant bias and can instantly make someone excited for a chance to see if they can take them down a notch. Not saying that it was purely this as a driving force in this situation, but it can happen, and based on the wording of his post I do not doubt that it played a role here. [He "already" sees an issue present.....?] Anyway TLDR I don't think it was an issue of logic vs. experience per se in this case, but I already explained my thoughts on this in a post above.
    Thanks for clarifying. I have said this too many times but I will repeat so you can see why logic might be attractive, to me, on a deeper level. I was raised by an ILI and in a long term relationship with an ILI. They were my primary influences for many years and yes they had a way of hitting my polr. I do not necessarily feel I seek logic in a socionics sense but I seek clarity. I am not sure if you are saying Ava is my supervisor but I see him as my beneficiary in a socioncs sense. It is a theory so I don't put much faith in it as far as relationships go except on a very superficial level.

    In comparison to me I am sure Ava does not have the breadth of experience that I have with actual human beings. That is what I meant. Theory is fine and he is good at sorting it out and categorizing. I think he is highly intelligent and knows things that even some adults do not. I was the same way but I did not "know" because of my logic. I just knew things. I could read between the lines and I eavesdropped on adults a lot as a child. I also have a strong grasp on common sense. Thanks to my stepdad (ILI).

    My childhood would probably shock some people but I do not want to talk about that here. I feel a lot of empathy for Ava and what he is going through so that spilled over here. I don't want to see him end up locked away, like I was, unable to see family and analyzed by "experts" to the point I was practically catatonic, just because I saw the world differently and did not fit the stereotype of "normal". If my posts are not completely clear sometimes it is because I do not write half of what I am thinking. I might skip key information because I tend to forget that other people are not always going to be able to sort things out or read between the lines.

    I think because he is logical base that he won't be. I was very confused when it came to reality and there were a lot of gray areas for me... I don't think he is. I believe he will be fine and what he is going through now is going to making him much wiser and stronger than I was. I also believe in giving credit where it is due. Do I think his logic is stronger than mine, not really but the reasons why I think that are not important. I can see how he might grow into something really special if he believes in himself. I do know he would probably blow me away on an IQ test though.

    He is still in his mid teens from what I picked up in chatbox and by default I am going to say he does not have enough experience with different people to see how the theory aligns with reality. I would have balked at being told I was inexperienced at his age because I felt I knew it all. I didn't. That is all I meant. Ava does not come off as a "know it all" like some ILI and the recent suggestion that he is ILI (in chatbox) doesn't sit right with me.

    Anyway, I understand what you are saying...

    Edit: Not to mention my mom is LSI. I was surrounded by logical people at home. On the streets it was mostly beta and gamma sensors.
    Last edited by Aylen; 05-31-2016 at 06:40 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    Thanks for clarifying. I have said this too many times but I will repeat so you can see why logic might be attractive, to me, on a deeper level. I was raised by an ILI and in a long term relationship with an ILI. They were my primary influences for many years and yes they had a way of hitting my polr. I do not necessarily feel I seek logic in a socionics sense but I seek clarity. I am not sure if you are saying Ava is my supervisor but I see him as my beneficiary in a socioncs sense. It is a theory so I don't put much faith in it as far as relationships go except on a very superficial level.

    In comparison to me I am sure Ava does not have the breadth of experience that I have with actual human beings. That is what I meant. Theory is fine and he is good at sorting it out and categorizing. I think he is highly intelligent and knows things that even some adults do not. I was the same way but I did not "know" because of my logic. I just knew things. I could read between the lines and I eavesdropped on adults a lot as a child. I also have a strong grasp on common sense. Thanks to my stepdad (ILI).

    My childhood would probably shock some people but I do not want to talk about that here. I feel a lot of empathy for Ava and what he is going through so that spilled over here. I don't want to see him end up locked away, like I was, unable to see family and analyzed by "experts" to the point I was practically catatonic, just because I saw the world differently and did not fit the stereotype of "normal". If my posts are not completely clear sometimes it is because I do not write half of what I am thinking. I might skip key information because I tend to forget that other people are not always going to be able to sort things out or read between the lines.

    I think because he is logical base that he won't be. I was very confused when it came to reality and there were a lot of gray areas for me... I don't think he is. I believe he will be fine and what he is going through now is going to making him much wiser and stronger than I was. I also believe in giving credit where it is due. Do I think his logic is stronger than mine, not really but the reasons why I think that are not important. I can see how he might grow into something really special if he believes in himself. I do know he would probably blow me away on an IQ test though.

    He is still in his mid teens from what I picked up in chatbox and by default I am going to say he does not have enough experience with different people to see how the theory aligns with reality. I would have balked at being told I was inexperienced at his age because I felt I knew it all. I didn't. That is all I meant. Ava does not come off as a "know it all" like some ILI and the recent suggestion that he is ILI (in chatbox) doesn't sit right with me.

    Anyway, I understand what you are saying...

    Edit: Not to mention my mom is LSI. I was surrounded by logical people at home. On the streets it was mostly beta and gamma sensors.
    Okay. I had no idea that Ava was that age. I originally thought he was in his 20s or 30s lolol.

    To further clarify, I never had any thoughts that you were anything but IEI, and wasn't trying to imply that in my posts either.

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    @Aylen I think it's funny that in contrast to you and many others, I don't really leave a lot of my thinking out lol. I mean I sometimes make things overly condensed and skip over reasoning, assuming that people will fill in a lot of the logical stepping stones themselves, which I guess contributes to a lot of misunderstanding. What I say is usually just so dry and bare bones and flat one-dimensional in a way that's beyond norms for how people relay information to each other that there's so much room for people to fill in the void with a lot of assumptions of what I'm implying. And then on the other hand, when I'm actually trying to be artfully subtle to get people to try to open their minds and read between the lines, it's just way too subtle and people will rarely catch on. Anyway I'm just overall terrible at dealing with interpersonal, communication concerns. It seems to be very difficult for me to predict or take into account and engineer what people may or may not get out of what I say. At most, I can try to get my tone across with some low-key Fe, but that's still very weak for me so it often times hurts more than it helps.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    I won't speak in detail about this because this is a very public website. In short, it seemed like we had similar taste in things, and that we complimented and supported each other well and communication seemed like a breeze, but eventually I realized that the way that we valued things and viewed life was completely different and incompatible.
    I dated an SLE for a short term. I can say the following differences The spontaneity was not adequate for my psyche. I really like the "let's plan it" approach to going somewhere and even plan where we will have dinner and make things predictable. SLE took me with their senses "there's this restaurant at the beach overlooking the surf with big window. We can eat there" It was an overload of sensations. Even when we got back to his place he wanted to play the guitar as we took in the sunset. I just wanted to lay on the couch and relax. So there was no clear cut "relax time" as there is with my dual, which I love so much. I appreciated SLE's connection to his family and the history he shared with me. He was very proud of his heritage and of the crafts that were passed down to him. It made things very rich for Fi types who value family and friendship. I didn't have enough emotional output for him. After a while I just wanted to escape and be at home. I didn't want to go out any more. I didn't want to do things. He was very kind. He made me tea but in all he did there was that element of heightened sensation and will where I wanted to be at home, watch a few shows and listen to someone talk about their work and what had transpired. He talked about his work as he was working. I'm trying to think of specific things. Also SLE are protective, they will reach out to me and ask me what's going on and in what ways can they be of help. I find my duals are there for me but let me do what I want in a "I guided you, you decide."

    I'm just not emotionally varied and I can be quite willful. I'm not changeable, I'm steady and predictable and always very consistent. My duals always get a report of where I am so that they can track my activity. From when I leave for work and i get there I'm texting "I'm at work babe" to going to lunch "I'm going to lunch" when I get home safely "I'm at home." I don't know why and I can't explain to you what it is that I find so even and comforting in this.

    Maybe being Ep and having an Ip dual who can do things spontaneously makes them interact on a day to day basis without tracking on each other's actions so much. IDK

    I also find it sad when SLE cry ( a few females have) and I don't have enough Fe to say "Aww, I'm sorry. I hope you feel better' with that loud and expressive sympathetic tone. All I do is reach in for a hug and say "I'm here for you if you want to start pouring out your troubles. I'll listen"

    SLE define the things that are "real power" "real man" etc. It's the difference between being a commander and a working bee. I'll take my duals
    Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power.

    With LSE it's what they enjoy doing and what they do that is the center of most conversations
    What the right ways of doing things are, identifying how others do it the way they do and then saying "I like the way he thinks"
    I enjoy going on motorcycle trips and stopping in small towns and enjoying drinks with the locals. Doing Te and enjoying Si
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Haikus niffer's Avatar
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    @Maritsa thanks for sharing your experiences. It sounds a lot like how it was for me too.

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    @YXPR I thought of some simpler and better ways to describe what Fi polr is like for me as an individual. Weak Fe is also an issue.

    Basically I have no idea how human relationships are supposed to work.

    In a group setting, I see people making friends and getting close to each other, and I have no idea how or why this is happening. It seems to me like people have almost literally a magnetic pull to some individuals and then it just happens. It's like an aspect of physical reality to me. Sounds ridiculous, but I see and feel it. But I don't really understand this magneticness or know how to control it in myself. I can be expressive or polite to others, but I don't know how to get closer to them and move our relationship along, or how to get less close. I'm kind of just at the mercy of others and their Fi. I'm passive and generally wait for others to come and open up to me, even though I might be open to connecting. I'm pretty cautious because sometimes I act inappropriately and other people will get offended. I think this plays into having low Fe too... I'm just kind of weird. If something's funny to me, I might find it hard not to laugh really hard when nobody else is laughing, or I might not cry when everybody else is crying and randomly cry several hours later when nobody is crying anymore instead. I don't know how other people feel about me and I can only come to understand it in a factual way, and even then I'm not sure of how they really feel. I like a lot of bright and warm emotions and I try to understand how people feel and gage how they feel about each other based on their externally visible emotional reactions. I think through Fe I can kind of feel the love and other stuff people have for me... but at the same time it's not always an accurate representation .. or something.. I'm not sure lol. Or I see their emotional reactions towards me as a reflection of our relationship. It's hard for me to understand how people can feel a certain way about people and outwardly express it in a way that seems contradictory. I think Fi seems to also be about like an internal complexity about each individual that's just there. It's like, who they really are, a deep and limitless cosmos very deep inside them, and who they are as they are connecting with others and with their environment. I can totally see it but I don't know how to work with it. An IEE roomie I had once told me that I seemed to not know who I was as a person. I'm also afraid to look unfamiliar people in the eye because I'm afraid of what might happen.

    Edit: Also when I feel a certain way about people, I'm not sure how I should express it to them. It's usually kind of simplistic or over or underexaggerated. It looks awkward and doesn't "match up" completely with my inner feelings like how Fe creatives can do it.
    Last edited by niffer; 06-02-2016 at 01:44 AM.

  28. #108
    Samuel the Gabriel H. MisterNi's Avatar
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    A. Do all female SLE work at Tilly's?
    B. Are all SLE rich or just the ones I know?
    C. Are all SLE 'ride or die' type of people?
    D. Do SLE universally like sports?
    E. Can an SLE ever say, "I love you!" to their spouse?
    F. Is every SLE on Earth human?

    TIA.

    IEE Ne Creative Type

    Some and role lovin too. () I too...
    !!!!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    Okay, I can give you a story from my life.

    I was 13 years old, and it was early in my 8th grade year. I was coming out of my shell in regards to trying to be more social and outgoing with others. I was feeling very experimental. Prior to this age I was kind of like an arrogant nerd who had little social experience. If you can picture a 30-year-old basement-dwelling neckbeard contained in the body of a little girl, that was sort of the kind of person I was.

    One snowy day, two friends and I (an IEI and an SEI) decided to visit our old elementary school park. Once there, we encountered some people who went to a different school than my friends and I did and were slightly older than us. They were all acquaintances of mine, people I had met before in the recent (for that time) past, except for one person. This one person was a very very tall, huge black guy with a very high-pitched voice, and all of his friends surrounding him were tiny white girls. I'd never met anyone quite like him before up until that point in my life. We introduced ourselves to each other, and I introduced my friends to him.

    During this time in my life, I had deduced through observation that a distinguishing feature of people feeling comfortable and at ease with each other was being able to insult one another and brush it off as a joke and as friendly competition. It seemed to me that this behaviour facilitated bonding. So right then and there, I came up with the perfect idea to make this person who was very different from me in almost every way feel immediately comfortable with me and wanting to be my friend: to insult him. Get the popcorn now.

    Pretty much just after telling him my name, I said to him, in a super cheerful tone, that his voice sounded "just like a girl's! (^^)"

    He became furious. He replied, "Excuse me? Well your voice sounds like a horse, more like a whore's." He then proceeded to throw icy snowballs at me really, really hard, as my friends and I tried to run away a bit.

    After a few minutes it seemed like his other friends noticed that some misunderstanding had happened between us that was causing this, and he seemed to calm down a bit with the snowballs. I went and apologized to him, and then his demeanor towards me turned upside down completely. He was like, "Wow, you are actually a really nice person!" etc. and he apologized too, for the snowballs. Ever after when I saw him on the streets or around town, he would wave happily to me and treat me with kindness.
    This is a good way of describing Fi polr and a lot of activation of Fe..which is telling a story in a humorous way " If you can picture a 30-year-old basement-dwelling neckbeard contained in the body of a little girl, that was sort of the kind of person I was."
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  30. #110
    lemontrees's Avatar
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    how do you know when you're in love?

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    Haikus niffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MisterNi View Post
    A. Do all female SLE work at Tilly's?
    Hahaha I never have, but I like Tilly hats. They are very durable. I worked at a sports retail store before though one summer when I was in highschool.

    B. Are all SLE rich or just the ones I know?
    Just the ones you know lmao.
    C. Are all SLE 'ride or die' type of people?
    I seem to get like this sometimes lol.
    D. Do SLE universally like sports?
    I experimented a lot when I was younger but didn't stick with any one sport for long.
    E. Can an SLE ever say, "I love you!" to their spouse?
    It happens all the time.
    F. Is every SLE on Earth human?
    No! Animals have types too.

    TIA.
    You're welcome.

  32. #112
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    I'm able to observe relations and from what I can tell you do have a magnetic charm (I hope this doesn't embarrass you
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  33. #113
    Samuel the Gabriel H. MisterNi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    You're welcome.
    Since my Thank/Like buttons are broken, consider this reply as my THANKS!

    IEE Ne Creative Type

    Some and role lovin too. () I too...
    !!!!!!

  34. #114
    Haikus niffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    I'm able to observe relations and from what I can tell you do have a magnetic charm (I hope this doesn't embarrass you
    lol aww Maritsa haha

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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    how do you know when you're in love?
    My actions always seem to speak louder and better than my own mindful awareness of my feelings. Things just transpire, seemingly magically to me sometimes. I'll try to do anything to be with them, and things that I normally hate I'll enjoy in relation to them. I'll give them my energy and not feel bitter about it after.

  36. #116
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    The reason why it's Fi polr is you crossed a boundary by insulting a person before establishing a friendly relation with them.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  37. #117
    Haikus niffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    The reason why it's Fi polr is you crossed a boundary by insulting a person before establishing a friendly relation with them.
    Yeah! And also, I assumed that how people acted on the outside was a reflection of how people are feeling about each other (I thought "insulting people = people are friends who like each other"). But actually, it's not a bad thing for a guy to sound like a girl lol... and he really really sounded like a girl. Since I didn't really believe it was bad, I guess it was like a joking insult. Eventually the guy realized that I didn't mean it seriously I think...

    I always say awkward things like that without thinking about the normal circumstances in a relationship where it would be appropriate or what it implies.............

  38. #118
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    Yeah! And also, I assumed that how people acted on the outside was a reflection of how people are feeling about each other (I thought "insulting people = people are friends who like each other"). But actually, it's not a bad thing for a guy to sound like a girl lol... and he really really sounded like a girl. Since I didn't really believe it was bad, I guess it was like a joking insult. Eventually the guy realized that I didn't mean it seriously I think...

    I always say awkward things like that without thinking about the normal circumstances in a relationship where it would be appropriate or what it implies.............
    Yes ! You assumed that they are Fe. Outer feelings are their feelings
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  39. #119
    Samuel the Gabriel H. MisterNi's Avatar
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    More Q that I need an A to.

    A. Would you like going on a blind date with an IEI I befriended at work and assured you that he (or she if you're a dude) is good looking?
    B. Do SLE typically enjoy cross country mountain biking or only bombing downhill?

    Inquiring minds would like to know!

    IEE Ne Creative Type

    Some and role lovin too. () I too...
    !!!!!!

  40. #120
    Haikus niffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MisterNi View Post
    More Q that I need an A to.A. Would you like going on a blind date with an IEI I befriended at work and assured you that he (or she if you're a dude) is good looking?B. Do SLE typically enjoy cross country mountain biking or only bombing downhill?Inquiring minds would like to know!
    a) I would rather you would introduce us at a large group event or something. If I was feeling desperate, then yeah maybe lol.

    b) I'm not skilled at biking. I can only handle leisurely flat hill biking.

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