And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night
Originally Posted by Starfall7w6 2w3 8w9 - The Free Spirit
I loled and almost drooled
How would you describe your Fi polr?
How do you cope with it?
How do you act around the people that you like?
What do you expect from them?
How would you describe Te polr?
What do you feel when interacting with Te polrs?
How did you come across the socionics theory?
What made you want to get into it more?
I think I need to answer these one by one.
In my next post, I'll actually answer your question lol. I just had to give that little background spiel for lead-in to serve as context for my thoughts.
"How would you describe your Fi polr?"
"How do you cope with it?"
It manifests differently between ILE and SLE. As ILEs are intuitive types, they are naturally in tune with and have full psychic access to the internal, more "spiritual" mental experience of humans and other living creatures. SLEs are not very much of this. By contrast, we are naturally in tune with and have full psychic access to what it means to have a physical body and to physically exist. At the core of ILEs' experience is a deep connection to the physical world and experience, and at the core of SLEs' experience is a deep connection to the spiritual meaning of everything. For both ILEs and SLEs, I believe Fi polr is about a natural emotional vulnerability, leading to an instinctual coping mechanism to mentally detach from our emotions as well as others', to keep ourselves safe from those who can hurt us due to us essentially having a primitive emotional toolbox and thus no other options for dealing with emotional issues. Make no mistake. Fi polr types are incredibly sensitive. I strongly identified with Jung's idea of Fi for many years, assuming that I was an Fi ego type for the first 6 years of my interest in Jungian typology. Other Fi polr types I've spoken about typology to have had issues with mistyping as Fi ego like me as well. Therefore, our insensitivity towards you is not intentional. It's half collateral damage from our own emotional numbing within ourselves, and half a tradeoff of nature where we've received lower EQ (emotional intelligence "quotient") for a higher IQ. In addition, we sometimes try to gain support from others (Fe) by putting others down, or otherwise are capable of hurting others for Fe-gaining purposes, through poor planning; being shitty and insensitive and "turning off" Fi in favor of Fe is instinctual and self-preservational. We know that our behaviour is wrong, but in moments like this, either we are on auto-pilot (I see this more with ILEs... it is more a sense of obliviousness and innocent ignorance of social norms with them), or that our survival instinct has been set off and it is extremely difficult for us to control ourselves in these moments. Without the social support of the group, as an individual you are dead meat, and Fi polrs know this very well. This is the other side of the coin to what it means to have Fe as a hidden agenda. It means to live with the fear that we may be rejected from our peers, our community, or our society at any time because we are constantly creating our own thoughts (Ti creatives--we are independent thinkers) which may not jive with the values and beliefs of those around us or may stir up outrage. This is what it means to be attracted to Fe creatives, our duals who are attracted to and who value and will be willing to take the time to comprehend our independent thinking and who have mediating qualities between people so that they are capable of reaching out and extending social acceptance to us, and helping us adapt to common social mores and graces.
There's no coping. There's only experiencing our emotional limitations and coming to understand them more clearly over time, seeing the signs for perilous situations when they come up and getting better at avoiding them over time. For me, learning about psychology has added to my understanding of people and emotions a bit, and learning socionics theory and integrating it into my worldview has been a massive game changer in terms of my understanding of the human experience, emotions, relationships, and life.
Because of this, it's hard for me to decide if I "truly like" someone, or something. This is another Fi polr thing. Fi DS types actually behave in a similar way. We're all quite objective and we want to deeply love, but we can't bear to waste our emotions. It's got to be worth it.
How do I act around the people I like. I act like niffer, however niffer feels at that particular moment.
To the SLE: woman?
niffer I would have thought that SLEs, when faced with insurmountable odds, would first try diplomacy or disappearing so as to be able to fight another day. Stress is very telling about what one is deep down and I think SLEs are believers. Becoming moralists and falling on their swords to make a point is not likely in the cards for SLEs but they will go down fighting for beliefs. I think the seat of ones soul is ones dual configuration; in this case, IEI.
Last edited by niffer; 05-17-2016 at 05:00 PM.
By the way, it's an honor to have an LII agree with my views on soul configuration.
niffer My use of the term "insurmountable odds" was not necessarily meant in the physical sense but it would be a crushing defeat for SLE; they would therefore try to save what they could through whatever diplomacy or grace that they could muster so long as their beliefs were left intact. My use of the term "soul" refers to fundamental stabilizing processes when one is not coping in normal mode. I assure you that I have no spiritual inclination whatsoever but I can see how ones secondary functioning could be interpreted as such. I'll try not to be as ambiguous with my choice of words......
The worst experience with an EII you had? Or maybe just - how do you see this type? I've got kind of allergic reactions to my conflictors, but is the same for you? Would love to hear about it, lol.
Last edited by tuathe; 05-19-2016 at 03:15 PM. Reason: [eternal secret]
u made me realize I want somebody to spit on my face in a very bisexual way, with the aggressive sadistic egotistical assholeness of a male yet the caring social heartedness of a woman (when she's not being cruel- I mean the campy archetype)
I was 13 years old, and it was early in my 8th grade year. I was coming out of my shell in regards to trying to be more social and outgoing with others. I was feeling very experimental. Prior to this age I was kind of like an arrogant nerd who had little social experience. If you can picture a 30-year-old basement-dwelling neckbeard contained in the body of a little girl, that was sort of the kind of person I was.
One snowy day, two friends and I (an IEI and an SEI) decided to visit our old elementary school park. Once there, we encountered some people who went to a different school than my friends and I did and were slightly older than us. They were all acquaintances of mine, people I had met before in the recent (for that time) past, except for one person. This one person was a very very tall, huge black guy with a very high-pitched voice, and all of his friends surrounding him were tiny white girls. I'd never met anyone quite like him before up until that point in my life. We introduced ourselves to each other, and I introduced my friends to him.
During this time in my life, I had deduced through observation that a distinguishing feature of people feeling comfortable and at ease with each other was being able to insult one another and brush it off as a joke and as friendly competition. It seemed to me that this behaviour facilitated bonding. So right then and there, I came up with the perfect idea to make this person who was very different from me in almost every way feel immediately comfortable with me and wanting to be my friend: to insult him. Get the popcorn now.
Pretty much just after telling him my name, I said to him, in a super cheerful tone, that his voice sounded "just like a girl's! (^^)"
He became furious. He replied, "Excuse me? Well your voice sounds like a horse, more like a whore's." He then proceeded to throw icy snowballs at me really, really hard, as my friends and I tried to run away a bit.
After a few minutes it seemed like his other friends noticed that some misunderstanding had happened between us that was causing this, and he seemed to calm down a bit with the snowballs. I went and apologized to him, and then his demeanor towards me turned upside down completely. He was like, "Wow, you are actually a really nice person!" etc. and he apologized too, for the snowballs. Ever after when I saw him on the streets or around town, he would wave happily to me and treat me with kindness.
Actually I've always felt some potential for connection with the EIIs I've met without exception, but it's a bit like running towards a mirage in a desert. Whatever appears to be established shared grounding and meaningful connection in the relationship always ends up being discovered to have been a facade. A summary of the nature of interactions with my conflictor is kind of like, eating at McDonalds. On one hand the food might taste good enough to satisfy you for a short while and give you some good memories of the meal afterwards, until you remember all the bad ingredients and chemicals and empty calories that are a part of the food and you just feel ill at ease about everything, and then once more resolve to not solve your hunger with McDonalds ever again. I'm okay with having McDonalds once in a while. In fact, I'm sometimes very happy to have it and look forward to eating it. But if I think too deeply about McDonalds or get attached to McDonalds and eat it as most of my diet, my mental and emotional health and life would be really screwed up lol.
Last edited by niffer; 05-21-2016 at 08:46 AM.
What's wrong with SLEs such as Benito Mussolini, Saddam Hussein or Recep Tayyip Erdoğan? How are they different from you?
The main difference between me and them, is that I'm me, and they're them. Different DNA, different upbringings, entirely different life situations altogether. Of course, one can say this about what makes any two people different, or what makes one person different from anyone else to ever exist. Perhaps I'm not so different from them at all.
niffer Isn't that the needed perspective in a supportive relationship - a different value and view? It can be valuable in an annoying sort of way such as I like danger but he keeps me safe. One should not let the many little things obscure the big picture. Also this alternate perspective does serve to prevent one from pooping in the others pasture.....
This is getting too personally revealing, so this is the last comment I'm making about this relationship.
@niffer Various type interactions will exacerbate conflict in their unique ways, but I have found that interaction alone is never the initial cause - people develop their own detonators. Also, I have never thought that conflict partnerships were the worst on the incompatibility scale. And, I have seen duals, who didn't see eye to eye, have particularly nasty relationships because they seem to inherently know how to turn the screws on one another.
Last edited by niffer; 05-23-2016 at 01:09 AM.
How shall I put it, let's see...
1. Is it true that SLE are actually quite thin skinned due to that Fi PoLR?
2. Do you have a lot of...khm /sniff "fun"(due to famous SLE "I don't care, let me conquer" attitude)?
Well, you said ask and I took it to mean ANYTHING?