I recently began interacting with a self-identified ENFp, and a couple of self-identified ESFps. With the ENFp, our interactions were very smooth, we felt strong mutual attraction from the get-go, and we seemed to be progressing through what is described as "the stages of duality". With the ESFps, the conversations took longer to get going, weren't as enjoyable, and they didn't seem that interested in me. They were very pleasant conversations, but I didn't "sense an inevitable necessity to meet again after my first contact" or that "they attached to something within me" or that "if I do something, my thoughts are about them" or "an intuitive feeling of safety" or "an internal joy that fills up the soul" like I did with the ENFp. I understand that there are things outside of standard intertype which can significantly affect relations, such as subtype, enneagram, attachment style, and mental health. I also understand that they could possibly be mistyped, or that I could be completely misunderstanding intertype. Regardless, these interactions serve as more fuel for my uncertainty between SLI and ILI.
How do you differentiate mirage and duality? What's the most effective method of determining if someone is your mirage or your dual?