There is a female ESI artist whom I've known for about five years, and I'm embarrassed to say that my feelings for her are very strong, Embarrassed, because she's 25. (Goddammit, Adam, get a grip.) I'm happy around her and I can't tell her how I feel because if I did, she'd probably start seeing me as a pervert Uncle. So I don't tell her anything, and she always keeps at arm's length, even though I can tell that she likes being around me, too. For Duality reasons. She just gets observably happy when I'm around.
She came over to my house to take some pictures of her artwork for a website she's making, and as we were moving a table, my arm brushed hers and I glanced at her and she had an inner warm, secret smile on her face
, and I thought, what the hell does that mean? It means she's liking me right now, in the moment, without regard to the future. To me, this is both insane and everything I've ever wanted. She told me her work schedule is eight days on, six days off, and it is exhausting her, and I told her she needs to find something more balanced, and she agreed, and then she flew out the door for Colorado, because that was the next thing on her list to do. >_<