I didn't read the instructions on the poll. I just voted for who I think I will win. I don't vote in elections. I always have something better to do. But I do have a million dollar prediction: Jeb Bush wins New Hampshire and eventually the presidency.
Carson pisses me off. Maybe Carson tells truth about his background, but many things are off to me....I have a lot of violence in my background and a wild temper in childhood. I've tamed it for the sake of my SO/SP ambitions and that's amplified my confidence, and strong can-do spirit. Because I have conquered my temper, I believe that I can conquer anything. I channel it into proactive things that will further my ambition to have the biggest castle on the block and that gives me an uncanny energy to do pretty much anything. But the temper still rages below, like a force of nature comparable to the rough seas. I've just naturally developed insulation strategies for keeping it in a more cooled state. For instance, when I talk I naturally keep my lips apart a lot. That's just a little subtle thing that I do reflexively that keeps my temper in a chilled compartment. You don't ever get rid of it, though, that's the point....Shit doesn't go away....it's just fine-tuning the drive to dominate everything in a way that won't disempower me. You go from dominating with fists to dominating with words. I can stay calm and in control in many situations, but there are still many situations where I have to get as far away from my anger as possible....my eyes go right up into the back of my head. Unless I feel the timing is right, in which case I'll take the head off of the person in my way....A teacher once told me that even me doing nothing, just sitting there, was enough to frighten people, like a force field around me....a violent, assertive quality I exude in a state of relaxation that can provoke a strong response from people....a smoke rising off ice. I ain't even trying to do it. I've had a couple older guys in public places try to engage me in prolonged staring contests. And I always win. This LSI guy at starbucks went off on me because I asked if he was in line. He just started calling me a loser and stuff. Like he wanted to fight. He was an older dude, like in his thirties. So I squared up to him and instead of punching him proceeded to stare him down. That's what I mean about taming my temper. It's still there, though. In the event he wanted to make a move I'd just clobber him, but then I could say he threw the first punch. I was calm and in control of the situation the whole time, but that doesn't mean I won't dominate the person. After a few minutes all that courage drained out of him and he went into fear mode. He looked visibly scared. He got out of the line, hurried over to his table, grabbed his computer and cable, and screwed out of the starbucks. Another guy used to tell me that I had murder in my eyes. He'd be like don't look at me like that! I know what he's talking about now. I didn't know then. But you know that I can fuck shit up. I don't have to literally threaten somebody to threaten them. Even just giving them a compliment can sound like a threat, or an insult. I walked up to the bar the other day and just said 'hi' and the bartender just jumped back like I snuck up on her and went BOOO. It's the icey tone that suggests your suffering won't move me, that I might want to kill you, that the capacity to inflict pain is just below the surface. Ultimately what I'm saying is that quality is all related to the wild temper I had as a kid (you don't have one without the other-- its ingrained to the kinesthetic) and if I told somebody things I did it wouldn't come as a surprise. And if journalists tried to vet my background there would be no end of people that would confirm the stuff i say and then some....a lot of exaggerations and myths spring up around me just because the way that I am makes almost anything believable, it feeds the imagination. That's why I think Carson is very likely full of baloney. I've lived the story he's trying to pass of as his own life narrative, and a lot of the more subtle aspects in his narrative feel very off from mine. If he was as violent as he claims, he would be more like me in ways that he's not.