Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
Yes, it is conveys "victim" in a very literal sense. Even though this quote is about S&M I think it is insightful into the "victim" romance style as I experience it. I am not into S&M but I understand the mindset maybe but in the lightest sense. I would never want humiliation or real pain.

"The submissive obeys only because she chooses to. There is nothing compelling her obedience except her resolve. The submissive is, therefore, empowering the dominant by her decision. We call a consensual empowerment of the dominant by the submissive a power exchange. Just as she gave her consent, she can take it away at any time. Power in SM flows from the bottom up."


- Philip Miller and Molly Devon, http://bit.ly/ScrewTheRosesSendMeTheThorns
Interesting quote.

I make a very simple distinction: If both people in the interaction have equal amounts of power, in terms of what can and may be done to the other etc., then it is consensual and a natural, playful Victim-Aggressor interaction. However, if there is one crass imbalance, in that the "dominant" (abuser) has got all the power, there is something wrong – and it is an Abuser-Abused interaction.

By that standard, I would not even say the consenting submissive is empowering the dominant. Rather, it is an equal power exchange. Though it is true that the submissive/Victim gives out some kind of implicit "allowance" of being handled roughly, indicating they are enjoying and craving it. The term "Victim" can be misleading in that regard, given the Victim actually enjoys being handled roughly, strongly – they like feeling the other's power.

Whereas with an abused Victim, they cannot do anything against the other's power, and their power actually hurts them and makes them feel bad, and used.

In short: Victim-Aggressor interaction is mutually beneficial. Abuser-Abused, isn't.