How do I attract and make SLEs/ESTps come to me?

[glam]

I'm an IEI who likes to go to the gym..

this is normal IMO. i know plenty of IEIs who like going to the gym & working out - probably because IEIs often care a lot their looks.

[Olimpia]

this is normal IMO. i know plenty of IEIs who like going to the gym & working out - probably because IEIs often care a lot their looks.

Hm, I don't think an IEI would seek out a gym membership based on their own natural preferences. Both Ni and Fe are not particularly concerned with physical appearances, nor challenging themselves physically. I believe it is the Si pressure and Se seeking that makes certain IEIs and ILIs go to the gym. On their own, without that kind of pressure and without any need of a Dual, they would not care too much.

Add to that the fact an image type in the Enneagram makes IEIs more concerned with their appearance, as well as societal pressures (esp. when female) – all of this puts an even stronger pressure on their Role Si.

In that manner, it should not be surprising that female IEI E2/ 3/ 4s will be found in a gym, more often than any other type of IEI or even ILI in general (most of them are neither image-types nor female).

[darya]

Hm, I don't think an IEI would seek out a gym membership based on their own natural preferences. Both Ni and Fe are not particularly concerned with physical appearances, nor challenging themselves physically. I believe it is the Si pressure and Se seeking that makes certain IEIs and ILIs go to the gym. On their own, without that kind of pressure and without any need of a Dual, they would not care too much.

Add to that the fact an image type in the Enneagram makes IEIs more concerned with their appearance, as well as societal pressures (esp. when female) – all of this puts an even stronger pressure on their Role Si.

In that manner, it should not be surprising that female IEI E2/ 3/ 4s will be found in a gym, more often than any other type of IEI or even ILI in general (most of them are neither image-types nor female).

this is normal IMO. i know plenty of IEIs who like going to the gym & working out - probably because IEIs often care a lot their looks.

Most IEI's are above avarage concerened with their looks and looks of others. I agree though that Ni Fe isn't naturally a particularly physical combination. I had like 10 different gym memberships in my life and used to be (unhealthily) obsessed with gym as to spend several hours there each time. Atm I'm trying to get back on track from a long lazy spell tsk tsk. Some IEI's find gyms too mainstream though and prefer to excercise in other forms - some sort of weird modern dance, walking through the woods or Wii (if exercising with Wii doesn't make you feel like a huge nerd, then I don't know what will : ))

[mu4]

Hm, I don't think an IEI would seek out a gym membership based on their own natural preferences. Both Ni and Fe are not particularly concerned with physical appearances, nor challenging themselves physically. I believe it is the Si pressure and Se seeking that makes certain IEIs and ILIs go to the gym. On their own, without that kind of pressure and without any need of a Dual, they would not care too much.

Add to that the fact an image type in the Enneagram makes IEIs more concerned with their appearance, as well as societal pressures (esp. when female) – all of this puts an even stronger pressure on their Role Si.

In that manner, it should not be surprising that female IEI E2/ 3/ 4s will be found in a gym, more often than any other type of IEI or even ILI in general (most of them are neither image-types nor female).

IEI's probably manifest Si quite often, as this is the role function. Role function usage is frequent and often competent.

[mu4]

How do I attract SLEs ... I don't seem to meet many and they are my duals. Should I just try to seem as doe-eyed and artsy as possible? Also if anybody could give me tips on recognizing them it would be much appreciated. I feel like with the one I know I am always the one initiating our hangouts which bothers me! But he doesn't seem to mind, but shouldn't he because he's technically the aggressor? - Thanks

Ti subtype SLE can be pretty shy and avoidant about relationships. They can be very distrusting and somewhat insecure. It can take time before people open up.

Also people have maybe a strange understanding of sexual styles.

http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...s-and-Subtypes

Ti-ESTp (Organizer)

APPEARANCE

The logical subtype constructs an impression of quiet force and confidence for themselves. They are rational and sequential in affairs; hardworking and hardy. Usually appear cool, sustained and collected, however, in moments of irritation they express their fury in demonstratively sharp, absolute gestures. Within a quiet atmosphere they are kind and polite, while keeping the interlocutor at a distance. Their humor is sharp, sometimes rude, and they bare a quick, mistrustful glare from under their eyebrows. They’re kind but also serious and guarded. Their gait and gestures appear harmonious, smooth and precise. Tends to dress rather monotonously, however, from time to time can also clothe themselves brightly, even extravagantly. Appreciate quality in apparel and often creates many outfits from a few articles. Thus they show concern for both their behaviour and appearance; though they often seem cold and inaccessible they themselves try to appear proper, equal and benevolent, while maintaining their advantages.

CHARACTER

Steady and sustained: trying not to lose his equanimity under all circumstances. Reserved and polite in his statements, but can sometimes flare up. Very sorry when it comes out of himself in front of strangers.

Authoritative, serious, has a well developed sense of self-esteem. He prefers to talk about what feels competent. Uses formal or well-tested sources of information. New theories, untested practices, hypotheses and assumptions do not trust. Skeptical okkultizmu and esoteric.

Interested in laws and regulations, is able to maintain good documentation. If you turn to him for advice, delves into the details of the case and gives specific advice.

Reasonable, says a confident tone, convincing evidence. Very practical, does not like theories and inappropriate actions. In contact with strangers through indirect questions clarifies their position in society, communication, and the possibility of looking for land on which it can come together to solve common business interests.

This is a man of action rather than reflection, and when the time comes to respond, he immediately focused under the changed circumstances, boldly goes to the risk, well-weighed all the chances and not losing sight of their interests.

Enthusiastically received for a new job. He likes to act boldly, risking "on a major," prepared for this carefully and in detail.

Rational, pragmatic, and hardworking. Very logical and practical in business. Punctual and obligatory, demanding to themselves and waiting for the same from others. Monitors the quality of everything. Do not forgive schlock and negligence. Effectiveness assesses not worth the effort, but on the final result.

He lives by reason, it puts the above personal feelings, because of what might inadvertently offend his interlocutor, not giving any importance to this.

Do not demonstrative, but he likes to emphasize the case for his services. Proud, if everything in life is seeking its own.

Mobilized in advance in order to overcome future obstacles, having considered all the risks ahead of the current situation. Always a good feel for the real situation and is able to benefit from it. Knows how to properly arrange the people to do things, well-evaluate their business skills. Difficult to understand and less confidently assess the prospects of affairs and relations.

The authoritarian and strong-willed person, but if needed, can be flexible in communication, even to go on temporary assignment for the final goal. Understands the importance of material incentives and knows how to use them, without losing their benefits. Showing kindness to others and friendliness, but in matters strictly requires unity and unanimity.

Bored, if no use to his abilities, and if he is forced to follow through on something that he had lost interest or does not constitute for him a practical interest. Only a new experience, and frequent change of the lift of his vitality.

Has to attract people attention and specific services. In his heart a little bit suspicious, distrustful and suspicious. Afraid of dirty tricks and treachery of those trusts. Occasionally prone to fall into pessimism and melancholy.

Thinking about their problems, especially personal agenda, trying not to spend them in others.

In moments of despair, in need of understanding, sympathy and consolation, but because of the distrust is often not decided to be frank. Often resorting to alcohol to relieve stress.

Quite secretive, does not like him "climb into the soul" can avoid a direct conversation, skilfully put a person on location. Open heart can only be a very close and tested friend.

Restraint in the expression of feelings finds a guarantee of seriousness and reliability. Proud and unobtrusive, does not know how to entertain guests, even the rare compliments to women. Experiencing difficulty in expressing their feelings. Afraid of becoming dependent, even to close friends.

[Sol]

as alternative

[Olimpia]

as alternative

Haha, let the Ni manifest your Dual.

[Aylen]

as alternative

[Aylen]

In that manner, it should not be surprising that female IEI E2/ 3/ 4s will be found in a gym, more often than any other type of IEI or even ILI in general (most of them are neither image-types nor female).

My ILI ex built a gym in my garage and he also trained me. He had more motivation than me since he wanted to keep up with me, physically, when we were together. When we broke up he took most of the equipment with him. He left it all to me when he died so I don't go to the gym. I got to the garage or family room where I have everything I need. I will go days without working out. Sometimes weeks and then I wake up with motivation. I don't think it makes much of a difference in me. I can see more definition but I don't want a visible 6 pack and if I work out too much I can see every muscle in my stomach. I don't like it.

[Olimpia]

Alright. I suppose my observation regarding Ni leads and their exercise habits mostly applies to Self-pres blindspot Ni types, then.
All you Sp instinct IEIs got really upset over me suggesting fitness is not natural for IEIs, haha. I guess I also poked at your Si Role. That was not my intention.

Maybe it is just me, but I find Intuitives in general do not come across as proficient in reaching physical fitness as much as Sensors (esp. Se leads), even if they are Sp instinct. They will care for it as Sp instinct types, but it will often still look like some kind of weakness.

Anyhow, the best bet to find the SLE person of your dreams as an IEI who values the Sp instinct would be to meet them at a gym or some fitness related convention, or even some kind of health store (though the latter are more often frequented by health-conscious Si valuing Sp instinct people, mostly EIIs and SEIs).

[Olimpia]

Haha, I have actually used my "Ni magic" before to reach certain goals or "manifest" things.
The last time I did it "seriously", I managed to get accepted for the study course of my choice, haha.

Also, there is some use in following some kind of "Law of Attraction" code as an Ni ego type, esp. as an NF.
There have been numerous occasions when I would focus my mind on meeting certain kinds of types, and then it happened.
It is like your unconscious selectively looks out for those kinds of things/people, then. Can be a pretty useful thing.

Personally, I am studying SLEs and their behaviorisms, so I can get a feeling for their vibe and so forth, making it easier to spot them.

[Aylen]

Alright. I suppose my observation regarding Ni leads and their exercise habits mostly applies to Self-pres blindspot Ni types, then.
All you Sp instinct IEIs got really upset over me suggesting fitness is not natural for IEIs, haha. I guess I also poked at your Si Role. That was not my intention.

Maybe it is just me, but I find Intuitives in general do not come across as proficient in reaching physical fitness as much as Sensors (esp. Se leads), even if they are Sp instinct. They will care for it as Sp instinct types, but it will often still look like some kind of weakness.

Anyhow, the best bet to find the SLE person of your dreams as an IEI who values the Sp instinct would be to meet them at a gym or some fitness related convention, or even some kind of health store (though the latter are more often frequented by health-conscious Si valuing Sp instinct people, mostly EIIs and SEIs).

It could be sp instinct related since my ILI (sp/sx) ex was motivated and he ate healthy. It just feels like a chore to me. I will mostly work out when I wake up with energy. I prefer to dance over lifting weights and without someone to guide me in lifting I am totally clueless. I will choose the treadmill over going outside though. hahah

I used to think he was sx first but now it I am sure he isn't. It has been clearer since I really took a look at the instincts. I like the videos you posted btw. I let an sp/sx friend listen to them in the car yesterday and he was like, yeah that's me, for sp/sx.

[Olimpia]

You're jumping to very firm, incorrect, one-dimensional conclusions based on small amounts of information

Haha, perhaps this is my Ti HA coming out.

[Beautiful sky]

I have two SLE friends who would take all of y'all

[summerprincess]

A disgusting set of ethics there in your hands, I am right not to trust you.

Edit: Looks like your friend @Aylen is no better.

Wow seriously? Chill tf out

[Olimpia]

I have two SLE friends who would take all of y'all

Haha, bet'cha.

[Myst]

Nope, you poked by "somebody is wrong on the internet" button. And I'm sx/so.

Have you ever considered that you're not Ni-leading? You're jumping to very firm, incorrect, one-dimensional conclusions based on small amounts of information, which I usually associate with Ni-HA or Ni-demonstrating - I'd expect more sophisticated use of Ni from an Ni-base type, or at least more scope for uncertainty in the presentation.

You also do these firm conclusions yourself. SisOfNight's suggestion that it is Ti HA makes sense. Both of you display greater Ni than Ni HA, for sure. I have no problem seeing both of you as IEI.

Also your Ti HA isn't better than hers, you seem to misunderstand her posts too easily; where you tried to explain to her that behaviours can have manifold motivations, you were banging on open doors as she herself already mentioned some of those motivations. Using some of them to show how some IEIs actually do go to the gym. She was also speaking of relative trends, nothing absolute.

So it was weird reading your reply to her as it looked like you didn't really read her post.

Also if you like to consider many different motivations, why do you try to retype her based on just a few posts?

[Beautiful sky]

Yeah but I'm not really into anything that stereotypical SLEs are (boxing, sports, engineering, cars, etc) other than some of my music taste which tends to be pretty Se-oriented. So if I don't share their interests how do I meet them?

Not all sle like competitive events. They may get competitive within something that they choose to do for instance. An SLE builder may want to become the best or most recognized.

You may meet SLE in dating sites in outdoor theater events

[epheme]

My SLE's newest thing is joining a boxing a gym... Not that I really know how you'd just casually hang around one of those

[ScarlettLux]

Go to shows, metal, rap, punk shows? I feel like many Se doms love festivals and energetic concerts etc. No wait, make an LSI friend which will be a lot easier because I find activation partners tend to run more in the same circles and have an easier time connecting. Then eventually the LSI will have an SLE friend.

[Olimpia]

No wait, make an LSI friend which will be a lot easier because I find activation partners tend to run more in the same circles and have an easier time connecting. Then eventually the LSI will have an SLE friend.

There are actually a couple of LSI guys in my film class... (No SLE ones.)

Maybe I really should befriend one.

But the problem is, it is not easy to be "just friends" with an Aggressor ST guy, haha.

[Persephone]

50%, no 75% of the deal: be hot, not just cute but HOOOT. SLEs are more into looks than any other guys.
If you fall out of regular look landscape, they will consider the approach.
Smile and be friendly (no need to be mellow), they love to be around positive and optimistic people.
Also speak your mind (in a diplomatic way, not like they do ), they love witty persons who can challenge them a bit.
Be fun and have fun. Don't plan your wedding or babies. "Where do we stand in our relationship" is to forget.
Give them attention. Then stop. Then give again. Then disappear. Then come back. They love the chase.

[GreenCoyote]

How do I attract SLEs ... I don't seem to meet many and they are my duals. Should I just try to seem as doe-eyed and artsy as possible? Also if anybody could give me tips on recognizing them it would be much appreciated. I feel like with the one I know I am always the one initiating our hangouts which bothers me! But he doesn't seem to mind, but shouldn't he because he's technically the aggressor? - Thanks

The one SLE I know, If I am getting his type right. he might be SEE. anyway. should be a similar ballpark, He is always getting into fights, it's only lately we have been able to be friends because I don't tolerate fights and he has calmed down some and become more responsible lately. but when they are young. they are the jocks, small limited worldview (might depend on upbringing) and is always landing in predicaments. Luckily they always can manage to get themselves out of them. Makes sense why they go for high paying jobs because the one I know needs money to constantly get him out of trouble.

Thats what they look like stereotypically, or at least the one I know.

What really bonded this particular ESTp to me was when I went into a deeper place myself and spoke about my struggles with a mental disorder I am dealing with.

The next day he was offering to pay for anything I needed and said he would have my back no matter what. This all would have been quite helpful when I was younger and getting picked on all the time but now that I am an adult I hardly need that kind of protection. although its always nice to hear. I'd say there instincts come out when You let them know how hard a situation is for you. If you really show pain they will respond and treat you in a nice way. the one I know was asked why he liked me so much and he said (paraphrasing my emotions the night before. "He basically said the struggle is real".

They respect people who are dealing with things and keep fighting for their survival.

[GreenCoyote]

one last thing. The ESTp I know says he will only date white girls that are blonde. Later I caught him with a brunette and I joked with him saying he broke his rule! to which he replied he will date a brunette but they have to dye their hair blond when he's dating them.

They have a lot of superficial rules but they are open to modifying them.
better just to see their good nature and let them see yours and build a bond on that, stupid rules really shouldn't mean much in the long run anyway.