What make you sx first?
I am curious to hear what made you sx-firsts determine that you are, in fact, sx first?
It's fine to comment on each other's descriptions with regards to how much you relate (or don't relate), but please no retyping or "this is not sx-related" or "this is sp first," etc.
PS: Can someone correct the title, please?
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
I took an on-line test before I knew anything about the test or what it was measuring, and got sx/so as a result. I had no idea what it meant at the time, so I couldn't subconsciously skew the results to make it come out one way or the other.
If I look at the three instincts as being ways to find safety in the world, with sx types finding safely through a few deep relationships, so through belonging to a group or having an extended friends network, and sp as having a lot of stuff to provide security or having a certain amount of money in the bank, then I am definitely sx/so. I most need a few good friends whom I can count on, then an extended friend network for getting things done, and I don't care much about having stuff. I have stuff, but I really don't care about it. I could throw it all out tomorrow and I'd be fine, so long as I can keep a credit card, a driver's license (or passport, depending on where I am), and the contact list on my phone. Stuff won't save your ass when you get into trouble, but good friends will.
With respect to one example that confirmed that I am sx-first, when I divorced my wife, I started researching factors which might have caused the breakup, and started looking for someone who will be more permanent. She, on the other hand, went out and bought a $1200 vacuum cleaner and says she is not looking at all. Guess which instinct is first for her?
Last edited by Adam Strange; 09-17-2015 at 06:30 PM.
I am not sure if I can answer this without alienating or repelling half the forum.
Maybe I will post links to some threads where I talked about my sx first behavior, which started in early childhood, and could have killed me a few times over if my secondary instinct, or guardian spirits, didn't rush in to save me. It was not all self destructive behavior either. Mostly just looking for that rush of intensity and desire to experience everything on a very deep, intimate, level. I have never been single long and my relationships tend to go from hanging out a few times, right into living together. I have lived with every bf I have had starting around age 14. My mom reluctantly let me move a 17 year old bf in when I was 14 so I would stop running away to be with him.
Edit: a link to 14 year old me.
Last edited by Aylen; 09-19-2015 at 10:43 AM.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
I'm not all that attached to any typing, and have considered various stackings, but:
"When Sexual Ones find a partner who they believe shares their values, they become extremely excited and highly protective of their relationship. They may also idealize the partner, constantly striving to feel worthy of the other's love. Nonetheless, anxieties about the partner's losing the shared values may cause Sexual Ones to become critical of the other. They want to remind the partner of the high standards that they both live by but they can create problems in the relationship by trying to keep the other "on track." Nonetheless, they are passionate about their intimates and devoted to keeping their relationships moving toward higher ground."
and
"May be preoccupied with their romantic partner. Have high expectations based on having idealized their beloved. . . One's reaction is jealous judgment if their beloved acts in less-than-ideal ways. Jealous Ones may drive partners away with endless criticism. Can have a dependent tendency related to the low side of 2. Most intimate Ones have a 2 wing"
are unfortunately true for me and this has been a real struggle to try to overcome. I'm extremely jealous, possessive and some might say controlling, and I damn well don't want to be. The other stackings don't apply to me in this way as being so descriptive of a very real problem I have. I can see some sp in general in me, but the sp 1 descriptions are foreign to me and the so 1 has some application but still doesn't describe me.
For general, non-1 stacking descriptions: elements of every stacking seem to apply, but I have in the past given up everything else for sx, and would again. My personal safety, security, social connections and belonging matters less to me, but they do compete. For example, knowing my family does or would disapprove of someone or something does make it harder for me, but in the end, it doesn't stop me. Even knowing I'd have to completely give up all my family connections wouldn't stop me, but it would be very hard. It is difficult because they are really my only connections, support, and place where I feel somewhat understood. Giving up my home and possessions is easier. That I could do without much struggle. One thing that probably overrides all 3 instincts though, is my sense of responsibility. If someone is depending on me, if they need me, that is more important than anything else at the moment. I protect my life and avoid risks because of other people rather than myself, and it sometimes frustrates me that I have to do so, but I always will uphold my obligations and responsibilities. Maybe that is social instinct, but it doesn't feel like it, because it is only for specific people, not towards any organization or group or anything.
I feel like I understand and can empathize with the needs of all 3 instincts, because like every other human, I have all the instincts as well, but I think I have more empathy for sx and maybe even so more than sp. I get not wanting to be ostracized (so) that makes sense to me, I can understand that need and fear, but I find it difficult to understand someone whose safety and comfort is more important to them than anything else. So, I'm sure that I am not sp primary. However, because of how easily and naturally I take care of sp things without much thought, I also don't think it's my blind spot. I don't have quite the devil-may-care attitude I kind of envy in many sx/so types. I'm too responsible to be as irresponsible as I'd like hehe. I'm also 100% sure I'm not sx-last. The idea is kind of laughable. I don't mind if people think I am, or were to type me that way, because sp/so and so/sp are so often seen as undesirable types to be around here, that nobody seems to want to be them. I don't mind filling the quota or whatever though, because it seems to me that a lot of people use typings to feel better about themselves in some way, almost as a source of pride. I don't. So, if someone wants to say, "squark is sooo sp/so because blah blah and I am NOTHING like her so I'm sx-first" that's fine with me.
Obsession and self-absorption(more sp side of it)
Because I instinctively desire to get in tune with others and tend to experience most things more intensely than I have the right to.
Because... I relate so pertinently to this quote, my favourite quote by Kurt Vonnegut:
"I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can’t see from the center."
And this one by fellow sx/so Henry Rollins: .
"I want a soulmate who can sit me down, shut me up, tell me ten things I don't already know, and make me laugh. I don't care what you look like, just turn me on. And if you can do that, I will follow you on bloody stumps through the snow. I will nibble your mukluks with my own teeth. I will do your windows. I will care about your feelings. Just have something in there!"
An sx can recognize another sx easily. It's all about intensity.
If someone says they're sx because of some non-sx-related thing, we shouldn't call them sx, nor should we not continue to raise the question of what it "is" or how it operates.Originally Posted by Kim
I don't really feel adept at answering this question in a way that properly conveys what I understand sx to be without generalizing my whole experience to the point where all people can relate to it. A lot of my understanding comes how a person presents themselves with their immediate expenditure of psychological energy, so it's tough to quantify outside of personal impressions I've gathered over years of observation. And talking about these observations in terms of a person's "energy" gets rife with personal interpretation, so I tread with caution.
If it's at all possible (note: it is), I'd avoid the word "intense" completely when describing sx types. I've come to find it a really shitty word to describe the phenomenon, because people seem to just conflate it w/ having high energy levels. I don't consider myself to be particularly "intense," and I don't see many other self-typed sx-firsts (particularly sx/sps) like that either. The thing I see more is a certain internal reactivity, an uncensored spontaneous burst of inner energy even if there's not a lot of it. This type of internal awareness also leads a valuing and respect of that internal reactivity in others. You'll often find Sx-firsts looking for ways to gently poke at people in order to get a rise out of them, to check and see if they're alive inside. I remember discojoe, an old LSI sx/sp member, would often ask people these weird semi-rude-but-not-quite-rude-enough-to-make-you-angry questions just to see how they'd react. "Are you a grower or a shower?" "If you could have sex with any animal..." etc. There's a certain compulsion to trigger something uncomfortably reactionary in people, themselves included. It's not by definition sadistic or masochistic behavior, and I don't often see sx-firsts bemoaning over their inner turmoil unless particularly stressed.
Sx-secondary types will sorta play along with these solicitations for internal reactivity, but I don't often see them initiate it. Sx-lasts can and do experience a certain inner restlessness depending on how neurotic + energetic the type gets, but they don't readily express this in a very reactive manner. It can sound very matter-of-fact and unpoetic to someone who's much more aware of their internal dynamism and acts it out more readily.
Last edited by Galen; 09-18-2015 at 06:22 PM.
In this thread, people should get the opportunity to describe how they perceive themselves without someone barging in and yelling "lololol you are not sx first." It's more productive to get a number of self-assessments than having a few people decide who is "allowed" to call themselves sx-first.
You can raise raise questions or retype people in other threads.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
Why I identify as sx first...
Tldr: I guess in summary, I totally identify with the 'hungry ghost' descriptions of sx.
IEE 649 sx/sp cp
When I fall for someone (as in, really fall in love), I latch onto the person and become obsessed, not only with the guy himself, but his life. I want to know everything about him, from childhood illnesses to previous relationships to every single detail of his career, etc. I try not to be intrusive and needy and generally succeed, but I love it when they talk about themselves because I feel like they let me in. When the person needs space, I can understand it intellectually, but I am still hurt and feel rejected ("how can you claim to love me and not spend every minute with me?"). My sx-first ex and I were always in close proximity at home (in the same room, right next to each other) and that felt right. I want to share everything with them, especially experiences. The best thing my current love interest said to me was "I want to make moments and memories with you." Experiences and adventures are the most important thing of my life and if I can share them with that one person, I am truly happy. The more exciting and new, the better.
I want them to be part of my life in every shape and form even if they can't actively participate in everything. I understand that they sometimes can't be part of all of it, but I want them to want to be. SLE won't be able to travel much with me because of job restrictions, but I know he would love to and that's good enough. I have to force myself to keep my own life to make sure I can cope with losing the person. But my natural inclination is to go all in, make all the sacrifices, and find all the compromises to engage fully with the person. While I love that person and he loves me back, I am intensely loyal because I cannot conceive of connecting with someone else like this because my focus is fully on him. I tend to idealize the person and I get hurt easily when I feel criticized or neglected. I can get extremely depressed, anxious, and/or angry if things are not right in my relationship and it can be extremely difficult to keep my life together in that case.
However, if the person wrongs me and my loyalty, I am done. Because I feel so strongly about the relationship and give it to so much space in my life, I feel wronged and betrayed if someone takes advantage or cheats or lies about his feelings. I want him to be either all in or not at all. I would never go back to a previous relationship because that bond has been compromised. When I have been betrayed, I move on fairly quickly.
When I decide I want something, I go after it. I decided at 16 that I wanted to live in the U.S. and have worked towards that since then. I sacrificed financial security and a comfortable life with a high salary and being close to my family and a support network for my current career and for living in the U.S. I decided to go for a degree with which I ran a legitimate risk of not finding a job. I have been vulnerable for 16 years with regards to losing a job or not being able to function because that would have meant losing everything, including my visa, and having to leave and start over. When I had cancer, my doctor suggested that I go back home to have a support network and time to recover (and free treatment). But I was not willing to risk my career and my visa, so I decided to tough it out alone. My doctors did not like it because of possible complications, but for me it was the only way, so I took the risk.
When I am interested in an issue, I want to know everything about it (which is why my career is pretty perfect). I read everything I can find, talk to people, and write about it, until something else comes along. I do shift from one thing to the next, but while I am on something, I am obsessed with it.
I can take care of myself and my obligations, but I readily spend money and otherwise sacrifice for a person, a goal, or a cause. I would drive six hours to an airport if it means I can see my loved one for 30 minutes or buy a ticket and fly around the world to meet someone for a day. It's exciting to me and I don't care about losing money, time, and other opportunities. I cashed out my retirement fund so I can live close to the beach and lost quite a bit of money over it, but it was entirely worth it.
Last edited by Kim; 09-20-2015 at 06:18 AM.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
I realize that non-sx-firsts do these things, too, but I think the difference is how much you agonize over not feeling secure. It has never been priority for me and I have a pretty high tolerance for discomfort. I would like to a have someone who takes on building the home base because I am not good at it and I don't find it important or exciting enough to bother much beyond the basics. But if I had to chose between the comfortable and stable and secure home base and throwing all our money into a 3-year trip around the world and worrying about what we will do after later, I would take the trip.
Last edited by Kim; 09-20-2015 at 02:09 PM.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
I strongly identify with all of the bolded, and feel the same way. And this "I would drive six hours to an airport if it means I can see my loved one for 30 minutes or buy a ticket and fly around the world to meet someone for a day" I've done something similar to this, several times. Driven an hour to the airport, taken a 3 hour flight only to have an hour with someone, and then flown 3 hours back, and the hour drive back home. And then repeated the whole thing again sometime later. And I'd do it again - although once I nearly missed my flight back, and it was the last flight of the day back home. The little bit of time was worth all of it.
I usually see this in any sx-type, although its manifestations will vary depending on main type. I haven't seen Pookie do anything particularly extreme when it comes to poking at people, it usually seems more like light-hearted goofery instead of the heavier, potentially more invasive examples w/ discojoe. I also remember one night on tinychat with Transkar doing something very similar, asking people lots of personal sex-related questions.
idk, i attribute that style of invasiveness to the fact that discojoe and Transkar are trolls, lol
I mean sure, but I don't see any non-sx-first types doing similar things. Their examples are more extreme, so they stand out more.
Nu-uh!
Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.
Edit: Re: feeling like I don't belong... I feel like an alien sometimes, at one point literally, and looked for a group that focused on the issues of being an alien being in this world. A bunch of people who felt special and unique from each other and the rest of the world but we all got along great and it felt almost like family. There were some conflicts but not of a human nature. lol
Last edited by Aylen; 09-21-2015 at 05:44 PM.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
Well, to be fair, you do throw some pebbles now and then. I have not seen any rocks, yet, but I will stay out of your way if you bring out the boulders. An IEI with a boulder...
I poke people for reaction all the time but I do not have a 6 in my tritype. Irl I know how they will respond and it is so predictable and funny.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
I spoke about why I do it in the male hierarchy thread, but it could have been a post defacto rationalization. However the throw rocks thing, I think I was talking about effecting change. If youre not throwing rocks theres no reason for people to listen to you unless they want to. Throw rocks.Well, to be fair, you do throw some pebbles now and then. I have not seen any rocks, yet, but I will stay out of your way if you bring out the boulders. An IEI with a boulder...
I poke people for reaction all the time but I do not have a 6 in my tritype. Irl I know how they will respond and it is so predictable and funny.
Personally though, I dont do it to get a rise out of people. I poke people because I genuinely think being sensitive about stuff isnt healthy and the only way to develop thicker skin is to get desensitized to it.
Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.
Ahh, I wonder if I missed that post, probably. I would like to read more about this 6 thing with poking, because I seem to be surrounded by people with 6 in their tritype. I usually feel people out to see how far I can go. I don't think I am trying to change anything but more like making someone aware of something.
I am learning new skills all the time. I am not particularly sensitive, anymore, since some of my friends took care of that, but sometimes someone knows which buttons to push. I don't like giving people the satisfaction of knowing they got under my skin so I may hold back a bit when responding. If I react instead of respond it is a whole different story.
When it comes to "rocks" I usually tell people to kick them, or eat them. Depending on my mood.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
I get this way w/ old school groups. The prospect of visiting my old high school mortifies me, because I expect all the teachers who are still there to see me and make a hubbub about my being there. I've always hated the idea of "catching up." If we've fallen out of contact, then it probably means there wasn't much keeping us connected in the first place other than physical proximity. The number of people I've ever wanted to actively keep in contact with has been vanishingly small. However this is probably much more of a non-so thing. Oh well.
Last edited by Galen; 09-21-2015 at 07:23 PM.
I initially self-typed sp/sx, until I learned that sx encompassed much more than sexuality, and saw the way I approached exercise and substances as a shining exemplar of it... and I'm not sure to what extent self-typing sx-primary influenced or enabled more explosive/self-destructive behaviors/lifestyles, but whatever, it's resonated since.
in general I tend to float about the periphery in anticipation (I attribute part of this to Se dual-seeking -- the impulse has to be complete or doesn't exist), and as soon as I catch wind of something remotely interesting/stimulating, I go all in. it's kind of nice, I've never really minded living in such black-and-white terms... and even though my sp is last, I can always say no or 'turn off' if I need to... impetuous absolutes, more or less.
I've also noticed that as part of this, my impulses tend to sometimes become compartmentalized. like I can have a relationship that I'm completely engrossed in, but as soon as something feels off or a variable changes, it immediately gets 'boxed in' to another reality and another pursuit/impulse (possible temporarily, possibly not) takes its place. being Ni/Se might influence this as well (its temporality tends to be a bit more 'segmented' than that of Ne/Si).
4w3-5w6-8w7
It really seems like the easiest long-term relationship I had was not with my dual (who is sp/sx I believe), but with another sx-first person (SLE). Move aside, Socionics. When it comes to compatibility, enneagram is where it's at.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
Sx firsts are extremely picky for the reasons i've stated above. Sx firsts dont constantly have to be in a relationship. Like i said, it doesnt bring me any joy if im not feeling that this person is special. But when I dont have someone (im in love with), i feel empty.
That's sx first. sp/sx want to always have someone regardless if they feel something special for them. Of course they like to be in love like anyone else, but theyre more practical, and likes to always have physical(sp) intimicy (for example, giving up a long distance relationship for another local person, because physical intimacy). sx often wants to maintain it no matter how shitty or abusive, or unpractical it is, because they dont want to lose the connection and spark they have. They feel like they will never love again.When I do fall in love, I lock on and can only see them, and it's very difficult for me to break away from this person, even if they've turned out to be toxic. I will spend years in a shitty relationship because of this, whereas most people would have broken it off and quickly moved on. I think this is a quality of sp/sx in particular.
I'm sp/sx and relate a lot to starfall.
Sp/sx - They are slow to commit, but once they do it is with an attitude of life commitment, to the establishment of an impermeable bond. Others can be taken aback by how suddenly and completely this type can lock into them, and by the depth of understanding of the other's condition.
https://oceanmoonshine9.wordpress.com/type-stackings/
I tend to think that sx firsts can be more fickle in their attempt to find and maintain that elusive spark, while sp firsts can latch on fiercely, more concerned with roots and a sense of "home" and continuity. (i don't think this translates into propensity to cheat or anything like that.)
That has more to do with what kind of attachment triad you are than instinct.
http://www.fitzel.ca/enneagram/ObjectRelns.html
Sx firsts are more aware of attraction and spark, though. That is what sx is.
What you're saying is in line with sx first and not sp/sx. Why do you think youre not sx first?
Last edited by maniac; 08-03-2016 at 12:39 PM.
in the past i've always become deeply obsessive with all of my thoughts and feelings coming to revolve around the other person... and i definitely don't want to lose him, ever. i may have changed this about myself by now though, i don't know, in part because i decided it was abnormal... but mainly i'm tired of the suffering it causes and i just don't want to do it again... but i won't really know until next time (if there is a next time).
generally though i'm not actively looking for someone to do be with (i am *rarely* in a relationship) and i move that aspect entirely into my mind/fantasy life. i suppose i did that originally to cope because after i lost the first person i was with romantically i (dramatically) just didn't want to live anymore. the first year after was full of intense suffering and longing and every day was painful. no one else could ever be him, and so i wasn't interested in anyone. the year after that was more a milder background pain and that was when i started using fictional characters to break the rest of the connection.
it took a long time to get over, so long that once i was finally free of that attachment it stuck out as a terrible lesson. and i remember the moment the attachment finally let me go (it felt like *it* was letting *me* go), i saw it (it=all those feelings through the years) come out of me and disappear through my bedroom window, and it was like i had been under this choke hold for so long and could finally breathe again. i don't want to repeat that sort of experience/ordeal ever again. however, the obsessive pattern has reemerged a couple times (it's amazing how once in a relationship, i flip into this... it's almost like i become an sx first?), and i've spent a lot of time working on myself to prevent this from recurring. too much of me becomes merged with the other person and it costs me too much after they leave.
i type sp-first because of my need for sanctuary where no one can intrude on my privacy or alone-time. because instincts are so confusing, i've considered other stacks, like so/sp... it all depends on interpretation. i don't really relate to the intense lifestyle interpretation of sx, so if that is what it is, it may be sx last while i'm just relationally obsessive. the only way i would live a more intense lifestyle would probably be if it was initiated by a romantic partner, but i crave things from the underground in general, and i am attracted to the "intense lifestyle" in my mind (i'm deliberately being vague). my preference of hiding from the world seems kind of sp first to me--but depending on interpretation it could be socially maladaptive so-first.
one interpretation of sx-first can be that they actually go through a lot of partners because they first and foremost are seeking an intense connection, and simply because every relationship is intense doesn't mean it's the kind of ideal connection they are after (the idealism can lead to always seeking ever more intensity?). i'd also expect more of an intense push-pull in relationships than what i do--i'm more "boring," stable and devotional. i think that sp-first could be more likely to hang onto one person and one deep connection for dear life: "i can't live without *you* in particular" sort of obsessive thing.
my emotional well-being (sp) depends on this connection (sx) ?
Last edited by marooned; 08-03-2016 at 05:35 PM.
This idea i've found is not accurate. There are many celebrities that arent sx first that have a strong presence (8s in particular) and repels and attracts people strongly. Take Donald Trump for example, sp/so, people either love him or hate him. Mostly hate but yeah. And there are sx firsts that are 'likeable' that dont make a really strong impression, too. I also think it depends on how open and talkative you are.
This sounds like sp yeah.Plus, it's quite clear that I'm sp first. I'm unlikely to take risks if it means comprimizing my own sense of comfort. For example, I'd love nothing more but to travel the world and live a nomadic lifestyle, but my fear of something bad happening and not having a safe nest to return home to prevents me from doing such a thing. I'm more about preserving my nest. This does not translate into my love life, though.
I can control myself form acting out on impulses. Not really when romantic feelings are involved. Anyway, if you feel like that is what you is, that's awesome. I don't know you so I can't tell what you are.I also believe that I have a stronger sense of pride and control than most sx firsts in that I better controll myself from acting out on crazy impulses, even if I'm burning inside... unless of course, I'm drunk or under the influence of another substance, but in order to prevent that I don't drink, I'd rather take something to numb the feeling away.
It just sounded like sx from what yoou said initialy. I guess it depends on your type too.
This is exactly like me and something that I associate with sx/sp rather than sp/sx. However, having said that, I trust your typing of yourself and if you think you are sp/sx I have no reason to doubt that. So, maybe sx/sp and sp/sx can be very similar in this way? Or maybe I'm actually sp/sx (although I would doubt it)?
Hopeless romanticism.
No, it is more sx. Im not sure of the difference in women and men. The only sp/sx for sure, that Ive spoken to have been men, and they are the way i said in my posts. An sp/sx friend of mine has commitment issues and doesn't like being tied down to one person. Not for long, anyways. He is in his 50s and has never been married. But he likes to sleep around alot and have open relationships with no intense feelings. Another sp/sx friend, has no issue with committing, but he will leave the relationship if it's getting too unhealthy and draining. Not saying that sp/sx wouldnt want an intense bond like that, but they're more practical and realistic. Whereas sx wants to commit fast and hard which can scare people off, if we don't control ourselves. Starfalls is more close to sx because she puts sx before sp, literally.
It may be that sx first is more common with women. It wouldnt surprise me.
Last edited by maniac; 08-08-2016 at 08:13 AM.
I dont know enough about him to type him. The vibe i get is sp/sx but could be sx/sp too, or sp/so. Long distance relationships arent exclusive to sx first. Especially when this guy had it great financially. He couldn't lose on anything to go see her really.
I'm sorry, but what kind of retarded question is this?but at the same time, look at how cringy he is with his gf... is sx first always this cringy? It doesn't even look like they've had sex yet.
1. You already type certain people as sx first so this shouldn't be hard to figure out? Use your brain for once and think of how they act.
2. If you had SOME common knowledge and ability to use your brain, you would know a certain type, or instinct stack does not make all of those types/people with that instinct stack the same person with same level of cringiness.
/over and out
Didn't exactly trigger me, just was tired of peoples stupidity, and you're one of the dumb people here. Like when you think that certain celebrities can't be certain types because superficial traits that arent IE related. Like Tila Tequila or that Mira girl can't be IEI. Same stupidity.
Last edited by maniac; 08-21-2016 at 09:14 AM.
Why?
What makes me SX first... I could write an essay but I think this allegory sums up my terrestrial existence pretty well instead (SX the fire, SP the rig, SO the setting):
Never even considering benching someone
"In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is." - Yogi Berra
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I think I used to write a lot of my insights in that group and some people felt like they knew me but it is more one-sided since I don't think they shared as much as I did.
When the two of us were together we stirred things up but it was always her who would realize that we were going "too far" and she would reign me in. She has never been single either, until recently, (I don't imagine she will be long) but she had a child and all that sx energy is being directed toward raising a socially aware and responsible little human being, who will change the planet and take care of it. It is like a complete turn around from how she was. I knew our friendship would change when she had kids but I didn't realize how much. She still indulges in previous interests, when she can, but now the child comes first, which is how it should be, but I lack the mothering gene or maybe it has been modified. I don't know.
