@glam
Regarding being defriended, there's a number of reasons it can happen; from maybe they thought you weren't active anymore, to maybe they thought they were being bothersome to you, etc. I see nothing wrong with asking them. In fact, asking them would let them know that
a) you noticed (which, when you have a lot of friends, noticing they're gone means quite a lot!), and
b) that you cared enough about the connection to try to understand what may have happened.
Yes, it may make someone uncomfortable if they, for whatever reason, just wanted to end things with you (difficult to imagine that in relation to you, personally), but imo the potential reconnection outweighs the potential discomfort.
There was disdain in this thread directed at people with lower numbers, enough so that they were accused of not being the socionics types they claim to be. And even suggestions that those with lower numbers are the outsiders. I think what you're seeing is more of a reactiveness to that than actual disdain for what others do with their own fb lists.i think instinct stackings might be coming into play here. most of the people responding in this thread might be so-lasts (?), and i'm getting the feeling that there's almost some kind of general disdain here towards having friends on FB for reasons other than maintaining a deeper or significant connection. it's like some people feel "used" otherwise, maybe? i don't personally feel that way, and tbh it's making me feel like kind of an outsider ITT...
This isn't to say that some people might not feel like they're being used simply to add to someone else's perceived popularity. But I think that has more to do with personal expectations, desires, etc, and how the other person seems to be treating them..or not treating them. This, however, would apply to whatever the number.
Personally, I'd have a hard time thinking that of you. You would likely be one of the people I would keep on my list, as I can't imagine not being curious about you. Even if you don't post anything personal. I would still get to see the times that you've liked/shared something, and that alone would expand my understandings of you...and the world..a bit.based on people's viewpoints here, it seems like i might come across as one of those people others assume "don't care" about them, based on my own behavior on social media (i feel like i do care in my own way, even if from a distance...) i know that maybe i may come across as unavailable, unknowable...
I have one person on my list who only gets on fb maybe once a year.
Another who lives in a town next to me, but we talk only maybe twice a year.
My mother, who I feel close to, doesn't comment or post to anything of mine when she is on (maybe once a month), in fact we generally only talk on the phone maybe 4x a year. She is, however, one of the reasons I signed on to facebook.
I can't imagine deleting any of them from my friends list.
imo, Part of the enjoyment of introverts is that it takes so long to get to know them, and even then I never really feel as if I do. This keeps my curiosity active.
Btw, one of my more active friends that I enjoy very much isn't even someone that I talk with beyond a comment here or there on some meme she posted. Even on the forum here we don't particularly talk to each other. I'm pretty sure she doesn't care much one way or another whether I am her fb friend. But I really like most of the stuff she posts, and I like/share so much of them I worry she might get annoyed by all the notifications of my having done so.
Another friend is a photographer who I've never really conversed with. I'm pretty sure she's unfollowed me, but I don't care. I've enjoyed seeing her photos and hearing about her photography awards, and as she starts getting paid for some of her photos. I'm so happy for her, and rooting for her, and admire her...even though she probably doesn't even remember how we became fb 'friends'.
I mention the above to try to demonstrate that even though I now prefer my numbers to be low, that we aren't all that different. We can care about others without needing to be in intimate nor regular contact with them.
Yes, exactly.maybe making FB friends is not that different from IRL. people expect different things from their relationships and friendships, and it's when these expectations aren't met that misunderstanding and conflict starts.



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