Do aggressors want loyalty, or do they want to be loved, and it is important to them that you stick around to do that? If someone truly loves someone else, they want what is best for that person, and is willing to let them go if that will make them better. Think of how truly loving parents treat their children.
I think, if you told an aggressor that you loved them, they would be very, very pleased, and would immediately go out and try to get more people to love them, because now their self-esteem just got a boost, and being loved is what they care about. That has just been my experience with some of the guys I've hung with, and your mileage probably varies. Incidentally, I think the whole PUA thing is really screwed up. I've never approached anyone that way, because I'm not looking to be loved, I'm looking for someone worthwhile to love. That's a better Victim definition, in my opinion, but I could see how that might appear to someone who is writing those articles out of thin air and who is trying to make sense out of observed behavior, that I'm acting like I'm the "prize" that is only given to someone worthwhile. But that ain't the way it is. I'm not a prize to be won (that's laughable), I'm a force for good. I try to make the lives of the people I come into contact with better, but I'm selfish enough to want to (usually, but not always) contribute time and effort to people who can contribute back equally. Maybe that means someone who is "worthy", although LIE's can be pretty altruistic sometimes.
Well, good idea. I will. Niffer, are you listening? What do you think?



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