Well... uhhhmm... it's hard to answer. It's one of those things anybody can copy, you know? You say you don't have facebook, you say you're shy and introverted, then you see other people already amping it up to claim they're outright autistic. It's something with the U.S. culture nowadays that I'd call the "exhaustion of the entertainment." You see it in indie music videos, you see it in the "lumberjack hipsters"... nobody is really owning up their extroversion, their sociality. And most of all, nobody takes online friendships, online socialization as de facto instances of being social!
I'm a 6 (too) so I do think one close friends circle is not enough. But I guess I have to admit being guilty about not really trying hard... or being picky... or I dunno. I just have these strong reactions when it comes to people. There are a few beautiful moments that I cherish in my memory. When I was in a state of flow with people, with a group out there on the green, playing. I actually had a social childhood and I really miss those moments. I've never wanted to be an outcast, a rebel, whatnot. I've never wanted to be stuck-up, cold or snotty. I really want to find my people. People used to be heaven, we have pictures in the photo album with all the kids from the apartments invited to my birthday party. I remember us huddling together when watching a film or playing a video game on my first computer. It really was something. I don't know what's with these days. No more fire at the camp site. No more warmth, no more love. What has happened here, people?? Why does everyone have to be so damn special, so damn cynical?? On their smartphones all the time. Millenial asswipes.
No, I want love, I want friends, I want safety... it's just that it's becoming harder and harder to imagine what it was like, how good it really was. I want the green, I want the laughter, I want the innocence and hope for the future.



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