Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
My ex-wife was my superviser, an SLI. Sorry if I didn't make that clear.
So, I kind of have some idea about what an IEI experiences around me, and yes, I know there is mutual attraction. Her Ni is better than mine, and my Se is better than hers, so we admire each other. The problem occurs because she might wish for more Te, but absolutely is not able to put my suggestions into practice. This is a source of great frustration for her, and I have dealt with it by never offering her unsolicited advice, and even refrained from offering advice when she asked. The correct reply is, "I have total faith that you will be able to solve this on your own." If she persists, the correct response is, "Well, I ran into that problem in the past, and this is what I did, but you will probably be able to come up with a better solution." But that is no way to live a life, long term.
Huh? You mean being considerate of your partner's beliefs and feelings, being aware that she is different, and allowing her some freedom in learning to do things on her own while still being able to consider your advice (with the choice to dismiss if it isn't useful for her)? I dunno maybe your advice is golden and it is upsetting when someone cannot follow it so you withhold.

I thought that was just part of being mature in a relationship and learning that your way is not always the right way for others. Offering advice is often appreciated if you tailor it to the person asking when approaching the issues and not push it on them. Seems to get easier the more you invest emotionally and care about the relationship. At least for me.

I don't see you doing anything really wrong here. You could possibly lead with, "Well, I ran into that problem in the past, and this is what I did, but you will probably be able to come up with a better solution." then follow with, "I have total faith that you will be able to solve this on your own [though]." instead of being stubborn and refusing to give advice until begged to. Do you have trouble accepting her as she is and this is too hard for you to do this on an ongoing basis? All relationships will have some kind of issues, even duals. I have had a terrible relationship with a dual. We were so immature.