Quote Originally Posted by glam View Post
i think the feeling you mention of being "insulted" can also apply to Fi demonstrations of affection (as bad as that sounds). something about it is not necessarily sincere to me, maybe because Fi knows "exactly what to say" in interpersonal situations. it can feel like they are saying what they think i want to hear, when i really need to hear the cold, hard truth

i prefer Ti subtypes, of course. i realized that i've often felt attracted to men that are "in the background" or whom i otherwise detect have a more reserved & distrustful side to them than their more positive, energetic public face may suggest. this description generally applies to many XLE-Ti subs, IMO.
Ah, I actually do not experience this frustration you have described about Fi types being "insincere". I just accept it, haha. You must mean SEE and IEE, whose Fi is "Creative" and hence rather flexible. IME, ESI and EII are way less likely to just tell you what you want to hear; they may manipulate you in other ways, but not in the sense of Fe Demonstrative, "softening the blows". ESI and EII would be more prone to manipulating you into the direction of their personal Fi agenda, whereas Fi Creative people will more likely (albeit sort of sporadically) create a positive emotional atmosphere. I actually do not mind that. You finding that upsetting is likely an Fe subtype thing. My ESE mother, for instance, is getting upset every time my SEE aunt is being "nice" to her (Fe Demonstrative), just to later show she did not really mean it and was just looking for a way to have no harsh conflict. Every time, I will tell my ESE mother "that's how my aunt is, she does not mean it badly".

So, it likely must be an Fe thing of needing that Ti honesty, especially for Fe Leading and Fe subtype people.
Me being strong Ni subtype with "boosted" Ti, I do not have such a need for that. Sure, I appreciate the kind of honesty Ti types provide, but it is nothing I am looking for that much. The way how SEE and IEE use their Fi is acceptable to me, if only slightly irritating. I'm facing much more difficulties with Fi leading types, whose Fi is static and not "creative". Like @Adam Strange said, an Fe user has to learn first that the "glass plate" of the Fi lead is there and can break irrevocably. I've had an ESI friend end our several years long, close friendship because of a little "prank" I did to her. I was very confused and sad about that incidence. I have had similar problems with an LIE online, with whom I would converse and suddenly commit similar "Fi blunders". He'd take it better than the ESI, but it was still a similar situation. This might be the downfall of the IEI-2Ni, a greater lack of Fi awareness or care, opposed to the IEI-Fe who's more in touch with Fi as well.

Finally, I could see most women being more drawn to the guy who is not displaying too many emotions, regardless of specific Sociotype. Studies have shown women prefer men to have less expressive faces, whereas men prefer women to smile, when it comes to attraction. However, I could see those findings being tied to most women being Ethical types, preferring Logical ones who have weaker Feeling, and vice versa. In that context, I can relate to finding "brooding men" more attractive from a distance. Still, I am more prone to finding SEE or IEE more attractive than LII, for instance. Could be the Se seeking, or looking for an Ep temperament or Aggressor, etc etc. Also, I find the fact that SEE and IEE are "serious" opposed to "merry" (according to Reinin) makes the emotionality of the SEE or IEE less exaggerated, it is not as "in your face" as with ESE and EIE, whom I both find too gregarious. The "serious" quality can make an SEE or IEE be a little bit more serious in expression, especially when they are on their own, being "themselves" (Fi) and the Fe demonstrative is inactive.

All in all, I'd still prefer SEE over both LII or ILE.