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Thread: When you socionically supervise a parent

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    Poster Nutbag The Exception's Avatar
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    Default When you socionically supervise a parent

    I suspect my mother may be an IEE. I'm an LII so I would be her supervisor. Relationship wise I would be her supervisor but I'm not really seeing how I do this in a socionics sense. I do think IEE is her most likely type based on her functions and quadra values. I'm wondering if socionics supervision manifests differently when the child supervises the parent. By nature, the parenting role necessitates some supervision regardless of the socionics types involved.

    Anyone else here supervise a parent in a socionics sense? Any insights to share?
    LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP



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    Yeah, I do. IDK where to start, maybe ask more specific questions and I'll take a stab at it.

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    Poster Nutbag The Exception's Avatar
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    In what ways do you find yourself correcting your supervisee?

    What do you admire the most about your supervisee?

    What annoys you the most about your supervisee?

    Does your supervisee get annoyed at your advice? What does the annoyance look like?
    LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP



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    rofl

    I'm also extremely curious about such situations that turn intertype relationships upside down.
    Shoot, folks.
    How about when you're 5 years old and your parent is your Beneficiary mmm?

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    My mom is my supervisor. That ended today. When your parent is your benificiary, you learn quickly. Sort of how my brother is my benificiary. It is symbiosis. He learned quickly.

    Because se my mom is my supervisor, I do believe my power level is over 90000, if you know what I mean. At leas on the manipulative bastard scale.

    For example, Olly, you really enjoy this don't you. Here is a specific question. How specific do you mean? That is as specific as you are getting. Any more and I leave.

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    I ‘supervise’ my mother. But it feels like the other way round sometimes. She tells me what to do a lot, it comes off as aggressive. It wasn’t an easy relationship growing up but could have been worse I suppose. Maybe part of this is just average parent/child dynamic. Or more to do with personal issues. She dropped out of school quite young.

    I feel bad to say stuff about her on here. But anyway- I felt quite threatened by possible horrible things she’d say to me as child, which she would do during arguments. This stuck with me and caused problems later. A therapist once told me she should have apologised after saying these things (if she did I don’t really remember it).

    In other ways she was/is a good parent. But the bad things stood out more I guess (as a kid). With other supervisees (friends) I seem to have quite good relationships. My mum is also my my dad’s supervisor.
    Last edited by Bethany; 11-15-2020 at 06:14 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alomoes View Post
    My mom is my supervisor. That ended today. When your parent is your benificiary, you learn quickly. Sort of how my brother is my benificiary. It is symbiosis. He learned quickly.
    Learn what quickly?

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    oof this dynamic sounds crazy.

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    My SLI son is my Supervisor. Yes, this dynamic is crazy.

    He thinks he's always right, and even when he has absolutely no idea what he's talking about, he's sure as hell that he knows more than I do. Because, of course, all my decisions are bad.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    My SLI son is my Supervisor. Yes, this dynamic is crazy.

    He thinks he's always right, and even when he has absolutely no idea what he's talking about, he's sure as hell that he knows more than I do. Because, of course, all my decisions are bad.
    Oh dear! What do you do? My relationship did improve with my mum when I left home. But we do have a lot of stuff we’ve never spoken about which we should have. Yesterday we had an argument and we sorted it out by text afterwards (I was resisting it though and I don’t think she thought it was resolved.) We get on fine when it’s just me and her chatting over the kitchen table but if there’s other people we can quickly get into disagreements. The thing I find hard is she just does not stop talking and I feel like my head is going to explode lol. Sometimes she is softer and I guess I find her arguments more persuasive then? Of course she can be right and lots of other good things..also she is sp/so which makes things harder. Sometimes I wonder why she doesn’t text me and try to communicate that way..I don’t feel like she’s ever ‘reached out’ to me. But growing up I perceived her as having a lot of self esteem issues.. so maybe she just can’t face opening up a can of worms or something that might make her feel bad

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    My Supervisor son moved out to live with his mother when she left the marriage. I guess that's one way of solving the problem.

    He and I are on pretty good terms, I guess (but that's from the perspective of the Supervisee, and is bound to be notoriously skewed), but we don't see each other more than about twice a month, so there isn't much opportunity to clash.

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    Supervisor takes your words from the wrong perspective, I'd say.
    MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
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    Well, your supervisee's role function is your own PoLR. I think because of that, it sometimes causes a reversal of the supervision thing. Or if you're much older and/or more experienced with life than your supervisor. I feel really on more equal ground with LIEs that are 18-25-ish but LIEs my own age, might as well just bend over as soon as they enter the room. Especially if they are my own gender. Not cuz of gay, but because men are more dominant stereotypically lol.

    And yeah being a parent does change things up a bit but it depends on how naturally dominant the parent is anyway. I supervise an extroverted type, but an extroverted type supervises me- and since introverts are naturally more of 'bottoms' anyway lol - that all has a part to play.

    Still with all that said I do hurt my mom's feelings way more than she hurts mine. =(

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Exception View Post
    I suspect my mother may be an IEE. I'm an LII so I would be her supervisor. Relationship wise I would be her supervisor but I'm not really seeing how I do this in a socionics sense. I do think IEE is her most likely type based on her functions and quadra values. I'm wondering if socionics supervision manifests differently when the child supervises the parent. By nature, the parenting role necessitates some supervision regardless of the socionics types involved.

    Anyone else here supervise a parent in a socionics sense? Any insights to share?
    I was just talking with someone about this the other day.

    The idea of supervision makes more sense for some pairs than for others. It makes perfect sense why an SLE would be harshly critical of an LII, or an ESE of an SLI, but for LII and IEE? I have "hit the PoLR" of IEEs before but mostly we get along great. IEEs tend to get along well with most people anyways.

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    I think the supervisee parents force kids to use or go more in their Role function, frequently resulting in an N subtype in the kid.
    Supervisor kids looks more stressed, worried or concerned to create an order or control (than other representatives of the type), due growing up with the perceived deficiency of their parents that they felt in constant need of balance and improvement.

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    Helpful responses. My thoughts have gone in the direction of tritype theory..I don’t know if anyone else likes it but figuring out my parent is 285 feels helpful to me. The descriptions for tritype are limited, but simple and quite positively framed so it helps me to see how I overreact sometimes with my mother..how I am sometimes missing her intentions. I guess this could be helpful in a sort of ‘let it pass’ way if she annoys me. Perhaps I need to take a bit more control too-seems like this tritype likes order? And I am her supervisor so maybe it makes sense. Maybe I can be a bit clearer in structuring the time I spend with each family member on my visit for example so she gets her proper ‘time’ to do all her talking haha

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    This situation cannot be reliably analysed until the child is an adult greater than 25 years old. I've been witness to an IEI-ESE relationship where both parties totally disregard everything that the other says although all their interactions seemed relaxed and attentive with no hint of tension or superiority whatsoever.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    I was just talking with someone about this the other day.

    The idea of supervision makes more sense for some pairs than for others. It makes perfect sense why an SLE would be harshly critical of an LII, or an ESE of an SLI, but for LII and IEE? I have "hit the PoLR" of IEEs before but mostly we get along great. IEEs tend to get along well with most people anyways.
    You are just probably blind to it like all supervisors are.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Comatose Lamiac 007 View Post
    You are just probably blind to it like all supervisors are.
    I'm probably not as aware of it as the IEE is, but I've been friends with IEEs so that's not a sufficient explanation.

    There are other pairs where the idea of supervision seems not to work as well, like SEI-EIE, IEI-ESE, IEE-ESI.

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    A psychologically unhealthy supervisor can inflict great damage on the supervisee. In extreme case the supervised child would not survive the harm of the psychologically disordered supervisor parent.

    Nature ensures the survival of the child by making it to be the supervisor of the parent.

    In cases where the child is the supervisor and the parent is the supervisee, it is very likely that the parent has some serious issues.
    Last edited by khcs; 11-25-2020 at 12:09 AM.

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    LSI-Se and ILE-Ti generally treat each other as equals. ITR theory is really bad.

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    Power and the money, money and the power Lolita's Avatar
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    Supervisors tend to like their supervisee. Well... I have noticed that LSI donít like SEE and think theyíre stupid. But thatís another thing. Anyway, I like LIIs. I think theyíre arguably the most brilliant but my issue with them is not due to Ti, as Iím very satisfied to see them add conceptual structure everywhere they land, I just donít like them being silenced because they donít like direct conflict so much. In my mind, I believe Iím pushing them to have a backbone. I want them to stand up and fight. But then that just makes them LSI. Maybe to them, they feel like Iím being overbearing. They probably find it amusing that I use Se so much and donít mind me fighting, but they donít want to be in any fights unless absolutely necessary.

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    Power and the money, money and the power Lolita's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Consilience View Post
    EIE-ILIEII-ILE

    1. I have a tendency to give a lot of interpersonal advice on how to connect with people/set boundaries, dating advice, emotional growth reframing, I act as a blunt cheerleader type of person.

    2. They are usually patient, non-judgmental, open-ended, are a calm voice of reason to me.

    3. They take forever in deciding anything related to people, dating, interpersonal relationships, inertia/passivity.

    4. They get annoyed with my pushiness and effusiveness.
    Fixed it. You complete suck at Fe.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiana View Post
    Fixed it. You complete suck at Fe.
    What irony.

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