Member Questionnaire (Mayr)

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

Power is responsibility. That’s the important side of it. There are a lot of real complex problems. The person in position to decide is expected to find the solution and implement it. What you decide for and put into action, does not only affect yourself. It affects a lot of people. Not only right now, but also their future. These people have their responsibilities in turn. For their own life, that they want to build up or they have to provide for family in their home countries. This is not fun and games.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

You have to understand, that I’m not a part of your drama.
Just because I stated that clearly, doesn’t make me aggressive.
If you find these post aggressive, then you obviously don’t know.
Period.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

If you want something, it might be important to put consistent effort into it.
GASP SHOCK. BRAND NEW INFORMATION!!
Proof??!!

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

I cannot look inside people, but…

I think there will always be a deep connection to the place, where you started out. Maybe because there will always be a certain kind of innocence tied to it. Maybe the reason for it being your home and how deeply you can feel for it. It’s personal, away from whatever bullshit…

But the other home goes way back. It is through your family, your name, the history. It’s where you are embedded in and that you feel surrounded by and that is a part of you in many respect and things. Most peoples life is not something nicely set out, it has had it great changes.

So some peoples internality might not be something you understand, because you might not have experienced that life and it’s ties.

/2cent

Away for now.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

IMO. Cut me out of it. Content. Then it will go.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

To put things into perspective. This is an internet forum ... le sigh.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

Who is currently moderating? Could you move everything from post #26 to 'Deep Thoughts' with Nymeria. Thx.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

uhm... I just like how he smiles @me.

Have you ever seen a washed samoyed.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

Some days put other days in perspective. When you just keep doing.

You remember?

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

Nymeria out.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

It was in the back of my mind during a time.
It was the story about Michelangelo and his marmor statues.
Pretty mindboggling work, when you look at them pictures.
This heavy material and the strength, you need to work with it.
From what I remember it was said, that he felt like, he actually freed his statue out of the block.
The fine carving away? The end result looks so defined and clear, when you think about the block in comparison.

Like the feeling, when it’s clear and he just put it into action.
Looking at it blank, the block. And you know this atmosphere in the galleries.
They have this aura. Kinda still. Like how it must have been in his head in order to do it?
The buzzing goes down. He looks at it?
What do I want to accomplish?
How do I want it to look like?
What is the next step?

/thought

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

I sometimes wonder about working out and you.

I understood you don't like the material around.

But things here are also often in process.

Better to keep that in mind.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

yeah let's read that into my post.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

I swear ... and you people wonder why most people vanished and don't wanna come around anymore.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

of course... I think 'sensors' are dumb (for the experts outta there/sarcasm). That's the reason why I actually pushed a different concept of Si, that wasn't even that prominent here.

let's throw oil into the fire. maybe that will solve anything.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

Well I'm out now. Gotta focus on other stuff.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

I heard it so loudly that I couldn’t shut it off. Your silence, … I hear it so loudly.
Maybe lifting someone else’s weight makes yours a little more bearable
That's why writers write—
To give feet to thoughts; to make quiet, still feelings heard.

And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad.
"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry." "It is your own fault," I never wish you any sort of harm.

Giving is the highest expression of potency. In the very act of giving, I experience my strength, my wealth, my power. This experience of heightened vitality and potency fills me with joy. I experience myself as overflowing, spending, alive, hence as joyous. Giving is more joyous than receiving, not because it is a deprivation, but because in the act of giving lies the expression of my aliveness.

I didn't wanted it to be used ... against.

Sometimes you want something within, where it cannot be ... wrangled, just for yourself.

But I suppose sth. has to be here.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

Wherever you go, whatever you do, never forget, as soon as you are really caught in circle queening and "ethical" gamesmanship you are in deep deep deep problems.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

« A few times in my life I've had moments of absolute clarity, when for a few brief seconds the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I have lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present, and I realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be.

Why does he want to preserve this moment. He is very afraid. (Well some things just defy words and explanations. Is this why we cling so tight to the experience, because it feels more real to us.) What happens when this moment passes. What happens when he can’t hold on to this und he loses connection to something that defines him. He holds onto the memory, like an echo of what he experienced. How do you preserve an experience. The tighter you hold, the more afraid you get. -- The thought of you just consoles me. It just cannot be put into words or into an explanation. If you love what it gives you, then it’s just natural instinct ti nourish, protect and preserve.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

Can you do me a favor? Can you make room for yourself (a little bit)?
Some space … just to feel. There is no need to always cut at something.
(God) I know, how everything concerns you and is very important to you.
But you need to have something/some space inside, just for yourself.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

Sometimes I feel the dull, heavy pain around the chest area, when I think of how they try and try so hard. How they feel just so little and you know how they have their little heroes/heroines () and of course everything is fantastic and everything they do is right and they just read and read and they just think look omg… is just like me and they try to be just so and try to be as stronk, just so strong in order to deal with the realities of their life. How they pour out all of their precious emotions, so that they can feel and also feel just a little bit happy. They just (sometimes) feel so lonely and alone in their world and this is just their little morsel of solace. I’m ok, You’re ok. Right?

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

Language is a wonder and a curse for me. Words. The tyranny of preciseness. And as I look at it I feel it not really settling into me. Everything I wish for is the world to open up. Reveal it’s secret and mystery to me. To make me understand. What am I not getting? The world and how it exists at my borders. How can I make you understand. The confinement of my limitations strangles me. I want to express something so deeply. Hoping the world of experience is going to emerge in my hold. What is happening inside of me. I’m so afraid that it will vanish (without me being able to grasp it). Is it going to be lost away from my reach of ever knowing. I want to feel it in my bones, so that I can just be. To embody. Through the looking glass, I try to touch it’s essence to finally live in truth.

[slowerthan]

What's going on in this thread

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

What's going on in this thread

Answering Questions. Getting points across.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

There is just something deeply disturbing about the concept of the 'purity' of human values.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

e.g. 'fighting' for the spaghetti monster makes your fighting 'pure'?

war is war. no matter how you wanna cut it.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

I meant what I said. There is no need to direct it wild around.

I swear before someone turns this into a wobble of 'intuition' (more like passive-aggression) again.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

case in point

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

ftr if we are now going through a bunch of people, who don't sign up for retarded, passive-aggressive "fun" again, spare me the bullshit and leave me out of it.

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

Some people just come across like they are primed for certain treatment. It's just sad.

[slowerthan]

Yeah are they talking to themselves. I don't see anybody but Rainbow on the second page.

Ramblings of a mad man, relatable tbh

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

One of the reason why some people who have experienced abuse, dislike talking about it (besides the obvious reasons), is that they are aware of the dynamic, that some people like to use some of the details to flesh out some sort of perfomance for attention (some also like to wallow in the misery porn, but you know without the bad stuff).

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

I'm out.