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Thread: Enneagram type 4

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    4w5 ESI





    The second video shows a 4 - 8 dynamic, I guess.
    Last edited by lynn; 06-10-2020 at 10:38 AM.

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    (w5)

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    4w3



    Last edited by lynn; 07-12-2020 at 09:23 PM.

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    Is the lady in the add of the link dancing/exercising like an enneagram type 4?
    I remember in the past coming across something which indicated this would be type 4’s most natural workout manner.

    https://www.campaignasia.com/video/c...e-1980s/462199

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    Born with a void hard to destroy with love or hope
    Built with a heart broken from the start


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    To other enneagram 4s (or anyone else who wants to respond) - how has the enneagram been useful to you in self-growth?
    Last edited by asd; 01-10-2021 at 12:23 AM.
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    The 4 personality mechanism feels so counterintuitive
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    Quote Originally Posted by asd View Post
    I am beginning to question again the core motivation of 4 "wanting to be unique" at least as it applies to me. I can understand why someone would see it that way but I almost feel like it doesn't get to the real, true heart of the matter. Or maybe it's just me. I think I have serious reality distortion regarding feelings of abandonment, esp. wrt trauma and abandonment, or this odd sense of detachment reaction (others') that doesn't make any reasonable sense (to my trauma) and so on. But I have wholeheartedly believed it to be true up until now. I really believed people were callous enough to not care if I were traumatized or even died (so what would be the point of close relationships if they didn't care anyway? - hence why my swing between Avoidant and Anxious). It was this wordless but real terror underlying the entirety of last 1.5 decade. I genuinely and wholeheartedly believed it. Then SX issues on top of that - these issues get filtered through how I feel about my own power to attract those I want. Hmm...anyways, core issue I think for me severe reality distortion a few steps down from veritable psychosis (thank god; well, I mean to say, this is more serious than say having low self-esteem or some situational depression) but it creates all these self-reinforcing loops, dysfunctional relational patterns and so on. I wish I could just...bonk my neurons into firing a different way. Firing the way they did when I had that insight...lol.

    well, I think I have made considerable progress.

    I will say though that invalidation (from others) really destroyed my ability to sense who I really was and two main lessons: 1) I was never this horrible person, but in fact a misunderstood and non-malicious one this entire time and that 2) my condition was not as severe (I was being gaslighted and my character smeared). It took me years to understand what happened, but I am beginning to get a better sense of it now.

    This problem with self-invalidation ultimately makes me question what to trust though. Wrt my intuition and feelings I mean.
    Sorry if I'll sound ignorant or simplify too much as I'm not you and don't know your situation but don't you think you're overthinking and try to analyze yourself unnecessarily? That's my impression from your posts here. From my experience, thinking about why I'm the way I am and trying to find reasons for my problems doesn't solve anything and gives a fake sense of progress (I think I understood something about me or relations with someone but my life is still the same, just wasted time for thinking and unnecessary emotional discomfort). When I spend time doing things I like or something useful I feel better than when I focus on this kind of things. It's mostly about changing habits, learning how not to allow some thoughts to develop. Keep it simple

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