Quote Originally Posted by yeves View Post
you've added more fuel to that romanticizing of SX with your post.
i am obsessive with my interests and will seek out all I could absorb about them and that's how most of my friends are. this doesn't make the whole lot of us sx firsts.
Was trying to capture the energy of it and how it comes out in more than just relationships. Apparently I failed. And yeah, I've seen other stackings with hobbies they're really into and what-not. It's not what I meant to describe, and didn't communicate well. The kind of excitement and involvement, and the reason I used lust as a suffix in every case idk, that is going to be misunderstood also, but a lot of people seemed to miss the "without a safety net" part.

I'm sure you and Suz have passions and interests, but Suz wants a relationship with some guy who has a retirement fund and shit like that. Her priorities are on safety, security. There's a reason why sx/sp can battle with themselves between completely giving themselves over to something, and keeping at least one foot firm on the ground - sp is the grounding, the having a backup plan, the security aspect of something. Every single person has ALL the instincts. Everyone has sx, has sp, has so. These are drives that are present in everyone, the stacking is the priority you put on them.

Because of my family growing up I've sometimes had difficulty relating to people who are sx-last, seeing them as overly-cautious and confusing. I look for a kind of energy in them, and they don't have it and it at times baffles me. That isn't to say they have no energy or are lifeless or any other negative connotation, and plenty are bubbly and friendly, but TO ME the energy they have doesn't seem directed anywhere. And I completely relate to what Aylen wrote about relationships - wanting to connect and having the other person see it as invasive and overstepping boundaries.

Having to stop yourself, force limits on yourself and finding ways to distract and scatter your focus to prevent becoming consumed isn't romantic. Learning to balance yourself and respect other people's internal space when it goes against your natural inclinations isn't romantic either. An unbalanced instinct no matter which one is most out of balance isn't a positive thing and I wasn't trying to glorify it in any way. Just the opposite. Finding ways to balance myself without feeling like I'm smothering or fighting with myself - well, when you get there it feels really good. To get to a point where you feel like you're in control rather than being controlled by your instincts is pretty awesome. But tbh, thinking too much about it and posting on this forum, makes me feel worse. Trying to communicate when everyone seems eager to misunderstand or take offense kind of sucks.