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Thread: Enneagram type 9: all things Nine

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    964 SX/SP


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    "We have called personality type Nine The Peacemaker because no type is more devoted to the quest for internal and external peace for themselves and others. They are typically “spiritual seekers” who have a great yearning for connection with the cosmos, as well as with other people. They work to maintain their peace of mind just as they work to establish peace and harmony in their world. The issues encountered in the Nine are fundamental to all psychological and spiritual work—being awake versus falling asleep to our true nature; presence versus entrancement, openness versus blockage, tension versus relaxation, peace versus pain, union versus separation.

    Ironically, for a type so oriented to the spiritual world, Nine is the center of the Instinctive Center, and is the type that is potentially most grounded in the physical world and in their own bodies. The contradiction is resolved when we realize that Nines are either in touch with their instinctive qualities and have tremendous elemental power and personal magnetism, or they are cut off from their instinctual strengths and can be disengaged and remote, even lightweight.

    To compensate for being out of touch with their instinctual energies, Nines also retreat into their minds and their emotional fantasies. (This is why Nines can sometimes misidentify themselves as Fives and Sevens, “head types,” or as Twos and Fours, “feeling types.”) Furthermore, when their instinctive energies are out of balance, Nines use these very energies against themselves, damming up their own power so that everything in their psyches becomes static and inert. When their energy is not used, it stagnates like a spring-fed lake that becomes so full that its own weight dams up the springs that feed it. When Nines are in balance with their Instinctive Center and its energy, however, they are like a great river, carrying everything along with it effortlessly.

    We have sometimes called the Nine the crown of the Enneagram because it is at the top of the symbol and because it seems to include the whole of it. Nines can have the strength of Eights, the sense of fun and adventure of Sevens, the dutifulness of Sixes, the intellectualism of Fives, the creativity of Fours, the attractiveness of Threes, the generosity of Twos, and the idealism of Ones. However, what they generally do not have is a sense of really inhabiting themselves—a strong sense of their own identity.

    Ironically, therefore, the only type the Nine is not like is the Nine itself. Being a separate self, an individual who must assert herself against others, is terrifying to Nines. They would rather melt into someone else or quietly follow their idyllic daydreams."

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
    YWIMW

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    9 sx/sp - Shoutingzen

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    Quote Originally Posted by maniac View Post
    9w1 women are probably the most stereotypically feminine women...
    Nine is a gender neutral type. Type 2 & 4 women tend to be more feminine in presentation, being the Heart Triad types with emotional self-expression. Type 2 has the "caring mother" archetype. Type 4 often has artistic and poetic presentation, inclined to dream about a rescuer (male counterpart) and to dwell in melancholic moods, and desiring to captivate the attention of others (image oriented types).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Milo View Post
    Nine is a gender neutral type. Type 2 & 4 women tend to be more feminine in presentation, being the Heart Triad types with emotional self-expression. Type 2 has the "caring mother" archetype. Type 4 often has artistic and poetic presentation, inclined to dream about a rescuer (male counterpart) and to dwell in melancholic moods, and desiring to captivate the attention of others (image oriented types).
    All types have both feminine and masculine qualities. 9 is the softest type, with the least aggression, which is the most common trait associated with masculinity. That is why 9 is the most feminine type in my opinion.
    Some 4w3 can be pretty feminine though not all (not me for example, my personality is androgynous and I don't click with women because I feel like I can't act in the certain way they want me to. 4w5 is pretty much androgynous.

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    A grumpy 9w8 for you.







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    He was so hot when young

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    Accounts of two 9s trying to overcome the E9 tendency to merge with the needs and demands of others at the expense of losing their own being.

     

    My experiences are quite different as a sp 9w1. But I'll share a little bit.
    When I was a child I had a fixation with the idea of space. I was obsessed with having my own space, both physically and emotionally. I would oscillate between being aggressive when people tried to encroach on my space and internally feeling guilty for taking up space at all.
    Some 9's have a poor understanding of their own identities, other's have a poor understanding of their own rights. I personally have never had a problem with knowing what I want, who I am or what I'm passionate about. This is contradictory to how most 9's are depicted, but consistent with my experience of being an infp.
    But my rights, are something I've been unsure of in the past. I sometimes feel guilty for existing. I remember thinking that I'd rather not exist than hurt another.
    I can't remember where the turning point happened for me. But, vaguely, I remember thinking about how a cheetah has to hunt to live, and the antelope has to run to live and neither of them are wrong for fighting for their own existence. I remember thinking about how waves beat against rocks and cliffs over and over, and thinking that everything is fighting for space. The waves are trying to overtake the cliffs, and cliffs are pushing back.
    It had never occurred to me to think that other people didn't have the right to exist, it was just something that I told myself in moments of weakness or failure.
    And then I thought, that I didn't choose to exist, but because I exist I have the same rights as everything else that exists. I have the right to fight for my own existence. I have the right to act on my environment, and for my environment to feel the impact of my actions. I have the right to take up space.
    As a child, I used to try to be so low maintenance, I never wanted to inconvenience anyone. I never wanted to be in anyone's way or harm anyone. And I still have these tendencies. But now I see my own needs and wants as being valuable enough, and I don't mind "being in someone else's way". Because we're all sharing the same space and we all have a right to it.
    It doesn't occur to me to see others as my enemies, and I still don't, even if I have to fight with them. We are all fighting together even if we're fighting each other. I still loathe the idea of hurting other people and when I have painful emotions I'm always tempted to withdraw from people because I feel like I'm protecting them from my brokenness, like jumping on the grenade yourself so when it goes off, others don't have to deal with it. But I've learned that my distance hurts people just as much.
    I think nines easily see the big picture, and they see themselves as being insignificant in that picture. And it's true that individually we are all a very small part of the picture. But our smallness does not make us less significant, because all wholes are only comprised of smaller parts.
    I believe that the world is not complete without me. I am a necessary part of the whole. I'm not more important than anyone on this earth, I'm not less important than anyone on this earth. All people are pieces that comprise the greater whole.
    So those are some of my thoughts on developing boundaries. You asked if a sense of self came before a sense of purpose, I would say a sense of my own philosophy came first, and then a sense of self and then a sense of purpose.

     

    As a nine, my whole life is centered around love. I love people unconditionally and fully for who they are because I believe there’s beauty in all aspects of life, even if it can be hard to see. Unfortunately, I quickly learned that this is not how everyone thinks. I don’t like to overgeneralize, but I think there’s a point in all nines’ lives (perhaps even every person’s life) where they realize that most love is conditional, even if it’s just a subconscious realization like mine was, and that if they don’t act the right way, like the right things, or make any conflict then they risk losing the love they and acceptance they so desire. For me this happened at a very young age, being criticized by older kids for liking childish games and shows and coming to believe that being a innocent, silly kid was in itself a flaw. As you may expect, I made myself grow up very fast. Some people deal with this better than others, but I was definitely on the worse end of the spectrum. I feared that the real me was completely unlovable, so I became obsessed with controlling the information that people got about my inner workings, rarely ever allowing myself to be truly vulnerable or open. Even when I was it was a calculated vulnerability, only showing enough build connections with people but never revealing anything so concrete that I couldn’t alter it to be more appealing if the person didn’t react well. By the time I was in high school, when I heard something, the thought “how do I feel about this” never popped into my head. I just jumped directly to “how does this person want me to feel about this.” I built a wall in my mind between my “self” and this “ideal self” that I wanted everyone to see. This worked magnificently for most of my life. I got all the love I could want from my friends, who would often lavish praise on me for being this ideal person that I knew deep down I was not, but it was inherently unsustainable. As I grew older, my friends became more disparate, so the person I was with each of them started to become contradictory, and having shoved all of my true feelings and opinions deep into the back of my mind long ago, I had no way to resolve these conflicts within myself, no “self” to reference to see how I truly felt. And much as some people have already discussed, I could see other people’s motivations so clearly, that they often felt more real than my own. Maybe I do truly love Power Rangers (which I do), but if someone else thinks it’s stupid and I can clearly see the reasons why, often more clearly than I saw my own motivation, how could I know that they’re not right and I’m stupid for liking it so much? This kind of thinking permeated my whole life, especially in conflict. Because of this, I stopped wanting to even have conflict (not that I wasn’t already very avoidant) because I would always just come out of it doubting myself and seeing the other person’s perspective better than my own. A friend of mine articulated the effect this had on my very well. She said that whenever I befriended someone, that person slowly chipped away at all the parts of me that they didn’t like or agree with until there was nothing left of the dynamic, loving person I truly was. That’s why I often feel addicted to new relationships, because for a brief time I get to be more fully myself than with my oldest friends, and only once the honeymoon period of getting to know a new person faded would they start to see all the flaws that they wanted to chip away. What my friend didn’t realize is that like all of us, I have a relationship with myself just as real as my relationship with anyone else, and it’s not any more healthy. Because I was taught from such a young age that only certain things should be loved, even my unconditional love for myself quickly faded, and I came to hate all my anger, my selfishness, my desire, my ignorance, the list goes on and on. So while everyone else was chipping away at my superficial qualities, there was I, chipping away at the very core of my being until all that was left was a perfectly sculpted shell of a person, shaped to please everyone but myself. I became very depressed. I had lost all the vitality that makes life worth living. I didn’t want to make myself happy because it seemed hollow and meaningless. I didn’t even want to make other people happy, I was simply too afraid of being unlovable to stop. My entire life was ruled by obligation. I was obligated to be smart and successful to make my parents proud. I was obligated to be strong and always available to my lovers so that they would be happy. I was obligated to be a million different things to my friends so that they would think me a worthwhile person. It all added up to a beautifully sculpted and paradoxical person, but a person that I had no desire to be. All I really wanted to be was dead, to be free of the endless toil and obligation. It wasn’t as if I saw no beauty or joy in the world, but what good was it if there wasn’t really any “me” left to enjoy it? This desire grew stronger and stronger, but I always restrained it in the hope that something would change. I was still very young, I knew I still had much to learn about myself and the world, and maybe something would make it all worthwhile. It did, but it took that desire growing to a breaking point to make me see it. One day my girlfriend was driving me home from class. I had been arguing with a friend of mine, something I rarely do, but it was important to me because I was so sick of acquiescing that my view was just a matter of opinion, that they were probably right, that I should chip another piece of myself away so that I could be more agreeable. I was already in a bad mood, so I argued over trivial shit with my girlfriend too. I didn’t want to, I didn’t even really care if anyone agreed with me, I just wanted to be free of this endless cycle of compromise. I’d thought of killing myself many times, but it was always in the form of a “what if I do this?” kind of question. This time there was no question, just the thought as I saw an oncoming street sign, “jump out now, if your head hits the pole at this speed it will all be over.” I wanted to with everything that was left of myself, but something held me back. I hesitated, and the moment was gone. I sat in silence for a long time, and finally realized that if hiding myself from the world made want to kill myself, then what was the point of all the love I got from it? I broke down as soon as we got home. It was far from the first time, but it was the first time I held nothing back. I sat crying on my bed and told my girlfriend everything I was truly feeling, and of course she started crying too, and almost immediately, all my self pity and loathing and overwhelming desire to die vanished. I told her “but you know I’d never really do that right?” Which was obviously confusing because I almost had, but I knew, had always known it was the truth. She asked me why not, if life was really so miserable to me. And I gave her the answer that I’d always known was true but could never see, “because I love you. Because I love everyone. Because the one thought more unbearable than life, is making you cry. Because all this pain and struggle is worth it for every person in my life, and far beyond worth all of them together” (I wasn’t quite so poetic in the moment but you get the idea). And just like that, there was my whole purpose for being laid bare. I live because I love; I realized that I even love myself, even all the parts that had been chipped away, and that I loved everyone else just as completely. So why the fuck had I been so miserable for so long? Because my whole life I had been taught you should only love good things, or that you should only truly love one person, or that you shouldn’t say I love you too early, or too often, or too easily, or to too many people, and on and on. All these conditions that I’d let other people put on my unconditional love for life were suffocating, were constraining my very reason for being alive, all because I was afraid that if I loved too freely, that it would make my love cheap, and that no one would want it, and that no one would love me back. Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you for reading my entire essay. I don’t know if it will help anyone else find their passion for living, but it’s how I found mine. Someone else mentioned trying all the different types of meditation to find themselves, and I was much the same way. I tried mantras and self-deprivation and all kinds of things to quiet my desires and thoughts and see who I really was when I felt lost, until I heard a lecture from Allen Watts that showed me where I was going wrong. He said that everyone tries to meditate to improve themselves, but that’s not the point. The point, like most Zen practices, is that there is no point! If anything, it should just be fun to sit and allow yourself to be with no pressure to do this or improve that or become the other. I don’t think that would have made sense to me before I understood myself as well as I do now (which still isn’t perfectly), but now that I do, I try to meditate in everything that I do. It’s not trying to be enlightened or be in perfect harmony with the universe or at peace or perfectly quiet (although those are all noble goals), it’s being exactly what I am at every moment, and not wishing to be anything else. It’s loving all of my thoughts and desires and anger and selfishness and silliness as much as my intelligence and strength and calmness and so on, and accepting and loving all those qualities in the people and world around me as well. I certainly fall short of this ideal every day, but now when I do I don’t hate myself for failing, I love and forgive myself for being an imperfect being and allow myself to move on and live life.


     

    I’ve noticed that whenever I have to make a decision based on my own opinions, that may not necessarily be shared by others, I feel guilty for how it requires me to stand my own ground, so to speak.
    The best example I have of this is the fact that I’m currently planning a wedding. Now, I’m not a demanding “bridezilla type” by any means, but I do have opinions, and I think in this specific situation I feel a bit more justified in stating my wishes (as opposed to my usual “go with the flow” personality) because after all... it’s a big day. The problem is that I have trouble doing what I want because I care so much about making my family and his family happy. I end up feeling guilty for making simple decisions because I’m constantly worrying whether or not someone will be upset that I didn’t ask them, or whether they have a strongly conflicting opinion, or that they’ll develop a bad opinion of me as domineering and selfish.
    Naturally it’s impossible to take into consideration what EVERYONE wants, as anyone who has ever planned a wedding knows. I’ve been really overwhelmed as it brings me outside of my comfortable agreeability and makes me have to sometimes stand up to others (which is difficult even when it’s about really minor things).
    I feel like I’m trying to balance my want to maintain control over my decisions (1 wing?) vs. my want to make everyone else happy (keeping peace like a 9). If I just focus on what others want, I will drive myself crazy and it will be very very easy to spin out of control...but if I assert myself and do what I want, I feel guilty about “steamrolling” over other people. And I start to feel like I’m too assertive (which is really probably not true, it’s just significantly more assertive than my normal passivity. But it’s a hard feeling).
    This feeling has made me really start to dread doing anything wedding-related. Well, at least, it’s fun to come up with ideas in my head, but when the time comes to actually put them into place (i.e. share them with others), I hate it. I understand now how 9’s can get stuck in inaction because sometimes I’d rather put it all off than run the risk of making someone upset, or having my ideas shut down and replaced by someone else’s wishes.
    How do you balance this? Not even necessarily just with wedding stuff, because that particular situation will end but I’m sure these patterns are deeper than that. How can I approach these situations in a healthier way? (Without being too passive or too aggressive)
    Last edited by silke; 11-23-2017 at 03:58 PM.

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    Two 9s can appear so different it mind boggles me (same goes for 3 and 6..) what it depends on largely is their tritype and stacking I assume. Blake Lively I'd type sp/so 963 (or 2 fix), and Björk sx/sp 974, so huge difference there.
    Last edited by maniac; 10-08-2017 at 11:32 AM.

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    I'd look how someone pointed 9 among my bloggers examples (check signature) of EII / ESI types of women.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    I'd look how someone pointed 9 among my bloggers examples (check signature) of EII / ESI types of women.
    You also type many 9s IEI. 9s dislike conflict and usually have trouble asserting themselves. They repress their anger. It aligns with Jung's Si. (But surprisingly you rarely type 9s Si dominant)

    Jung’s description of the Introverted Sensation type, from the original version of his typology (pre-Myers Briggs) correlates well with e-type 9 and what I’ve termed the mytho-animative function. He even goes so far as to (inadvertently) illuminate the nature of 9w1’s “shadow wing”, Type 8.
    “Actually he lives in a mythological world, where men, animals, locomotives, houses, rivers, and mountains appear as benevolent deities or as malevolent demons. That they appear thus to him never enters his head, though that is just the effect they have on his judgments and actions.
    He judges and acts as though he had such power to deal with; but this begins to strike him only when he discovers that his sensations are totally different from reality. If he has any aptitude for objective reason, he will sense this difference as morbid; but if he remains faithful to his irrationality, and is ready to grant his sensations ‘reality value’, the objective world will appear a mere make-believe and a comedy… As a rule he resigns himself to this isolation and the banality of the world, which he has unconsciously made archaic.
    His unconscious is distinguished chiefly by the repression of intuition, which consequently acquires an extroverted [intuition] and archaic character. Whereas true extroverted intuition [E8] is possessed of a singular resourcefulness, a “good nose” for objectively real possibilities, this archaicized intuition has an amazing flair for all the ambiguous, shadowy, sordid, dangerous possibilities lurking in the background…. It therefore has a dangerous and destructive quality that contrasts glaringly with the well-meaning innocuousness of the conscious attitude.
    …But as soon as the unconscious becomes antagonistic, the archaic intuitions come to the surface and exert their pernicious influence, forcing themselves on the individual and producing compulsive ideas of the most perverse kind.”

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    Quote Originally Posted by maniac View Post
    They repress their anger. It aligns with Jung's Si.
    anger is emotion Fe and partly Se aggression

    Jung could to make mistakes in his expanded functions descriptions. The important in his work is only principles - the essence of functions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    anger is emotion Fe and partly Se aggression

    Jung could to make mistakes in his expanded functions descriptions. The important in his work is only principles - the essence of functions.
    I think you might be disillusioned about socionics if you are going to dive into enneagram because it covers a lot more. Every type has with them an impossible issue, for example 3 wants to be the best, the most attractive, beautiful, 6 wants to be safe at all time and wants to calculate how things will unfold to avoid risk/danger, 9 wants unpleasant feelings to begone (9 is the one that represses anger the most out of all, and if you repress an emotion it gets bigger and accidentally slips out sometimes, thats what happens with 9s. My father is a 9 so I'm familiar. When I was young he would sometimes take out his anger on me and my sister (with violence). But when looking at him from another persons perspective he appears soft and harmless. When he got into a conflict with a stranger he would either avoid it or go at it with passive-aggressiveness. He's conflict avoidant so he feels other people's aggression distinctively. When I slightly raise my voice he tells me softly to calm down.
    That you apparently type 9s with Fi lead is a problem since 9 avoids taking strong stances and prefer to "be in the middle" (accepting) with everything whereas Fi is supposed to have a strong moral compass.
    The typical "empath" thing is such a 9 thing (I think it's cause 9 needs to feel everyones emotions and states in order to prevent conflicts etc), and also symbolism is related to 9. Jung was a 9 himself.
    Last edited by maniac; 10-10-2017 at 02:26 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by maniac View Post
    I think you might be disillusioned about socionics
    When I'll get significant contradictions of reality I see for 15 years with Socionics theory, then may reject it. Until then, I have no basis for this.

    > 9 wants unpleasant feelings to begone

    everybody wants. undeveloped 9 tries to do this by closing the eyes and running away, naive childish behavior

    > repress an emotion it gets bigger and accidentally slips out sometimes, thats what happens with 9s

    Sometimes emotions seems distort thinking of 9 as they behave strangely. I rejected to give what 9 asked for long and that leaded 9 to think that if she'll do some picture then I'll do - I did not for sure and was said like I offenced/betrayed her by this, while I never promised to do what she expected if she'll make a picture or close.

    > "be in the middle" (accepting) with everything whereas Fi is supposed to have a strong moral compass

    Fi types may be 9 as peacemakers - Fi seek for emotional peace. Fi is pointed on emotional harmony what assumes to be good for most people, to accept them, be in the middle in some senses and not to argue/strike openly and significantly, to forgive and prefer external compromises.

    > I think it's cause 9 needs to feel everyones emotions and states in order to prevent conflicts etc

    It's clearly about base Fi. They are the most empathic.
    Last edited by Sol; 10-12-2017 at 10:11 AM.

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    @Sol that person didn't seem particularly 9, an9 has issues confronting you if you offended them
    Last edited by maniac; 10-10-2017 at 04:29 PM.

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    Everybody probably wants unpleasant feelings to be gone on a conscious level, but since enneagram is subconscious some types are naturally compelled to unpleasant feelings. 4 especially. They need to to fulfill their type need of being unique (i dont like this particular word for it because it can get misinterpreted and every type can be unique). The uniqueness for type 4 is being broken, flawed, seeing everything with holes in it, something lacking to make them human like everyone else. They identify with their flaws and get stuck with feeling like theyre something inherently wrong with them. They're overly self-conscious and self-focused, so if you want an image of type 4 think of someone blushing (over being themselves), lol.

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    9 so/sx (Si)


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    How are you?
    Isn't it the hardest question
    To answer to when the only thing
    When the only thing you wanna say is BAD
    Isn't it the hardest question to answer to
    When the only thing you wanna do is cry

    Oh it is to hard
    To look at you and smile
    And just reply
    I am fine
    Coz you know I'm not
    You know I'm not
    Coz my eyes don't lie

    How are you?
    9+soc

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    sx/so 9







    ...Another 'satanic' aspect of 9 is that the fixation (the neurotic fixation) is a mock-up of spirituality; an ego structure/personality inadvertently disguised as a spiritual person... something like a serpent in the Garden of ego-fixation often remaining successfully hidden behind a fairly convincing Tree-of-Life hologram; stretching out straight behind the Tree trunk, and thus out of our view, or intertwining and camouflaging itself in the branches.
    Last edited by maniac; 10-13-2017 at 06:19 PM.

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    That girl leads to a question about direct correlation between the Enneagram number and boobs size.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    That girl leads to a question about direct correlation between the Enneagram number and boobs size.
    I've looked for it but it doesn't seem to be any correlation.

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    Quote Originally Posted by maniac View Post
    I've looked for it but it doesn't seem to be any correlation.
    *sigh*

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    sx/sp 964

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    The soul child of Type Nine is Point Three on the Enneagram. Its passion (or vice) is lying. It can appear in a tendency to deceive and lie in order to present to another what will get approval. Like a child who takes a cookie when mother told her not to or pretends to be sick to skip school a Nine's soul child pleads that s/he did not do it and s/he really does have an upset stomach.

    Within every Nine is a young place that wants to be seen, to shine, to be the centre of attention. So there is a little show-off, wanting to do her dance and be applauded.

    Behind the self-abnegating tendency lies a drivenness and often a ruthlessness about succeeding - usually well hidden and pushed out of consciousness. The shadow of this can be seen falling across the consciousness in the fear of the Nine to appear too pushy or take up too much space.

    Underneath the inertia of the Nine is their soul child's focus on doing, and often Nines are afraid that if they start an activity, they will become driven and unable to stop.

    As Nines allow themselves to get in touch with the psychodynamic structure in them that consists of their soul child's qualities, they will progressively experience themselves as more complex. Exhibitionist tendencies will transform into a sincere recognition of their personhood. They will see that being a person in their own right was not supported during their childhood, and so they became accommodating and self-absenting in order to get approval.

    If they reclaim themselves as valuable and lovable, they will start to be able to experience the aspect of Essence that Almaas calls the Pearl Beyond Price - it is radiant and luminous and independent of any constraints of the conditioning they have experienced in their lives.

    They will become free of any self-image or mental construct defining who they are and will be able to contact and interact in the world liberated from the sleep of personality.

    So Nines, contrary to what they might think or feel, are unconditionally lovable just as they are, as they were when they came into this world. They have no need to be something else or any image they imagine. When they fulfil the needs of their soul child, they will naturally let the light they were given shine for everyone to see.
    This is really apparent in this girl:



    Almost all of the fears revolve around her physical attraction. I assume this gets more apparent with people who arent sx last, too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by maniac View Post
    This is really apparent in this girl:



    Almost all of the fears revolve around her physical attraction. I assume this gets more apparent with people who arent sx last, too.
    How is she a 9?

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    When your 8-wing tells you to challenge something but you're still core 9 dodging all kinds of bullets 24/7:


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    I type him sx/so. Maybe 963.
    Last edited by maniac; 11-06-2017 at 12:47 PM.

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    link, subtypes

    ..."Leave me alone, pls. I have not forgiven you still"... *sigh*

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    link, subtypes

    ..."Leave me alone, pls. I have not forgiven you still"... *sigh*
    ...make her answer to this:

    http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/apology/

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    Quote Originally Posted by Syrup View Post
    http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/apology/
    The problem is more serious.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    The problem is more serious.
    the seriousness of the matter has nothing to do with knowing how to give a proper apology.
    Anyway, take it if you think you can get something good from it, if not its cool.

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