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    Default question for sp-1st or 2nd people

    What does sp feel like?

    I imagine it has a lot more depth than what I'm able to access.

    I want to hear all about it

    EDIT: what does it feel like when things are going well? what are the pleasurable or meaningful aspects of it?

    I'm trying to figure out what the "reward" of sp is
    Last edited by lemontrees; 11-19-2014 at 10:42 PM.

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    I'm a bit new to enneagram myself so take what i say in context with that, but in my developing understanding of the stackings, it's more that I resonate with the overall phenotype of sp/so versus the other stackings, and thus i'm not sure i'm able to distinctly separate out what is sp about myself. What's interesting to me also (sort of a side-note), is that i do relate also to some aspects of the other syn-flow stackings (so/sx and sx/sp) but truly sp/so seems to fit the best and is most comfortable to me as a descriptor of my identity. In fact, before someone pointed out sp/so to me, I had tentatively considered myself so/sx.

    In interacting with people of a variety of stackings here, some of the differences that stand out to me that might seem stacking related:

    --my thoughts tend to not gravitate to darkness; i dont like thinking about darkness and despair, much less dwelling on it. I actually kind of have an aversion to that.

    --being in charge of my own self and maintaining my own identity, while also being a positively contributing member of the community describes me well. I do get nervous though when the "community" starts trying to take over being in charge of me and my time and my choices, and i dont particularly enjoy that feeling. (this might actually be the sp-first in me). In a way that may make me seem like a "loner" sometimes, but I prefer to see it as me being a free-agent. This dynamic plays out in different ways in different situations for me, but for example, re: hanging out with friends, sometimes i will join and sometimes not, and I dont like it when i'm made to feel like i'm not being a good friend if i dont join for something, or put pressure on me to (I know some ppl who sort of do that. Idk what stacking that would represent... so/sp? not sure...)

    --I like being a responsible member of society and to be helpful towards a constructive goal (this may not be type related).

    --throwing around idle talk about poop, passing gas, privates, unless in the context of helping someone with a medical problem, just seems banal and unpleasantly vulgar to me. (may also not be stacking related, but i kind of see sx firsts or 2nds engaging that kind of talk & joking more, for some reason).

    --I'm very private about sexual matters; it's not something i choose or prefer to engage in as an open topic of conversation with people i'm not intimate with. Not here on the forum, not among my irl platonic friends, not at work. Amazingly, my boss sometimes makes references alluding to sex with her husband, or boobs, and even if i will be friendly about it, I find it highly uncomfortable and awkward when she does that. I know some people would enjoy that kind of thing though and think her to be chill and fun because of that. To clear up what seems to be a misconception about sx-lasts, though, this does not mean i'm not a sexual person... In a way, sex is too sacred of a realm for me to just casually talk/joke about it, it's almost like doing that would sort of cheapen that sacredness.

    IDk if this was helpful at all
    Last edited by Suz; 11-19-2014 at 10:24 PM. Reason: typo
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    suedehead's Avatar
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    It kind of feels like a self-attending impulse. A focus on my body...building it up, breaking it down. Touching. Boundaries. Things that are mine.
    Last edited by suedehead; 11-19-2014 at 10:43 PM.

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    C-ESI-Se 6w7 sx/sp ashlesha's Avatar
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    i feel very distinct from other people, i mean the physical energy. i'm always inside my skin, whether i'm pulling deeper into myself or ripping the seams. my apartment is my sanctuary and when its clean and smells nice i feel like it has fortress walls and my feet are sinking into the mud and nothing is blowing away. me, mine, in the circle. being in a crowd is nice not because of the individuals composing it but because of the waves of energy they give off and how it feels brushing my skin.

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    escaping anndelise's Avatar
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    I'm not sure if I am sp first or second. I'm a major head type, constantly worrying and looking up info, and mentally planning how to handle what if scenarios, etc. Most of that is fixated on health and wellbeing. What happens if R dies or is in an accident or we somehow split up? How would I get by? What things would I do? I kept my crappy van for years as a just in case thing, it could be my home, I knew how I could set it up for living in it. How would I cook? How would I clean? This summer I finally got rid of the van and got a car, but not before getting agreements for loans if something happens and I need to get a vehicle I could live out of.

    I also constantly check and double check if I left the stove on, locked the door, etc. I'll check multiple times, not just twice.

    I'm constantly analyzing my body, how it feels, do I need to warm up? Cool down? Adjust positions, etc. i attribute much of this to Si seeking.

    I have boxes and boxes of books and notes, and hundreds of pdfs related to physical health, nutrition, fitness, mental health, self-improvement, etc.

    Now, while I am mentally fixated on these things, I'm not a gut type. I don't actively, physically pursue the common sp materialistic or monetary related stuff. My house is disgustingly cluttered (with the above mentioned boxes of stuff). It drives me nuts. But it's a real struggle to get rid of it because I might need/want the info some day. I'm on disability, so there's not enough to set aside for savings, etc. So instead I've begun working on reducing expenses. Reducing how much electricity we use, how much money we spend on food, etc. Though I still spend on books and such, grrr.

    R, on the other hand is sp/so. He does earn good money, good investments, etc. But, he doesn't consider if the house is locked up, lights out, etc. He doesn't get cold easily, or too hot, etc. He doesn't understand my worry fixation. He doesn,t plot and plan about it all, like I do. But then, he's probably an enneagram 9. If I tell him I want something, he gets it for me...eventually.

    I would imagine that a heart fixated sp would be the ones that are fixated on decorating their home, making it comfy, fixing it up, remodel parts of it, fill it with sentimental items, develop a strong attachment to it, and be total homebodies.

    Oh, speaking of homebodies, R and I prefer spending time at home rather than go out. Neither of us is much interested in having company, though. We don't spend most our time conversing about sp matters, either. He's too much of an introvert to talk much, and I don't feel comfy letting him know just what kinds of thoughts constantly run through my head.
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    Kill4Me's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    I'm not sure if I am sp first or second. I'm a major head type, constantly worrying and looking up info, and mentally planning how to handle what if scenarios, etc. Most of that is fixated on health and wellbeing. What happens if R dies or is in an accident or we somehow split up? How would I get by? What things would I do? I kept my crappy van for years as a just in case thing, it could be my home, I knew how I could set it up for living in it. How would I cook? How would I clean? This summer I finally got rid of the van and got a car, but not before getting agreements for loans if something happens and I need to get a vehicle I could live out of.

    I also constantly check and double check if I left the stove on, locked the door, etc. I'll check multiple times, not just twice.

    I'm constantly analyzing my body, how it feels, do I need to warm up? Cool down? Adjust positions, etc. i attribute much of this to Si seeking.

    I have boxes and boxes of books and notes, and hundreds of pdfs related to physical health, nutrition, fitness, mental health, self-improvement, etc.

    Now, while I am mentally fixated on these things, I'm not a gut type. I don't actively, physically pursue the common sp materialistic or monetary related stuff. My house is disgustingly cluttered (with the above mentioned boxes of stuff). It drives me nuts. But it's a real struggle to get rid of it because I might need/want the info some day. I'm on disability, so there's not enough to set aside for savings, etc. So instead I've begun working on reducing expenses. Reducing how much electricity we use, how much money we spend on food, etc. Though I still spend on books and such, grrr.

    R, on the other hand is sp/so. He does earn good money, good investments, etc. But, he doesn't consider if the house is locked up, lights out, etc. He doesn't get cold easily, or too hot, etc. He doesn't understand my worry fixation. He doesn,t plot and plan about it all, like I do. But then, he's probably an enneagram 9. If I tell him I want something, he gets it for me...eventually.

    I would imagine that a heart fixated sp would be the ones that are fixated on decorating their home, making it comfy, fixing it up, remodel parts of it, fill it with sentimental items, develop a strong attachment to it, and be total homebodies.

    Oh, speaking of homebodies, R and I prefer spending time at home rather than go out. Neither of us is much interested in having company, though. We don't spend most our time conversing about sp matters, either. He's too much of an introvert to talk much, and I don't feel comfy letting him know just what kinds of thoughts constantly run through my head.
    you're sooooooooooooooooo SP-first...

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    escaping anndelise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kill4Me View Post
    you're sooooooooooooooooo SP-first...
    Or sx first. Not really sure yet. But definitely becoming more sp as i age.
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    Or sx first. Not really sure yet. But definitely becoming more sp as i age.
    tell me your distinction for parsing out sx first from sp-first

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    escaping anndelise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kill4Me View Post
    tell me your distinction for parsing out sx first from sp-first
    If i had a method for that, i wouldnt be confused about which was first for me.
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    EDIT: what does it feel like when things are going well? what are the pleasurable or meaningful aspects of it?

    I'm trying to figure out what the "reward" of sp is
    The benefits of sp for me would be peace/quiet, freedom, independence, comfort (both physical and spiritual).
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    EDIT: what does it feel like when things are going well? what are the pleasurable or meaningful aspects of it?

    I'm trying to figure out what the "reward" of sp is
    One thing to keep in mind is that the enneagram is about fixations, in general how we avoid the 3 Aversive Emotions.
    * Uncertainty and Fear (mind)
    * Obstacles and Frustrated wants/desires (gut)
    * Loss of attachment/support (heart)
    (I have better phrases for these three, but i can't find my notes right now)

    So for benefits of each instinct, imagine how a healthy person who has found successful ways of handling the aversive emotions might approach the sp related areas of life. Maybe...
    A person who feels confident and calm regarding sp related matters.
    A person who has released attachment to materialistic items.
    A person who is comfortable being alone with just themselves.
    A person who is self-reliant.
    A person who has a secure sense of self, and is able to assert their personal boundaries as needed, without stepping over others'.
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    Kill4Me's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    I'm trying to figure out what the "reward" of sp is
    you got a better shot at making it to old age...I don't call that a reward, though

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kill4Me View Post
    you got a better shot at making it to old age...I don't call that a reward, though
    Well, if this is how we're putting it, i dont call going out and doing wild partying, drinking, getting high, and being promiscuous until 4am every night or even once a week much of a reward either. It's exhausting and debilitating from all angles (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual).
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suz View Post
    Well, if this is how we're putting it, i dont call going out and doing wild partying, drinking, getting high, and being promiscuous until 4am every night or even once a week much of a reward either. It's exhausting and debilitating from all angles (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual).
    its a misconception that sp-firsts don't party. many do. sx-instinct's reckless/insatiableness is an altogether different animal.

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kill4Me View Post
    its a misconception that sp-firsts don't party. many do.
    i know, just like your statement was a misconception.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suz View Post
    i know, just like your statement was a misconception.
    Copycat

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    Moderator xerx's Avatar
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    I might be sp.

    I avoid junk food, go to the gym regularly, and exercise whenever I can ( I have a nice body ).

    I have zero debt and a huge savings account.

    Not sure if that helps.

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    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    I might be sp.
    fwiw i've actually thought this for a while. not that it's important (or like you asked, or anything)

    in general i guess i'm wondering what sp actually feels like physically and spiritually. b/c when i watch people w/ sp instincts my Si picks up on it, it's a totally distinct physical energy that emanates off of them and is obvious. for all my Si i can't enter that state usually (or at least i imagine i'm not there). it's frustrating. i want someone to describe to me what it's like

    also what makes sp feel "good"? somebody describe to me the most decadent of sp-pleasures, and not just the symptoms of being an Sp person (although i'm happy to hear about that too )

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    Moderator xerx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    fwiw i've actually thought this for a while. not that it's important (or like you asked, or anything)

    in general i guess i'm wondering what sp actually feels like physically and spiritually. b/c when i watch people w/ sp instincts my Si picks up on it, it's a totally distinct physical energy that emanates off of them and is obvious. for all my Si i can't enter that state usually (or at least i imagine i'm not there). it's frustrating. i want someone to describe to me what it's like

    also what makes sp feel "good"? somebody describe to me the most decadent of sp-pleasures, and not just the symptoms of being an Sp person (although i'm happy to hear about that too )
    I've never thought about the enneagram in much detail (seriously), but the drive I associate with my own sp stacking (assuming I'm indeed sp first or second) is tied to maximizing the feeling of bodily, financial and personal integrity. By analogy, it is making sure that the base of the structure is robust and can weather anything thrown at it.

    e.g. it feels good sitting on a pile of savings and being secure against bankruptcy, or having a healthy body and being secure against diabetes, to put it in simple but instructive terms.

    It seeps into the intellectual realm via a preoccupation with making sure my arguments are air-tight, obsessing over trivial mistakes when performing a craft and having high standards for personal workmanship, etc.

    That's the gist of it, but it's not as anal as it sounds.

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    I've never thought about the enneagram in much detail (seriously), but the drive I associate with my own sp stacking (assuming I'm indeed sp first or second) is tied to maximizing the feeling of bodily, financial and personal integrity.
    YES. i resonate with this as well. Emphasis most heavily on personal integrity, but all 3 are important to my sanity. Financially, I'm not particularly wealth-focused but, for example, paying money that i owe (bills, loans, etc) is what i see as a component of being a responsible individual and leaving such things undone weighs unpleasantly on me until i do it.

    p.s. i'd like to think that most people emphasize personal integrity though, irrespective of instinct stacking...
    Last edited by Suz; 11-20-2014 at 04:32 AM.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    I think I'm sx/sp

    I do sp things, eat good food and stuff to keep myself from exploding.

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    you can go to where your heart is Galen's Avatar
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    Self-pres in the secondary position feels rather like a concrete wall on all sides, and your instinct is to somehow break through it. The surface appears rigid and unyielding, but there's a lot of activity inside yearning to bust loose. Without a safe space to come out of that shell, the energy ends up stifled, internally compressed behind the prison bars. A lot of sp-secondaries can have rather withdrawn and disaffected presentations, but it often belies a much stronger modus operandi. It's like they are perpetually waiting for some opportunity to break loose from their cages and connect with the outside world.

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    do any more sp people have thoughts?

    i have found this thread helpful and nice!

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    Moderator xerx's Avatar
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    Is avoiding risk a necessary part of sp? Because I take a lot.

    How about the overriding of passions and ideals by force of serious pragmatic concerns? Does that only become a factor when the fixation is unhealthy?

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    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    Is avoiding risk a necessary part of sp? Because I take a lot.

    How about the overriding of passions and ideals by force of serious pragmatic concerns? Does that only become a factor when the fixation is unhealthy?
    I the second instinct is "freer" when first one is taken care of. at the same time though, the second instinct can be still pretty functional while the first is crashing and burning.

    i think sp-first people, depending on their personalities, can take risks on sp for the sake of future or bigger sp-gains. or when unhealthy they can just disregard their safety period. or they might want to prove that their sp isn't totally in control of them.

    but it might be worth taking a look at what drives the risks, what it's pivoting around.

    EDIT: but you know. serious pragmatic concerns are serious pragmatic concerns. those affect everyone...

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    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    Is avoiding risk a necessary part of sp? Because I take a lot.
    no but sp-first risk-taking is risk for self-preservation's sake...

    How about the overriding of passions and ideals by force of serious pragmatic concerns?
    doesn't get any more sp than that....

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    Feeling fucking fantastic golden's Avatar
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    I bought a 3-pack of jumbo ziploc bags and felt a mild ecstasy at unfolding them and seeing how they were the perfect affordable, space-saving solution to my seasonal storage needs. This isn't something I'd say comes naturally to me ... I've clawed and clambered every inch of the way to master basic physical / spatial issues. It's satisfying, because it's earned.

    Also earned, and maintained and renegotiated, is what I call "feeling the contours of my own being," which I guess sounds cheesy. But yeah there's a sense of containment of my energy, it feels coiled up and purposeful, like I have a secret, I might or might not share it, maybe I'll let you in, maybe not.

    Or maybe I'm just imagining all that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by GOLDEN View Post
    I bought a 3-pack of jumbo ziploc bags and felt a mild ecstasy at unfolding them and seeing how they were the perfect affordable, space-saving solution to my seasonal storage needs. This isn't something I'd say comes naturally go me ... I've clawed and clambered every inch of the way to master basic physical / spatial issues. It's satisfying, because it's earned.

    Also earned, and maintained and renegotiated, is what I call "feeling the contours of my own being," which I guess sounds cheesy. But yeah there's a sense of containment of my energy, it feels coiled up and purposeful, like I have a secret, I might or might not share it, maybe I'll let you in, maybe not.

    Or maybe I'm just imagining all that.
    this basically sounds like the best thing ever.

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    Feeling fucking fantastic golden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    this basically sounds like the best thing ever.
    It might or might not be Sp. It's definitely pleasant.

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    Almost certain of sp-first for myself, and relate to a lot of what @Suz and @lungs have already said. Although I really don't mind jumping in and thinking about (not dwelling on) the "darkness and despair" that Suz mentioned in post #2; that may or may not be related to the stacking.

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roro View Post
    Almost certain of sp-first for myself, and relate to a lot of what @Suz and @lungs have already said. Although I really don't mind jumping in and thinking about (not dwelling on) the "darkness and despair" that Suz mentioned in post #2; that may or may not be related to the stacking.
    you're right i think that might be more related to sx last than to sp first. Or NTR...
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roro View Post
    Almost certain of sp-first for myself, and relate to a lot of what @Suz and @lungs have already said. Although I really don't mind jumping in and thinking about (not dwelling on) the "darkness and despair" that Suz mentioned in post #2; that may or may not be related to the stacking.
    No, i'm with you there... i dont mind thinking about it, but as you said, i prefer not to dwell and wallow in it like some people do (and i think it probably is stacking related, at least what i'm seeing here on the forum). EDIT: or idk, just attitude-related perhaps...

    To me, darkness and despair only mean that things can get better from there. The wheel of fortune.
    Last edited by Suz; 11-25-2014 at 05:05 AM.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

  33. #33
    Darn Socks DirectorAbbie's Avatar
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    Best as I can figure:

    I want to be close to another person, but it doesn't happen. For instance, in elementary school, I kept wanting a bff, the kind I read about in books. But making that happen is like doing the "taco tongue' thing most people can do. It just doesn't happen. I did social things and had friends, but no bff.

    This might be related to sx-last or unrelated to enneagram; what do you think?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

  34. #34
    Honorary Ballsack
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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    Best as I can figure:

    I want to be close to another person, but it doesn't happen. For instance, in elementary school, I kept wanting a bff, the kind I read about in books. But making that happen is like doing the "taco tongue' thing most people can do. It just doesn't happen. I did social things and had friends, but no bff.

    This might be related to sx-last or unrelated to enneagram; what do you think?
    I can do a "clover tongue", which makes me feel extra special.

    I think that this could very well be related to being sx last. It could also be related to your type as well. I know a few Te dominants and they seem to take much longer in forming friendships, especially the more intimate kind. There's a guy that I have considered a friend for well over a year, and I think he has only recently showed signs that the friendships is reciprocated. He now talks to me about more personal things and just looks less guarded. I would say he is sx last as well.
    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ____________________________________________
    It's interesting, as sp/sx I spent much of my time alone pursuing my own interests, but I always had a desire to have one really good friend to share some of these interests with. I would keep one best friend for years. We would share one, maybe two interests, and hanging out usually revolved around them or some related activity. Before high school, most of these hangouts were what we called "sleep overs". These happened maybe once a month, if that, but that is all the contact I really needed.

    When I feel a connection to someone, I tend to pursue them a bit to form a friendship, or allow myself to be pursued. What's important is that there is some sort of a special bond, understanding, or interest that brings us together. Too much friendship is draining though. For me, it's important to have one really good friend to let my guard down and share things with, just as long as it doesn't become a competitive or dramatic relationship. I prefer all of my relationships to be devoid of these things.
    Last edited by Skepsis; 11-21-2014 at 02:18 PM.
    Important to note! People who share "indentical" socionics TIMs won't necessarily appear to be very similar, since they have have different backgrounds, experiences, capabilities, genetics, as well as different types in other typological systems (enneagram, instinctual variants, etc.) all of which also have a sway on compatibility and identification. Thus, Socionics type "identicals" won't necessarily be identical i.e. highly similar to each other, and not all people of "dual" types will seem interesting, attractive and appealing to each other.

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    Best as I can figure:

    I want to be close to another person, but it doesn't happen. For instance, in elementary school, I kept wanting a bff, the kind I read about in books. But making that happen is like doing the "taco tongue' thing most people can do. It just doesn't happen. I did social things and had friends, but no bff.

    This might be related to sx-last or unrelated to enneagram; what do you think?
    sx-lasts don't get obsessed with/hooked into others the way that sx-firsts can...that member Nicole was 'sx/sp-come-off-the-track', for example.

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    Best as I can figure:

    I want to be close to another person, but it doesn't happen. For instance, in elementary school, I kept wanting a bff, the kind I read about in books. But making that happen is like doing the "taco tongue' thing most people can do. It just doesn't happen. I did social things and had friends, but no bff.

    This might be related to sx-last or unrelated to enneagram; what do you think?
    I have an LSE sx-last friend and she has somehow similar problems (although she's an extreme case). She's friends with many girls and very popular and likable (she never fights with any girls and they all adore her, because she isn't catty and competitive about sx stuff - also because she's really fun to be around ofc lol), but she never had a " ride or die bestie" in that girly way - she's friends with all people almost the same, up to a certain point, but she can't get past that intimacy stage, where you really connect with a friend and become "one". All her relationships are kinda sterile - you can laugh together, but you can't really hug her all of the sudden or hold her hand, or really open up to her - she totally frizzes. She only gives you lots of hugs when drunk It's like there's an invisible intimacy wall around her, guarding her. Lots of it certainly has to do to with her being E3, but her being sx last at the same time also makes for an extremely inaccessible combo. I would think that with E1 it would be somehow similar.

    She got her first bf after college and it's funny, cause he's really a catch (extremely smart and attractive) and you would think she would appreciate him a bit more, and be really anxious about losing him, since she has such problems connecting with anyone. The guy was head over heels with her after a day, and then she was deciding if she likes him for the next 5 months (while spending every minute together). In her own words it took her 5 months to "except him in her heart and get used to him" They were together for a month when she was complaining to me how it bothers her how he breathes in her neck while sleeping lol.

    And now, after 2 years, they have one of the best relationships out of all people I know - they're really happy and together 24/7. But still, when I talk to her and we talk about some negative scenarios that can come up in life, she cold-bloodidly says that she would definitely leave him and delete all contacts immediately if he would cheat and that she would also leave if he would become disabled (she even said that in a joking matter, like "oops, sorry, i won't waste my life in that case" ) To me it's unfathomable to even think in such rational terms about someone you love, because it physically hurts too much to think about it.

    She's really a friendly and extremely loyal person otherwise and I'm sure she loves him the best she can, it's just that this is the absolute most that she can connect with any human being.

    It's also funny when we talk about how women say that when you have a child you get totally overprotective and you feel the love and bond with your child you've never felt before. To me that's just common sense, I can totally put myself in the shoes of women who have a child and just feel their love - I always cry as a mofo when I watch somebody giving birth on TV lol, but she talks like: "Oh, yes, I guess it's probably like that, others have said so, so it must be true... I hope it will happen to me."

    So this is how a really strong sx blind spot looks like in real life (influenced with LSE and E3).

  37. #37

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    Quote Originally Posted by darya View Post

    And now, after 2 years, they have one of the best relationships out of all people I know - they're really happy and together 24/7. But still, when I talk to her and we talk about some negative scenarios that can come up in life, she cold-bloodidly says that she would definitely leave him and delete all contacts immediately if he would cheat and that she would also leave if he would become disabled (she even said that in a joking matter, like "oops, sorry, i won't waste my life in that case" ) To me it's unfathomable to even think in such rational terms about someone you love, because it physically hurts too much to think about it.
    omg. i had an equally scary conversation recently with a longtime E7 sp/so ILE friend. I asked him recently about his experience meeting his current gf (they are talking about marriage.) he said, "well... when I met her... I felt that there was good potential, not only for a relationship to exist, but for it to be positive in my life. it was during a transitional stage... I'd come off of depression, suddenly I had a new city and stable job. and then that. it felt like it was all falling together"

    and then that's where he stopped. it was like he was reaching to describe something more, but his brain couldn't get there

    I like him a lot and i can understand how those things are meaningful but i felt so sad after that convo

  38. #38
    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    omg. i had an equally scary conversation recently with a longtime E7 sp/so ILE friend. I asked him recently about his experience meeting his current gf (they are talking about marriage.) he said, "well... when I met her... I felt that there was good potential, not only for a relationship to exist, but for it to be positive in my life. it was during a transitional stage... I'd come off of depression, suddenly I had a new city and stable job. and then that. it felt like it was all falling together"

    and then that's where he stopped. it was like he was reaching to describe something more, but his brain couldn't get there
    Or it was too private and he just didn't want to keep going. That kind of thing does happen to me sometimes.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suz View Post
    Or it was too private and he just didn't want to keep going. That kind of thing does happen to me sometimes.
    i considered that but it didn't feel like it.

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    "well... when I met her... I felt that there was good potential, not only for a relationship to exist, but for it to be positive in my life. it was during a transitional stage... I'd come off of depression, suddenly I had a new city and stable job. and then that. it felt like it was all falling together"
    Wow, how sad would it make her feel if she heard him say that about her. That's why it's so important that people with compatible stackings mate

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