Originally Posted by Eliza Thomason
You don't even try to bring about understanding, because that would mean you would have to try to actually understand the other person and/or the problem,
instead of ignoring it and allowing it to fester.
You don't try to reach a mutual understanding, nor to find possible resolutions, nor to clear the air. Instead you talk "me, me, me," and have to keep telling the person how you are so good and kind and generous.
Your selective attention and selective memory allows you to see only what you want to see, or what you've presumed from the start. I'm sure you do this irl too, and that many people just get so frustrated trying to reseaon with you that they just give up and placate you by telling yes, ok, you're a good person, (which is the only "reasoning" you respond to). And then that's what you cling to and remember, quickly forgetting what the topic of the conver had even been about. As witnessed by you not remembering the original topic of the PMs we had just exchanged.
For a small example of your selective attention/memory and your functioning off of preconceived presumptions..., even in this own thread, when *I* don't want to derail WAs thread, I'm an "Asker", but when someone else doesn't want to derail it, then you tell them that only
a "Declarer" would be concerned about that. But do you alter your understanding of the person or the dichotomy? No. You continue with your presumptions you made of them before you had even spent time studying socionics.
Another example...Like how for a few years you kept saying how you and WA were sooo much alike, which meant you and she were iee and anyone not like you both wasn't iee. But now that she's thinking ile, suddenly you see all
those differences you hadn't noticed before because you were responding to her on the presumption that she was iee like you. This is more like what a rational type does than an irrational type. Which is one, of many
, reasons why i don't believe you are iee, but instead are ese.