what would this say

[pesto]

ENFj.

Not impossible. I didn't initially get a Beta vibe though. But ENFjs are such chameleons that you never know They just put on different masks and sound different.

I doubt most of them would ever say they like hieararchies for instance. But what Newbie said about wanting to be and to be seen as confident could be an ENFj's way to put it. It's not that I want to be seen as unconfident, because that tends to make people run me over, but other than that I couldn't care less.

Also the thing about not wanting to give advice when being given confidence. When people confide in me I will come up with suggestions (after having listened), not because I think it's the ultimate solution, but it could at least be something for them to use. I'll give advice whether you want them or not. :wink: My ENFj sister on the other hand is a fairly good listener, but don't give the feedback I expect from her.

And note that none of the INFjs are saying Newbie is one.

So, is there sort of a common bond among the INFjs here, that you can all identify with each other and sense whether someone is one of you? How does that work? Are you able to tell pretty quickly? I found it interesting that Joy said that I sound like Diana, she's an INFj isn't she? Do you find that you identify with her?

When I read a description like this I sometimes pick up on details pretty quickly that I either see in myself or as possible for someone much like me living a different life. But my and other INFj's gut reaction is only an indication, not proof of anything. I often identify with Diana in the everyday conversational things, but when it comes to describing type specific things we often contradict each other.

About wanting to both be confident and seen as confident -- I've found that people relate better to me when they get the sense that I'm confident in myself. They are less likely to try to run over me or manipulate me, or brush me off. It's not so I can be "top dog" or anything like that, because I don't aspire to that at all, but I do like to be treated with respect, not talked down to, or ran over. When I'm not feeling confident, it's hard to appear confident, and the way I'm treated at those times reflects that.

Yeah. Me myself am satisfied with only being seen as not unconfident and not being walked over. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being seen as confident or being ENFj for that matter, but it's not important enough for me to mention. That could just be me marking words though. The way I define confident is often different from how most others see it, it has to do with being secure about who I am and not the image I project. > and > etc.