I've got male ESI. We've known each other for a long time as he was my trainer when I started MA in primary school. I found him after several years on the internet and I was really the initiating side. But I guess it was him who thought about something more once he judged me as 'normal'. Also, he was ending his previous relationship then (which I didn't know at that time) and he didn't really want to meet with me in person. I didn't understand what's going on (especially that it was going to be only a friendly meeting for me). I suspected something like that gf maybe but I was at a loss. And he could somehow keep me talking to him. Non-verbal assurance he wants to talk with me or something. It was like I was the active side but it was him who took care of making the relationship closer and closer, so I could take the initiative a step further.

I think he's more withdrawn emotionally in comparison to female ESI. He can be harsh, he can shout, he can fight for what he believes is right or his "territory" but just isn't so aggressive in attitude if you know what I mean. Maybe he's just Fi-subtype. What might be different also, he doesn't try to keep me close all the time. We can spend together a lot of time but we can do many things alone and it's perfectly fine.

For me it's hard to do all the things connected to the relationship. I love spending time with him but I need to work and to do many things at once. I feel an inside pressure if I don't so part of me doesn't really want to meet up. But we do. And I don't find it to be a waste. I guess this is the ESI's work.

Not sure if I'm more fi-oriented than other LIEs as the 5th function goes like crazy. He buys me clothes, helps me to chose them, goes with me to buy schoes, etc. He tries to limit my activities to those money-able And I really like that ethical stability.