How dooes one know if SLE/ESTp is sincere or manipulative?

[dreamer]

How will anyone know if you're sincere or manipulative in your intentions?

[XoX]

How will anyone know if you're sincere or manipulative in your intentions?

In my opinion...you can't Except after a very long time you may learn to trust certain things. Just assume they are not sincere. Well, think of cats. ESTps are like cats. They can't be tamed, they care only for their own needs, they always do what they want and if you stop giving them food they will leave you. But still they are kinda sweet sometimes You just keep feeding them and hoping that some day they will rub themselves against your leg for a second and let you rub them a bit and then they leave again. But it is still worth it if you know how to take it right I don't know how they are in long term intimate relationships but my friend ESTp is really like a cat. If you are a dog person...don't bother. Go for ESTjs instead

[oyburger]

Wow XoX, you hit the nail on the head!.

If an ESTp wants you to know the real them and you're perceptive enough you can figure out when they're being manipulative.

My ESTps motto is to never use manipulation on someone you love because bad things will happen.

After 9 years, I can watch him manipulate others and I'm baffeled as to how they can't see through it

[Animal]

I can always tell when they are being insincere. I used to fall for it, but you become jaded after a while and my B.S. detector has become fine-tuned to the workings of ESTp braggadocio.

You need a calculating mind yourself to know the workings of another calculating mind. "It takes one to know one." And that's the dirty truth about INFp-ESTp duality.

[Joy]

The only thing that's ever worked for me is using their predictablility to get a have in order to deal effectively with ESTps. I don't know how to explain it. I've always been good at dealing with ESTps though. Their bullshit does not intimidate me, nor am I impressed. They can be funny and helpful though.

I think I'll start a thread.

[WVBRY]

I never had the impression they were being manipulative, unless of course by manipulative you mean something other than the opposite of "up front".

[dreamer]

ESTPs are shady characters and I'm insecure...bad bad bad.

[XoX]

ESTPs are shady characters and I'm insecure...bad bad bad.

Why do you want to know about ESTps btw? Just out of curiosity or are you having one in your life right now?

[oyburger]

ESTPs are shady characters and I'm insecure...bad bad bad.

I think thats a self perservation method. If they want to get to know you, don't worry about. Otherwise be guarded and don't get to attached.

[dreamer]

I don't like conflict but I find my 'conflictors' to be fascinating so I'm just wondering, trying to figure out...and there's one ESTP floating around and I have some regret and questions about that but...

yes, Herzy is shady.

there's like no one who I don't have a very understandable relationship with, this one is puzzling and keeps me guessing which is fun in its own way but...

think of it as 'research'

[oyburger]

Unless you're in a serious relationship with them dreamer, don't be hurt if they lose interest in you. Its not you, they can have short attention spans when it comes to people.
(no offense Herzy)

[UDP]

[HumanBean]

blah

[XoX]

Dreamer you make me seriously consider being INFj, lol. I have always been interested in ESTps because of the mystery etc. It doesn't work with ENTps the same way. ENTps are more likely to get me irritated with their tricks but for some reason the "irritating" things ESTps do seem to just make me more curious (unless they are openly hostile or something).

HumanBean talked about keeping friends...Would this be a bit dependent on the ESTp? Perhaps women being a bit more interested in building a lasting social network?

Anways I have been able to keep in touch with a guy ESTp for over 20 years now. But currently I feel like I'm just a distant part of his network. So he hasn't completely forgotten about me. We were more or less "party friends" i.e. we used to party together. Now we are older and parties are few and far between so we don't spend much time together anymore.

So do ESTps generally do this kind of thing where they assign roles to people like "ok, he is fun to party with but otherwise he is boring so I keep him around but only contact him when I need to gather a party group". This has actually been true with other ESTps too, those I have known for a shorter time. I get assigned a role in their life and they are only interested in my company whenever they need something from me (e.g. party company, help with studies, help in moving to new apartment, someone to do some sports with, someone to play a game with, ...)

One interesting thing comes to mind but I'm not sure if this is ESTp related or not. There may pass a long time where an ESTp doesn't contact me at all. Then if some "get together" or event is approaching suddenly I start to get SMS messages, e-mails and perhaps phone calls. It seems as if the ESTp is somehow warming up our relationship before we meet. After the event the communication completely stops until it starts again just before we are about to meet again.

[dreamer]

That might be it...a role. That's irritating. What am I...
Yeah. They like to 'warm up' before becoming 'friendly.'

Women probably cares a bit more. Have you ever heard of guys keeping in touch with ten of their ex girlfriends? Some women do that.

For me, if you're in, you're in and I'll always be around to listen, help, etc. If not, you're not but you have to be clear with me.

You don't wanna be INFJ unless you're INFJ.
Actually, you don't wanna be any type unless you are.
There's always something negative about each type. Some stereotypical triat, often true, that's hard to accept.