INTj - Advice For

[Creepy-]

it would be awesome if we could make this a sticky, and I think there should be one for every type in their quadra. Basically I wanted to start (a series?) thread about people of the same type (or even others) giving advice to a certain type.

Of course INTjs can use help in lots of areas, but I'm sure others can too.

Tips along the way that you might want to recomment to others so they can get better and possibly learn from your mistakes, something like that.



We'll see how it goes

[Raver]

I like this idea, hope it develops.

[discojoe]

Topic title, written by Yoda it was.

[Fry]

i like this idea. so, where is the adivce?

[aestrivex]

eat three million oranges per day.

[stefana]

......

[oyburger]

eat three million oranges per day.

Yum, thanks for the advice.

[Creepy-]

(..... way to be proactive....)

Alright, I'll go first

• Go to the library, INTjs. It took me way too long to realize the library had some good books, even if they are hard to find. If you think everyone writes crap, that is because most of them do - don't worry, and keep looking. Check out self help, self improvement, business, spirituality, or any field that interests you or may interest you. Libraries are great things, and they are relatively low cost forms of entertainment and substance. You can reap many rewards at the library, and you can meet people who will be interested in you there. Consider book clubs or anything else. Also, the library can be a quiet place, which are invaluable to INTjs.
  
• Check out Covey's books: "The 7 Habits of Highly Effetive People" and "The 8th Habit" if you can. (Library). (I'm still reading them but they are great). This can help give you direction and a pre-developed system for going about things -- one that you can improve upon and generate ideas from. Also, something like this will eventually show you the importance of interacting with others which will be invaluable for you in life.
  
  If you just don't like Covey or whatever, then just check out whatever other similar books that you may be interested in. PM me about this if you have any questions because I am williing to talk about this sort of thing. Eventually, you can write all your own stuff if you want, but books like this can give you ideas - and inspiration, a push forward - and other things that you might need or help out.
  
• Consider spirituality...
  (I'm still waiting to investigate in terms of spirituality, but it really is interesting right now - more in other threads)
  
  Consider spirituality.
  INTjs are known for somewhat being "anti religious", but perhaps this is familiar to you: "I do not call myself a (Christian), but I somewhat feel like I live more religiously than my (Christian) friend does". Etc. If you look in the right places, I believe you can find a spirituality that is there, one that is not so interfered with by 'religion'.... or, if it is your preference, you can see any religion you want to in a deeper spiritual way. (I'm very interested in this lately, so pm me if you want to talk about it)
  
  --
  --
  
• WHATEVER you find interesting, right it down, and pursue it. Of course see it in terms of your priorities and such, but don't just forget something....
  
• I strongly recommend having a notebook or several. Daily logs that you write in once - just to keep focused and stay on track - help a lot. Besides, if you are more intuitive, then you'll be having great ideas all the time - write them down and use them. It will help you in life, and also boost your confidence if you see somethin gyou thought actually get put into reality. Besides, we're idea people. Embrace this.
  
• Along with keeping notebooks.... consider a sort of to do list or other thing, just so that you can be aware of the practical things that you need to do. Laundry is important, and you don't want to forget about your clothes, leaving them in the washer or dryer for too long, because they could get worse, or someone could steal them. Things like that.
  
  --
  --
  
  
• DON"T FORGET ABOUT YOUR HEALTH - buy good chairs, and invest in health routines, fitness, etc. Make sure you do not sit for more than an hour at a time, and be aware of maintaining your health, and eye sight, and such. Practice things like Qi Gong or whatever other sort of light physical (or otherwise) activity that you can do at your comfort level, which may very well include something you can do alone. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE GOOD SHOES
  
• Eat at least 3 meals a day. If you begin to feel strange, tired, or depressed.... did you eat recently? You might need it. Or sleep. Basically, learn your body and try to develop a health and productive routine. Having a healthy thing to munch on or keep with you throughout the day is good. I like large bottles of water or containers- because I can just fill them up once and they last a while, and if I have something with me I will remember to drink it.
  
• Hygiene. Do it. Know it. Live it. Love it. If youhave any questions, ask someone who knows the art of hygiene, or someone who loves you, or preferable both. My mom (ISTj neatfreak) always told me I wasn't using enough shampoo when I was young, and I totally shrugged it of (no one tells an INTj what to do). She was right, though. I started loosing hair, actually, because I didn't take care of my scalp. Thankfully, I took care of it and now am on a good hygiene schedule. Take quick showers whenever you feel like you need them, in and out. It just helps.
  
• Learn how to dress with some style. Dress for success baby. You don't have to do it all the time, but just be able to know what you should be able to do. You don't want to be some incompetent baby that needs mommy to pick out your clothes, or tie your tie. So drop the diapers and know what you are doing. You can develop your own idiosyncratic style if you like, play around, whatever. Just be aware of your appearance.
  
  --
  --
  
  
• Do not be 'ashamed' of who you are. Negative emotions and such are just a waste of energy and you have so many other better things to be doing. Be proactive and think about the solution.
  
• Seek out people you can really connect to and talk to. Online can help with this, but especially so in real life. I think especially for introverts and even more so for INTjs it is imparative that you have someone you can theoritically discuss issues with, and just talk to in a way. People who can supply you with that can become invaluable to you, because there probably might not be too many of them. I'm usually avalible, but it is best to have someone you can physically talk to. Such things help keep you balanced in the physical world... where as online stuff will just make time go by so fast, and you'llbe needing that shower in no time... but then it will be time to leave and you're unprepared. Etc
  
  --
  --
  
• Study people, personality types and other things to understand how to interact with them. It helps. Even if you don't think it's worth time, make some effort, because interacting with others effectively (interpersonal communication, even) will never go away as something you should be able to do. Socionics et all helps here muchly.
  
• Try to be around ESFjs and similar people. ISFp friends can be invaluable as well.
  
• Learn from ESFp experiences as much as possible without getting too caught up in them. Do not over emphasize the experience you had or analyze it too much... fittingly, an ESFp can demonstrate this very well. If you don't understand it, don't worry. I don't either, in some levels. But that doesn't matter. Recognize the patters and what is associated with such personality types. As with everything else, understanding one person or one personality type, etc, will allow you deeper insight to humanity as a whole.
  
• Through introspection in general and other things, learn about yourself. Your personality type can help reveal things that you may not understand or recognize, and also can be very valuable in realizing to/for yoursel just what it is you are good at and what sort of goals you might want/need for your life to seem fufilling. But also, beyond personality type, discover who you are, your external world identity and all of that. It is my recommendation that you balance this out with some spirituality as mentioned above, but I believe it is important to know yourself on many different levels. The more you know, the more you can act with confidence.
  
  --
  --
  
• Seek balance.
  Be proud to be an INTj, but also be proud to be a human being, and if possible a spirit or soul or whatever sort of spirituality you prefer.
  
• Seek and understand the adventure in life. There probabyl will be times where you feel like you reach some major plateau, or that you know everything, or whatever. But that just means you need to try something else. You don't want your life to turn into an old video game that you know every line to. ...And it is not bad to know everyline to an old video game. Just don't let your life get that way. That means it's time to change.
  
  

add your own, discuss, etc.

[Apollonian]

Nice. Kudos UDP. I wish I had the insight to give a good response. Alas, my days of thorough contemplation on such issues as self-actualization and personal betterment seem to have faded into more monotonous forms of career ambitions.

UDP mentioned journalling. Personally, I've found this exausting at times. What I would recommend is keeping an electronic document of short phrases, thoughts, or famous quotes that strike you as resonant. Date them and then you will be able to track a sort of intellectual progression over time. It has been invaluable for me to maintain a lot of my deeper thoughts over time, allowing me to maintain a level of insight that I would not have otherwise.

Transition periods are interesting times in life when one comes to reflect on the knowledge gained in resent years: the failures, the successes, and the insights. I have a great deal of respect for Stephen Covey and the Franklin Covey foundation. There is no substitute for good values, eschewing the wonton debasement evident in unrestrained pop culture.

Ironically though, I'm not entirely sure that personal betterment is the best road to happiness for the INTj. I find myself wondering if the bias that many of us have toward perfectionism makes the "self-help" genre dangerous. UDP makes mention of spirituality, and I think this touches on something. But there is just as much "self-help" for spirituality as there is for business these days.

I think the one piece of advice that I would add to UDP's comments is this: There comes a point when you need to stop reading and start choosing to live intentionally.

A lot of times I can find myself perfectly happy escaping from the world into the substitute of my complex internal models of reality. I still wonder whether I will ever really be able to connect many of my introspective ideas with many other people.

In any event, life has its ways of working out, one way or another. Most of the battle is maintaining an outlook which is not swayed by the powers of evil, apathy, and ambivalence. My generation seems to especially have trouble with apathy and ambivalence.

[oyburger]

Most of the advice well meaning people try to give me in real life consists of how I need to learn to socialize and that I need to learn to pay attention to details.

Its not that I don't know how to socialize, its that I really don't feel like talking to some random person I don't know and don't care about. I'd rather be doing something else.
As for the details, I get bored very fast and its hard to keep my mind on details without it wondering onto something else.

I don't know maybe I'm just stubborn, I get annoyed with people when they try to tell me that the way I am isn't good enough and that I need to change X, Y and Z in order to fit in with society.

[joseph2505]

1.For INTJs maintaining relation(with emotional attachment) is a special investment & effort . So be very careful in selecting people for relations with
attachment. I recommend, maintain relations with psychological distance except with chosen few . This helps a lot for playing with your strengths. Also
since INTJs has a tendency to hold grudges & difficulty in forgiving above advice helps I believe.

2.Try to be in good terms with all people by keeping enough emotional distance.

3. Focus on your strengths . Weakness can be overcome if you focus more on strengths . Once you reached a confident level , start developing your weak points .

4. Never try to be an extrovert . Please refer to Nancy's ebook for Networking tip for introverts. Use your strengths to network not by becoming an extrovert.

5.Remember when you get angry , you lose . If you become upset walk away immediately.

6. Don't try to become touchy feely or warm fuzzy person . Understand that INTJs most ardent bonds with others will start with the head, rather than the heart

7. Understand that your redefenition of intutive framework needs lot of time & studies especially when you start new projects , getting into new environments etc.
Be patient. Time is very essential for INTJs success.

[oyburger]

4. Never try to be an extrovert . Please refer to Nancy's ebook for Networking tip for introverts. Use your strengths to network not by becoming an extrovert.

I wish someone had told me this between the ages of 7 and 15. I was so outgoing and confident as a small child and when that went away I tried very hard to get back. I ended up accepting that it wasn't ever coming back as a young teenager and I held a lot of anger and resentment for a long time.

The piece of advice I'm currently trying to follow: relax.

[cjcoldmine]

Don't be afraid to say hello to a stranger.

[Logos]

Ironically though, I'm not entirely sure that personal betterment is the best road to happiness for the INTj. I find myself wondering if the bias that many of us have toward perfectionism makes the "self-help" genre dangerous. UDP makes mention of spirituality, and I think this touches on something. But there is just as much "self-help" for spirituality as there is for business these days.

The "self-help" genre is sickening for me. Since INTjs are rare, there are not many self-help books written by INTjs or for INTjs, so the problems that these other authors and readers would encounter are typically not the ones that a INTj would. So some of the "self-help" guides would practically be INTj suicide. INTjs seem to be more the type to go and find their own answers through by using their in conjunction with large assortments of outside information through their .

INTjs do not seem to strive so much for "personal betterment" as much as they do for "greater competency."

[diamond]

Topic title, written by Yoda it was.

hahaha lol

[Mastermind]

Topic title, written by Yoda it was.

I love Yoda.

[UDP]

Ironically though, I'm not entirely sure that personal betterment is the best road to happiness for the INTj. I find myself wondering if the bias that many of us have toward perfectionism makes the "self-help" genre dangerous. UDP makes mention of spirituality, and I think this touches on something. But there is just as much "self-help" for spirituality as there is for business these days.

The "self-help" genre is sickening for me. Since INTjs are rare, there are not many self-help books written by INTjs or for INTjs, so the problems that these other authors and readers would encounter are typically not the ones that a INTj would. So some of the "self-help" guides would practically be INTj suicide. INTjs seem to be more the type to go and find their own answers through by using their in conjunction with large assortments of outside information through their .

INTjs do not seem to strive so much for "personal betterment" as much as they do for "greater competency."

(That's why I want someone to Type Stephen Covey!!)

[xiuxiu]

grow beards

[UDP]

grow beards

How do you do that?


You know I've been doing a lot of thinking lately when I don't shave and my beard comes forth. Some people are facial hair inclined, and I am one of them. I suppose it is lated to my 48ppday count here. I can't help it, though, the site has been down for a month it seems, and I've had this building up for some time.

Just think of an ESxP in middle of their weekly whore/heat period, you know, thursday to tuesday. Like that.

[xiuxiu]

i think i would fall into the less facial hair inclined category, though not at the behest any lax effort.

[oyburger]

grow beards

I could be wrong, but that might look odd on me, got any other advice?

[UDP]

Mmm, burger w/ beard -- I could see that being not so great

[FDG]

grow beards

I could be wrong, but that might look odd on me, got any other advice?

Change sex, grow beard

[oyburger]

grow beards

I could be wrong, but that might look odd on me, got any other advice?

Change sex, grow beard

Interesting, but expensive, useless advice

[FDG]

grow beards

I could be wrong, but that might look odd on me, got any other advice?

Change sex, grow beard

Interesting, but expensive, useless advice

Eeheh, you're right