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    Default How to interpret ESTj's signals and behavior

    Hi LSEs,

    Right, if an (opposite gender) LSE (irrational subtype, most likely) seems to be

    1. in no hurry to end conversations whenever he chats with you (and apparently preferentially so), to the extent of often running late for something else (work-related that sometimes seems that it might have repercussions to miss - some kind of extra work, at any rate), which he might mention but still with no indication of hurry or sometimes even expressing comfort to miss it (this confuses me because he then seems reluctant when i offer the logical thing of ceasing the conversation, in case he was hinting he needs to go - and we'd still oftentimes end up continuing to talk well past the time he mentioned), and

    2. if the conversations are very easy and comfortable (bear in mind that I am LII, and people who consider it comfortable to have long chats with me and even regret ending it is a phenomenon of rarity) and includes a high degree of confiding and laughter, and eye contact.


    Are these normal in the range of typical friendliness for an LSE, or is it out of the ordinary behavior, even if there is no romantic content in the conversations? I mean, it does not seem to be particularly logical behavior, whereas he is otherwise completely logical. Or does it mean interest, only that since he's delta, he will be taking an interminable length of time to work out whether it is worthwhile to pursue it? Or does it mean something entirely different? What other behaviors are important in the different contexts, if the above two is insufficient to be conclusive? The inconsistency is driving me nuts, being unable to assign an explanation to it, and wondering if I'm supposed to be doing something or not.

    Could I also ask upfront, to please refrain from disputing each other's posts so that I can get the perspectives I'm looking for before the thread turns into an argument?

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    Hi

    If an LSE is in no hurry to leave a conversation with you it means he likes you.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Hi

    If an LSE is in no hurry to leave a conversation with you it means he likes you.
    I dont disagree.

    LSEs are usually on a very tight schedule, due to their strong value of efficiency. So if this LSE slows down to engage in conversation with you, that is promising.
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    I dont disagree.

    LSEs are usually on a very tight schedule, due to their strong value of efficiency. So if this LSE slows down to engage in conversation with you, that is promising.
    I also don't disagree, but would like to add that from what I have noticed they do not always necessarily have a planned schedule, nor are always that efficient. Their schedule usually consists of something always needing to be done NOW. If you say later, without good reason, then you are a dog f*cker, and LSE's can't stand dog f*ckers. They may say, "Seriously what is taking you so looongg!!!", when in reality, it has only been one minute. LSE's do not have one minute. They had one minute, one minute ago. Luckily they like to move on, especially from unpleasant feelings like having to wait. Unless you waste their time AGAIN. (and I feel for the conflictors here because I see both sides of the story). The time is always now for an LSE.

    The ironic thing is that sometimes NOW consists of doing nothing at all. Because LSE's can also be really lazy and chill and just want to do nothing (with their best freinds of course). Better just do nothing along with them, cause they like the company, OR, go find your own project way off to the side that the LSE has been putting off and earn bonus points with them (of course your not going to get a typical "thank-you", you are going to see their appreciation in other ways - maybe they will tease you playfully, or in a classic example, whine about how you are not near them. At this point you can bet they are happy with you and you are in the inner circle.)

    LSE will pull you into a conversation and talk circles around you, this is also a good sign because they are trying to gauge your reactions. Best to play along with them, maybe show some genuine feelings like irritation (but with a slight smile) and you are on your way. OR better yet, show that what they say makes you feel joyfull and hello, they love this.

    I hear say that the signals of these people are hard to read and I agree, THEY ARE. The one thing though is that if you remain patient, and consistent, then the LSE's are going to try and find the words themselves for you, which is hard for them to do, and they are not always eloquent, but at those times they are being honest and the one rule at times of confession is to listen wholeheartedly with understanding. Mockery, or flakiness at times like this is sheer treachery for the revealing LSE especially if you are a person whose opinion is valued by them. Remember, they get to lead with the jokes and will be confused if you make fun of them cruelly at times like this according to their perceptions of your words. This comes from a inner sensitivity that causes them to become frustrated, or perhaps on the opposite end become very quite towards you because of what they perceived as the totally wrong answer (which of course may or not be true of what you actually said, each LSE is highly different and each LSE needs lots of attention). They will want to clear the air with you and if they see how you behave over time, they will trust you enough to show you themselves what they think, do not think, like, don't like, appreciate, don't appreciate. If they are giving you this feed back trust that this is an extremely fortunate sign for you. It means they trust you.

    Patients and consistency on your part are key. It matters little how they react because over time, to them it's about how you react and also how much you accept about them.
    At key times talk about things that really matter, sentiments that are really important to you will make you look good in their eyes because I guaranty you will be pleasantly surprised that they too share the same sentiments about people and relationships. It's as though the ease of utility they have in real world objects is the same ease that others have in "soft skills" like interpersonal relationships. LSE's, without saying as much, value interpersonal relationships in a way that makes them mindful, but again this is not always apparent, nor obvious, especially when they can behave so poorly, or coldly, or gruffly, or impatiently, or sadly, or disinterestedly, or with inappropriate humour, or are commandeering the conversation in ways that are totally off topic. They are just as orientated to those soft skills of others as others are orientated to real world skills that LSE's are so masterful at. Keep at it day in and day out.

    Each LSE has his or her own rules about things, even simple things and in the start you should follow them. I know, I know, it's stoopid right? Just do what they are looking for, then over time, very slowly, you can ask them to change by offering up your alternative solutions. Mountains get moved slowly over time and it's the same with the LSE. Just make sure they know you are looking out for them.

    A long conversation with you is a pleasant sign that the LSE has put their attention on you, without faking that attention (which they are apt to do if you are prattling on frivolously.)

    I think that essentially as an LII, you may need to go beyond what is comfortable and natural for you to do and engage him in the conversation first and if you are able to do that then I give you full props because as far as intertypes go, illusionary relationships blow.
    Last edited by wacey; 09-18-2013 at 05:25 PM.

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    You should chart his mind with a statistically significant sample set of cause and effects of him and his reactions to certain stimuli. Before you interact with him, devise several hypothesis on why he has been sending you signals. Once he begins emitting signals, test each hypothesis for validity and discard the failed ones. The successful hypothesis will the most durable when it comes to testing and validation.

    If that's too much work, then just shoot from the hip and assume that he does like you but wants to keep it professional because an office romance can turn sour very quickly if things don't work out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MisterNi View Post
    Before you interact with him, devise several hypothesis on why he has been sending you signals.
    Take valium, seriously.

    Not talking crap, nor dismissing a person can work.

    Even better if one would actually hint at something more, than just "oh we had a convo and he didn't ask me out, duh."

    LUL at hypotheses.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MisterNi View Post
    You should chart his mind with a statistically significant sample set of cause and effects of him and his reactions to certain stimuli. Before you interact with him, devise several hypothesis on why he has been sending you signals. Once he begins emitting signals, test each hypothesis for validity and discard the failed ones. The successful hypothesis will the most durable when it comes to testing and validation.

    If that's too much work, then just shoot from the hip and assume that he does like you but wants to keep it professional because an office romance can turn sour very quickly if things don't work out.
    too much work? that kinda is how my brain works anyway, as a default. only now that i'm older, i don't pay as much attention to its detailed workings anymore. and yes, it is simpler to go with that last assumption. for practical purposes, i am going with that. it doesn't mean i'm not still curious and analytical about it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wacey View Post
    long excellent post on LSEs
    wow Wacey thanks for the great insights...this is socionics gold. dont ever delete it.

    I also don't disagree, but would like to add that from what I have noticed they do not always necessarily have a planned schedule, nor are always that efficient. Their schedule usually consists of something always needing to be done NOW. If you say later, without good reason, then you are a dog f*cker, and LSE's can't stand dog f*ckers. They may say, "Seriously what is taking you so looongg!!!", when in reality, it has only been one minute. LSE's do not have one minute. They had one minute, one minute ago. Luckily they like to move on, especially from unpleasant feelings like having to wait. Unless you waste their time AGAIN. (and I feel for the conflictors here because I see both sides of the story). The time is always now for an LSE.
    Oh this is exactly how my current boss is... unfortunately I will be his only charge as of the end of this month, so i will have his undivided attention. If i dont have some results to show him, he's going to bombard me with emails asking me if i have something to show him yet. (he already does this!). I'd thought he was SLI, maybe Te-SLI, but i wouldn't put LSE past him, now that you mention it. He also often interrupts me mid-sentence which i imagine an SLI probably wouldn't do. I actually hate it when he does that, but I guess that means he's excited...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wacey View Post
    I also don't disagree, but would like to add that from what I have noticed they do not always necessarily have a planned schedule, nor are always that efficient. Their schedule usually consists of something always needing to be done NOW. If you say later, without good reason, then you are a dog f*cker, and LSE's can't stand dog f*ckers. They may say, "Seriously what is taking you so looongg!!!", when in reality, it has only been one minute. LSE's do not have one minute. They had one minute, one minute ago. Luckily they like to move on, especially from unpleasant feelings like having to wait. Unless you waste their time AGAIN. (and I feel for the conflictors here because I see both sides of the story). The time is always now for an LSE.

    I hear say that the signals of these people are hard to read and I agree, THEY ARE. The one thing though is that if you remain patient, and consistent, then the LSE's are going to try and find the words themselves for you, which is hard for them to do, and they are not always eloquent, but at those times they are being honest and the one rule at times of confession is to listen wholeheartedly with understanding. Mockery, or flakiness at times like this is sheer treachery for the revealing LSE especially if you are a person whose opinion is valued by them. Remember, they get to lead with the jokes and will be confused if you make fun of them cruelly at times like this according to their perceptions of your words. This comes from a inner sensitivity that causes them to become frustrated, or perhaps on the opposite end become very quite towards you because of what they perceived as the totally wrong answer (which of course may or not be true of what you actually said, each LSE is highly different and each LSE needs lots of attention). They will want to clear the air with you and if they see how you behave over time, they will trust you enough to show you themselves what they think, do not think, like, don't like, appreciate, don't appreciate. If they are giving you this feed back trust that this is an extremely fortunate sign for you. It means they trust you.
    thank you. i have actually noticed the timing thing, particularly when having to handle parallel lines of highly dynamic work.

    good to know that sharing the above things is likely considered valuable. i can do conversation by now. i think. thanks for responding.

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    what exactly is inconsistent - the fact that he hasn't explicitly expressed interest yet? i think LSEs are generally friendly but the comfort in the conversations is reflective of chemistry between two people and not just an LSE trait. no matter his type, his behavior indicates that he definitely enjoys your company - whether there is romantic interest is kind of impossible to say but the coast is definitely clear to send signals of your own and see how he reacts. do you purposely flirt or anything?

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    How old is this LSE?

    (anyway, as LIE I could act like that both if I had a friendly or romatic interest. With a romantic interest I would act more boastful.)
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    (anyway, as LIE I could act like that both if I had a friendly or romatic interest. With a romantic interest I would act more boastful.)
    Do you do this intentionally, or..? I'm really curious about this behaviour. It seems fairly typical for males, but at least as far as my own preferences go, the more boastful someone is the less likely I am to find them attractive. Apparently it works for some women?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    Do you do this intentionally, or..? I'm really curious about this behaviour. It seems fairly typical for males, but at least as far as my own preferences go, the more boastful someone is the less likely I am to find them attractive. Apparently it works for some women?
    No, I don't do this intentionally, but people who know me well notice the difference compared to my usual behavior around women. I'm normally not very boastful. I don't think it works particularly well, lol, but that's my natural way of being.

    I've never gotten it when people talk about LSEs being obsessive about doing stuff and working. None of the LSEs I hang out with are like that, and I know quite a few
    They are often like that at work, especially in more conservative cultures. In their free time of course they're nothing like that.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    Apparently it works for some women?
    Worked for my friend. We kind of thought he was rather bossy and controlling. But he has mellowed considerably after a few years of marriage and two kids.

    As I recall, it was not like an arrogant kind of boasting, sort of like an assertive 'embellishing' kind of boasting. I reckon it is a projection of himself as a desirable and deserving suitor - which I guess most guys do, but I noticed it particularly from the LIE because it centred around coming across as having socioeconomic means and stature. Rather than romantic gestures or musical ability or whatever. Anyway, my friend seems to actually like feeling like someone's in charge and making the practical decisions, which I suppose she won't tend to get from her dual. And I couldn't really disapprove that much given that she felt his current affairs and decision-making reasoning reminds her of her dual, me Indeed, though I still think he's kind of bossy, I have to say in terms of actual opinions we hold on many current issues - she's right, we concur on a lot of things.

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    I don't know what kind of stuff you were discussing. As for this 'romantic' stuff you're hinting at, he may not know himself.

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    ok age is relevant - 30s. so am i.

    right, content of conversation is relevant - ranges between current work, past work experiences, but more in the sense of thoughts and sharing what each of us took from it, or things that we struggle with or find interesting or surprising, novel experiences we took note of, sometimes personal interests, where we're from, places we've seen. when i say "romantic" i really mean, he does not seem to show any interest in say, asking me out or anything. no idea whether that's important in the least, or highly indicative. for me, even with my friends, i would go if i had to go no matter how interesting the conversation was, unless they have an emergency or something. therefore it does not seem logical to say one has to be somewhere, and purposely not going. unless the equation is missing something. i would just like to know what is most likely to be that missing piece, and how much weight to assign to it. i realise that in all likelihood to most people this might probably come across as a blindingly obvious thing, but humor me and spell out the possibilities.

    flirting - i'm not sure if i'm flirting. i don't think he is. but then again, seriously, what do i know? i have previously assumed i might be naturally incompetent at flirting. i do have a kind of sense that i might be behaving differently around him but i would need someone watching to say whether it's flirting. for sure it feels both different from the way i normally interact with other people, yet at the same time feels much more natural (for once) - i notice it mainly because there is the absence of feeling weird or odd, which is an ever-present feeling to some extent or another, otherwise. with my dual best friend, she *likes* my weirdness. (by the way, FDG - she married an LIE and i remember that boastful phase from the courtship). even with my last significant other, i still felt eccentric, only that it was either appreciated or tolerated. even with certain friends that i get on well with talking ideas and stuff, it's more like a sense that we're odd together. he seems absolutely normal. and he makes me feel absolutely normal. i've never felt, erm, normal, before. it is unusual for me to be able to talk to someone without having to significantly adjust either or all of the following: the topics, the angle/content, the intellectual pitch, the value lens i see them from, and the formality level, to match or create a common 'space' with the other person. hence, it becomes interesting by virtue of being a novel experience. i recognise that in all likelihood this is just unusual for me, and a perfectly normal phenomenon for other people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirana View Post
    when i say "romantic" i really mean, he does not seem to show any interest in say, asking me out or anything. no idea whether that's important in the least, or highly indicative.
    Like I wrote before, he may not know at all, and continues it on a conversation level, but I can be wrong and just basing it off myself. If I was to ask out every female I had a convo with, I would shoot myself in the head.

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    ime, LSEs are often very hard to read in general (i'm not just talking about romantic "signals").

    What i've seen is that they can seem like they dont even know you exist when they actually hold you in very high regard (I've noticed this in professional interactions with the several LSEs I work(ed) with - again not romantic relationships). In contrast, they can seem friendly and buddy buddy with someone they dont like as much.

    Another observation I've made of LSEs is that they are generally poor judges of character and they have to get burned pretty bad by someone of bad character to realize that was the case (in retrospect). Vice versa, it can take a while for them to appreciate someone good, but once they do, that person can pretty much do no wrong.

    They LOVE hard working diligent people. If you have an LSE as your supervisor be prepared to work long hours; but if you do it with a great attitude you will win their hearts (professionally speaking).

    I'm sorry i couldn't be more helpful with the OP... idk how they are in romantic relationships... I've read somewhere about LSE-EII duality though that one of the reasons the dyad is so compatible is that the EII does not like overt compliments or shows of affection, and LSE is one to take someone aside and compliment them in private with a straight face and minimal show. Not that your situation isn't consistent.
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    ime, LSEs are often very hard to read in general (i'm not just talking about romantic "signals").

    What i've seen is that they can seem like they dont even know you exist when they actually hold you in very high regard (I've noticed this in professional interactions with the several LSEs I work(ed) with - again not romantic relationships). In contrast, they can seem friendly and buddy buddy with someone they dont like as much.

    Another observation I've made of LSEs is that they are generally poor judges of character and they have to get burned pretty bad by someone of bad character to realize that was the case (in retrospect). Vice versa, it can take a while for them to appreciate someone good, but once they do, that person can pretty much do no wrong.

    They LOVE hard working diligent people. If you have an LSE as your supervisor be prepared to work long hours; but if you do it with a great attitude you will win their hearts (professionally speaking).

    I'm sorry i couldn't be more helpful with the OP... idk how they are in romantic relationships... I've read somewhere about LSE-EII duality though that one of the reasons the dyad is so compatible is that the EII does not like overt compliments or shows of affection, and LSE is one to take someone aside and compliment them in private with a straight face and minimal show. Not that your situation isn't consistent.
    thanks. it's ok. i was not looking to interpret the romantic part per se, only to understand if this is conventional or aberrant behavior, mainly because i want to pin down a meaning (or lack thereof), and have a feel for the degree of uncertainty (reflected by whether few or many explanations may exist for it). i know actual 'feelings' depend on a great many person-specific and situational traits. it irritates me when i have to 'park' some anomalous observation without even a working explanation for the time being. for example, some types would indeed capriciously spend long hours talking this and that but it's just caprice and for whatever reason moves along to something else at some point. only from what i understand, LSEs are not so? i also read that LSEs won't necessarily be quickly demonstrative either even if they are interested. so yeah, i guess in a way they can be hard to read.

    may i assume from the LSE silence, that actually there are a number of plausible explanations, causing you guys to hesitate or be disinterested to offer opinions that are likely factually untenable, and therefore the uncertainty range may be inferred to be large?

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    I recommend that you issue your LSE with a number of different coloured flags each clearly labelled and understood to display their current emotional state. During conversation they should hold the flag up which best communicates the condition of their heart strings because empathy doesn't work so they are beyond the empathic feelers feely feelers because they have to ask direct questions and receive direct answers from LSEs which is apparently quite impossible.

    /thread

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    I recommend that you issue your LSE with a number of different coloured flags each clearly labelled and understood to display their current emotional state. During conversation they should hold the flag up which best communicates the condition of their heart strings because empathy doesn't work so they are beyond the empathic feelers feely feelers because they have to ask direct questions and receive direct answers from LSEs which is apparently quite impossible.

    /thread
    LOL

    Actually, it's not that hard to tell...

    1. Joking around - feels good
    2. Quiet and reserved - internally upset about something
    3. Pissed - throwing things and walking away.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    LOL

    Actually, it's not that hard to tell...

    1. Joking around - feels good
    2. Quiet and reserved - internally upset about something
    3. Pissed - throwing things and walking away.
    Correct.

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    Darn Socks DirectorAbbie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirana View Post
    Hi LSEs,

    Right, if an (opposite gender) LSE (irrational subtype, most likely) seems to be

    1. in no hurry to end conversations whenever he chats with you (and apparently preferentially so), to the extent of often running late for something else (work-related that sometimes seems that it might have repercussions to miss - some kind of extra work, at any rate), which he might mention but still with no indication of hurry or sometimes even expressing comfort to miss it (this confuses me because he then seems reluctant when i offer the logical thing of ceasing the conversation, in case he was hinting he needs to go - and we'd still oftentimes end up continuing to talk well past the time he mentioned), and

    2. if the conversations are very easy and comfortable (bear in mind that I am LII, and people who consider it comfortable to have long chats with me and even regret ending it is a phenomenon of rarity) and includes a high degree of confiding and laughter, and eye contact.


    Are these normal in the range of typical friendliness for an LSE, or is it out of the ordinary behavior, even if there is no romantic content in the conversations? I mean, it does not seem to be particularly logical behavior, whereas he is otherwise completely logical. Or does it mean interest, only that since he's delta, he will be taking an interminable length of time to work out whether it is worthwhile to pursue it? Or does it mean something entirely different? What other behaviors are important in the different contexts, if the above two is insufficient to be conclusive? The inconsistency is driving me nuts, being unable to assign an explanation to it, and wondering if I'm supposed to be doing something or not.

    Could I also ask upfront, to please refrain from disputing each other's posts so that I can get the perspectives I'm looking for before the thread turns into an argument?
    If an LSE is shirking their duties just to talk to you, you should feel special. There might be a romantic idea forming, but it's always safer to assume he just considers you a good friend.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    If an LSE is shirking their duties just to talk to you, you should feel special.
    Thanks. I could probably have been more succinct with the question, but this is essentially what I wanted to know. Whether I am being offered something that means a great deal, and so should appreciate, or at least not be dismissive of it, or it is actually normal and inconsequential. I'm making an effort to notice these things, you see. Realising (or even noticing) what signals other types send me that mean something significant to them, is not easy for me. Obviously, I cannot signal appreciation for something I've not noticed or not interpreted correctly.

    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    There might be a romantic idea forming, but it's always safer to assume he just considers you a good friend.
    yes, am certainly going to be level-headed as a general rule. And thanks for shading in the uncertainty range a bit there. This directly and indirectly tells me: possibly yes, but very preliminary; but even so, an expectation of time seems implicit.

    Yes, I realise only LIIs want information of this kind - especially without actually intending to use it for any envisaged action. And thanks denizens of the Delta forum for (relatively) humouring me. You guys can ignore this thread now if you want.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirana View Post

    Yes, I realise only LIIs want information of this kind - especially without actually intending to use it for any envisaged action. And thanks denizens of the Delta forum for (relatively) humouring me. You guys can ignore this thread now if you want.
    Not at all... tons of us wonder about how to interpret possible signals all the time, and especially in the case of LSEs who can be quite difficult to read, i think it was a very valid question. And i dont WANT to ignore this thread, I love this topic! I LSEs!
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Oh.

    In that case, cool...

    Ahem.

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    MisterNi a scientist, lul.

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    I've never gotten it when people talk about LSEs being obsessive about doing stuff and working. None of the LSEs I hang out with are like that, and I know quite a few. Sure, the people I hang out with tend to be counter-culture, but you'd think this work thing would manifest in some other way if it really were so essential. Maybe I don't know where to look, but it doesn't feel likely.. The LSEs I know sure are practical, but not even close to the rigid and neurotic, impossible-to-relax-type of people the descriptions and some posts here seem to be picturing.
    Last edited by willekeurig; 09-16-2013 at 12:43 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    Axis of Evil: Iran, Iraq, North Korea and Agarina
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan
    Agarina does not like human beings; she just wants a pretty boy toy.
    Johari Nohari

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    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    The LSEs I know sure are practical, but not even close to the rigid and neurotic, impossible-to-relax-type of people the descriptions and some posts here seem to be picturing.
    Takes an EII to juice the juice. Cool.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    Takes an EII to juice the juice. Cool.
    yeah exactly, @Agarina, i was going to say, it's all in the perspective... to an irrational type, LSEs may seem much more intense than say to another rational. Also, like Absurd mentions, the effect of duality might make the LSE relax a bit when in the presence of an EII.

    Another possibility might be that you're mistyping the "LSEs" in your life.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    The LSEs I know sure are practical, but not even close to the rigid and neurotic, impossible-to-relax-type of people the descriptions and some posts here seem to be picturing.
    Aside from the LSE about whom I made this post, I actually already have an LSE friend - female. She's certainly kind of rigid, serious, and much prefers a predictable schedule (meaning to say, she doesn't like it if it becomes changed, once it was set), and dislikes being interrupted while doing something she already started. But - this is at work (or studying, when I first knew her).

    She also frets about timelines, seemingly being poor at organising multiple streams of activity and delegating effectively to autonomous teams, for example, her pre-wedding planning, but at the same time agrees to kind of stressful turnaround times quite unnecessarily.

    However, when she is not at work - and she will be highly likely to take her lunch hour, leave work in reasonable time, not work weekends - she devotes to spending time with her family, going out with friends, and is perfectly relaxed just conversing or whatever. This may explain the difference. Working time is not for relaxing. But basically time that she has considered to be not-work times, will remain not-work times. And it does not seem to matter whether the work that day was exceptionally interesting; I think she could still leave it. Whereas I - I might forget I have a human body that needs fed and rested.

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    As an alternative idea, try teaching your LSE to state their emotions before every sentence thusly:

    'Belligerently: I do not think your approach is satisfactory.'
    'Angrily: Do not steal rubbish from my bins.'
    'Seductively: Kiss me, go make dinner and then wash the dishes.'

    Who couldn't love that?

  33. #33
    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
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    Not really related to the op, but I wanted to add that in the case of LII/LSE friendships, one tangent you can always count on between the two of you in creative Si from him, and Creative Ne from you. This is one way in which these two can really click and relate about with each other cause I know that LII do, despite how they express it, appreaciate creative Si. And vice versa LSE's appreciate Ne type opportunities and new horizens. The creative function is how I really got along with an ESE I once knew and I can imagine it might be the same with an LII and LSE. Your LSE coworker I can bet you would like this Ne side of you so don't be afraid of looking for data and facts and opportunities outside the box because LSE's just seem to do what works forever untill new suggestions come in. Be prepared to support your ideas (not hard for a LII I am sure).

    What kind of work do you do anyway? It sounds intense and/or interesting.
    Last edited by wacey; 09-16-2013 at 09:49 PM.

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    We work in environmental consulting, basically in contaminated land - he consults for our mutual client, i am the client's in-house technical strategist for the more... sensitive sites. Anyway, stuff he appreciates - strategic big picture, reframing, use of original analogy. Yes, I have no trouble backing up for when I'm suggesting stuff like that. It's great to have someone who actually realises and appreciates what I provide as a consciously produced thing - most people take it for granted like this stuff just magically seeps out of me or something.

    Although sometimes he asks general topic questions but I feel I misread the purpose of the question. For a logical type, he can be rather indirect. What should I do if he follows through with playing down some ability of his - for example, not being able to pick up faster a language that we need for the work and that he is surrounded by, but that I'm mostly-fluent in? With my dual (and as between female friends), usually I would offer perspective and assurances. I have a latent feeling that this is not satisfactory. Is he looking for solutions? Should I actually ask him questions back i.e. invitation to expand on it? It sure sounded like a direct question, typically; it's just that afterwards I get the feeling that it wasn't. If that makes sense.

    For work, though, I actually appreciate his dominant Te. Coz I can't be bothered to keep in working memory, what size piping we have connected to which treatment system, and whether we should just change the compressor. On the other hand I do have to pry him off of work when there's not nearly the time available for what he would consider to be 'worthy' work, and that less but delivered would be better than perfect but too late. So many many things go on at the same time for a project like this, each paced differently; it isn't kind on his weak Ni. He seems to be the most late, when he's personally producing work for me to look at, rather than just reviewing/fixing work from his team, for me to look at. Fortunately, I would usually have a plan B if not C, and would, er, usually have designed in means to compensate for this trait of his for when it would really matter.

    Also, I envy his "unconfrontationalness" - he just seems unfazed. It's like a kind of inexplicably non-boring dullness, unremarkable until you think about it and realise how remarkable it is at coping with pressures without getting people all tense, or getting oneself worked up. It just calms me right down, which is great, because in this work you regularly have to deal with people trying to pass off things that don't make sense, as making sense, and that typically lights me up like tinder. It's perplexing how one can be 'dull' such that the dullness isn't dull, but rather intensely fascinating. You can imagine this conundrum can easily occupy me for hours. On the other hand, when he is late, getting upset accomplishes nothing. He does not get defensive or belligerent. And since there's no point in it, and he never disputes the facts nor the logic of why it shouldn't have happened, I can't get mad at him. And that's kind of annoying, if there were a point to feeling annoyed.

    BTW, in what way would creative Si manifest outside of a personal life context? What are examples of creative Si, in a work context? I don't think I ever really think about it that way. I mean, I know in what form I appreciate it from my dual but we have a best-friendship - a different context and where I would actually be able to see and benefit from her Si.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirana View Post
    We work in environmental consulting, basically in contaminated land - he consults for our mutual client, i am the client's in-house technical strategist for the more... sensitive sites. Anyway, stuff he appreciates - strategic big picture, reframing, use of original analogy. Yes, I have no trouble backing up for when I'm suggesting stuff like that. It's great to have someone who actually realises and appreciates what I provide as a consciously produced thing - most people take it for granted like this stuff just magically seeps out of me or something.

    Although sometimes he asks general topic questions but I feel I misread the purpose of the question. For a logical type, he can be rather indirect. What should I do if he follows through with playing down some ability of his - for example, not being able to pick up faster a language that we need for the work and that he is surrounded by, but that I'm mostly-fluent in? With my dual (and as between female friends), usually I would offer perspective and assurances. I have a latent feeling that this is not satisfactory. Is he looking for solutions? Should I actually ask him questions back i.e. invitation to expand on it? It sure sounded like a direct question, typically; it's just that afterwards I get the feeling that it wasn't. If that makes sense.

    For work, though, I actually appreciate his dominant Te. Coz I can't be bothered to keep in working memory, what size piping we have connected to which treatment system, and whether we should just change the compressor. On the other hand I do have to pry him off of work when there's not nearly the time available for what he would consider to be 'worthy' work, and that less but delivered would be better than perfect but too late. So many many things go on at the same time for a project like this, each paced differently; it isn't kind on his weak Ni. He seems to be the most late, when he's personally producing work for me to look at, rather than just reviewing/fixing work from his team, for me to look at. Fortunately, I would usually have a plan B if not C, and would, er, usually have designed in means to compensate for this trait of his for when it would really matter.

    Also, I envy his "unconfrontationalness" - he just seems unfazed. It's like a kind of inexplicably non-boring dullness, unremarkable until you think about it and realise how remarkable it is at coping with pressures without getting people all tense, or getting oneself worked up. It just calms me right down, which is great, because in this work you regularly have to deal with people trying to pass off things that don't make sense, as making sense, and that typically lights me up like tinder. It's perplexing how one can be 'dull' such that the dullness isn't dull, but rather intensely fascinating. You can imagine this conundrum can easily occupy me for hours. On the other hand, when he is late, getting upset accomplishes nothing. He does not get defensive or belligerent. And since there's no point in it, and he never disputes the facts nor the logic of why it shouldn't have happened, I can't get mad at him. And that's kind of annoying, if there were a point to feeling annoyed.

    BTW, in what way would creative Si manifest outside of a personal life context? What are examples of creative Si, in a work context? I don't think I ever really think about it that way. I mean, I know in what form I appreciate it from my dual but we have a best-friendship - a different context and where I would actually be able to see and benefit from her Si.

    IEE Ne Creative Type

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    Well, tenseness in my case may be due to hurried life, which I don't particularly find welcoming when 24/7 especially when dealing with sharp as a sack full of wet mice people, so interpersonal relationships when it comes to certain people may sky rocket and shoot down some plane above. But hey, there isn't a drink that won't solve it and company of few friends. And about that "as compared to their own type", well, that may be the case and my confusion when it came to your vocabulary there.

    As for skepticism part, you may have a point there. I usually know when things may go not the way one put in their head, for there is a myriad things that negate it.

    Can you pinpoint what exactly is she skeptical of when it comes to the interaction between you and her? And are you sure she is LSE (crap question, I know)?

    Do you speak English on a regular basis?

    Oh and I'm not really unyielding, I mean, if some person would hint on doing something, I would say why not...

    That doesn't entail paedophilia, rape and mass murder and so on - in that case I am unyielding. So I am missing the context here completely.

    In other words, what Agarina scribbled, I find pretty real.
    Last edited by Absurd; 09-18-2013 at 04:40 PM.

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    No, not about doing things. More about thinking stuff. Say for example, the discussion gets into a topic where a far-out or non-conventional point of view is introduced. i would likely already have encountered it or would be curious about the new 'data', my dual would react with astonishment and curious appreciation of the novelty, but our LSE friend would be indifferent or skeptical to the value of this view IF she already holds one that she considers to be the correct mainstream view. She would not oppose it necessarily, nor shoot it down, but her default is a kind of neutral disinterest or sometimes, mild disapproval, depending on what it is. She won't worry about it, or get agitated. But if she can't really figure out its relevance to something she needs or does, then most likely she won't be interested. If it is counter to prevailing M.O. that she has adopted, then she is likely also not supportive unless her mind is changed (which she might be open to but does not seek). By comparison, I would know precisely why I have my own view, and my default is (unless I'm tired) probably to seek for the new view to be explained so that I can subject both views to scrutiny - even if there is no direct relevance to anything in particular. So, in that sense. Not unyielding in the stubborn sense of say, my SLE brother.

    But in terms of going to new places, being invited to do things, she's pretty open to that. Yeah, I'm pretty sure she's LSE.

    Yes, but I am bilingual. And I use English across international boundaries for work - so I regularly have to reconcile English-as-used-by diverse nations of non-native speakers, as well as different nations of native speakers, as well as nominally native speakers (or so my English boss considers the Australians ). It does affect how I think in English.

    However, I can see why you might not have typed yourself LSE at first. You're grouchy enough to be SLI.

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