Toxic home environment - what kind of relations do we have??

[betterthan]

I'm just gonna jump in and pull shit from my ass here without an introduction since i planned to use this account to ask a question about another topic that never happened.

But since you're IEI - and i'm SLE - i've noticed that both types sometimes originates from the same kind of dynamics in the family, where some parent fails to live up to the subconscious expectations someone has as a child of what their parents are supposed to deliver; and basically IEI becomes IEI by handling the situation by submitting to the people around him/her: putting them infront of themselves - and SLE becomes SLE by revolting against the parent/parents: and therefore being the same since they adapted to the same kind of conditions(of sorts, atleast on some symbolic subconscious level) but simply took different paths that gives them different information priorities but 'see the same world'.

One develops observational skills on the enviroment - the other just 'zones out' creating an internal world that later becomes what this community calls or . This being something that happens early in life that makes SLE awkward as fuck when getting close to people and (can make) IEIs depressed/suicidal/substance abusers since they gave up and accepted they were defeated were early on that makes them adapt to others as a way of dealing with them instead of confronting them or escapism a basic trait (which is self defeating and therefore murders their ego; which leads to subconscious self-hatred in some cases).

Where this sort of conditions are actually a part of the equation of the compost heap that is mankind - it's just people being shit being a part of the whole organism that is people.

Based on that - which may or may not be related to your situation - i suggest you instead of MBTI/Socionics etcetera - look into info about 'narcissistic parents' and behavior seen in parents with personality disorders where they are emotionally stuck in stages you normally see 5-year olds in - if your mom is co-dependant for example she could have a seriously weak undeveloped personality that gives different results on MBTI-tests because she lacks a 'core' personality since she never developed one; and therefore would be drawn to your dad if he's a bit insane since she then replicates some relationship she had as a kid with someone of her parents. Or the other way around if your dad is the bitch in the relationship - http://www.lightshouse.org/ is a pretty good site.

And i could just be projecting traits on you unrelated to your situation; but from my experience it's usually those variables that creates IEI/SLE in different magnitudes.

Oh yea - and don't be a fucking martyr sticking around to that shit - that would just be self-destructive like mentioned above.

lol lol. good post! hmm i'm guessing conflict relations or as above...just generally unhealthy relations. my sister is an eie, dad an sli, mum an lse - my family life is hell - and i can't say my sister is any better than the rest. all i can advise is get the fuck out and be happy elsewhere, that's what works for me, i see my fam about 2 - 3 times a year, and it's fine in small doses. if you feel as though your opinion is never taken on board (and it's a damn good one or right on the mark) then i'd definitely say that's conflicting quadras; most likely conflict; do you feel continual angst, irritation, anger, feeling unappreciated? or a feeling of worthlessness and depression if you have lower self esteem? these have both marked my relationship with my mum who is my conflictor, an lse. ...i guess the worst element is the realization that their rejection of you is permanent no matter what you do. Acceptance, space and not taking their anger etc as meaning their is something wrong with you has helped me a lot .

oh and to refute this srg, i have always got mad, fought back, rebelled and will always, always call people out on their shit, my sle friend often calls me 'joan of arc' so fuck the fluffy iei stereotype! trying to heal cruelty, unfairness and disrespect with kindness and softness is banging your head against a brick wall and only a mark of low self esteem, not an inborn iei trait - but whatever your coping methods, toxic family relationships, and opposing quadra relations are incredibly challenging and painful