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Thread: When EIIs get mad (possible IEI)

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    Default When EIIs get mad (possible IEI)

    My friends and I was playing tennis. I really suck because I haven't played since last summer and even then, I didn't know what I was doing because that was the first time ever I started. I remember being pissed off because no one thought I was trying but I was, my face is just passive and I don't launch till I know where it's going, slow reaction...anyway, a friend was criticing me like, well, if you're just going to stand there and not do anything, I totally yelled at her not obnoxiously but just like straight-forward like I'm rusty, I told you and she totally shut up and there was a long momeny of silence from my other friends. Then while we were deciding where to go for dinner, I said that I didn't want to go to Place A because I hate that place and Friend B said oh, you do which means she heard me and a few minutes of discussion, Friend B turns to Friend C and talk about going to Place A, so then I got really grumpy like wtf, didn't you hear me? and Friend A who's my best friend noticed and asked me what was wrong and I said loudly that I told everyone I didn't want to go to Place A and then I was really obnoxious and I didn't care which is a first, I was all like, hellooo, didn't they hear me, wtf...really shocked everyone and made things uncomfortable but geez, I like to be heard, and this morning I was more outspoken too, I must be in a cranky mood and I snapped at Friend A for doing something stupid with a broken wrist and Friend B was nasty toward me which is first too so I sorta feel bad that now they don't think I'm all nice and mellow anymore, just a bit.
    INFP

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    oyburger's Avatar
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    Just sounds like you're having a bad day.

    Because I'm quiet and reserved and show no emotion, when I do lash out it tends to freak out everyone around me. Of course their reactions just make me madder which confuses everyone even more. So I've been there too, I wonder it its an INXj thing or an IN thing...
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    hmmmm that post sounded more infp than infj.

    it does sound like a bad day. when i have days like that i take a hot relaxing bath and light candles?!
    Entp
    ILE

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    Quote Originally Posted by oyburger
    Just sounds like you're having a bad day.

    Because I'm quiet and reserved and show no emotion, when I do lash out it tends to freak out everyone around me. Of course their reactions just make me madder which confuses everyone even more. So I've been there too, I wonder it its an INXj thing or an IN thing...
    It's an IxxJ thing, since IxxJs are the last to freak out...
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    hmmmm that post sounded more infp than infj.

    it does sound like a bad day. when i have days like that i take a hot relaxing bath and light candles?!
    Taking a walk is good too, it releases endorphins and you'll have a more restfull sleep and you'll be too tired to be mad anymore.
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Quote Originally Posted by oyburger
    Just sounds like you're having a bad day.

    Because I'm quiet and reserved and show no emotion, when I do lash out it tends to freak out everyone around me. Of course their reactions just make me madder which confuses everyone even more. So I've been there too, I wonder it its an INXj thing or an IN thing...
    It's an IxxJ thing, since IxxJs are the last to freak out...
    Well that seems to make sense (thinking about the other IxxJs I've met)
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    Quote Originally Posted by oyburger
    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    hmmmm that post sounded more infp than infj.

    it does sound like a bad day. when i have days like that i take a hot relaxing bath and light candles?!
    Taking a walk is good too, it releases endorphins and you'll have a more restfull sleep and you'll be too tired to be mad anymore.
    Or Dance Dance Revolution. ^_^
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Or Dance Dance Revolution. ^_^
    Actually that could work too, if you did it long enough.
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    Then while we were deciding where to go for dinner, I said that I didn't want to go to Place A because I hate that place and Friend B said oh, you do which means she heard me and a few minutes of discussion, Friend B turns to Friend C and talk about going to Place A, so then I got really grumpy like wtf, didn't you hear me?
    I often find myself in situations where it seems as though no one is really listening to me, like I'm just some random voice in the background. Other people seem capable of airing their opinions in a fashion which leads others to listen, but I definately lack that talent. This weakness of mine really backfired on me in a certain class where the professor obviously seemed to have this attitude that if you're going to be respected in class you better brag about yourself and many of the students did just that. It was a counseling practicum class and going to the class discussions after the counseling sessions just made me want to puke the entire semester. I remember writing in my journal for instance that, even though it's ultimately the client who must decide whether a session is good or bad, for the sake of the class I should just brag about myself like I can do no wrong and she simply wrote "yes" in the margin. I couldn't believe it. Well, to make a long story short, near the end of the semester I unleashed all of my pent-up resentment at the professor judging my performance badly because I seemed unwilling to stand up for myself in the class. She made note of it on the final eval form. I hate her.

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    When INFj's get mad, somewhere a fairy dies
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin

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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    When INFj's get mad, somewhere a fairy dies
    I've killed ever so many fairies then.

    And you wanna know what's really pathetic? I actually felt a genuine pang of sadness at the thought of what my actions have caused.

    I get angry a lot. But I know that this is not my natural state of things. This is solely because I am back living at home with my parents, and my mother drives me to the point of raging anger nearly every day. She makes me feel like no one else does. Not only is there the typical mother/daughter conflict situation, there is the fact that I am sure the supervisor/supervisee relationship is playing out between us. This makes it doubly more difficult to deal with her. I have to get out of here as soon as possible.

    With everyone else, including other family members, I just don't get mad. I may get annoyed with bad customer service or bad people, but overall, I just roll with whatever's going on. However, dreamer I have definitely experienced what you went through.
    EII
    4w5, sp/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Danielle
    I actually felt a genuine pang of sadness at the thought of what my actions have caused.
    what has it caused?

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    Creepy-pokeball

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    Quote Originally Posted by oyburger
    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    hmmmm that post sounded more infp than infj.

    it does sound like a bad day. when i have days like that i take a hot relaxing bath and light candles?!
    Taking a walk is good too, it releases endorphins and you'll have a more restfull sleep and you'll be too tired to be mad anymore.
    Thats what I do. If as day is among the worst, I'll just take benedryl and TKO early for the night.

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    benedryl just makes me madder. I fight against it like a kid. Tylenol PM will put you right out and its vanilla flavored too.
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    Quote Originally Posted by oyburger
    benedryl just makes me madder. I fight against it like a kid. Tylenol PM will put you right out and its vanilla flavored too.
    Benedryl and Tylenol PM both make me really really hyper and restless

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedro-the-Lion
    Quote Originally Posted by Danielle
    I actually felt a genuine pang of sadness at the thought of what my actions have caused.
    what has it caused?
    the deaths of fairies
    EII
    4w5, sp/sx

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    no really. i am curious. sate me.

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    Creepy-aurora_faerie

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    when infj's get mad its annoying

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedro-the-Lion
    no really. i am curious. sate me.
    The Deaths Of Fairies.
    EII
    4w5, sp/sx

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    I like to think that when we get mad, people listen a bit harder and feels a bit 'worst' than if it's someone who's like constantly mad about something. When I get mad at my friends, they get so hurt like omg, you just stabbed me, even though I AM the one mad, and I'm like, am I not allowed to get mad or what.
    INFP

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    It's rare for me to get really mad and erupt on my friends. So when I do express anger, it's for a really good reason (in my head, at least). And it's usually not expected, so people are taken aback.

    The last time I got publicly angry was at work with an ESTp. He was horsing around with a coworker, and subsequently shoved me into the corner of a desk. It hurt really bad and I told him what happened. He seemed to not care, and I tried not to just forget about it. The next day, I saw that I had a huge bruise that was black and purple. It made me so angry! I came into work and basically tore him a new a**hole by sitting down with him and giving him a "talkin' to". He stayed away from me for weeks, LOL.

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    @pixie murderer: don't worry they'll get over it. hurt them so they can grow.

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    INFj's have probably the most wicket temper I've ever seen which consistently shocks me considering what wonderful people they are.

    They are the only type I would actually take that behavior from I think. Anyone else would get a boot in the ass and called a high maintenance immature little snot....right before I cut them out of my life.

    The INFj temper can drive people close to them away though. The ones that get to see an INFj when they are ticked off on a regular basis. If they fall into a deep depression, life with an INFj can become hell.

    My best friend for 10 years is an INFj. We tried to date but I had to leave him after 2 years because his temper was too bad. When he was upset, the world revolved around him.

    It put an unfair amount of pressure on me to always have to supress my wants and needs because there was drama in his life at that time and his needs became paramount. I still love him to pieces but I just can't tolerate that side of him that becomes very self-centred especially when a crisis is going on.

    An INFj can beat the hell out of your feelings if they are feeling bad about themselves. But lets call it what it is,...its abusive.

    After dating an INFj for 2 years I can't say I'd put up with the behavior whatsoever anymore. Now, when they act like a complete a$$hole they get called one. If they are being high maintance brats, I'll point it out as I walk out the door and leave them alone to stew about how their aggression impacts me.

    ....and yes, I'm still best friends with my INFj ex. Despite his temper, he is such a wonderful person that I think this one is a friend for life.
    Polly
    ENTp

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    so I would guess that an INFJ being my dual it would be easier for me to take the temper that goes along with it, and hoping that they could take mine...lol?
    I tend to get over things quickly and not let my life get upset about the small things. for example, i'm one of those people that someone can hate and be pissed off at one day and the next i'll be over it and hope the other person is too, I can just start talking to the person like nothing ever happened or that we were about to fight the day before. I don't hold grudges like many other people and for the most part i'll just always remember what it was that made a person sooo mad.

    When INFj's get mad, somewhere a fairy dies
    hahaha, i giggled at this.

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    When I get mad my ESTj friends have typically stepped back and waited it out. It's a bit weird to see them so cold about it, but I think that's the best thing to do. Then they say something dry like "Sometimes you have to get over your grudges." And I start hating them instead. j/k Actually, a few times my rants have ended with them saying it's okay to get upset over it, but they are always strangely calm.
    INFj

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    When my INFj sister gets upset, she doesn't blow up. I don't know if I've ever heard her scream or yell.

    She does get angry though. She is good at giving people the silent treatment. It's easy to tell when she's angry even though she doesn't yell. She'll ignore you even when you talk to her.

    Oh wait I have heard her kind of yell at our ENFj dad. She doesn't raise her voice too much but she gets this teacher tone of voice and tells him in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS what he did wrong and that he will never do it again.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    Ha, like a teacher. I just wanted to add that I've noticed that the level of aggression I use is very much depending on the people around me, so I would think people experience us differently. Not that I'm not responsible for my actions or anything, but that's how it is. I think it's an PoLR thing.
    INFj

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    Creepy-Diana

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    .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana
    My sister said to me sometime last year, "We've decided to call you crouching dragon hidden tiger." When I asked her why she said, "Because you have strength like a dragon, to take on all that you have, and to do it so calmly. But when you get mad, you attack like a tiger, and they never know what hit them." I took it as a compliment.
    hahaha, nice!

    i'm a total opposite...people look at me and think i'm pissed at them...lol, call me crouching tiger hidden teddy bear.

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    Creepy-Diana

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    .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    When my INFj sister gets upset, she doesn't blow up. I don't know if I've ever heard her scream or yell.

    She does get angry though. She is good at giving people the silent treatment. It's easy to tell when she's angry even though she doesn't yell. She'll ignore you even when you talk to her.

    Oh wait I have heard her kind of yell at our ENFj dad. She doesn't raise her voice too much but she gets this teacher tone of voice and tells him in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS what he did wrong and that he will never do it again.

    That's how a few INFjs I know are.
    Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
    If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.

    ~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
    ~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.

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    The INFj I knew didn't yell much either...he busted a lot of things though. He mostly only ever did it in private. He would try to hide the destruction when he did it though but there was usually some evidence left behind he'd forget that I'd put two and two together.

    It usually revolved around inanimate objects not cooperating with him.
    Polly
    ENTp

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    ouch! that musta been bad. From what I know of INFjs they place their friends on some pretty high pedestals.
    Polly
    ENTp

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    Yeah... girls can be vicious
    Unfortunately true

    I find it hard to think of someone hating an INFj. I've put up with a lot from my friend/ex-boyfriend. He is just such a special and layered individual though, I can't quite ever cut him totally out of my life even when he gets in one of his moods and starts being overly critical of me.

    I'm attracted to INFjs definately. But I find that our romance was just too intense. As my partner, I couldn't get the mental and emotional space I needed because his feelings dominated the relationship.

    We definately have a love/hate thing going on.
    Polly
    ENTp

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    who is that in your avatar, Starfall?
    Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
    If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.

    ~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
    ~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.

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