Captain Obvious is a superhero — one of the people who fight bad guys, supervillains, and assorted evil-doers. The prefix "Captain", however, is purely symbolic. Although the "Obvious" part of Captain Obvious's name is certainly true, Captain Obvious does not hold the rank of Captain in the Army, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard, Marines, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration Commissioned Corps, the United States Public Health Service Commissioned Corps, the Salvation Army or any Police or Fire Department. Nor is he licensed to fly commercial or cargo aircraft or pilot fishing boats or cargo vessels, meaning that in a situation where he would have to pilot one of these vehicles and is asked by a duly authorized official to prove that he had the legal right to do so, he would not be able to.
“People all over the world will have to purchase a new calendar within the next twelve months.”
~ Captain Obvious on the future
“Within two to three years the price of stamps will increase by an amount.”
~ Captain Obvious on the future
“Someone will die today.”
~ Captain Obvious on the future
“Someone will be born today.”
~ Captain Obvious on the future
“You will eat food within the next thirty days.”
~ Captain Obvious on the future
“Tomorrow will be another day.”
~ Captain Obvious on the future
“The future is coming.”
~ Captain Obvious on the future
“Someone will breathe today.”
~ Captain Obvious on the future
“Within two... no, three..., no wait, ay years, there will be a year that is divisible by two.”
~ Captain Obvious on the future
“Indeed, current events may become past events, but always remember that there will, now and always, be future events in the future.”
~ Captain Obvious on the future
“In two years time, it will be two years in the future.”
~ Captain Obvious on the future
“I'm not a doctor, but if you don't have your heart put back in your chest, you may die soon.”
~ Captain Obvious on Lack of Medical Training, also the future
“At the sound of the tone, it will be the time it is supposed to be. As in not now, but the future”
~ Captain Obvious on the future
“In one year it will be the present ”
~ Captain Obvious on the future
“Next millennium, you'll be dead.”
~ Captain Obvious on the future
“You can't touch MC Hammer.”
~ Captain Obvious on MC Hammer
“Computers don't work after they break.”
~ Captain Obvious on Computers
Obvious Ni polr, so ESE or LSE?



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