Best Friends

[SLeo123083]

What type is your BEST FRIEND FOREVER? Somebody you love so much they feel like your soulmate? Would that be your Dual? Or could it be any type?

Something seems a bit fishy about the intertype relationships and I'm trying to put my finger on it.

[Joy]

activity comes to mind

[Rocky]

Kindred

[cracka]

I've moved around too much in life to have anything that I'd really call a best friend. for the long amount of time we were together my ex is probably the closest thing I've ever had to one.

[Joy]

best friends sorta find me. there have been several explosive endings. I don't allow others to cling to me anymore though.

[FDG]

SEE guy and IEE girl

[SLeo123083]

That's not fair, especially if their opinion about the relationship closeness differs from yours.

I don't agree at all. It's probably my heavy speaking though.

Sorry. =/

But, I agree with you that it isn't fair IF both people don't agree on being best friends. I don't think you can be best friends without the mutual attraction of 'best friendliness.' I know I won't consider somebody my best friend if they won't consider me their best friend too, and even before we do this there has to be some sort of real connection that words can't express.

I don't use the term best friend loosely, but I do have favorites definitely and I understand very intricately how those favorites differ from everybody else. Your version of friends is much more -ish than mine but hey, it's interesting.

[oyburger]

One of my “BEST FRIENDS FOREVER” is ESFj... my Supervisee.

I was quite surprised when I learned this.

My best friend is my supervisor

[Slacker]

My best friends are my husband and my sister, and they're my dual and mirror.

My best non-related friend is I think another ENFp. Very likely. I'll have to post a description of her at some point to see how likely it is that I'm right.

[FDG]

But, I agree with you that it isn't fair IF both people don't agree on being best friends. I don't think you can be best friends without the mutual attraction of 'best friendliness.' I know I won't consider somebody my best friend if they won't consider me their best friend too, and even before we do this there has to be some sort of real connection that words can't express.

What a copious amount of bullshit, something a type with strong would NEVER EVER state.

[dreamer]

any type I think as long as it's not conflict or...anything else bad
my best friend is ESFJ and I think we can last for a long time as she always takes good care of me, like make sure I'm okay and included and stuff, she understands me like no one else does but that's probably because we spend a lot of time together and we don't get sick of each other that often, we do have problems between S and N sometimes and her FJ drives me crazy sometimes and right, he E is annoying too, her need to socialize, but otherwise we're great together.

Illusionary

Doesn't really sound like us but we are at the same place right now so understanding each other is easy. She always needs reassuring so I reassure and when I want to talk about something, she reassures me but mostly I'm reassuring her. She's def. ESFJ though.

[SLeo123083]

What a copious amount of bullshit, something a type with strong Introverted Feeling would NEVER EVER state.

You're wrong. is heavy into relationship ethics and our confidence to describe relationship of things/people in adjective qualities such as good, bad, etc. It's the inherent wisdom of where we stand in relation to something else. It just won't seem as forceful as , we just 'know it.' And you're right, the typical INFj might not say these things, but we strongly believe it. I'm merely trying to give a voice to our introspective.

You are limited in your view severely, because you're only judging us on the surface. Dig a little deeper. =)

And this is why is ESTpers PoLR because they don't understand the inherent complexity of these relationships and thinks we're somehow all 'equals' in a sense, although they're just kinda oblivious to it without meaning to be. This is why they seem tactless to others, because they'll treat others the same without regards to where the relationship actually stands.

An ESTp will frequently do something very offensive and the next minute act very buddy buddy-ish. If they're supported for their "weakness" they'll be a lot better but that's where their duals come in.

"When somebody shows you who they are, believe them." - Maya Angelou.

[FDG]

Yeah, definitely, your look-a-like shares your same PoLR, but as a dominant function, therefore he/she won't understand the underlying essence of phenomena, but mostly its external qualities.

That's what you're actually describing: ENTp-ESTp, not INFj-ESTp.

[SLeo123083]

Maybe, but I'm talking about the specific relationship of things... specifically. <g>

I'm pretty horrible at the 'underlying essence' of a lot of other things. This is a miscommunication at times since I seem intelligent and intuitive to others so they act like I just know things and might ask me a question expecting that I'll automatically know.

Eh yeah, I do have strong I guess. =p But I'll need much more proof before I claim it as my dominant function. I've always viewed it as my role function.

[Expat]

And this is why is ESTpers PoLR because they don't understand the inherent complexity of these relationships and thinks we're somehow all 'equals' in a sense, although they're just kinda oblivious to it without meaning to be. This is why they seem tactless to others, because they'll treat others the same without regards to where the relationship actually stands.

This is actually well put, but it only applies to people for whom considerations of hierarchy and power play no role. In purely social interactions, I agree.

An ESTp will frequently do something very offensive and the next minute act very buddy buddy-ish. If they're supported for their "weakness" they'll be a lot better but that's where their duals come in.

Not quite. This is a point where gets confused with . The ESTp's hidden agenda, "to be loved", means actually "to receive external expressions of admiration and love from others". To the extent that ESTps would be helped by the INFp, it would be with regard to in the sense of behaving "properly" according to the people and occasion, which is not . Which is what you referred to with regard to being tactless etc.

An INFp does not care much about which is precisely why they are the ESTp's duals. The INFp will understand the relations of the people around him/her and the ESTp and help smoothen things out in the atmosphere around them but not bother the ESTp too much with the thorny background.

On the main topic, I would say that my longer-term friends have been semi-dual and dual mostly.

[SLeo123083]

To the extent that ESTps would be helped by the INFp, it would be with regard to Extraverted Feeling in the sense of behaving "properly" according to the people and occasion, which is Extraverted Feeling not Introverted Feeling . Which is what you referred to with regard to being tactless etc.

That's what I meant more or less.

Although, just out of curiousity do most ESTps not use the term 'best friend' like Herzy? I've never really heard an ESTp talk about their relationships in a very er 'meanginful' way since they're so busy with I think it might really distract them from where they exactly stand when it comes to . But yeah, I still don't really "get" why they do that even though I'm learning how to explain it well. It's just totally different from how I think.

[stefana]

[Gilly]

My best friends are IEI (possibly SEI) and LII.

[MysticSonic]

My best friend is an SEI.

[aestrivex]

i know somebody who i think is an INFp and another whose type i'm unsure of, but probably an irrational logical type.