How to get along with your semi-dual?

[Vixemi]

Hi everyone To start off, I'm a SEE-Se and into what I think is an INFp-Ni guy.

We're attracted to each other but while the mutual feeling is there, we don't really get along. When we're together it's a bit quiet, with me asking him questions and trying to start some kind of conversation but he barely cooperates. It feels like I wanna get closer to him but I can't find a way to and I can't stand how stagnant things are, so I get frustrated and pick a fight/start drama about something to get some kind of emotional reaction out of him, while he sometimes does the same but with different actions.

After we argument, we feel drawn to each other again and make up pretty quickly, but at this point, it just happens too much and I'm afraid to lose him. So my question is, is there any good way to develop these relations? Feel free to correct me or ask me questions if it doesn't sound like a semi-dual relationship, I'm only like 70% sure of his type haha.

[lookin4waifu]

Get naked

Stop talking

[VewyScawwyNawcissist]

@FreelancePoliceman
care to butt in?

[Adam Strange]

Hi everyone To start off, I'm a SEE-Se and into what I think is an INFp-Ni guy.

We're attracted to each other but while the mutual feeling is there, we don't really get along. When we're together it's a bit quiet, with me asking him questions and trying to start some kind of conversation but he barely cooperates. It feels like I wanna get closer to him but I can't find a way to and I can't stand how stagnant things are, so I get frustrated and pick a fight/start drama about something to get some kind of emotional reaction out of him, while he sometimes does the same but with different actions.

After we argument, we feel drawn to each other again and make up pretty quickly, but at this point, it just happens too much and I'm afraid to lose him. So my question is, is there any good way to develop these relations? Feel free to correct me or ask me questions if it doesn't sound like a semi-dual relationship, I'm only like 70% sure of his type haha.

If you want to develop relations with someone, I'd recommend that you be kind and considerate towards them. If you find yourself holding them in contempt, that is the end and you should remove yourself from their life with as little drama as possible, because the fault may not be entirely theirs.

Personally, I believe it is possible to get along with almost anyone, if you are willing to compromise yourself enough. If, at some point, you find yourself compromising more than you can stand, then it's time to ask yourself some hard questions about who and what it is that you want. After you answer, you can look for someone else.

I should add that I don't think it is necessary to compromise yourself in every relationship. In some relationships, you actually get more than you give. In the best relationships, you both get more than you give.

In other words, when it comes to the value which we obtain, and its cost to us, in the best relationships, Thomas Paine was just wrong.

[WVBRY]

Maybe you should ask yourself why you fear losing him.

[lookin4waifu]

Maybe you should ask yourself why you’re even starting a thread before paying Gulenko to give you guys the correct typings of EIE and LSI

[FreelancePoliceman]

@FreelancePoliceman
care to butt in?

The last EIE I interacted much with hated my guts, so I'm not really in a position to be offering advice.

For IEI guys in general though, you might try this:

[VewyScawwyNawcissist]

@FreelancePoliceman
horse scenes have always been awkward, its like the directors are specifically trying to get through u that theres horses by inserting amplified horse sounds in awkward interwvas but im a bit confused as to why that should impress me
also thats harassment, jjust bc i like someone doesnt mean they like me back. it would be nice if ppl could be straightfoward to simply talk but consequences and eww that would be awkward the friendship/potential friendship is ruined if ur not aware enough to construct a personaltiy way of perception and carying urself to make it whatever the opposite of what i said is

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

well... despite my flamboyant gayness at times, I'm really quite shy. I've noticed SEE-Ses be too pushy with me like 'don't just write or think it, come and be a preppy with me in the real world!' but I don't trust or like this... I don't want to open up to a SEE and be put on the chessboard, because they can be quite manipulative. and kind of too bitchy/hurtful/mean if you cross them the wrong way.

yeah IEI-Ni can not cooperate with somebody and be a stubborn mule if we just... aren't trusting the person.

It was so hard for me today to do simple basic tasks. I have 1D Se, you have 4D Se- what I did was so exhausting and draining for me compared to if YOU did it- can't you see that? But to SEE this is just like 'aww what a cute little victim!' or 'lazy pussy' and with their Ti polr and valued but 1D Ni they can't even properly categorize it really - and it annoys them that they can't. its just like 'you're being a shit' because of their 1D Ti. and well to be fair- maybe I am being a shit. But that's not right either. I'm a human being, not a pile of feces. /temporarily placates Delta Social Worker.

i don't know what to say, 1D Se and Te is lol sometimes. It's like... I just want to be "raped" to do things and to take care of the physical world while I think internally about how beautiful and gay I am.

IEIs don't really like drama like that, I mean maybe other people's drama/drama from a safe distance but I don't think u should provoke him that way and instead continue to be Se "pushy" without starting fights? i don't know. give him Se but don't give him drama.

[Tarnished]

From what I remember, my problem with some SLE is I don't give them enough Fe feedback, since they won't get Fi. Other semidual ITR could have some similar problems? I'm not sure.

[VewyScawwyNawcissist]

SEE who was trying to get me to tlak to her, i didnt understand what she wanted me to talk about. maybe bc i mirror ppl, i need some kind of information to go off of. im kind of reluctant to mention that since i think it may be more related to my mental illness.
what kind of questions i dont like is "what did u do today" since its nothing too specific for me to think of something interesting to say in particular.
maybe u can talk about dramas in ur pasts?
dont want to make too many assumptions but maybe neither of u has been "properly socialized"

[Tarnished]

SEE who was trying to get me to tlak to her, i didnt understand what she wanted me to talk about. maybe bc i mirror ppl, i need some kind of information to go off of. im kind of reluctant to mention that since i think it may be more related to my mental illness.
what kind of questions i dont like is "what did u do today" since its nothing too specific for me to think of something interesting to say in particular.
maybe u can talk about dramas in ur pasts?
dont want to make too many assumptions but maybe neither of u has been "properly socialized"

SEE: "what did u do today" or similar question
Me: "Nothing special"
Next time:
SEE: "what did u do today" or similar question
Me: "Nothing special"

Repeated everytime we meet

This dude really thought he's patient? I'm much more patient than him

[nifl]

>When we're together it's a bit quiet, with me asking him questions and trying to start some kind of conversation but he barely cooperates.
If there was semi-duality, this process should normally not be perceived as so difficult - in casual togetherness, Se of SEE easily stimulates IEI, and Ni draws SEE in, calms him/her etc. Stagnancy I wouldn't expect from semi-duality, either, since there is partial support of the weak functions. The main problem with semi-duality is the perceived inadequacies of the foreign values and the lack of support for the other weak function - IEI can be perceived as too emotional, but not kind and considerate, not reasonable and smart enough, too concerned with abstract models, ignoring of factual reality etc. by SEE.

>I get frustrated and pick a fight/start drama about something to get some kind of emotional reaction out of him
This is more what Fe egos do.