Introverted Aggressors
How does an introverted aggressor (particularly, a female one) actually come across in a romantic interaction/flirtation?
I've had extrovert Se girls hit on me and it was super direct like the way some men hit on girls, but I'm having trouble seeing the introverts doing the same thing. Is it much the same?
What do you mean by aggressor? As in an aggressive socially, sexually?
-
Dual type(as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
As in the romance style employed by types with Se in their ego block. The complementary half to victim types.
That's ISTj and ISFj, right? Um, I don't know about female ISTjOriginally Posted by Narcotic
but Male ISTj see me and head strait for me and start talking to me in a loud and expressive tone until I respond and then they drop out of the convo to think about it. But they don't leave me alone; they are aggressive, they will make blunt comments and prod at me about my appearance, my hair, clothes etc, if they see something they like they will ask "where did you get that from; that color looks good" etc. If I have a tear in my jeans, and I have had that once, an LSI stuck his finger right in it. I was like "wooooo, ok date over."
@lungs
@blackburry
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
Work hard, fuck harder.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
HOW HAS MARITSA NOT "LEARNED" THAT PART OF SOCIONICS YET?!
"[Scapegrace,] I don't know how anyone can stand such a sinister and mean individual as you." - Maritsa Darmandzhyan
Brought to you by socionix.com
lol, maritsa, where was the hole?
i can only speak for myself (though my ex i type esi wasn't remarkably different than this)
my "flirting" would be better categorized in my mind as testing the waters. i feel super shy about playful banter stuff because i'm not great at coming up with cute remarks off the cuff so if i engage in that i'm probably not particularly concerned with how i'm coming across (so likely not interested). its more like a hand on the arm or a certain kind of eye contact or a stand-alone compliment or statement. not intended to be obvious or "hitting on" him but just to gauge his reaction to see if i feel safe being more direct later. and once i've established that, i have a history of being sort of unsettlingly direct because in my mind its like: okay, time to suck it up and let him know, here goes. not extremely suave but i just feel like it has to be done. a frank: "i'm into you and i wanna go out with you" thing. subdued and clear and usually not flirty. it might not be typical for all isxjs but i could attribute it to se-creative getting nervous about ambiguity and the future and just wanting to get it on the table and clear and simple. sometimes he catches on and asks me out first which is convenient but it's nice to not feel like i'm sitting on a secret. which is why i kinda suck at the games girls are supposed to play, or whatever.
in my ex's case he did the testing of the waters and then kissed me. from the outside it was sorta funny how the kiss was seemingly spontaneous and "aggressive" but not exactly unexpected.
my upper thigh
I felt all sorts of violated.
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
I didn't end it; I ended seeing him again LOL; I'm not that bold.
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
LOl but a cute venus fly trapbasically, being an introvert aggressor means i circle like a vulture before attacking. my sli ex compared me to a venus fly trap.
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
OK, @ashlesha, thanks for the reference.
I still think this is constructive, because it is a good description where I can find no other good descriptions. For example, when the ESI-Se Artist last visited me this summer, she brushed up against my arm and I caught her smiling, as if she liked touching, but then she ran away.
Maybe next time she'll be more explicit.
Truly, I don't hit on guys in the extroverted fashion you've mentioned. I've tried it but I didn't enjoy it. It's uncomfortable because it ends up being me doing the chasing, and truly, I don't want the chase. I might give someone compliments if I think they're cute and I like them, and/or just to make them feel good, but that doesn't mean I actually want a date with them.
If I feel comfortable with a guy who I find might be a real potential partner, I will make a move, such as talking more to them, but it won't be in a sexual manner. If I confide in someone directly, that means I feel comfortable with them. Generally, I stay at a certain distance with most people. And then when it's time and we know each other, I will make the first move sexually.
yes? I was summoned by marista lol.
hmm.. are you asking to use this information to your advantage? awwww.
I honestly have no clue what I do. I feel the person out.I think I flirt in a teasing way. But only if the other person seems to be receptive and does it back. Usually I'll put my foot in my mouth the first few times when I'm trying to figure out the other person's sense of humor. Subtle at first. Then increasingly more direct. I do know I get annoyed if I have to take a huge initiative, but also if someone is too persistent. I like a "whatever, that's cool" kind of vibe, not a huge amount pressure until I'm actually close with the person.
You and Lungs both are quite good at sensing the reception of others to your flirtation. I'm poorer with that kind of stuff.
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
If it is with a Ni type - they project this certain vulnerability that I pick up on - and I act on it.
With this IEI at the moment - I will see him in the corridors and he will look timidly at me - then look away. I think to myself 'hey we know one another - if this was with any other person they would probably acknowledge them - so there must be something more than casual friendship and approach them with confidence that they are interested and express interest back to reassure them.
With an LIE - I would call him to meet up with me and he would say yes excitedly and then not show up. I think to myself ' well he seemed so keen - what changed' so I call him again and he is reassured that I want him around so he comes over.
I like interacting with aggressors too but eh it feels less special? and when they come at me I sorta want to retreat?
With an infantile I will do something caregiving and they sorta resist at first or get picky and I get pretty fed up straight away and angrily say 'well do you want it or not' - because I know I'm not going to overextend myself catering for them!
Strange. I've always though Aggressors pick on some "hard to get" aspect that Victims project. In my experience they don't really like vulnerability ....unless it's something momentary in the whole "symphony" of dating&co. Introverted Aggressors have this aura of solidity, they look very contained (and to a certain extent hard to approach themselves) and observe you for a long time before getting into "attack mode". They like more games of sexual tension than extroverted ones, who are fairly straightforward in their approach. With ES_Ps there's hardly anything unpredictable, you usually know from second 2 when they want to get you and they will just pursue you instinctively. It's as if they don't need to process much of the whole interaction, they just react to immediate stimuli.
That's very well worded, with the moments in the symphony of all of it.
Oh yes the observing thing before attack mode fits very much.Introverted Aggressors have this aura of solidity, they look very contained (and to a certain extent hard to approach themselves) and observe you for a long time before getting into "attack mode". They like more games of sexual tension than extroverted ones, who are fairly straightforward in their approach. With ES_Ps there's hardly anything unpredictable, you usually know from second 2 when they want to get you and they will just pursue you instinctively. It's as if they don't need to process much of the whole interaction, they just react to immediate stimuli.
Er that makes no sense for the LSI one. I dunno about ESI but the LSI one really doesn't fit in this way. You may be confusing it with the male SLE stereotype thingy.
Private messaging online hardly requires extraversion lol. I find the latter a bit too indirect unless you mean this only goes on for a short time like that before going direct.
What does attack mode consist of? I am hearing both Overt and Discreet types of "aggression" as it relates to introverts in the thread.
I've had girls (who I later dated) ignore me for a long time and then make subtle attempts at a casual interaction. Is that aggression? A simple interaction as an attempt to break the ice?
Is it much different than SLE SEE and how so and do you believe an Se/Ti or Se/Fi act differently among subtypes? Thnx
It means she likes you, but she's still unsure and needs to observe you, a little intimidated, and doesn't want to appear as easy. It's not aggression in socionics interpretation.
No that's not aggression lol. That's just, attempt to break the ice. At least not entirely passive of course.
It's different from Se bases, yes. I called it "attack mode" because it's a distinct new phase and distinctly more active and decisive after the observation phase. I'm more direct than the subtle attempts thing you write about.
Whatever it consists of specifically depends on the situation. Give me a type of situation and I can say more.
Zero initiative - that's not me. I may want a signal first before I take initiative but in some cases not needed. With ESI-Fi's, I think it's more soft/subtle, if that's the type you were mainly thinking of.
I love how nobody posting in this thread knows what they're talking about. It proves how awesome socionics is. Two thumbs up.
"[Scapegrace,] I don't know how anyone can stand such a sinister and mean individual as you." - Maritsa Darmandzhyan
Brought to you by socionix.com
'cuze me?
yeah, uhhuh, do tell....
I wrote about how I do it in real life. Pretty sure lungs did to. There's a problem with that?
I didn't mean literally I meant most people. Read it.
"[Scapegrace,] I don't know how anyone can stand such a sinister and mean individual as you." - Maritsa Darmandzhyan
Brought to you by socionix.com
All aggressor means is Se. You want to know what Se means?
Something taken for granted I would say.
Maybe we could talk about what Se means when "it" "interacts" with other people (so to speak).
And also try and reconcile the difference between introverted females - who are seen as being more passive by Socionics and society (respectively) - and the more controlling nature of Se.
Or you could just link me something from wikisocion as a snide comment, if you want.
Warm Regards,
Clowns & Entropy
In my experience LSI women are pretty direct, especially if they like you physically, they will give out compliments which feel basically like they are hitting on you (I am NOT saying I dislike this approach, lol).
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
PUSH N' PULL BASICALLY
Erm...I don't know what you're asking really..
Introverted Aggressor? Like ISTj, ISFj? They are more likely to use (Se) and be alot more direct with how they are coming across.
As opposed to ESFp, ESTp, introverted conscious functions which make them more smooth and calculating inward.
For example...me, I wish I could really just walk up to a girl and be like hey..you wanna fuck? Or just grab her and fuck her there....can't do that. Im too damn aggressive and in the moment, I want it NOW (Se). Now it really all depends on the situation, if its in a place that has high Se like a club...then I could do that, but other than that i'd have to rely on my experience and Ti to try to smooth my way and gradually capture my prey. Infact,in the aggressor/victim relationship, the one with the extraverted -conscious- functions (ISFJ,ISTJ,INTP,INFP) really initiates the contact in the first place in some way, although anyone who uses Se will be direct in some form, whether it be phyiscal contact/ eye contact/ w/e. Then its up to the aggressor if he/she wants to play. Plus I have other values that influence my behavior but thats just me, I value myself first as a man so I dont chase.
I mean it really depends on the situation.
hmmmm... interesting....
duly noted.
Guess that's why I dont enjoy the club scene much other than to just dance with a (large) group of friends once in a blue moon, at a reasonable hour.
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
one way my ISxj friend does this is point something out about your appearance or something in your possession, like your drinking cup on a table, and make a teasing comment about it
I find this song illustrates pretty well what it is like being an Introverted Aggressor (ESI-Se in particular).
Mainly this phrase:
You can run, you can hide
But you can't escape my love
LSI most likely won't give a damn and just start interacting with their chosen partner as if they already agreed to be together. ESI will probably be more cat-like and draw things out longer to see if their partner meets their expections before closing in.
Introverted aggressors, I honestly wouldn't know because I've neverrrrr gotten hit on by any that I can remember. Maybe in like middle school. But any guys who would approach me that I can remember were extroverted aggressors or caregivers. Introverted aggressors I think will still make the first move on women in the same way an extroverted aggressor would. Maybe with a little more charm, actually and less bluntness. Introverted aggressor women will be more prone to making the first move.
Sometimes direct and at other times in need of encouragement.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
subtype.)